Chapter Four: Mishaps Happen

A/N: I needed a pick me up after Reminiscence. Gods but the canon is so EMO and though I try I still must write emo. Urg I am made for humor, not for all that sadness! Though I was not supposed to touch this for awhile I needed an extra amount of humor because the emo makes me cry and run off to eat buttercream icing…

Nerevar: Are you going to tell them about that idea you had for this story regarding me, Vivec, and Divayth?

Sin: Nerevar-chan they're smart readers, I'm sure they'll guess it.

Nerevar: But I wanna tell them!

Sin: Do you doubt our readers?

Nerevar:..No….

Sin: Then let them use THEIR gray matter and not yours!

EDIT: Looking so much cleaner~!

Nerevar smiled as she watched her son run through her Tower.

Ha'ri was much smarter than any other two year old (Divayth assured her of this), and his magical skills proved it. She was guessed it was eating all those alchemy ingredients that she was quite certain a toddler should not ingest.

The scorch mark on the wall from his first fireball still had not been cleaned off yet, since it was a memento of Ha'ri's first Destruction spell. She smiled as she saw him reach up and demanded with a "Momma!" Nerevar picked him up and cuddled the giggling child, much to his delight. She was just glad he was now 'potty trained' as Divayth called it.

Life was much easier now, if more singed and frostbitten and electrifying while Ha'ri learned magic. A stray lightning bolt zapped the hugging duo, making their hair frizz. Ha'ri giggled and said "Momma, your hair is so funny!" She looked at his newly spiky hair and ruffled it, much to his pleasure.

"If only you could see your hair now Ha'ri, you would not say mine looks silly." Ha'ri shook his head as he giggled; prompting Nerevar to say "Let me show you how you look Ha'ri."

A screech of surprise rocketed through the Tower. "MOMMA! I LOOK LIKE A PUPPY!" Nerevar chuckled and rebutted, "No no Ha'ri. You look like a porcupine."

"MOMMA!

Vivec pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation at his godson, the one he was watching for his mother. Nerevar had said she was going hunting for the perfect gifts for her son's birthday before dropping Ha'ri off. However she had not warned him just how much magic she had taught him.

For the Daedra's sakes, he had not expected a three year old to be competent enough to cast an Invisibility spell! Or that Nerevar had taught her son how to play 'the game' so soon…

Vivec flinched as he heard an evil and devilish giggle. How he wished Nerevar had been kidding when she had said she would make her son her protégé. He knew now, the kid's surname suited the child far too aptly. "FOR HOUSE TELVANNI!"

"Gaack!"

Vivec cursed Azura soundly for gifting Nerevar with her own child to mold in her own accursed image.

Divayth placed a hand over his racing heart.

Once more Nerevar had entrusted him with her Daedric spawn of a four and a half year old. As time had passed he, and Vivec, had come to realize 'godfather' was simply a sophisticated word for 'glorified babysitter'. And since Nerevar had no concept of which spells a child should know, Divayth was doomed. Utterly, completely doomed.

He flinched as he heard the snicker snacker of a Dwarven spider and the moaning of a Corpus victim intermixed with splashes of water.

Ha'ri apparently had been taught powerful Command Creature and Humanoid spells, and had commanded one of the Corpus victims in the Corpusarium to draw a bath and bathe Yagrum. A deeply horrifying prospect on many levels. Ha'ri had claimed loudly he could not look upon Yagrum's filth anymore; Divayth suspected that he, like his mother, had simply done it for the Oblivion of it.

"Hurry! He's starting to fight my influence!"

"Augggghhhh…"

Divayth could only hope Nerevar found this more amusing than something to thrash him over.

"WHAT THE OBLVION IS THAT CORPUS THING DOING NEAR MY PRIVATES?" Divayth sighed and resigned himself to his fate.

Ha'ri bounced in excitement as he saw the wooden boxes that were his presents. He looked to his mother, who was watching him with proud eyes, and asked shyly,"Which one is yours Momma?"

Ha'ri grinned as his mother shot smug looks to his disgruntled godfathers. Of course he would pick her first!

"The middle crate Ha'ri!"

Ha'ri made his way over to his mother's crate excitedly, thinking 'Mom always gets me the best presents!'. Eagerly he ripped off the nailed down lid with his bare hands, sending the lid flying. That the lid went flying and nearly nailed Vivec was something Ha'ri did not notice.

"Just what the Oblivion are you doing with your kid Nerevar?" Vivec exclaimed angrily from his crouch on the floor, but no one paid him any attention. Though Divayth did snicker at him.

Ha'ri's eyes sparkled like shiny coins as he squealed in happiness at Nerevar's gifts. He pulled out shuriken and throwing darts of all kinds, an enchanted robe for his size, and Daedric daggers. He rushed and hugged his mother's, for once unarmored, waist as he jabbered with adulation.

"Best. Presents. EVER!"

Vivec grimaced as Nerevar stuck out her tongue and pulled down her eyelid at her son's godfathers. He knew his present of religious texts from the world over could not compare, but he hoped that there was still a chance to halt Ha'ri's transformation into a male Nerevar. Inwardly he sneered, At least my presents are bound to be better than that cur's. Divayth piped up and broke Vivec from his thoughts.

"Open mine next Ha'ri! It's the one on the left!"

Ha'ri zoomed over to the crate and once again sent the lid flying towards Vivec, who yelped in fear as it sailed by his head. Ha'ri looked inside and found books; spell books to be specific.

"Runes: How to Cast Them and Why They are Fun. By Divayth Fyr."

Ha'ri nearly fainted in joy while Nerevar burst out laughing. Vivec glared hotly at Divayth, the horrible monster, and hissed "What the Oblivion are you doing? Are you insane?"

Divayth smirked at the distressed halfling God and said "Can't trump Nerevar? Then join Nerevar!" An explosion sounded and they automatically turned to see what the other two had done. A sooty Ha'ri and Nerevarhad wide grins on their faces with their eyebrows nothing more than singe marks.

Vivec sagged in exasperation. What had he been thinking? Who could honestly halt the inevitable coming of the male Nerevar?