A/N Fourth interview, Beatle people! Thank you for your favs, reviews and alerts, you are AWESOME!
Again, remember the slashy things are joking. (:
INTERVIEWER: Hello loves! Time for another interview!
JOHN: Woohoo… So excited…
INTERVIEWER: I understand it without the sarcasm.
GEORGE: Can't you see John and Paul had to stop doing whatever they were doing to go here?
RINGO: Do you think that's fair?
PAUL: It isn't…
INTERVIEWER: Anyway! The Be–
GEORGE: BEATLES!
INTERVIEWER: Yes… The Beatles are so excited and eager to answer all my questions!
RINGO: JOHN! Don't fall asleep!
JOHN: W-What? Ah, sorry…
GEORGE: I'm the sleepy one, you can't take my place!
PAUL: You're the hungry one.
JOHN: And you're the cutie one, Macca.
RINGO: Do we have to talk in EVERY bloody interview about how cute Paul is?
PAUL: I don't see any reasons for stopping.
RINGO: Of course you don't.
JOHN: Is Mr. Starkey jealous of Paul's cuteness?
GEORGE: No, he's just jealous of all the attention Paul gets because of it.
JOHN: Paul may be the cute Beatle, but you are the drummer Beatle!
RINGO: AGAIN? WITHOUT ME YOU'D BE NOTHING! YOU NEED A DRUMMER! YOU NEED ME! YES, YOU DO!
GEORGE: Da hell?
RINGO: You're fucking racists with me because I don't write the cheesy songs or play the guitar.
JOHN: Ringsy, calm down man…
INTERVIEWER: Ringsy? I've never heard that nickname…
GEORGE: Of course we need you Ritchie! We love you!
PAUL: We love you, yeah, yeah, yeah!
JOHN: We love you, yeah, yeah, yeah!
RINGO: You love me, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
GEORGE: You think you lost your love, well you saw us yesterday…
PAUL: It's you we're thinking of, and we told ourselves what to say…
JOHN: We say we love you, and you know that can't be bad…
GEORGE: Yes, we love you, and you know you should be glad…
RINGO: Awww… With a love like that, I am surely glad.
INTERVIEWER: How touching. Can we start the interview now?
PAUL: Yeah, yeah, yeah!
INTERVIEWER: What do you think about subcultures?
RINGO: Sub-wha?
JOHN: Subcultures; like goth, hippie, teddy boys, greasers and hipsters.
INTERVIEWER: That's right!
JOHN: You see? I'm the smart Beatle.
RINGO: I was a teddy boy!
JOHN: I was a Ted too!
RINGO: But I was the real Ted!
GEORGE: At the beginning I was scared of him…
INTERVIEWER: Just answer the question!
RINGO: Before the Beatles, I was in a band called Rory Storm and the Hurricanes, and I was a real teddy boy. John was a wannabe.
INTERVIEWER: You still didn't answer my question.
PAUL: Gee, you're interviewing the Bea-
GEORGE: BEATLES!
PAUL: Ehem, as I was saying, you're interviewing the Be-
GEORGE: BEATLES!
PAUL: Do you have to do that every time I'm going to say the name of our band?
GEORGE: BEATLES!
JOHN: He just likes to piss you off, Paulie. It's fun because you get irritated too fast.
RINGO: Let's piss of Paulie!
INTERVIEWER: I have a better idea…! ANSWER THE QUESTION.
RINGO: What question? About who was the real ted? I'm sure I made clear it was me.
INTERVIEWER: No! The question about what do you think about subcultures!
PAUL: It's a good way of expressing one's self.
INTERVIEWER: Why?
PAUL: You're asking too much questions!
GEORGE: It's cool to have people with the same interests and ideas of you.
INTERVIEWER: But you're not answering anything. I mean, it's not just people with the same interests of you.
JOHN: Yeah, because then Beatlemania would be a subculture.
INTERVIEWER: But it isn't!
PAUL: How do you know? I think it is!
JOHN: No Paul, it isn't.
PAUL: I like to think it is.
JOHN: But it isn't, Paul!
PAUL: I don't care!
RINGO: We have a sub-whatever-it's-called!
JOHN: We don't!
INTERVIEWER: Okay, stop! Let's pass to the next question… What's your favorite thing to touch?
JOHN: Paul.
GEORGE: Paul?
RINGO: Paul!
PAUL: What the…?
INTERVIEWER: I see… What's your favorite part of Paul to touch?
PAUL: Why do you ask them? You're mean! They're going to say some embarrassing lie to embarrass me!
GEORGE: Paul's skin is probably the softest thing you can touch.
RINGO: Paul's hair is the smoothest thing you can caress.
GEORGE: Paul's lips are the―
JOHN: ENOUGH, OK? YOU JUST WANT ME TO BE JEALOUS!
PAUL: Oh, and what they said before it's true.
JOHN: Of course it is! Who knows him better than me?
RINGO: I don't know… Someone whose name starts with Jane and finishes with Asher.
JOHN: No, no, no.
GEORGE: What?
JOHN: I know Paul better than Jane!
RINGO: I don't know, maybe we should ask Paul.
JOHN: Yes Paul, answer please?
GEORGE: Don't forget Jane is probably going to watch this interview…
JOHN: She isn't. She's probably busy rehearsing for her play.
RINGO: But she's going to find out whatever answer Paul gives.
JOHN: ANSWER PAUL!
PAUL: Jane.
JOHN: WHAT?
PAUL: Jane knows me better and she loves me more than you.
GEORGE: And the jealousy-pissed-off-scream starts in…
RINGO: 3…2…1
JOHN: JAMES PAUL McCARTNEY! DON'T YOU DARE―
PAUL: I was joking. Of course you know me better… I know you since I'm 15… I taught you to play the guitar… We've never been apart since then.
GEORGE: Except when we were in Hamburg and I was deported for being too young, and then Paul had to go back to Liverpool too and John was left alone in Hamburg.
JOHN: Then I went back and Paul had a bloody job as a mailman or something like that, and his father didn't want him to keep along with the band, and I told him, 'Come here. If you don't come you're out of the band. You have to choose between me and your dad.'
PAUL: And I chose―
JOHN: ME!
PAUL: It's you, you, you, you, you…
JOHN: Hold me tight, let me go on loving you…
PAUL: Tonight, tonight, making love to only you…
JOHN: So hold me tight, tonight, tonight, it's you, you, you, you…
PAUL: Don't know what it means to hold you tight, being here along tonight with you…
JOHN: It feels so right now hold me tight!
RINGO: Did anyone else notice that when they sing together they look like more than just singing partners?
GEORGE: Yeah, I did.
JOHN: Tell me I'm the only one, and then I might never be the lonely one…
PAUL: SO HOLD―
INTERVIEWER: You can hold him tight when you get home. Now we have to keep up the interview.
GEORGE: Woah woah ahhhh! Woah woah ahhhhh!
RINGO: John got a whole lot of things to tell Paul when they get home…
JOHN: Come on, out my way, 'cause I'm gonna see my baby today, I got a whole lot of things I wanna say to him…
GEORGE: Woah woah ahhhh! Woah woah ahhhh!
RINGO: I've got a whole lot of things to tell George when I get home…
GEORGE: Come on, if you please, I have no time for trivialities, I got a boy who's waiting there for me tonight…
PAUL: Woah woah ahh! Woah woah ahhh!
GEORGE: Rings got a whole lot of things to tell me when he gets home…
JOHN: When I get home tonight, I'm gonna hold him tight, I'm gonna love him till the cows come home…
INTERVIEWER: Enough auto-promoting your songs here! Let's follow the interview!
JOHN: 'She loves you', 'Hold me tight', and 'When I get home', Beatle people!
RINGO: Don't worry; if you buy the record, the queer lines are not included.
INTERVIEWER: In the past interview Paul said he was going to talk about when John and he started writing songs.
PAUL: After we met, we started hanging out, listening records, playing music and stuff. And soon I showed him the song I wrote, 'I lost my little girl', and that inspired him to write, 'Hello little girl'
JOHN: Paul was more advanced than I was, and he taught me to play the guitar properly and some guitar chords.
PAUL: When I met him, he played a five-string guitar like a banjo, and only knew three banjo chords that weren't even chords.
JOHN: So we kind of learned to play the guitar together, because he wasn't a pro either.
PAUL: We started writing down songs in a little notebook I had. Only the lyrics and the chords, so we had to remember everything. We didn't have any tape recorders.
JOHN: We thought that if we didn't remember the melody of something we wrote, how the others are supposed to remember it? So if we remembered a song, it was a good composition. If we didn't, it was trash. It's still our philosophy.
GEORGE: I feel so excluded right now… Hey Rings, let's start a songwriting partnership!
RINGO: Starr/Harrison!
GEORGE: Harrison/Starr sounds better, and it is the alphabetical order!
RINGO: Who cares about alphabetical order?
GEORGE: It's like Lennon/McCartney! John goes first because L goes before M in the alphabet.
RINGO: No. John goes first because he manipulated Paul, and Paul is too manipulative.
JOHN: I didn't manipulate him! But Lennon/McCartney obviously sounds better than McCartney/Lennon.
GEORGE: You have just screwed it up, John.
JOHN: What?
RINGO: Let me quote you, 'Lennon/McCartney OBVIOUSLY sounds better than McCartney/Lennon'. Really John?
GEORGE: And then you say you're not cocky and that you don't brag.
RINGO: See that Paul is so quiet? He's pissed off.
GEORGE: You said it's easy to piss him off. Well congrats! He's really pissed off with you!
RINGO: I bet he isn't going to even talk to you tonight.
GEORGE: So forget the 'hold me tight' thing.
JOHN: Can you two just be quiet?
RINGO: Okay, we'll shut up.
INTERVIEWER: But I need you to follow the interview!
PAUL: Go away, leave me alone, don't bother me.
GEORGE: That song is 'Don't bother me'! And I wrote it! YES, I WROTE IT WITHOUT McCARTNEY OR LENNON!
RINGO: We're going to write a song together Geo, I promise!
JOHN: Are you really pissed off, love?
GEORGE: You don't ask those questions, John. You just say sorry.
JOHN: I'm sorry Paulie… Why am I such an egg-head? Our partnership is something beautiful and I love writing songs and sharing the credit with you. All my songs are yours; ours. And you know I've always been jealous of your talent even if I never admit it. And you also know that the Lennon/McCartney signature is because of the alphabetical order.
PAUL: I wasn't pissed off or upset. I am used to your cocky comments, and actually, you have said things ten times worse. I just wanted to hear John Lennon apologizing to Paul McCartney worldwide.
JOHN: But you know all I said is true, right?
PAUL: Of course I know silly. You're cute when you want to. I love you Johnny.
JOHN: I love you more Paulie.
RINGO: Awwwwwwwkwwwwwwward...
GEORGE: The interviewer is going to say something about following the interview in 3…2…1…
INTERVIEWER: Actually, your queer talks and blabbers made this interviewer impossible to follow, and time's up so…
JOHN: WE CAN GO!
GEORGE: Hey lads, how about waffles today too?
RINGO: But I want pancakes!
PAUL: I want pancakes too!
JOHN: Pancakes will be!
INTERVIEWER: Gee… I am amazed about how childish you are…
PAUL: But you still want to keep interviewing us because we are awesome, and also we are the―
GEORGE: BEATLES!
JOHN: I feel like I should remind you again to not take this stuff too serious, please…
PAUL: Because we love you! And you know that can't be bad…
JOHN: And I love YOU, Paulie!
INTERVIEWER: ENOUGH! TODAY'S INTERVIEW IS OVER!
A/N Thank you for reading!
You can send me questions for them or suggestions if you want!
Also, is there some other 'pairing' you would like me to 'play' with?
Do you want me to write about the Beatles actually talking about girls?