Trigger Warning |In Entry #51, Keiko describes being physically and sexually assaulted. In this encounter, however, she is not raped. (I just wanted to throw that out there in case it worries readers when reading this warning).
Shizuru will save the day. Please read at your own risk.
Dear My Beloved
PART 3
幽 遊 白書
Entry #51
Date: September 8, 1993
I recently began the second half of my first year in high school, and it's getting so much harder to wait for you, Yusuke. At school, people call me the 'Ice Queen,' because I turn down every single guy who asks me out. I never give them a reason because I don't want them asking questions about my somewhat nonexistent fiancé, but they seem to be multiplying. At least once a week so far, a guy from the academy next door catches me on my way home and asks me out, but as I've said, I always say 'no.'
Yesterday, a third-year male student followed me home. I probably wouldn't have minded much if my parents were home from another business trip (go figure!) since we have a public restaurant, but he didn't come into the diner until the latest hour of my shift, long after I changed into comfortable clothes and relieved Suzie (my parents' newest hired hand) from her shift.
I was busy cleaning the counter when I heard a click from behind me, and I whirled around to find him standing in front of the locked door, with no intention of leaving any time soon.
I told him we were closed and insisted he return in the morning if he wanted something to eat, but he only chuckled and told me I was too naïve. I stayed behind the counter but moved slowly towards the phone on the wall when he began to approach softly towards me.
I don't know if it was panic or adrenaline or both, but in one instant, I ran the rest of the way to the telephone only to be instantly forced backwards as my hair was yanked downward, preventing me from moving on my own. My back was then slammed hard against the wall, but before I fell forwards, my attacker gripped my shoulders tightly and pinned me against the wall's cold, scratchy surface, his right knee forcefully separating my legs.
I was so scared, Yusuke!
I tried to catch a breath, but he seized the opportunity and forced his lips on mine as he darted his tongue inside my mouth. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think. I couldn't cry out for help, so I did the only thing I could do to get him away from me.
I bit his tongue.
He coddled his mouth the instant my teeth stomped on his intruding appendage, and he stepped backwards with a mixture of shock and anger, swearing at me crudely before I kicked him hard between his legs. He doubled over so I raced towards the phone, but instead of calling the police, I called the only other person I knew who would get to the diner fast enough.
Though Kuwabara wasn't home, Shizuru answered the phone, but before I had a chance to tell her what was going on, my assailant had regained his mobility and ended up yanking my hair backwards, causing me to yelp in pain. The phone fell from my hands, as I reached up to shield my face when he tried kissing me again. I ended up catching his face in my hands, so I pushed his head as far back as I could, but I couldn't free myself from his tight grip on my hair, so he jerked harder.
Unable to keep him away from me any longer, I grabbed my head, trying to ease the pain in my scalp, but I couldn't move out of the way in time before his fist struck my left eye. I've never been hit like that before in my life, and the pain paralyzed me. The next thing I knew, he had forced himself on top of me, and his heavier weight made it hard to breathe. I tried to push him off, but before I could smack him, he had grabbed my hands with one of his larger ones and pinned them above my head. I struggled underneath him, and when I tried to cry for help that time, he choked me with his tongue and then bit my lip, hard. He began ripping my shirt apart, snapping off all of its buttons before shoving my bra upwards.
I cried, praying for a savior, and jerked as much as I could as he tried to force down my yoga pants, doing my best to kick him in anyway possible. He managed to grip my waistband and stripped it down as far as he could. My panties, my only saving grace, clung low on my hips after being peeled partly down with my pants. I squeezed my legs together, hoping, praying doing that would make his second-to-last quest even harder, but as his hand barely slipped underneath my pantie-line, he whipped his attention towards the front part of the restaurant as what sounded like the front door busted open.
He cursed under his breath and scattered to his feet before kicking my side for 'calling the intruder.' He bolted, leaving me curled as I grasped the side of my stomach, struggling to breathe.
Before he could vanish, though, my savior found him and knocked him out, leaving him unconscious on the street for the police to pick up. I heard Shizuru's voice coming closer, but the pain in my side was too great. I ended up passing out before she could get to me, and I didn't wake up until many hours later.
She had carried me to my bed and stayed in my room with me over the night to make sure I would be okay. When I came to, she gave me a cup of water and after a good, long cry, she hugged me and suggested I write everything that happened to me down in case I ever wanted to come forward about the attack. She had found his ID and wrote down his name and address before tossing him like a sack of potatoes outside of the restaurant and had called the police.
She even said she unzipped his pants and tugged them along with his boxers down to his ankles to at least have him arrested for indecent exposure, and if the police were to ask any questions, she said she would handle it, not wanting me to worry about anything but resting.
Shizuru called my school for me because I didn't want to go today, and when she left to make us some breakfast, I tried to sleep but every time I would close my eyes, I would remember, and it scared me to think I could be overcome so easily. I'm so weak and stupid for letting my guard down. I should have slapped him when I had the chance…
I threw on a pair of jeans and a hoodie, keeping to myself as Shizuru told incoming customers from downstairs to buzz off for the day.
I spotted my torn shirt in the trash can, and I shivered, trying to forget his cold, icy touch. When I realized what he could have taken away from me, I ran to the bathroom and retched into the toilet. I found myself hiding in the bathtub, sobbing like a blubbering baby and curling into a ball to protect myself.
When Shizuru found me, I had passed out again, and when I woke up, I was not home. I found myself resting against a familiar softness, and I inhaled deeply, smelling your scent. My eyes open instantly, and at first, I thought you were there with me, but my shoulders dropped when I saw Puu looking at me with concern.
I instantly hugged him tighter and cried my eyes out, and he wrapped himself around me as if to protect me from harm, and I never felt safer.
I didn't leave Puu's side for hours.
Yusuke, if you ever read this journal without me knowing, please don't mention this horrible memory to me. I only wrote what happened here in detail to essentially get it off my chest and maybe one day use it if I ever want to come forward about my attacker, so please do not ask me about this.
I'll tell you one day, I promise, when I'm ready, but not until then.
I don't even know if you're coming back….
Maybe it's for the best if you don't… then I wouldn't feel so ashamed for what happened….
But if you do come back, I hope my heart and my mind will be in a better place than they are now.
I love you, still.
Keiko.
Yusuke swallowed the thick knot in his throat as he placed down the journal, needing a moment to calm himself down. Keiko wouldn't want him to lose his temper over something she doesn't even know he knows. He gritted his teeth and wanted to punch something, anything, before he did something stupid.
He was angry with himself for not being there for her.
If he hadn't been in Demon World, pursuing his own damned interests, then he could have protected her! Yusuke exhaled a deep breath and closed his eyes, needing to focus.
When he was calm again, he flipped to an entry a few pages over.
Entry #65
Date: November 5, 1993
I couldn't take it anymore.
I cracked.
Every time I saw him staring at me as I left school, I grew more paranoid. Shizuru often escorted me to and from school since the attack, but today she couldn't…
He confronted me again at the library (I didn't feel safe going home and thought a public setting would be better) this time, trapping me away from everyone else, pinning me against a tall bookcase.
This time, however, I was prepared and sprayed him with mace. I bolted away from him, nearly stumbling down the steps to the main floor and raced out the door as I knew he would be following shortly, but instead of going home, I ran straight towards the police station and begged them to help me.
I told them everything that happened in rambles, not sure who would listen, so one of the officers went outside and checked the perimeter, but he didn't see anyone matching that student's description. They wouldn't investigate without evidence of my attack, and of course I couldn't find the polaroid Shizuru had taken of my bulging black eye the night of my attack. I felt so defeated; that photo was the only proof I had other than my dissolving sanity.
That officer offered to escort me home, but I knew that would be the extent of help I would receive so I refused his offer and asked if I could borrow the office phone. He nodded, so I picked up the receiver and called Shizuru, but unlike all the other times, she didn't answer. Kuwabara, however, did and said he'd be at the station very shortly.
I waited impatiently for him, but he arrived as promised and escorted me home. After I fixed him a meal to thank him for his time, we bid goodbye, and I closed the shop early for the day, obviously needing some extra sleep.
But as I headed for the stairs, I saw a shadow extending to the bottom step, and I panicked. I raced for the phone, but as another shadow closed in on me, all I could do was cower like a weak girl, and I found myself rocking back and forth with my head between my knees, praying I was only imagining things.
A hand ghosted over my shoulder, and I heard by name, but I didn't register the voice as I screamed, 'GET A WAY FROM ME!' as loudly as I could.
The next thing I heard was my mom's cracked and worried voice saying my name. My father, who happened to be at the top of the stairs, raced down the moment he heard my plea, demanding to know what was going on.
I called both of my parents' names out, not truly believing they were standing there, in front of me. 'Mom? D-Dad?' And when my mom fell to her knees and reached out to me, I collapsed into her loving embrace and cried in her arms. But for whatever reason, I was too ashamed to tell them what had happened, and my father was at a loss, not knowing how to help.
So, they suggested therapy.
I have an appointment tomorrow.
Yusuke immediately flipped to the next entry.
Entry #66
Date: November 6, 1993
I went to my appointment, but I didn't say a word. I withdrew inside myself, not trusting anything I might say. I was afraid I might share your whereabouts… or that my fiancé is not human… There were thousands of things I could say by accident that could send me to the psych ward, so I kept quiet.
I visited Genkai, Yukina and Puu afterwards, and I felt better. Puu almost wouldn't let me leave at the end of the day, and that made me smile. If only I could take him home with me; that would be the only way I'd feel safe at home again.
Botan was there too, that was when I told her what happened, but I begged her not to tell you. And she promised, understanding completely. Don't be mad at her, Yusuke, if you somehow find out about what happened from possibly reading this book. She was keeping a promise for a friend just as we're holding onto ours.
幽 遊 白書
WriterFreak001:
PLEASE review! :) They boost my confidence as a writer.
And remember, things will start looking up for Keiko.