A/N: This chap is set after Barry & Eddie abruptly leave the double date but before Joe comes home and has a brief skirmish with Iris about why he's not a fan of Iris & Eddie dating. It's also my first chapter I'm writing from Iris' POV. Initially I was going to wait till 1x09, and then I was going to make an exception for 1x05, but this felt realistic, so I went with it. :P

*Dedicated to iwasalwaysaromantic in exchange for another of her lovely icon batches.

*Many thanks to sendtherain for being an epic beta and getting this to me so quickly. 3

*I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended. For entertainment purposes only.

...

Chapter 4 - Going Rogue (1x04)

She was doing this for his own good.

Barry Allen was a catch. He was also her best friend, and Felicity was clearly into him. The blonde was also beautiful and had a ton in common with him. For the life of her, Iris couldn't figure out why he was so resistant. Or why he'd make up an excuse as lame as a stomachache and apparently…diarrhea – ew, gross – as a reason to bail on their double date. What girl would want to give a guy a second chance after being given that as an excuse? It screamed fear of commitment. Sure, Felicity had crossed the country to see him, but a girl could only be expected to endure so much rejection before deciding the guy wasn't worth the trouble. And Iris knew Barry was worth it.

Granted Eddie having to leave so suddenly effectively killed the double date status, but Iris would've found a way to smoothly exit the scene, so Barry and Felicity could have a date all to themselves. She would've patted herself on the back later for the success when he informed her he'd seen the light and planned on seeing her again.

But since she hadn't been allowed to put that plan into motion and had been unable to get her minor irritation at Barry off her mind, Felicity had inevitably taken the awkward silence as her cue to go. Not ten minutes after Barry left, so did Felicity, and Iris knew she had only herself to blame.

However, that didn't stop her from planning any and all ways on her way home from Jitters to convince Barry to consider Felicity as a real option the next time he saw her.

The house was dark when she arrived, which made sense. Dad was out with Eddie looking for Snart, and Barry was 'sick.' She rolled her eyes at that reminder and half-debated calling him up to see how sick he really was, but he'd probably see right through her, just like she'd seen through the terrible fake coughing he'd managed to never master all the years growing up together.

When he really needed to call in sick and he had to sound convincing over the phone, Iris would always be right there with him and stomp hard on his foot when he gave her the cue. He'd usually crumple over and then she'd kick him in the side, effectively pushing the grunt and groan out of him. She'd tried just jabbing at him with her nails once, but that had the unfortunate side effect of making him giggle because she'd hit a ticklish spot. That had earned him a suspension.

She smiled fondly at the reminder.

God, Barry Allen is such a catch.

The sound of the front door unlocking behind her pulled her out of her fond memories with Barry. It didn't occur to her who could possibly be showing up. As the recent events of the day fluttered through her mind, she realized it couldn't be her dad. Even if he and Eddie had caught and put away Snart, there was paperwork to be done. For all she knew they would be roped into another case. But Barry had gone home sick – or so Felicity had said – so it couldn't be-

"Barry!" Her jaw dropped as he walked through the door and smiled at her. A million questions ran through her mind as she stood up and walked over to him. "Felicity said you were sick. Are you okay?"

He blinked, then shook his head quickly, which should've tipped her off right away but for some reason didn't.

"Oh, yeah, no, no. I mean, yes, yes I'm feeling better. And no, I'm not sick. I thought I was, but I wasn't."

Her brows furrowed, and she frowned, confused.

"But she said you threw up and had…" She debated blurting out the rest but figured she'd save him the humiliation. "That you'd been in the bathroom a long time." She avoided his gaze briefly and cleared her throat.

"Yeah, I…uh, actually…"

Her thoughts spilled out of her mouth without warning.

"Though I don't know how she could have said you'd been in there a long time, since it was a minute max between when Eddie left and Felicity said you left…but if you'd needed to use the bathroom really bad then why wouldn't you have just used the one at Jitters? I mean, if you couldn't hold it…" She stopped herself again and looked up at him. His face was flushed a bright red.

"You know what, it doesn't matter. I'm glad you're feeling better."

He laughed a little nervously and followed her to the couch.

"Yeah…"

"Wanna watch a movie?" she proposed before he could say anything else.

He sunk into the couch beside her and nodded, seemingly as relieved as she was about the change in topic.

"Sure. I don't have anywhere to be."

"Is that all I am to you, Barry?" she asked, looking at him over her shoulder and giggling. "Someone to hang with when you have nothing better to do?"

His eyes widened, horrified by the conclusion she'd come to.

"What?" he squeaked. "No, Iris, of course not. Why would you say—"

But she was already leaning towards him, eager to tease further, her hand landing on his thigh in the process and slowly moving upward.

"Irisss," he slurred as she moved closer.

She stopped, suddenly very aware of her hand on his thigh and quickly pulled it back as if burned.

"Oh, my God." She scooted a couple inches away from him and refused to look anywhere but the blank space in front of her. "Oh, my God."

The silence between them was deafening and incredibly awkward.

"I don't know why I did that," she said quietly. "Sorry, Barry." She swallowed hard.

He cleared his throat. "It's okay." He reached forward the grab the TV remote out of her hands, but their fingers touched and the device dropped onto the floor, batteries spilling out. She gasped.

"Sorry," she whispered, her heart pounding in her ears. She was breathing heavily, embarrassed beyond belief, and could not figure out for the life of her why she'd not only started flirting with Barry when she had no reason to, but her hand had also been mere inches away from his crotch.

Barry got up from the couch, and she exhaled a sigh of relief. She closed her eyes and let her head fall back into the cushions. Maybe he would just leave. He could leave and come back hours from now, and they could just pretend this whole thing hadn't even happened.

But he didn't wait hours to come back. He was back in less than five minutes, offering her a glass of water. She took it reluctantly, amazed at herself for not also dropping that on the floor.

"So, are you going to see Felicity again?" she asked, so, so proud for being able to change the subject without a single crack in her voice.

Clearly aware of her need to do so, he didn't question the cheerfulness in her voice.

"Uh, no, I don't think so."

She turned her head towards him, her hair swishing with her.

"What?" She set the half-full glass of water down. "Why not? Did something happen? I thought she was really into you." Her eyebrows narrowed. "Barry Allen, please don't tell me she tried to ask you out and you shut her down."

"Not exac-"

"You deserve to be happy, Bear." She turned fully towards him and set her elbow on the back of the couch. "And you two are so alike. I know she could have made you happy. You could have made her happy. I just don't understand why you won't let yourself-"

"We kissed."

An unfamiliar little green monster propped up on her shoulder. She tried her best to mentally destroy it.

"Oh. I don't understand, then. Why aren't you guys going to try for something then?" She paused, thinking the situation over. "Is it the distance? I know Star City isn't exactly close."

He laughed lightly. "That could've been another thing, but no, that wasn't it."

She frowned. "Then what?"

He shrugged. "I'm in love with someone else."

Her heart skipped a beat. She squashed the feeling down quickly. It's not you, Iris.

"Bear!" She smacked his chest harder than necessary, mostly to remind herself that she had a boyfriend she had very strong feelings for and – apart from almost a full year in high school – had never even considered a romantic dalliance with her best friend, Barry Allen.

"What?" He laughed, rubbing the spot her hand had landed into lightly.

"You're in love with someone!" She straightened beside him. "How could you not tell me?" He opened his mouth, but no words emerged. "How long have you loved her?" she demanded.

"Well, uh…"

"A long time or is this recent?"

"Eh…"

"A long time," she finished for him, shaking her head. "Unbelievable, Barry Allen. Here you are in love with someone, and I, your best friend in the whole world, hadn't the slightest idea. I really think you should have taken me into your confidence, Bear. Obviously you've been too shy to ask her out. I could've helped you get there! We could be going on double dates right now!"

He grimaced. "Like the one from today?"

She cringed briefly. "Point taken." Then she shrugged it off. "But that was obviously just because you weren't with who you really wanted to be with! So, tell me, who's the lucky girl?"

His mouth opened but no sound came out.

"Don't tell me you're not gonna tell me."

"Well…"

"Did I not tell you months ago that you should be able to tell me about girls you like?"

"Yeah, but…"

"I know a lot has happened since then, but my assurance still stands. You shouldn't feel embarrassed. You should feel comfortable. I won't judge, I promise. If you like her, I will like her. Well, unless she doesn't treat you right. I don't care how hot or nerdy she is. She's not going to get away with mistreating my Bear when he's so head over heels in love with-"

And then his lips were on hers and, for a moment, she stopped breathing.

He didn't try to deepen the kiss, but he did linger before moving away, his eyes a mix of warmth, love, and absolute terror.

"Was that…" she cleared her throat to try and find her voice and keep it. "Was that just to shut me up or am I-"

He nodded. You. He didn't have to say it.

"Me?" She pointed towards herself. "I'm the one you…" the question hung in the silence between them.

"I've loved you for years," he admitted.

Her jaw hung open.

"I've wanted to tell you, but I was always too scared to. And I wasn't going to tell you now either, especially since you're taken, but…"

Taken. That's right, Iris. You're a taken woman. Don't forget that.

She took his face in her hands and kissed him back.

"Iris," he whispered, his breathing shallow. She didn't move away, just hung there, her nose brushing against his cheek.

What does this mean? What about Eddie? Do you love me too?

He had to be thinking those things. She knew he had to. But she didn't want to think about that now. She didn't want to analyze those thoughts or remember the fact that she had a boyfriend risking his neck somewhere outside these walls. All she knew was the blood pumping through her veins was for Barry. The excitement rising through her was for Barry. The longing and lust and desperation to fuck right in this moment…was for Barry. Because he was a catch, and a damn attractive one at that. And if he wanted her too, right now that was all she needed to know.

She climbed onto his lap and kissed him again. She breathed in deep and pulled herself closer, running her hands through his hair and teasing his tongue with hers.

"Barry," she purred, angling her head to kiss him deeper, then alternating to the other side of his mouth to taste him there.

Chills rippled up her back as she felt his hands move over the smooth fabric of her dress.

"Do it," she urged, and he did, pulling the dress up and over her head. She used his moment of awe as a distraction to rid him of his top and his belt buckle.

"Iris," he said again, as if he didn't know a single other word in the dictionary.

She smirked and leaned forward to kiss him again, once, twice, three times. Then she lowered her lips to his chin, his neck, his collar bone, down his chest, over his stomach, and then she was on the floor looking up at him as she unbuttoned and unzipped his pants. Her hand reached inside and lightly gripped the surface of his covered erection.

"Are you hard for me, Barry?"

He gulped, unable to look away.

She released him to stand up and rid herself of her undergarments. He was clearly dazzled, but he managed to watch her while also pushing off his pants and boxers too.

"I-I should get…should get a co-condom," he rasped, but she was on her knees again.

"Hold my hair, Barry," she whispered against his cock.

He caught his breath but did as he was told.

His cock twitched when she pressed one gentle kiss to the head of it. When she dragged her tongue from tip to base, Barry moaned loudly and gripped her hair tightly. Quick breaths followed when she took him into her mouth and gradually sucked the same path. The closer she got the more he moved beneath her, until her nose pressed against his groin and he was thrusting up into her as her tongue swirled around him.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," he cursed, clutching her hair in two hands.

She didn't choke. She didn't think much on it at the time, but in hindsight she patted herself on the back, because Barry's cock was no small thing, and she hadn't even—

A thought occurred to her.

But before she could dwell on it, she realized his thrusts were slowing and that could mean only one thing.

"No, no, no," she said, pulling off hurriedly. "You are not, not without—"

But before she could even stand up to go get a condom so her own lust could be satisfied, she saw a condom snugly fitted to his cock. She blinked, her brows furrowed, and she looked at him.

"What?" he asked, confused by her confusion.

"I just…didn't I just…didn't we…"

But he pulled her up onto his lap, kissed her slowly, and lowered her onto his erection before she could maintain enough logic to demand an answer to her questions.

She gasped when he filled her, shuddering as he lifted her up and down until she started to move on her own.

"Fuck, Barry," she barked roughly into his neck, sweat dripping from her skin to his, the slickness of it increasing their movements and their pleasure. "Faster," she demanded of him, but it was herself she felt moving quicker, harder, creating delirium in both of them. "Oh fuck, yes," she cried out. "Fuck, yes, yes!"

In an instant he was looming over her, fucking her missionary-style, pushing her body deeper into the cushions as she lay on her back. Her nails dug into his skin, her legs hooked around his waist. She pushed her hand against his ass to drive him harder.

If only she'd known how good he was at sex. If only she'd known the bumbling, awkward, adorably nerdy best friend of hers was this good at sex. If only she'd known.

Her breath was stolen from her as she arched up into him one last time, a cry louder than she could ever remember releasing in the throes of passion echoing throughout the room. Panting heavily, she slowly came down from her high.

"Oh, Barry," she murmured, pleasant satisfaction seeping into her bones.

She opened her eyes to look into his, to trace her fingers along the edges of his face and sift them through his sweaty hair and pull his head down onto her chest so they could just lay there for a while together and—

But Barry wasn't there when she opened her eyes. She wasn't even undressed. She sat up a little to see if he was around but there was no sign of him. What she was aware of was a thin layer of sweat on her skin and two of her fingers nestled between her thick folds in her panties. She slowly pulled them out, accidentally brushing over her incredibly sensitive clit. She gasped. Once the initial zap of sensation subsided, she pulled the skirt of her dress down over her now very much closed legs and sat up completely.

She forced her mind to think of other things.

Eddie. Dad. Eddie. Dad. CCPN. Crime. Investigation. Dad doesn't approve of Eddie. Dad doesn't approve of Eddie. I must fix this. I must stop this. He must approve of him, because I am not going to stop dating him, because I really like him. I really like Eddie. I am attracted to Eddie. Eddie is a part of my life now, and I…

She stood and found a sheen of moisture visible on the couch cushion. She grimaced and quickly wiped it away with a small towel she'd swiped from the kitchen.

"You are disgusting, Iris Ann West," she muttered. "You're mad at your dad, devoted to Eddie, and wanting nothing but Barry to find the girl of his dreams and be happy, and what do you do?" She groaned to herself as she headed up the stairs to take a shower. "You have a sex dream about him confessing that he's in love with you and then you proceed to…" She cut herself off and stepped under the hot, soothing water. But moments later, her wet dream played over in her mind, arousing her again.

She shook her head, aggravated.

"The hell, Iris."