Author's Note: My second chapter upload today - aren't you guys lucky. I would just like to thank my wonderful beta Madame Apathy for helping with this story :D. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Property of Stephenie Meyer, I am just burrowing the characters for a few minutes, hours, years... :P

Chapter Three

Bella's P.O.V

As Jake started to respond to my kiss, I realised it felt weird. I felt like I was betraying a part of myself by kissing Jake. It wasn't like his kiss was horrible, it was just different, his hotter than average lips felt unnatural against mine. I felt like I didn't belong with him. It felt wrong that his kisses weren't cold and unyielding as his had been. The heat of his lips didn't spark the same reaction in me as his icy ones once had. My heart did break into a sprint and I was overcome with the urge to pull him closer to me and never let go…

I couldn't do this to Jake he was my best friend and was leading him on, giving him hope that did not exist. It wasn't fair. It wasn't right. It made me just as bad as him. With that resolution firm in my mind I pulled away from Jake's embrace.

His breath was somewhat laboured; mine had remained the same. He stared at me with lust filled eyes, confusion plan on his face as I searched for the right words to explain my misguided actions. "Jake, I…" I trailed off not able to find the right words to say.

After a few minutes silence I still couldn't think of what to say, and found myself unconsciously biting my lip as I stared at him, hoping the right words would find me. Jake looked confused as my silence continued, his left eyebrow arched slightly, as he wordlessly asked what was going on. He didn't, however, give me the minutes I desperately needed to find the right words to say to him. Instead he closed the distance between us again, returning his lips to mine.

Again that weird feeling filled my conscious thought as his lips moved against mine almost burning them from the heat of his unnatural temperature. Unease filled my stomach and my skin felt uncomfortable, my whole body knowing this wasn't where I wanted to be. I had no choice but to push Jake back again.

Guilt filled me at the confusion and hurt on his face. How could I do this to my best friend? How could I put him through the same ordeal as I had been through? Even though I wouldn't leave him, it was still a rejection in its most hurtful form.

"Bella, what's going on?" Jake asked. Guilt filled my being again at the confusion I had caused him, I felt horrible for starting this, for giving him hope.

I knew what I had to do. I had started this, I had made the first move and I had to finish what I had started. I wasn't being fair to Jake; he had been there for me through all of this. I remember when we had gone to the cinema with Mike, that time when everyone else had stomach flu, and Mike being his usual self – not thinking before he opens his mouth – asked if I had heard for him. In that one moment my whole body had tensed Jake, sensing my distress, gave Mike a cold 'no' and clutched my hand tightly as he wordlessly reassured me. It was only fair that I was now there for him.

Instead of answering his question I kissed him again, forcing myself to relax and become part of the moment as his lips moved against mine. What harm could this do?