For the Sake of Art, Love, and Chocolate
First off I would like to thank Wicked Wonders for helping me with the right Japanese honorfics. That helped me a lot. I know I should of taken Japanese as my extra language but decided to take Chinese.
Second thank you to Jerryfrom Wonderland for pointing out my grammar and spelling mistakes in a nice way. I have spell check but apparently it still doesn't help me in that department. I promise to re-read my stories before I publish them so my bad grammar and spelling won't make your eyes bleed in frustration. Now on with the story!
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto (Not yet at least...Muhahaha)
Chapter 4: Guilty
(Deidara's PV)
"Ya and that is Mika-chan. She's Tobi's lab partner! Well along with Deidara-kun too." I looked over toward where Tobi was pointing; just in time to see her sneeze. Shorty was banging her head on the lunch table; while a blond girl with a ponytail tried to talk to her.
"That little bitch hit me with a football! But you should of seen her freakin' face when I called her a boy. She was as red as a fuckin' tomato," Hidan boasted.
"She put you in your place, though, Hidan." Kakuzu said in a bored tone. "You still owe me fifty bucks too." Hidan scowled; probably hoping that he had forgotten.
Kakuzu always had his mind on money. The words that Konan put on his t-shirt were so true; she had put 'Scrooge' without asking him, not like he really cared. Turning my attention to everyone else I knew why people thought we were a weird group of friends.
Konan was the only girl in our group. She had blue purple hair and eyes to match. She always had a white origami rose in her hair and a piercing under her lower lip. She was quiet but could be scary when she wanted to be. Her handmade t-shirt said 'Angel' on the back. She had a knack for making origami and was the girlfriend of Pein. Speaking of Pein, he had a bright orange hair color. He had a lot of piercings along the side of his nose and ears. His t-shirt said 'Leader' on the back. Then there was the only weird blue skinned fish face Kisame. He had sharp teeth and what looked like gills on either side of his face. His spiky blue hair just added another touch to his all together blue appearance. Konan had put the words 'Shark Man' on his shirt. The only quiet one at the table was Itachi. He was the older brother of Sasuke Uchiha. He put his long black hair in a loose ponytail; and people call me weird for having a ponytail! His face always seemed to remain emotionless and his eyes blank. He was smart and clever, though. Then of course there was Sasori and Tobi. Yup our group of friends weren't weird at all. Can you hear my sarcasm?
"Then, Mika-chan slapped Deidara-kun and started to yell at him! Tobi thought it was the funniest thing Tobi ever saw!" Tobi that idiot was telling everyone about that stupid squabble. Could that idiot not keep his mouth shut for one second?
"Wow, so this girl isn't effected by Deidara's so called charm?" Konan asked. She seemed quiet pleased about this; I guess since she kept telling me to find a steady girlfriend, but I like to play the field. I say your only in high school once so why not enjoy it; of course that ended with Konan slapping me in the head and calling me a womanizer.
"No one, not even Shorty, can resist my charms, un. Just wait she'll be eating out of the palm of my hand when I'm done with her, yeah." I smirked. I knew no girl, except the ones with a boyfriend, could resist the Deidara charm. That's why I had a group of fan girls and why girls were willing to date me. They thought one of them could break my womanizing ways but none of them could. I would get Shorty to fall for me hard then, I'd squish her heart. That's what she gets for picking a fight with me.
(Mika's PV)
"So, welcome to art class. I have no experience what so ever in art. You all can do whatever you want, as long as it has to do with art. At the end of each term you'll present to the class one of your works and you'll get an A. Simple? Okay now go do whatever."
Kakashi then reached down and started to read his book. Well, this would be an eventful year in art. I was content though, I could work on my project without any disturbance. I sat down with my sketch pad and looked out the window. The class had a beautiful view of the school courtyard. I decided I would sketch this scene and then transfer it onto a painting. The noise of the wood shop in the next room was very loud. I couldn't concentrate and it bothered me.
I'll just use my Ipod and drown out the noise. Music always calms me down.
I put my Ipod on and put the volume up to the highest. I clicked shuffle and Geisha Dreams by Rollergirl came on. This was my favorite song and I started to hum the words as I started to draw.
Empty heart and empty soul
A lover on remote control
All colors fade to gray
The more they play this love charade
Why don´t you see, why don´t you feel that love is free?
Ichi-gi ichi-go
All alone in Tokyo
Don´t you see? Don´t you know?
They have nowhere else to go
Ichi-gi, ichi-go
Far away from Tokyo
They believe
In Geisha Dreams
Perfect body and perfect smile
An illusion for a while
Born to love and trained to please
And paid to put your mind at ease
But don´t you see, but don´t you feel that love is free?
Ichi-gi ichi-go
All alone in Tokyo
Don´t you see? Don´t you know?
They have nowhere else to go
Ichi-gi, ichi-go
Far away from Tokyo
They believe
In Geisha Dreams
All your love and hopes and dreams
All you feel down deep inside aint´t real
Don´t count for anything
Cause Geisha dreams aren't meant to be
Why don´t you see, why don´t you feel that love is free?
Ichi-gi ichi-go
All alone in Tokyo
Don´t you see? Don´t you know?
They have nowhere else to go
Ichi-gi, ichi-go
Far away from Tokyo
They believe
In Geisha Dreams
I felt a tap on my shoulder. Ugh, I felt annoyed; I don't like people bothering me when I'm drawing. I looked up and was slightly surprised to see Deidara looking down at me. He had a slight smirk on his face. What in the world did he want from me?
"What?" I asked in a bored tone. Really if this guy wanted to harass me he could do it later.
"I just wanted to see what your doing, un. Is it a crime or something, hmm?"
"I'm drawing your baka. See I have a sketch pad out and a pencil?" I waved them in front of his face. How stupid could this guy be?
"You call that art, un? That's not art; I know art, yeah."
"Really and what is true art Mr. I-Know-Everything?" I rolled my eyes.
Deidara gestured me to follow him and walked to his station. I noticed clay animals on his table. Some of them were small while others were big. I was so not impressed, okay maybe a little but no way was I going to tell him that.
"This is art, un. I make things out of clay. Animals, objects, whatever I feel like, un. This is a work of art; not some ugly little drawing on a piece of flimsy paper, yeah." He wore a smug expression on his face and looked at me. He waited for my reaction. Was I suppose to be impressed or something?
Wait, did he just say my drawing was ugly? What a jerk! My drawings aren't ugly; his clay is ugly. I wonder how much clay I could shove down his throat?
"If your wondering if I'm impressed, I'm not. Anyone can make clay animals, I could do it when I was 8 years old. You lack imagination; you have little to no talent at all!" I snapped at him. Okay, so maybe not the nicest thing to say to him but still he insulted my art work. If looks could kill, I bet everyone in a fifty mile radius of him would drop dead.
"I have a passion for art, un. You don't seem to have one; listening to your music while working, yeah! Your just drawing useless pictures of nothing, un!" He blew up in my face. I thought that his head would do a 360 or something.
"HELLO, EVER HEARD OF A ROUGH DRAFT? THIS IS ONLY A SKETCH YOU BAKA; I'M GONNA PAINT IT! IT WILL LOOK BETTER THAN YOUR UGLY CRAP!" With that I stormed away. Kakashi was too into his perverted book to bother with us. Now I was really angry; couldn't he be nice for once? I didn't feel like drawing the school courtyard any more. For the rest of the class I just grumbled to my self.
"Mika, sweetie, how was your first day?" Auntie Mo hugged me and looked expectantly at me. What could I tell her; that I picked a fight with some womanizing jerk and that I wanted to go to my old home.
"It was great Auntie Mo. I met a lot of friends and I really like the school." I lied to her. Well, I did meet a lot of new friends but I didn't like the school. I could see her relax when I told her this. She was worried that I would hate it here and I didn't want to hurt her feelings. Auntie Mo was trying her hardest to look after me.
After dinner I went to my room and flopped onto my bed. The first day I didn't get work which was a good thing. I was so tired, my legs ached from the bike ride back and forth. I just wanted to sleep and forget about my horrible day. The only thing that I looked forward to was seeing my new friends. Kiba had told me that track tryouts were tomorrow after school; I was so definitely trying out. I loved to run, feeling the wind whip my face and letting all my worries and fears blow away. I snuggled under the covers and closed my eyes.
It was dark and cold. I looked around trying to find out where I was. I was under water. I couldn't see anything and the water seeped into my clothes. I couldn't seem to reach the surface of the water; I kept being tossed around by the rough waves. I looked frantically for my parents. We were on a a boat. This was suppose to be a fun trip. Something went wrong with the engine and it blew up. The boat tipped over in the rough waters. I was alone. I caught the sight of long red hair. It was my mom. I swam toward her yelling for her. When I got to her, though, my heart stopped. Her blue eyes stared at me; they were dull. Her skin was so pale her and her mouth was open like she was screaming something. My name. Her lower half of her body was caught under something heavy. I wanted to scream. Where was dad? I looked frantically around and saw him. His short black hair floated above him while his brown eyes stared at nothing. Then I heard a voice.
"Mika? Mika where are you?" The voice was the voice of my mom and dad, but it sent shivers down my back. It was like a snake's hiss.
"Mom, dad? Are you here? Your not dead are you?" Maybe the people I saw were not my parents but people who looked like them.
"We're dead Mika. It's all your fault. You could of saved us." The whispers go louder. I couldn't believe it. I had killed my parents. If I hadn't insisted on renting this crappy boat then we wouldn't of ended up like this.
"No...NO! I'm sorry I-I didn't know!" I could feel tears streaming down my face. The body of my parents had some how ended up next to me. I flinched when my mom and dad touched me. their hands were as cold as ice. Then they smiled; I gasped seeing the row of sharp teeth and the twisted smiles they gave me.
"It's time you paid the price for killing us. You never thought a second about what could happened to us. You will learn your lesson. Spending the rest of your life under the water with us" The whispers were right in my ears and it hurt me to hear them. I screamed. I screamed for the death of my parents; for killing them. It was all my fault; I had killed them. Their hands tugged my arms and started to drag me down. I tried to fight but my movements were too slow under water. I looked down and saw nothing. It was completely black except I saw something. They were dead bodies; I was so scared.
"Why? i thought you said you loved me and nothing bad would happen?"
"We lied Mika. Who could ever love a wicked girl like you? No one could love a killer!"
"NO!"
I sat up in bed holding my head. I hated myself. I've been having that dream ever since the accident. I keep telling my self that I didn't kill my parents but I still didn't believe it. I had wanted to take the boat even though dad had said it might have problems. Mom had said the sea looked rough but I convinced them. It was all my fault; Auntie Mo never blamed me for the death of her older sister. She said it was an accident. I still felt so guilty, though.
Ever since then I've been afraid of water; afraid to swim again or go on a boat. I don't go to the beach and if I do I stay far away from the water. I'm even afraid of the pool and always made an excuse not to go in. My friends got tired of me; not wanting to go swimming. They just didn't understand why I was so afraid. They never had to deal with the guilt I felt. After, I changed I started to give up on myself. Only one thing kept me going; kept me trying to act normal Then, even that disappeared in my life.
I looked at my clock. It was only 3 AM. I sighed and got up. I went down stairs and made myself some mint tea. This always calmed me down after a nightmare. Auntie Mo came down and looked at me. Seeing the steaming cup of tea she knew.
"Couldn't sleep honey?"
"No...I dreamed again." I said the last part quietly. She came over and gave me a hug. I couldn't help but feel the tears threatening to fall. I promised myself I would't cry anymore. She rubbed my back for a while.
"Thanks, Auntie Mo."
"Not at all Mika. You know I'm always here for you. So, are you finally going to tell me about this nightmare you seem to always have?" I had never really told her the details of this dream. This time, though, I felt like I had to; no I wanted her to know. So I told her everything. After, I finished she was quiet and I sipped my tea.
"Mika, it isn't your fault. You didn't know that this would happen. I don't blame you for Yumi's death and I highly doubt your parents would of wanted you to feel like this. Sweetie, it was their time to go; you can't hold onto something forever." I just nodded at her. Still I felt like I was responsible. I washed my mug and said goodnight again. Slipping under my covers I still couldn't shake the feelings of guilt. I fell asleep; it wasn't a peaceful sleep. One sentence kept going through my mind.
It's all your fault.
I woke up to the sound of my phone. My alarm hadn't even gone off. I reached for my phone and saw I had a text.
Mika-chan, Tobi is going to drive you to school.
-Tobi
Um, okay. Just honk your horn when you're here. Thanks.
-Mika
Well, I didn't feel like riding my bike to school today so might as well let Tobi drive me. I got up still feeling tired. I decided I needed a cold shower. After taking my shower I definitely felt awake. Drying my hair with a towel I looked at the clothes I had put out for today. A pair of baggy cargo pants and an over-sized sweatshirt. Hidan's comment about me looking like a guy kept going through my head. I decided to change my outfit; I'll show him. I put on a white tank and a blue fitted scoop neck sweatshirt. The sleeves came up to my elbows. I wore faded blue cuffed jeans. I grabbed my running shorts, a t-shirt, and my running shoes and threw them in my gym bag. I slipped on my black Converse and headed down to the kitchen.
I looked in the freezer trying to figure out what to eat. I was tempted to have some mango flavored mochi but Auntie Mo would of had a fit. I grabbed a frozen waffle and put it in the toaster. I made some passion plum tea for myself and strong black coffee for Auntie Mo. Auntie Mo came down and sat at the counter. I was putting my, still wet, hair up in two braids. My fingers brushed over cool metal. I had forgotten about my extra piercings I got. I had two small gold loops in the upper part of my right ear. One had a sapphire and the other a ruby; my mother and father's birth stones. I got them two days after the funeral and Auntie Mo had a fit when she found out. I was pulled out of my thoughts when I heard a car honk. Jeez, Tobi was way too early for school.
"I have to go. One of my friends is giving me a ride." I grabbed my waffle and drank the rest of my tea. Giving Auntie Mo a kiss I went for the door.
"Oh ya, I have track tryouts today, so I'll be home late." I yelled to her as I opened the door.
"Have fun Sweetie." When I looked out I had to shade my eyes. Tobi's car was bright orange. I mean really bright; like a neon sign bright. I opened the passenger door and put my backpack and gym bag on the floor. I buckled up and started to eat my waffle as Tobi took off.
"Good morning Mika-chan! Tobi thought you would like a ride to school. Tobi will give you a ride to school everyday so we can talk."
"Uh, no need to give me a ride everyday Tobi. It's sweet of you, though." I gave him a smile as I finished my waffle. Tobi chatted about random things and I just listened. He had a lot of energy in the early morning. We arrived at the school and I noticed that very few people were here. Tobi decide we should sit in the courtyard and wait. It was very quiet when no one was around. Tobi soon fell asleep and I just stared off into space. I kept thinking about the nightmare I had. My mind went back to last summer, when the accident happened. No matter how long I had to get over my mom and dad's death I would always, in some way, feel guilty.
Well this was a long chapter. I didn't realize how long it was because I had gotten so into writing it. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Thanks again to Wicked Wonders and Jerryfrom Wonderland for helping me improve my story and writing. Thanks to everyone who is reading my story.
Please Review.
Kitkat d(^.^)b