"Seph, ya like rides. Why ain'tcha lookin' around?" The therapist had suggested that Reno take Sephiroth places, try to expose him to more people in hopes of changing his reputation, changing how he looked at things. It didn't do a very good job of making him feel good about himself. As a matter of fact, it did the opposite. He didn't want to move from the bench he'd taken in front of the carnival games. He had his head held down, long silver sheet of hair down over his face as he tried to do his best to be ignored.

Ignored he wasn't. People wandered by, gaping with wide open mouths at the fallen general, some children pointing and their mothers slapping their hands down and then lifting them, shuffling off with them before green eyes could be cast upward in their direction. Reno wasn't sure if Sephiroth even heard him over the people that were talking around them. "I knew this shit was a bad idea, yo. I knew I shouldn'ta listened to that stupid shrink… Shit, Seph, let's just go."

Sephiroth wouldn't move from the bench though, just hugged himself tighter. Reno had to physically lean in and snag his arm, jerk hard. Green eyes turned up toward him and looked sad. Reno had expected anger or something else similar to said emotion, but the raw hurt he saw in those emerald orbs seemed to pack the issue down a little more. "Seph, babe, let's go home. Please? C'mon, we don't need this shit. We just need'ta get home and snuggle up in bed an' be warm."

The general didn't say a word, just stood up and let Reno lead him toward the exit of the amusement park.

**********

There were days when he didn't want to open his eyes. Sephiroth was forced to, though. Reno forced him to open his eyes, forced him to get up out of bed, forced him to move around and do the things that were set before him to do, in hopes of 'normalizing' him, as the psychiatrist had put it. He'd been placed on medication, but really he didn't want it. He'd chosen to stop taking it, though he was always sure to make sure he put it in his mouth and swallowed.

After awhile, Reno got smart with that when his sour moods didn't improve. Those were the times when Sephiroth was forced to swallow the medication and then later choke them back up into the toilet when Reno wasn't around. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't, but it left the silver one empty of everything. It felt like every time he threw up, a little piece of his soul that was left over went right along with it when he flushed.

**********

Reno sighed. "Sephiroth... Why ain'tcha gettin' better, babe?" He stroked those silver strands of hair back out of the general's face, leaning in to kiss smooth forehead. "Ya ain't gettin' better and I dunno why. I'm doin' everythin' I can... Why don'tcha get better? I dunno how much longer I can take this. I dunno how much longer I can stand t'sit by and watch it. Why don'tcha do what ya need t'do to get better?"

Sephiroth never told him why he didn't want to get better. The silver one rarely talked anymore. There were hardly any 'yes's or 'no's even. There was no communication from his side of the relationship, as if he'd given up, and Reno didn't like that. "If ya keep this shit up, I'ma have ya committed. Y'know what they're gonna do if I have ya locked up?" He pressed his nose into those long strands of hair, taking in the scent of elegance. Sephiroth had always been elegance, had never been anything but until recently.

"They're gonna make ya take the meds, stronger meds. They'll make ya high as a kite and I know ya dun wanna be a zombie, do ya?" When he didn't get an answer, he closed his eyes and nestled his nose against his charge's ear. "I need ya t'get better. Please get better."

Reno had learned that elegance was fleeting.

**********

"Mister?" Sephiroth was stirred out of his thoughts when he felt a small hand tug on his trench coat. Turning his eyes from their position of having been locked in a mindless stare at a far off building, he glanced down at the little one that was doing the jerking. "Mister? Mister, you're General Sephiroth, aren't you?" The startled man wasn't quite sure what to say, but he knew he didn't want to be there right then. He started to walk away, but the little hand remained in his trench coat, jerking again. "Mister, my brother served under you."

He froze in his spot, a lump forming in his throat. He turned to the little girl and stared down at her, surprised to see a smile. It was the first one he'd seen in over a year directed toward him from someone besides Reno. It was sincere. It made the military man's heart hurt. "Mister, I have a picture of him. Will you sign it? He died serving. But he was really proud." He felt the touch of glossy paper against his hand as the child held the picture up, nudging. She obviously carried it with her wherever she went. What an innocent, ignorant little child...

Sephiroth took the picture and the pen that she offered, looking down at the angelic face once more. She beamed, practically glowed with the light of childhood. He sickened himself. With a heavy heart and a hand that hadn't written in a long time, he signed his name on the back of the military photograph as well as he possibly could, then turned it over to look at the youth. He'd been very young, around eighteen or nineteen, with sharp cheek bones and a lopsided smile. The helmet he wore was tipped backward and he was happy. Guilt ate away at his insides as he stared into the dead soldier's eyes. He handed the child the photograph and squatted next to her, reached out and touched the top of her head.

"Your brother was a brave soldier. He was a good man. Always remember that."

The girl's face cracked into a proud smile and she released a giggle that Sephiroth could've compared to that of an angel's. "He's waiting on me in heaven! Did you see him while you were gone?"

"Clara! Come this INSTANT!" A woman that looked nothing like the little girl, and the general realized that it wasn't her child. There were other children tagging along that looked nothing like her. She was an orphan.

**********

"Why ain't ya eatin', Seph?"

**********

"Why do you not relate well to other people, General? Do you not feel important enough to express your emotions?"

**********

"Why-"

"Why?"

"WHY?!"

The word dulled his mind, picked at his soul, made it want to fester and burst. Sephiroth was tired of wondering why.

He was tired of being asked why.

He was tired of the world of why and why not and why come and why go and why why why why why-

**********

"Seph. Talk to me. Please… Babe, wake up. Please wake up, Sephiroth."

He tried to. He was in a fog, couldn't understand what was going on. He felt the prick of a needle in his arm, felt something else, saw a light shining in his eyes. He heard several different voices, and all of them sounded clinical, medical.

"Arsenic?"

"Where the hell do you buy arsenic these days?" Sephiroth felt the corners of his lips pull up slightly in a smile. Where indeed? Thirty three ways existed. He'd counted.

He winced internally when the female medic piped up. "But… why?"

He fell into unconsciousness as they transported him to the hospital.