The Darkest of my Days

Jules POV

" Wait he sent you to hell!?" Dean said.

He got up and stood beside me.

" Yeah, the whole time I was down there I thought about what will happen to the rest of the world? What would happen to Cas? I was in hell for what seemed like years but were probably only months. Then I met Alistar, and he put me on the rack. I was on the rack for at least three weeks when he offered me a deal. He said I could come off of the rack if I would torture other people that were also on the rack. At first I said no, but that only lasted five months. I-I just couldn't take it anymore. He would rip me apart in ways I wouldn't even imagine possible, and then when I though it was over, when I though all the pain and suffering was over I would be back again just as good as new. Then Alistar would start the process all over again. So I said yes, I told him I would torture other people. So he took me off."

I was completely sobbing now. I couldn't control it. Dean put his hand on my back.

" So I starting torturing people, innocent people! Then one day Alistar came in with the biggest smirk on his face. He shoved someone with a bag over their head onto the metal table. He slowly took the bag off. Then when I realized who it was I started to run. He caught up to me of course. I told him there is no way I can torture her. He told me he would put me back on the rack and make it ten times more painful. I told him I didn't care. So he threatened me, he told me if I didn't do this that my sister and brother would be sent to hell. I could not imagine them down here going threw the same pain as me. They are so much younger then me. So I did it I tortured her! And he sat there and laughed the entire time. She never stopped screaming for me to stop. Oh I` m such a terrible person! I belong in hell!"

Dean stood in front of me and looked me straight in the eyes.

" You are not a terrible person. You were trying to help other people. You were trying to be good. And whatever Alistar made you do it` s ok. You were forced to do it, you had no choice."

" No it` s not ok! The thing I did was inexcusable! I can never be forgiven for that!"

" Look I` m sure whoever it was, whether it was a friend, or relative, or even your ex, they will understand and they will forgive you."

" No she is too young to understand why I did it all she knows is that a person that she trusted and cared for the most hurt her. She will never forget that."

" Who is it? Who did he make you torture?"

" No I can` t tell you, you` ll think I am a monster!"

" No I promise you I won` t. Just tell me!"

" It- it was my-my daughter!! I tortured my own daughter!"