Time went by faster than the New Yorkers anticipated, as one day flowed into the next. Days easily became weeks as Central Park burst from green to red, as autumn settled itself into the city. In practically a blink, a month had passed since a certain commander zoo animal had discovered his two older soldiers sharing a bunk and had ordered his men to keep doing it. Rico, the weapon's expert of the team, didn't seem to mind the situation much as he had instantly fell into slumber night after night; he had become quite fond of his new teddy.

It had taken Kowalski a little longer to get over sharing his personal space, it had taken many nights of weighing the facts to convince himself there was nothing weird about two friends sharing a bunk.

While there were still nights when the scientist found himself uneasy and frozen all over again when a flipper would slip too far down or a roaming foot ended up in places it shouldn't have, he quickly learned that a Rico in slumber tends to stay in slumber, and he could easily re-situate any invading appendages without waking him. It was nights such as those that he had slight relapses and his brain would scream at him that oh YES this was weird, you bet it was ALL KINDS of weird.

However, on most nights, he had to admit, if only to himself, that he might actually miss the presence sharing his bed, should Skipper call off their arrangement. It was fascinating the calming effects a warm body had on the mind.

Even if it happened to be the body of a world-class psychopath.

And during that month, Rico had left Kowalski alone more and more to work in his lab; while some time away from it was certainly a good thing, too much time away from inventing tended to leave the guy kind of cranky and more snippy than usual. That wasn't to say the day in the park had been their last shared moment. Kowalski found himself spending more time outside his lab than he'd ever had before, and for once, of his own accord. Of course, it was mostly due to the discovery he tended to sleep better at night when he was physically tired, and when the day's drills and missions just weren't enough to do that, he could always count on Rico to find something that would inevitably exhaust him.

They had gotten much better at exiting the bunk in a non-clumsy way, as well, as was evident the morning all for commando penguins shot out of bed, landing on the concrete floor in classic battle-ready formation, after cries for help rang throughout the zoo.

"What the- was that the Ring-tail?"

"I think it was, Skippah! He sounds like he's in a spot of trouble, doesn't he..."

"... Kowalski, options? Ones that involve forgetting we heard that and going back to bed would be nice."

"Well, um... I suppose, hypothetically, we could go with that option... although it's probably not the most justified route to take."

Another cry for help ripped through the blissful early-morning silence.

"Buuut, on the other hand..." he began scribbling on his notebook. "I suggest noise-cancelling earmuffs." he held up his notepad, which had a crude drawing of said earmuffs on it, tapping it with the end of his pencil.

Private looked concerned, because looking concerned was one of the young cadet's specialities. "We can't do that, can we? Julien could really be hur-"

"UHHG! I KNOW!" Skipper threw his flippers up in defeat. "Let's move out, boys."

There was little room for doubt about the day being interesting and possibly fraught with danger, after the yelling had led them to the kangaroo habitat.

"Now now, Joey, let's not be too rash. King Julien didn't know what he was saying! He's just got a bad case of the stupid, is all.."

"Maurice! How can you be saying these things in your king's time of neediness!"

The penguins were bewildered by the scene before them. Not only by the fact that the kangaroo habitat was completely flooded, filled halfway to the top with pool toys scattered all about,but also by the fact that the home's owner was stuck right in the middle of the makeshift pond- atop his waist- as he held the lemur ruler in his grip.

Skipper was beyond confused, as he addressed the ones involved.

"What in the name of Yuansu's bow is going on here?! Joey-Explain!"

The kangaroo in question spared only a passing glare at the penguins, before his attention was back on Julien, but he answered anyway. Sort of.

"Oi! Joey doesn't take orders from you!" he shot back. Skipper shrugged.

"Fair enough. Ring-tail! Explain!"

The lemur was currently being suspended by the tail, and he struggled to get into a position where he could look at Skipper.

"Not that it is being any of your business, Mister Bossy Penguin, but I was TRYING to make my new, super amazing, super big, and super kingly swimming pool. I was thinking about having this really cool slide, right over there, see?"

The lemur twisted around to point over by the tree that was half submerged. Skipper raised a brow.

"A swimming pool? In the kangaroo habitat? Have you gone MAD?"

"Um, excuse you, but I think you be meaning my habitat, slash super-awesome-swimming-pool. As king, everything is belonging to me!"

There was an angry growl from the kangaroo, and he wound up to throw the lemur. "Oh yeah?! Well own THIS, why doncha?"

Julien screamed as he skidded across the water, both the penguins and Maurice cringed as he crashed into the side of the habitat. Mort looked on with wide eyes.

"Ohh, that looks ouchy..."

Joey began treading water towards the injured animal, albeit slowly due to being mostly submerged in water. "Joey's gonna ring your stubby little neck! Just as soon as he gets over there!"

Maurice bounded over to the penguins in a panic. "You gotta DO something! That guy's gonna cream King Julien! ... Eventually!"

"The question is, " the head penguin said as he rubbed his chin in thought, " Is that really a bad thing?"

Private looked horrified at the line of inquiry.

"Skipper….please tell me you're joking, sir. We can't just leave Julien to be smashed and possibly drowned by Joey! ...Even if he might actually deserve it a little."

"Oh, put away the sad eyes, Private." He rolled his eyes as he waved off his officer's concern. "We aren't going to just let the marsupial drown his royal pain-in-the rear….Not much, anyway.

"Alright, Kowalski, give me options."

The analyst quickly took out his notepad as he began to scribble down potential ideas for his leader. Kowalski's pencil moved over the page rapidly, as he finished up the sketch to show off to the others.

"Well, to solve the problem we might want to go to the source of it- the pool. I recommend removing the water. Hypothetically, it might please our anger prone Australian friend enough that he won't wish to hurt the lemur." Kowalski paused, " Or, at the very least, Julien won't drown. That's a start."

Skipper nodded in approval. "Sounds like a solid plan. Rico?"

Rico happily coughed up a stick of dynamite, and prepared to hop off of the wall, but stopped when Kowalski spoke up again. "Actually, Skipper... while theoretically we could breach the habitat wall and drain it that way, flooding the rest of the zoo in the process miiight just cause even more problems." he paused once again to pull out a map of the underground sewer system, from where no one knew or cared to ask. "I suggest digging a drain leading straight into the sewers under the zoo."

No one noticed the lack of groaning from a certain explosive psychopath at not getting to use any firepower. In fact, no one noticed he was smiling, either; not even Rico himself was aware he was smiling, as he watched the team genius trace a flipper tip along the map, outlining the best route for the drain.

Suddenly Maurice was panicking again. "Uh, guys? I don't mean to sound impatient or anything over here, but now would be a REALLY good time to do something... ANYTHING!" And indeed Joey had just about made it to the unconscious lemur.

"Private, Kowalski! Commence Operation: Lemur Keep Away, go!"

Private dove into the makeshift pool, rocketing toward Julien, coming up underneath and grabbing him away just before the angered 'roo reached for him, and hopped up onto the habitat wall once more, now holding a sopping wet king. Joey growled and struck out again, and the young recruit spun around and tossed him as hard as he could, and the limp body went sailing over Joey's head, where it was caught by Kowalski on the other side.

Rico was still smiling. Huh, that had been a pretty nice catch. It amazed him from time to time just how strong Kowalski was, for a guy who supposedly spent a good deal of his time exercising his brain and not much else.

The moths in Rico's stomach that he didn't remember swallowing began fluttering around again at that moment, and he socked himself hard in the stomach to quiet them down. "HUH-OOF!"

"Rico! You're on drain duty."

"Hah? Oh! Yeah okay, 'ou beh."

He horked up his drill-helmet and secured it atop his head, jumping in and diving to the habitat floor to begin the drain.

Meanwhile, Skipper felt a rare bolt of panic as Joey didn't bother going after Julien again, and instead swiped up Private. It didn't take long before Private was dropped, as the marsupial began flailing, struggling in a mad fury to get the penguin commander off of his head.

"Oh no ya don't, ya big floppy Easter Bunny! Leave the boy alone and take on a REAL man!"

Skipper used his body to cover the larger mammal's eyes as the kangaroo began to wildly swipe his arms through the air.

"'Ey! Joey can't see none! Get off, ya anklebiter!"

"Jokes on you," the lead penguin said smugly, as he dodged the fist that was coming at him, as the australian animal punched himself in the face, " but penguins don't HAVE teeth! Kowalski! Private! Defensive maneuver ' Synchronize'!"

The analyst had just finished handing off the lemur king to his loyal subjects, Maurice fanning him to wake him up as Mort began hugging his feet, when he heard his avian commander shout his orders. Kowalski quickly dived backwards, before swiftly swimming to the other penguins. The kangaroo looked beyond confused as the three birds began swimming around him, like sharks ready to attack their prey.

"Ya think somethin' like your silly swimming is goin' to scare Joey? Ha!"

Joey's laughter was cut short when Skipper shot up from the water and headbutted him in the chest. The large mammal "oofed" as he was winded. He glared as he went to swipe at his attacker, when Private shot out of the water and headbutted him as well. Penguin after penguin did this, taking turns as Joey tried to get his mitts on one of them.

Eventually, Joey's movements became less sluggish, and the penguins began losing leverage as the water level began to fall. The three aquatic birds took this as a sign that the mission had been completed, and following a silent mime command from Skipper, they ceased their assault and flipped up onto the wall once more with ease. Rico joined them seconds after, slipping out from under a manhole cover, smelling lightly of raw sewage.

Joey was left standing in a soggy, but water-free habitat, dripping wet and still angry... though notably less angry than before. "'Ay! What about this hole?! Joey could break his neck steppin' into that thing!"

Rico returned long enough to barf up a clod of dirt into the hole, tamping it down with his foot. "'Eru go."

The team of penguins frowned as the king made it clear he was fine and awake. Mort was roughly kicked off of the royal feet as he began to yell.

"What happened to my marvellous pool, Maurice?!"

Skipper sighed loudly. "Get Ring-tail OUT of here, would ya?"

Maurice began tugging him away toward their own habitat. "Come on, King Julien, time to go home..."

"No, I will NOT be coming on! I am wanting my kingly pool, and that is being the finally thing!"

There was a squelching sound as Joey began stomping after the lemurs again.

"Um, actually, now I am thinking the otter habitat might make a better one. You know, more roomy, and less..."

"Hurty?"

"Mort, shut up, okay?"

"Okay!"

And with that said, the lemurs scurried off as they were nearly swiped at by the kangaroo as he made it to the wall. He looked quite pleased with himself to see them gone, before throwing a mild glare over at the team of flightless birds that had rescued his home.

"You still here? Scram before I show you lot a REAL wallop!"

"No need for the testosterone, Bigfoot, we're outta here. You heard the mammal, men, time to skedaddle. We got morning drills before the kiddies get here."

The rest of the morning went by normal routine, as the penguins did their laps around the pool and morning sparring session. The avian commander was even filled with joy as he surprised his men with an unwarranted round of hot potato. Skipper took mental note how his brood was willing to sink to new lows in order to escape the bomb blowing up in their faces….and he liked it. Even innocent Private found himself willing to sacrifice niceties in order to remain explode-free.

Boy had the makings of a great soldier.

Ten rolled around fast, and Skipper's officers were relieved when their leader had to smother the wick of the bomb currently in play. School buses were already letting off children in front of the gates, as teachers began to rally them into some sort of organized fashion. Field trips may have been the bane of Alice's existence...but the zoo residents happened to be fond of all the extra attention.

A few hours had gone by, and the penguins were happily showing off their tricks to the children as the zookeeper was listlessly telling the kids about them. Skipper was in the middle of miming for his men to begin their synchronized swimming routine, when he overheard two juvenile humans over by the otter habitat chat loudly amongst themselves.

"That's a REALLY weird looking otter."

"Yeah, looks nothing like the other one. Though, kinda cool that it's wearing a hat."

"Kinda reminds me of my mom. Think the black and white one is the girl otter?"

"No doubt!"

Skipper was beyond suspicious. 'Black and white'? 'Wearing hats'? What the deuce, man? After Alice had finished explaining that male penguins are the main caretaker of the babies, she started leading the children to the next habitat. Giving a quick look around, the leader of the squad leaned in towards his men to whisper.

"Alright, boys, papa bird needs to fly the coupe for a minute or so. I think there might be something up over at the otter exhibit, and my gut is telling me to investigate. If any humans come by, keep them busy until I get back. Kowalski, you're in charge."

Kowalski saluted and failed to conceal the grin on his beak. "Aye-aye, Skipper!"

The inconspicuous bush was shocked to find the lemurs had supposedly taken over Marlene's habitat. Alright, so maybe not shocked, maybe more like annoyed with a side of gas; he'd suspected they'd head over here-mostly after Julien said they were- but he'd been wrong to assume Marlene would put up some kind of resistance, it seemed.

Skipper shed his shrubbery disguise and hopped out into the open, after spotting the habitat's owner hanging out by the side of the pool. Marlene turned and offered a wide smile at seeing her "undercover lover". "Skipper, hey! Youmphr uph-"

A flipper was pressed to her mouth, muffling her words before shutting her up. "Say no more, Marlene, I'll rid your home of its unfortunate lemur infestation in two shakes of a tail feather!"

A paw caught his flipper and Marlene was shaking her head. "What, no! No, see, they're guests, Skipper, not enemies. Guests."

Skipper wrinkled his beak. "Guests? Marlene, you can't be serious... it's the lemurs!"

The otter in front of him snorted before turning to gesture to Julien, who stood atop her water slide, grinning like the moron Skipper knew him to be. "Look at that guy. Go ahead, take a gooood look. Does that look like the face of a guy who wants anything but to have a good time?"

"Marlene, those were the exact last words of Johnson … or was it Manfredi? Anyway, it landed one or both of them in the stomach of a five-hundred pound grizzly bear."

Marlene stared at him in silence for a few moments. "Riiiight. Fine look, the kids love him!"

The penguin was taken aback. "Kids?!"

Julien rocketed down the slide, successfully back flipping twice before jack knifing into the water below. The human children watching cheered and laughed.

"See? Ah? Ahh?" Marlene coaxed. Skipper did not look impressed.

"I'm still not buying it. If you were being held hostage, and were unable to verbally tell me you needed my assistance, a simple wink would suffice. Just, putting that out there." said Skipper, offering a wink of his own.

"I am NOT his hostage! Why can't you- waaaiiit. Skipper, you're not, oh I don't know, jealous, are you?"

The penguin's jaw dropped for a moment, before he righted it with a glare.

"Jealous? Me? Of Ring-tail? What is there to be jealous of? Of being a prancy rear shaking idiotic mammal? Uh-uh. No, missy, I ain't 'jealous'."

Marlene crossed her arms, looking unimpressed.

"Uh-huh. Then what's the problem here, honey?"

Skipper was prepared to list a bazillion reason why this whole plan wasn't kosher. And at least a hundred and three of those reasons were just for the fact it was King Julien, let alone the things he could do to accidentally hurt his girlfriend or possibly destroy her home. But with the utterance of the sickly sweet nickname, the flightless bird found his arguments dying before they could hit his vocal cords.

Sentimentality struck again! Curse the otter! And curse his feelings! ….Maybe it wasn't too late to convince Kowalski to remove those…

Skipper coughed to clear his throat, as he looked away- this time his own flippers crossed.

"Alright. Fine. You do whatever you want. But I'm telling you, Marlene, my gut tells me this ain't gonna end pretty. And in all my years, even during the sasquatch war of '82, my gut hasn't failed me yet."

The otter leaned towards her paramour, confident that they were hidden enough from the viewing public, when she placed a kiss on the side of the penguin's beak. She remained close, even afterwards, as she grasped onto his flipper in comfort.

"It's okay, Skipper. And it will continue to BE all right. I mean...it's just letting Julien use my pool. No big. What could go wrong?"

Skipper shot her a sharp look at that moment. "Marlene, do you really want to open THAT can of worms? I'll have you know I have thought through and documented every possible thing that could ever go wrong in any scenario. Including this one. We'd be here all night! And possibly the next day."

Marlene shook her head. "Hello, rhetorical question. Just relax, would you? It'll be fine, you'll see!"

The commando penguin suddenly back flipped away, which likely would have startled anyone else, but this otter was used to such things by now. "Oh, I'll see, alright! I'll be watching..." he began slowly backing away, waving his flippers out in front of him. "silently! Like the wind. Except more silent... but just as invisible! You didn't see anything." he backed up until he was behind the bush he'd used as a cover earlier.

"Actually, I can still see you."

"...Really?" There was a rustling sound as he resituated himself. "What about now?"

Marlene groaned in frustration. No matter how strongly she felt for the crazy penguin, his esoteric brand of paranoia still had a way of grating on her nerves. Following the groan came a sigh of defeat.

"Skipper, why don't you join us? You know, have a little fun? Is a little fun going to kill you?"

"It might."

"Skipper-"

"THE WIND, MARLENE! Would you talk to the wind? Huh? Would you?!"

She was about to reply, when Julien shouted from atop the slide, dancing to the beat of his boombox. "Marlene, hey! If you are being done talking to de shrub thingy, get over here and be appreciating my groove thingy!"

The otter gave one last glance towards her overly suspicious boyfriend, before shaking her head. She smiled at him, despite everything, before turning and yelling back towards her lemur guest.

"Alright, Julien, I'm coming! You should TOTALLY do that spinny backflip move again. The crowd was eating it up!"

Skipper watched as his flame walked off, before diving into the pool with the other mammal. He remained in his shrubbery disguise a few minutes longer as he just watched the two of them play and splash about. He glared. Oh, Marlene was wrong. So very very wrong. So very wrong that she was going to rue the day she didn't just asked for him to kick their tail out of her habitat. He knew Julien. He knew what he was like. The penguin knew he messed up everything he could get his dirty little mitts on, and how he took advantage of even the littlest kindness thrown his way.

It was only a matter of when, really.

But Skipper could wait, and he would. He would be waiting for the otter to be crawling back to him, showing him just how wrong she was. And Skipper would forgive Marlene for her naive generous behavior, because it was a part of her that he had also grown very fond of, as he patted her on the back and promised to fix her problem. And the flightless bird would do it, while only mildly rubbing in how wrong his love was. It was the way it was meant to go.

It was just a matter of time.

Meanwhile, back at penguin HQ ...

"No, no, no! It's a sixty degree turn, and double front flip, at half velocity! HOW is that so difficult to understand?!"

Rico climbed back up on the concrete island, exhausted and out of breath. But instead of complaining, he got to his feet and prepared to jump again. "Awri', I ga'it this 'ime."

Private sat not far away, watching the scene, already done following Kowalski's stupidly complicated orders... especially now that there was no one left to perform for, anyway; everyone seemed to be gathered over by the otter habitat for some reason. Rico still seemed to be determined to get them right, however, no matter how many times it took. This kind of thing was common lately; the hefty storage unit had seemed nothing but eager to please Kowalski as of late, and his efforts usually went unnoticed by anyone but Private, or met with cold indifference. It was obvious Rico was trying desperately to gain the brainiac's friendship, and even more obvious he was failing miserably, and it was becoming painful to watch.

"UGH! STILL wrong! I simply cannot WORK under these conditions! I need a break." Kowalski disappeared down the hatch, leaving Private and Rico alone up top.

Rico plopped down limply a few feet away from Private, sighing so sadly, it was almost as pathetic as the expression he wore. Private couldn't take it anymore; something had to be done.

"Um, Rico? I couldn't help but notice your efforts, of sorts, in trying to befriend Kowalski..."

Rico cocked a brow at the little bird beside him. "B'fren?"

"Yes, you know, friendship? You've been really nice to Kowalski lately, but I don't think he's noticed, has he?"

Rico didn't say anything. Ouch. He shook his head, instead. No, he hadn't noticed.

"You've been going about it in all the wrong ways! And I think I can help you! What do you say?"

Was that what this alien feeling was he'd been experiencing? This nauseating fluttery sickness that just wouldn't go away? Was it friendship? Rico wasn't sure whether he liked it or not. But he did like accomplishing the things he was supposedly trying to do. "Um... okay."

The private smiled before clapping his flippers jovially. He then settled down next to the older penguin as he began to give suggestions.

"Well, usually to make friends you need to spend more time around the one you want to be chums with. I see you've sort of done that, with getting Kowalski out of the lab more. But...you know how he is, not really the most sociable penguin, is he?"

Rico shook his head, though he agreed with the comment.

"Uh-uh, nada."

"Yes, well...the Lunacorns say that 'nothing says friendship like common interests and hugging away the sads'. And I don't think Kowalski is really sad...But I DO think you guys can get to being better friends by doing things you both like doing together! Or at least, take a notice and try to get into the things HE likes to do for fun."

Rico rolled his eyes. Uhg, Lunacorns again, he should have known. Still, the young soldier's enthusiasm was contagious somehow, and he figured this plan couldn't hurt.

Actually, Rico thought, it very well could hurt, it could hurt very badly. Kowalski's "for fun" activities were sciency things, and helping him do sciency things in the past had resulted in PLENTY of pain. Being electrocuted on purpose was likely his least favorite.

The weapons expert rose to his feet, but he didn't exactly look confident about the plan. He was slouching more than usual and a look of utter dread had settled across his face, as he looked toward the hatch.

"Aw, don't look so sad, Rico! I'm sure this plan will work. It always works for the Luna-"

The hatch clanged shut and Rico was gone. "-corns. Huh. I guess he was more gung-ho about this plan then he'd let on. Good on him, I suppose."

Of course Kowalski was in his lab. It was where he always went when he "needed a break"... or was excited, or bored, or had a headache, or a million other things. Kowalski was in his lab, unless there was any reason NOT to be.

As he reached for the door handle, Rico silently hoped it would be locked. He let out the breath he had been holding in a defeated sigh as it turned easily under his flipper, and the door creaked open. Great.

Rico stepped into the dark... why was it always dark in here lately? It never used to be. He made a mental note to chalk it up to the author forgetting that not all mad scientist labs were dark and dreary and spooky.

"... 'Walski? You 'ere? H'lo?" He figured being quiet this time was a better tactic than his previous ones. He remembered being yelled at before, and he wrinkled his beak as the word "penguin goo" resurfaced in his mind.

It took Rico a moment to realize there was a small blue-violet light coming from the corner of the room. The weapon's expert- more focused on his curiosity- closed the door behind him as he entered deeper into the lab and towards the strange hue. It was only as he came closer did he not only see some red and yellow shapes glowing with it...but he also heard a peculiar humming sound as well. Coming even closer to the sound and lights, the hefty penguin smiled to himself as he realized the tune was coming from the slight glowing outline of the very bird he had been looking for. Kowalski was lost to his own world of science; large earphones were attached to his head, as he was busy holding a strange rectangular shaped purple lightbulb in his right flipper.

"Hmm hmmhmm mmhmm," The scientist hummed to himself, as he slightly swayed his body to his music's beat, " And now she's making love to meee. Hmm hmm, do dum dum dee. She blinded me with science! Hmm hmm! She blinded me with science! OH BABY, and hit me with that sweet SWEET technology!"

Rico didn't have to be a genius to tell Kowalski was ad libbing a line here and there.

He almost hated to interrupt him, and probably would have just left, had the scene in front of him not made him forget his trepidations. Besides, now he was genuinely curious as to what Kowalski was doing, and if it would eventually explode or not.

He kind of hoped it would.

A flipper lightly tapped the scientist on the shoulder.

The taller penguin jumped as he hollered a shrill shout of surprise. He twisted himself around, back leaned against his work bench, as he held up his lightsource to help him see who had intruded into his lab. Kowalski nearly shrieked again as he saw a monstrous face greet him, before his eyes focused enough to make out the details in the shadows and luminescence. He sighed as he relaxed in the slightest when he realized it was only his fellow teammate.

"Rico!" Kowalski removed his headphones, as he clapped his flippers together. The lights of the laboratory instantly set the room ablaze in normal luster, as the two flightless birds could see once more. Rico was busy rubbing his eyes, slightly blinded by the sudden introduction of light, as the scientist put down his strange purple glowing device before confronting the muscular avian once more.

"Dear LORD, man! Is this a new running theme, or something? ALWAYS with the sudden intrusion! Trying to give me a heart attack?!"

Rico frowned. "'Ay! Naw muh faul' 'oo coun't 'ear me." his flippers went to either side of his head as if he were wearing headphones of his own, and began mimicking the swaying motions Kowalski was making earlier. "Ooo-oo, science!"

The scientist stiffened, as it finally dawned on him that he had been caught in the act of one of his private pleasures. While it was common knowledge that music and analytical thinking shared housing in the same parts of the brain, and that music could even help with concentration, it still wasn't something he liked to publically partake in often. Feeling his face grow hotter- no doubt he was blushing- Kowalski scoffed as he crossed his arms and looked away.

"You can't blame a guy for enjoying the classics! Besides, it seemed to fit the mood- I WAS busy doing...you know...science...things." Rico didn't look convinced, as the taller penguin threw his flippers in there air from frustration. "Oh, what? You don't believe me?"

The explosive's expert leaned towards the right, as he looked around the analyst to see just what he had been up to. Besides the weird light, Rico saw random glass disks filled with strange gloops of green mush and a beaker of smelly liquid. Next to the glass containers, however, WAS something he recognized as the scarred bird raised a brow.

"'inach? Oo akin' lunch?"

"What? NO! Not- no, not lunch! This is a side project I've been working on for a while. See, THIS," Kowalski held up the lightbulb he was holding earlier," is a UV-A light. You know, a blacklight? Those things you sometime see in those clubs you frequent from time to time with your insect companions? The ones that make all those crazy neon colors...You know what I'm referring to, don't you? I'm not just rambling to myself for no reason, yes?"

Oooh. Yeah, those things. Rico nodded. This seemed to please the scientist.

"Good! Well, YOU SEE, UV-A lights have the special ability of emitting ultraviolet light and are mostly used to pick up florescence substances that can't normally be seen by the naked eye. And THAT'S where the spinach comes in. Plants produce a form of photosynthetic protein called 'chlorophyll'. It's the reason why most vegetables are green. WELL, chlorophyll, when mixed with an acid, ends up emitting a red glow under blacklight. Which is what this...to use the technical term,'goob' comes from."

Kowalski pointed to the glass disk, before pointing his flipper at the smelly liquid.

"The beaker, however, is simply a mix of crushed vitamin B-12 tablets and vinegar. That has a more yellowish glow, compared to the spinach. Now, you see...my thought behind the fluorescence experiment was to try to use it against enemies in battle. Inspiration struck from the zoo's new insect exhibit, and our new scorpion residents. The exhibit notes that some places like Arizona tends to use blacklights in order for the humans to avoid being attacked at night. My theory is that this might ALSO be useful to us. Just imagine! Being attacked by some freaky mutated super ninjas! Oh! They think they can hide in the dark, huh? WELL NOT TODAY! Throw out a can of spinach vapor, and BOOM! We can instantly see all the enemies and instantly take them out! It's pure GENIUS!"

Now Rico was excited, too, and grinning like a fool. It seemed enthusiasm of all kinds was contagious! "Boom?"

Soon he was trying to reach around said enthusiast, and grab the vial, but Kowalski was doing his best to keep the hefty penguin at bay, by using himself as a barrier and not letting him get close enough.

"C'mon, leh me 'elp!"

"'Help?'" The brainiac penguin looked mildly concerned as he twisted his body to shield his precious equipment from the crazed bird. "Er, I'm not so sure how great of a plan that is. Remember the LAST time you tried to aid and assist me in an experiment?"

Rico thought it over as he tried to recall which "last time" he was referring to. Because his brain could readily list all the times when he had been a pretty great assistant and handing him tools as he built gizmos and whoozits, and how he had been a very agreeable test subject to his weird concoctions or desire to try weapons on him. However, if he meant the one time where he just haaappened to mistake his fish-shaped tracking device as food…

Yeah, okay, that was COMPLETELY his bad.

The weapon's expert sighed as his body slouched from disappointment. Well, there went THAT plan. Way to go, Lunacorns, your advice failed instantly. Rico, feeling slightly queasy from the sudden sinking feeling he felt in his gut, began to turn and waddle away so Kowalski could be alone to do his…THINGS without him.

Rico, however, was surprised when the analyst suddenly called out to him.

"Rico, wait! I...Well, THIS particular experiment is still in early phases and doesn't really require assistance." Kowalski paused as he sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck, "BUT, you know...Um, I DO have a few other projects that could use a helping flipper. What do ya say? Want to...help?"

It was surprising how quickly such a large penguin could move; in a flash, Rico was standing before him again, and his eager expression had returned. He hopped from foot to foot, and Kowalski wasn't sure he was aware he was doing so.

Rico didn't even care if these projects involved being electrocuted, or shot, or set on fire, or turned into a toad. So long as this meant he hadn't messed up, after all. Maybe they could still do the friendship thing.

"Uh-huh!"

"Yes, well," Kowalski began, as he turned away and pulled out a clipboard that had his notes of experiments he had on his to-do list," I do have a few things that should be simple and readily doable that we could test out today. There's the anti-pressure pill, the empathy chip is definitely on the list, oh! And then there's the coffee beans I've been synthesizing to taste like atlantic salmon. Always a must have, you know. And then there's the-"

"Feesh! Ooo! Feesh, feesh, FEESH!"

The scientist actually managed to laugh as he looked up from his notes and saw his companion dancing in place from excitement.

"Alright, I see we have a biased party here. Experiment number 246 it is!"

Rico's excitement only seemed bubble more, as Kowalski placed a flipper on his back and lead him to the opposite side of the lab. Sure, the moth's in his stomach were also flapping their wings crazily as he was very aware of the other penguin's touch...But he was also too thrilled that Private's plan seemed to be working to care much about it. Plus, you know...Fish! No, Rico was far too happy to care.

Besides, what could go wrong?

Everything was going so so HORRIBLY wrong!

Sure, at first it all SEEMED like it was going to go swell. The weapon's expert and fish enthusiast of the team had first tried out the salmon latte that the eggheaded member of the group had offered him. He had happily drunk cup after cup, as he enjoyed the frothy flavors. Kowalski seemed pleased as he had jotted down in his notes that it was a success. And it would have all been fine if it stopped there.

But with most things involving Kowalski and his experiments, it did not end there. It did not have a happy ending. And it most certainly DID backfire on the heftier penguin.

Rico had been unreasonably optimistic when he was strapped into the chair, and his optimism didn't deter even as the "suction cup thingies" and brain-scanner were placed upon his head.

A television screen was pulled down from the ceiling in front of him, and Kowalski stood beside him, with a remote control.

"This simple test should determine how long a violent and twisted mind can last, before shattering into a million tiny pieces, when exposed to something... horrible."

The penguin strapped to the chair brightened, and his tongue lolled out. Something horrible? Rico enjoyed horrible somethings. "Oooo."

"And, if all goes according to plan, we may be able to use this as a relatively humane way of extracting information." He clicked the remote, and the TV flashed to life. "Stay strong, Rico."

Regret instantly began flooding Rico's mind as the Lunacorns theme song began to play, accompanied by a herd of pastel-colored horses dancing across the screen. The weapon's expert turned his head as he saw the scientist put on sound cancelling headphones as he began to study the readings on his computer. Great, so Rico really was in this alone. He turned back to face the screen just as the theme song ended and colorful horses were sitting in a pink room, having a tea party.

"Oh," said the first one, who Rico instantly recognized as the doll that private carried with his all the time, " I do so love having tea with friends!"

"Indeed, " said the other, this one a bright pink pony with antennas and butterfly wings, " and you certainly throw the BEST tea parties, Princess Self Respectra!"

"It's only fun when shared with such good pals like you, Lady Tra-La-La!"

Oh man, Rico was starting to feel sick already, as his stomach churned over the sickly sappy friendship is magic garbage. Or whatever the heck they were phrasing it as! The hefty bird's plight must have been helpful, however, as Rico could hear Kowalski muttering ecstatically to himself as his pencil scribbled speedily back and forth across his page. Knowing he was doing good and assisting the one he wanted to be closer to seemed to kill the nauseating feeling slightly, as he looked back at the rainbow-vomit horses in front of him. Not much, mind you, but enough that he was determined to sit through the horrors in order to give the best notes that he could!

"Oh, Self Respectra, you are my bestest best friend!"

"Oh Lally! I love you more than I love sunshine and puppy kisses!"

Rico felt like he was going to upchuck everything he ever ate his whole life.

Then came the hugging. A low growl rumbled in Rico's throat before he was aware it was himself making the noise. Not that he was in any state of mind clear enough to care either way at this point. The friendship plan was forgotten, as his stomach contents gurgled and frustration levels rose.

The growl turned into angry yelling as he began to thrash against his restraints. All he was aware of was an intense need to get the heck away from these rainbow-spewing sparkle monsters.

Kowalski didn't hear the commotion through his headphones, but the sudden spike on the monitors had him looking back in shock. He threw off the headphones and scrambled for the remote in a panic; the budget wasn't going to allow him a new chair like that one for quite awhile, and he supposed he'd gathered sufficient information for now, anyway.

Once the television was turned off, Rico stopped yelling and struggling, but he was still glaring dangerously and breathing heavily. The scientist quickly released him from the chair, and Rico shot up and headed straight for the exit.

"Rico, wait! We haven't even tested out the Peruvian stink bomb immunity theory yet!"

The lab door clanged loudly shut, as a very peeved-looking Rico stomped out, shoving Private, who had been apparently standing there waiting, out of his way.

"I take it things didn't go very swimmingly then? The friendship didn't happen?"

Rico was already headed up the ladder. "NO MO' FREN'SHIP!"

And he was gone; he needed to go shoot something, or blow something up, ANYTHING to get rid of the sparkle-glitter he felt he was covered in.

"Oh, dear. Well, no reason we can't try something else!"

The room suddenly felt very empty to Private, and talking to himself wasn't helping. He grabbed his Lunacorn doll, and raised his voice to a falsetto. "You sure are a good friend, for helping Rico like that, Private!"

"Aw, you're making me blush, Princess Self-Respectra..."

The words from his precious dollie did make the younger penguin feel better...However, he couldn't help but think back to his two teammates- and especially to the explosive's expert. Rico had been so enthusiastic and ready to become best friends with Kowalski, that it would be such a shame to let it end just like that! So no, his first plan didn't help the two…

But Private wasn't ready to give up just yet!