"I can't believe he's actually going to go through with this." Standing next to Jason in the elevator, Elizabeth looked past his amazing body to the man who was leaning against the wall on the other side of the box. Cupid, doing his best to ignore her, was cleaning his fingernails with the tip of one of his arrows. "I mean the girl is just a few DNA strands away from a blow up doll. Her boobs are way too big to be real. I know her hair color comes from a bottle. A very, very cheap bottle."
"You really have something against blondes don't you?" Chewing on one of his cuticles Cupid rolled his eyes. "Is this a new development? Or are there some scars from your past that haven't quiet healed yet?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about. I do not have scars. What I am saying is, this is stupid. You're supposed to be the all-knowing about love. Putting two people together so they can live out their lives in marital bliss. Little Nurse Bunny-."
"Her name is Tanya." Cupid supplied.
"Who cares?" Elizabeth fired back. "What in the hell does she have to offer Jason? Enough plastic to supply him with plastic utensils for the next ten years? Even I can tell they aren't right for one another. So how is it that you can't see the wrongness of this?"
"What's your malfunction Webber? The guy's having dinner. Not getting down on bended knee to propose to her. His taking a chance on connecting with someone new. Taking a chance being the key phrase here. What's so wrong with that?"
Blinking, Elizabeth opened her mouth only to snap it shut. There was nothing wrong with it. Why should she care that her necrotic handsome doctor was on a date with some brainless wonder. Its not like she really knew the guy. Maybe this was his idea of a real good time. Perhaps women like Tanya were what did it for him. So who was she to stand in the way of true love.
But even thinking this she knew she was wrong. She'd been watching the man the last few days and couldn't help but feel connected to him. When he'd come in to check on her, she'd felt something weird. Like a stomachache. But that didn't mean anything right?
Scowling, Elizabeth kept her mouth closed. All of this was stupid. Jason Morgan was making her second guess herself. If she'd just stop and think about it for a second, she'd realize there wasn't a damn thing wrong with her. Her life was swell. Perhaps if her mother would just back off, stop shoving every available bachelor her way, her life would be a peach.
Following Jason closely down the hall, thinking of a hundred other things she'd rather be doing. Bikini wax. Regrouting her bathroom. Having brunch with high school alumni. Chewing a mouthful of broken glass while guzzling an extra tart batch of lemonade. All of it sounded so much better then being forced to attend this joke of a date. She hated going on her own dates. Having to watch other people's, putting it mildly, it sucked.
Arriving to what Elizabeth only assumed to be the mouth of hell. Jason let out a long breath before lifting up a reluctant hand to knock on the door. But before his knuckles even connected with wood the door was thrown open. Standing right in front of them in a barely there sun dress, stood enemy number one. A cheesy grin frozen on her face, big blinding teeth, hair swept up to show off her nonexisting neck. Yeah the girl was a keeper.
"Jason. I'm so glad you came. I was starting to wonder if I came off a little strong." Opening the door wider, Jason took the invitation and walked into her very feminine, potpourri smelling, putrid pink apartment. Elizabeth smiled immediately as Jason's shoulders tensed. "Excuse the mess."
"Your place is...its nice." Clearly uncomfortable, Jason didn't move from his spot in front of the door. Elizabeth hoped he woke up and smelled the blatant seduction.
"Let me take your jacket." The blonde ran her hand up Jason's arm and gave his jacket a small tug. "I have chicken pot pie cooking in the oven and I just need to pop the french bread in. There's a bottle of wine over on the table, why don't you open it and pour us each a glass."
"Oh don't go all out or anything. There's nothing more romantic than gravy covered pastry and a nice garlicy piece of bread." Making a face, Elizabeth made her way to the table and read the label on the bottle. "Dear lord, it's not even a cheap wine. It's a cheap blended wine."
"Hey watch it!" Cupid came up and pulled her back from the table, just before she impulsively reached out to read the label.
"What's your problem? You like the stuff? Bring back memories of when you'd take that special someone. Get them sloppy on Boonesfarm and boink her in the back seat of your..." Elizabeth's eyes raked down Cupid's fat and grotesque body. "Buggy."
"First of all, Cupid's don't boink. Second, you need to watch it. How do you think your little doctor would react if a wine bottle just started moving on it's own?" Heaving a sigh, he shook his head as Jason walked past them to open the wine.
"Are you saying that I can move things?" Now this was a new spin on things. Could make a very boring night... interesting.
"No." Too quick to answer, Cupid slapped a hand over his forehead. "I knew you were going to be a pain. Can't you just find a seat to park that flat little ass of yours in it. Sit back and observe?"
"Not in my nature." With a shrug of her shoulders, Elizabeth waited until Cupid wasn't watching and poked at a flower in a vase on a table next to her. When the flower moved, a huge grin flashed over her face. "So how come I couldn't touch myself back at the hospital?"
"Why would you want to?" Walking around the room, Cupid looked at the little nic-nacs on the shelves and tables. "I can't really explain it. Well I can, but your irritate me so I'm not gonna bother." Spinning on his heel, Cupid narrowed his eyes at her. "And if you don't mind, would you please stop poking at the tulips? It's tacky." Turning back to the hotel like painting hanging on the wall, his head went to one side. Then another before moving onto the next picture.
Sticking her tongue at his back, Elizabeth poked at one of the flowers just for spite. The sound of banging pots came from the other room. Taking a quick look to see what her fat jail warden was doing, Elizabeth bit down on her lip and turned her head to where the noise was coming.
Her eyes went to where Jason had taken a seat. Looking uncomfortable and out of place. Taking one small step, followed by a larger one. Elizabeth scooted herself out of the main room and right into the den of hell.
"Well, well, well." Tsking under her breath, Elizabeth shook her head as she strolled into the kitchen. "Someone's been a naughty little girl." The counters were covered in take out containers. The sink held more dirty dishes then a Thanksgiving feast. Getting a closer look, Elizabeth had no doubt that he crusted on food was more than a week old.
Apparently little nurse slut wasn't quiet the cook she pretended to be. Plus she was a big ole slob. If given the chance, Elizabeth bet if she opened the refrigerator she'd find the hospital's yearly supply of penicillin. Her closets were probably death traps, and her bathroom a breading ground for mold.
Inching her way over to the plastic cover just a few feet away. Elizabeth couldn't help but laugh as she slowly put her finger out and poked at it. At first it only moved a few centimeters. But with one more poke, the container scooted across the counter.
"What the?" The blonde looked over her shoulder to where the noise was coming from. Her little bunny noise twitched as she looked around before shrugging her shoulders and turning back to her task.
Not happy with her efforts. Elizabeth went to nudge the item again but was stopped when someone cleared their throat loudly behind her. "Whatcha think you're doing?"
Jumping and turning at the same time. Elizabeth cried out in alarm and put a hand over her heart. "Don't do that!"
"What?" Grabbing her around her upper arm, Cupid tugged her back to the living room.
"You scared the death out of me." Elizabeth accused.
"You'd only be so lucky." Clearly grouchy, Cupid pushed her into a candy striped wingback chair. "What in the hell do you think you were doing in there? If little bunny foo foo saw that container moving across the counter on it's own. She'd probably pee in her tight little panties?" Running a hand through his thinning hair, Cupid let out a deep breath. "You gotta promise me kid. No more shenanigans."
With a smug grin, Elizabeth held up a hand in front of her. "Girl Scout promise."
"You were never a Girl Scout." Cupid grumbled. "And don't think for one second I don't know your crossing your fingers behind your back."
"Come on. I was just having fun." Pouting, Elizabeth crossed her arms over her chest. Soon her mouth twitched and an evil smile spread across her face.
"Yeah, well stop it." Trying to keep a straight face, Cupid had to look away. "Will you stop smiling at me like that? It's hard to reprimand you when you glow like that."
"Fine I promise to try."
"Jason." Tanya's voice had all three occupants in the livingroom grimace. "Dinner is ready." The top heavy blonde came out from the kitchen with some silly ruffled apron tied around her waist. Carrying a casserole dish to the table, giving Jason a horsy grin, she returned to the kitchen.
"Oh come one! You can't expect me to be good when she's wearing something like that." Groaning as though she were in pain. Elizabeth buried her head into her hands.
"Elizabeth." Cupid warned. But the blonde returned with the salad as Jason made his way to the table and made sure she bent down extra low while she set the bowl down. "Okay that was tasteless."
"So Jason, how do you like the wine?" Her voice sounded like fingernails down a chalkboard. "It's one of my favorites."
Jason watched as she went around the apartment lighting candles. Elizabeth nearly yelped with joy when his ocean blue eyes flickered to the door, escape clearly written all over his face. When the blonde had the last candle lit, she blew out the match and went to dim the lights.
"Tanya. I thought this was just a dinner to thank me for changing your tire." Rubbing the back of his neck, Jason looked around at the candle lit apartment. "You really didn't need to go to all this trouble."
"You tell her Jason." Unable to keep her mouth shut, Elizabeth cheered on the handsome man.
"Trust me, it was no problem." Giving him what probably was her best attempt at a sexy smile. Instead she looked like a grinning jackass. "Come on. Sit down."
With apparent hesitation, Jason approached the table slowly. Taking a seat, he sat back as Tanya refilled his wine glass. The scene would've been romantic. If it weren't for the fact the situation was forced.
The blonde picked up her glass and waited until Jason did the same. "Here's to my knight in shining armor."
"Tanya, all I did was change your tire."
"Fine then here's to a new friendship." Standing behind the blonde, Elizabeth stuck a finger in her mouth and made gaging noises. Even Cupid looked rather green around the gills.
Apparently giving up on making Tanya understand this was above and beyond. Jason gently touched the rim of his glass to hers.
"Ten bucks she accidentally spills the cheap Kool-Aide down the front of her." Cupid smirked.
As if on cue, Tanya's glass tipped and a splash of red liquid covered the front of her top. Brining attention to her overly endowed chest. "I am such a klutz." Blotting her ample boobs with her napkin, she looked up at Jason under her lowered lashes. "Why don't you start the eating while I go change?"
"I'd give you the money." Spreading her arms out wide, Elizabeth smirked over at her little buddy. "No pockets."
"Don't worry about it." Waving his hand, Cupid winked at her. "It was a sucker's bet."
"So what exactly was I supposed to learn here again?" Taking a seat at the table with Jason, Elizabeth watched the way the candle light played on the tips of his blonde spiky hair. He was a handsome man and the longer she watched him, the more she saw.
It wasn't just his looks that made him attractive. It was his gentle blue eyes. The soft set of his mouth. Stubborn set of his jaw. His apartment spoke volumes of the man he was. His travel books, showed he had something between his ears besides hot air. The music that ranged between classical to modern told her he had some taste.
"Well, in a perfect world you would've seen how two people can interact without harsh words and walls the size of the one in China. But instead you are being forced to watch a B version of a date from hell." Taking the other empty chair at the table, Cupid looked at the spread in front of him. "Well here's a lesson. Pot pie and garlic bread don't spell romance."
"I'll just jot that down." Hearing a noise from where nurse duh had disappeared to, Elizabeth's jaw dropped. "Oh. My. God." Dressed in one of the shortest robes Elizabeth had ever seen, Tanya waited until Jason lifted his eyes and choked on the wine he'd been guzzling.
"Sorry. I haven't really had the time to do laundry. You know how hectic our schedules are." Not embarrassed in the least bit, Tanya walked over to the table and took a seat. Barely giving time for Elizabeth to slide out of it. "All I have left is my scrubs for tomorrow, or this." Taking her napkin and placing it on her lap, the blonde picked up her fork and attacked her salad. "I don't know about you but I'm starving."
"I refuse to believe that someone would actually do something this..." Looking at the table and back to Cupid, Elizabeth ran a hand through her hair. "This tacky."
"Oh believe me. I've seen worse. You'd be amazed at the stupid things people do. Most of the time it's from nerves. Wanting so badly to impress their dates. Doing things that under normal circumstances they'd never do." Looking over at the woman who was daintily eating her fresh bagged salad, he made a face. "Then there's people like our little femme fatale wannabe. They do these things cause they're just plain stupid. You gotta admit it keeps my job interesting."
"So you had no idea this was going to happen? The Pepto colored apartment. Tasteless menu. Embarrassing attempt at seduction. Did you bring me here to torture me?" Out of the corner of her eye, she watched Jason play with his salad.
"Oh my little pain in my ass. I wouldn't do that to you." Sarcasm dripped from each word, but Cupid gave her a knowing look. "This is all part of the package when you put yourself on the line. You're gonna meet some winners and then... Well, then there's times like this. When you would give anything for a cyanide capsule. It's how you handle it. Learning from the experience when you're in the moment that counts"
"So if I tell you I've learned from this lesson could you spare me the pain and agony and cut this short?" Pleading now, Elizabeth eyed the overcooked pot pie with disgust. "The guy has suffered enough already. I'll even promise to be a good little girl. Just please cut this date from hell short?"
Scratching his chin, Cupid gave her a stern look. "No crossing your fingers."
"Nope." Holding up both hands, Elizabeth gave him her most innocent smile.
"Deal." Snapping his fingers, Jason's pager went off. There was a loud sigh of relief and Elizabeth didn't think it only came from her.
"Tanya, I hate to do this." Already halfway to the door, Jason grabbed his jacket and didn't stop. "There's an emergency. Thank you for dinner."
Almost tripping over her own feet, Tanya hurried after him. "Well maybe another time."
"Ah. Maybe." Elizabeth really felt bad from the guy. He honestly looked like he was in a hell of a spot. She could tell he would rather shave with a dull rusty blade, then have to have another 'thank-you' dinner. But there was something about the way he looked at the blonde. As though he were trying to figure out the best route to take. What he could possibly say to avoid making the brainless twit feel bad or think she had a chance. "You're a nice person and I hope we can be friends."
"Friends that kiss maybe?" Seeing the blonde's intention to lay her over painted mouth on Jason. Elizabeth couldn't help the impulse that over ruled her mind. Sticking out her foot, she watched in glee as the blonde toppled over, landing face first on the ground in an ungraceful heap.
"What?" Elizabeth giggled as Jason helped his co-worker off the ground. "She did say she was a klutz."