In His Eyes
Chapter 4 - Break the Silence II
Kiri clutched her stomach, the despair washed over her, threatening to knock her off her feet. Ichigo stood by silently, the guilt he carried for several years returned with greater ferocity as he watched Yume's splitting image hold herself together.
"I'm sorry." He pulled himself to say. Kiri shook her head.
"It's too late." She managed to utter. "Take me home." Ichigo nodded and walked ahead.
Kiri stayed back at the grave, another wave of emotion dropped her to her knees.
Ichigo sat in the painful silence of the car. He felt his head begin to bode the warnings of a stress headache. Finally Kiri appeared slowly walking down the dirt path, her arms still around her. She stepped into the car without glancing at Ichigo. The orange teen drove out of the cemetery swiftly.
"Just drop me off at the corner." Kiri said as she neared her home. Ichigo did as told and Kiri stepped out. "Thank you for telling me the truth." She did not try to hide the despair in her eyes, and closed the car door.
xxxx
Rukia arrived to an empty house. She sighed at the thought of Kiri's twin sister only now discovering Yume's fate. She wondered how she was doing, and retreated to the bedroom to change out of her working clothes.
Ichigo opened the door, kicked off his shoes and dropped onto the couch. He heard Rukia come down the stairs, clad in pyjama pants and one of his shirts.
"Hi." She smiled softly. Ichigo shifted down the couch. Rukia took her place beside him. "How did it go?"
"How do you think it went?" He sighed, covering his face with his hands.
"Do you think she'll dig for the story? Discover what happened and come back with a vengeance?" Rukia asked, leaning her head on Ichigo's shoulder.
"If she's related to Yume, it might happen." Ichigo said, "But she seems much nicer. She has a little bit of Inoue's air."
Rukia watched as Ichigo loosened his tie and slip it off. "It's been years. You can stop blaming yourself." Ichigo shrugged.
"I don't know. I keep replaying her death over and over again in my mind... I could have stopped it." He replied, "If I were there earlier, I-"
Rukia grabbed Ichigo's face by his cheeks, squeezing them together and turned his face towards hers. "That's not something you can change now." She replied. Ichigo looked at her in pain. "She saved my life, Ichigo. For that, I'm grateful, and I have a feeling that she did it for you."
Ichigo could only stare the floor beneath him. He'd been told by Grimmjaw that she died with no malice years before, but never really believed it. Rukia placed her hand on his and squeezed it, their rings clicked at the contact.
"Even though there seemed to be something seriously wrong with her, she would have wanted you to be happy." Rukia said. Ichigo sighed in reply.
xxxx
Kiri fell to the floor, unsure what to do with herself as the information ravaged her mind. If she had searched for Yume earlier, would she have been saved? The name was so unfamiliar, although she had thought about it so many times. The thought of a sister comforted her in her loneliest hours, and now when she was so close, she was dead all along. Kiri shook as another bout of tears spilled over her.
How did she die? Kiri sat there, feeling dread at the truth awaiting her. She had run so long from these questions, and now they screamed at her from all directions. She clutched her head and continued to sob. She knew she was in no condition to stand, she couldn't even stop crying! Her heart ached for something that she never even had and she felt pathetic at the thought of it all.
xxxx
Five weeks later, Ichigo sat alone at the front desk of the Kurosaki clinic, taking Kiri's place in her absence. Isshin patted his son on the back, reassuring him that he made no mistake in telling the truth. Ichigo could only look away in dismay, adding Kiri's sobbing face to his bag of guilt.
"Other than that," his father interrupted Ichigo's thoughts, "How's your condition? You haven't had any episodes, it seems."
Ichigo honestly forgot about his disease, now realizing that perhaps it had reached a cycle. "I better not drive too often." He said, to which his father nodded.
"Rukia can always drop you off." Isshin smirked, "That's what wives are for!" he exclaimed.
The door rang as a client walked in. "I'm not sure what to make of that Mr. Kurosaki." Rukia smirked. She wore a baby blue dress, her bump beginning to show.
"Ah! The lovely mother-to-be! I was only joking you know, Ichigo is pretty useless isn't he?" Isshin smacked Ichigo on the back.
"He's got his uses." Rukia laughed with her father-in-law. Ichigo glared at the pair as he packed his belongings.
"You two take care now!" Isshin called, waving as he locked the clinic door.
Ichigo sat in the passenger's seat in defeat, and watched as Rukia placed a pillow underneath her.
"Still haven't grown?" He snickered.
"Make me angry strawberry and we will crash and burn!" She threatened, adjusting the mirrors, and then the car picked up speed as they drove home.
Ichigo chuckled. "How'd the appointment go?"
"Baby's live as can be! My doctor was actually surprised that I carried the baby so well, but insisted I gain weight." Rukia replied as she merged into a busy lane.
"You? Gain weight? Impossible." Ichigo retorted.
"I wish I could disagree." She replied solemnly. "What about Kiri? Has she returned?"
Ichigo sighed, "No."
Rukia was uncertain how to respond for the first time in a while. "Do you think that if she were alive, you'd be okay?"
Ichigo turned to his raven-haired wife, guilt ridden in his eyes. "I don't think you would have been." He recalled watching them fall from the high second floor balcony, Yume's body wrapped tightly around Rukia's, absorbing most of the impact upon landing.
Rukia frowned, as she parked the car. She pulled out the keys and let out a sigh.
Suddenly Ichigo felt a wave of pain in his head, he grasped his forehead, trying to relieve it with a massage. Rukia placed a hand on his, trying to catch his eye. "Ichigo?"
"It's happening." He managed to utter, struggling to find the latch to open the car door. Rukia burst out of the driver's seat to his door, opening it in seconds.
He clambered out of the car, falling to his knees on the cement from the pain. Rukia grabbed his shoulder and aided him as he stood.
"Don't... I'm fine, I can walk... the baby." He stuttered between steps.
"Your precautions are useless, idiot." She replied calmly as she flung his arm over her shoulder.
Rukia swiftly unlocked the door, and kicked it open. Ichigo gratefully fell to the couch, applying pressure onto his eyes. The small woman ran to close the front door, then to the kitchen to gather wet towels.
Ichigo lay on the couch in the dark behind his hands. Other than the extremely painful migraine, and shooting pain around his eyes, a new feeling of burning scored his eyeballs. He screamed in agony, unable to maintain his composure from the pain.
Rukia returned, carrying a small bucket of warm water and a handful of cloths. "Ichigo, how are you doing?"
Ichigo could only scream in response, slipping off the couch and falling to the floor, shoving furniture in his wake.
"You have to take your hands off Ichigo, I need to see what's going on." She asked, grasping his arms.
Ichigo nodded, panting as he pulled his hands away, revealing bloody palms. Rukia looked at his face and saw tears of blood running down his cheeks. She almost couldn't bring herself to ask him to open his eyes, but he did it anyway, revealing scarlet sclerae wet with blood. She held her breath. Ichigo pulled into himself once more and clutched her arms to ease the pain. Instinctively she pulled his head to her chest, and held him close as his grip tightened on her dress. He screamed into her chest, and Rukia felt his hot breath through her clothes.
"It'll be okay," she said aloud, as Ichigo's nails dragged along her skin.
Ichigo's screams eventually died away, replaced with grunts and panting muffled by Rukia's chest. A few minutes later, his grip loosened and he held his small wife tighter as his breathing calmed. He retreated, still holding his forehead. Rukia quickly wiped the blood off now crusting on his cheeks and eyes. He watched as she wiped the blood off his hands.
"Would you like some water?" Rukia asked gently as she gathered the stained cloths, he caught a glimpse of the scratches on her arms and imprints of his grip.
Ichigo shook his head in silence. "I'm sorry about your dress... and your arms."
Rukia looked down at the dark red mess on her chest and surveyed her reddened skin, she shrugged. "Wounds heal and clothes can be washed, so don't give me that look." She smiled, placing her hand on his cheek.
He couldn't help but return her smile. "How does it look?" He asked, turning his eyes to the side to reveal its hidden corners.
Rukia frowned, a dark red-brown line had formed. "It's exactly as Ulquiorra said." She replied, "Are you still in pain?"
Ichigo could only nod, tired from the event. "Still burning, but it's tolerable."
Rukia stood, the bucket swinging in her hands from the movement. "It's not very thick, the line. Maybe you have more time than the others did."
Her husband shrugged, and stood slowly. "I'm sorry." He said, not meeting her eyes.
Rukia glared at him, "You've done nothing wrong idiot." She punched him softly on the shoulder. "I'm going to put this away and prepare dinner."
"Rukia," he interrupted as she turned to leave. "I really am sorry."
She leaned in and gave him a small kiss on the lips. "I'm sorry too."
Ichigo woke the following morning next to Rukia sleeping soundly. She seemed to glow in the morning light, her beauty ethereal. He placed a hand on her cheek and brushed a stray hair away gently. The small woman shuffled at the touch, snuggling closer to his bare chest. Ichigo smiled and pulled the sheets up to cover her shoulders and lifted his to leave.
"Good morning," Rukia whispered. Ichigo turned to her, and she smiled, rubbing her eyes in grogginess. "Do you have work today?" She asked, her voice still tired.
Ichigo shook his head, running his fingers through her short black hair.
"School?" She asked, now fully seated up, her silk nightgown's thin lace straps slipping off her porcelain shoulders.
Rukia watched as Ichigo leaned in, pulling her straps up. "No. I'm yours for the day midget."
She smirked, "It's been a while since I heard that name, not that I like it."
He pulled her close and kissed her softly on the lips. He pulled away slowly, his amber eyes locked on her violet ones. Rukia smiled, crawling over to sit on top of his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him again, hungrily. Ichigo's hands slipped her gown off her shoulders, and he kissed her neck. She pulled him close as he fondled her breasts, her skin tingled as she felt his tongue tease her skin.
"So I have you all day?" He whispered hotly, as he slipped her dress past her legs, revealing her black bikini panties. She could only nod as he gently placed her on the bed.
"All day," she replied with a chuckle. "But... the baby." Rukia managed to continue, as he sucked on her nipples and slipped his fingers in her underwear.
"He'll be fine." Ichigo quickly replied, watching as Rukia clutched the sheets and bite her lip in bliss.
His wife paused and placed a hand on his head. "He?" She smirked.
Ichigo shrugged, "Or she." He smirked in return, grabbing her hands and trapping them onto the bed with his.
He pulled off the last of their garments and slid on protection. He ran his hands down Rukia's smooth legs when she was fully revealed and then kissed her passionately as he pulled her into position underneath him.
"Be careful." Rukia said, watching as Ichigo rubbed his erection along her wet opening and let out a moan.
"Aren't I always?" He joked, slipping inside of her. He moaned her name in her ear, just the way he knew she liked it, and she tilted her head back in response.
He began pumping slowly, and gained speed as Rukia's moans stimulated him further.
"I-Ichigo-" She muttered between gasps, "Let my arms free." She looked up at him, who didn't reply, instead watching her reactions. She moaned his name louder, "Ichigo... please."
He let go, but to Rukia's surprise, he stood, lifting her swiftly off the bed and pinning her against the wall.
"Ichigo..." She said, unable to protest as he kissed her fervently.
He let out a stifled moan as he slipped back into her, and began to pump harder, his muscles bulging as he pushed against her weight. Rukia gripped his arms, moaning his name as he continued. He pulled her closer and held her tighter as he climaxed, Rukia felt his muscles stiffen and heard him moaning under his breath. Ichigo pressed her against the wall as he finally came, tilting his head back in ecstasy. She let out a content sigh and kissed his collar. He returned, kissing her on the lips. Rukia smiled as he pulled away, and he lifted her to pull himself out. Rukia kissed him on the neck as he returned them to the bed, and laid Rukia down beside him.
"That wasn't very gentle," She chuckled. He smiled and pulled the sheets over them.
"I can't help it around you." He replied, and pulled her close.
xxxx
Kiri entered the Kurosaki clinic slowly wary of anyone who may witness her act. She sped to the counter and leafed through the client files. She pulled out a few and rummaged through them, picking up the one she needed and turned to leave only to run into Isshin.
"Find what you're looking for, Ms. Higurashi?" He looked at her neutrally, and she stared back in shock.
"I-I just-" Before she could finish, Isshin removed the file from her hands and opened it.
"I see." He muttered, and returned the file to her. She stared at it in uncertainty. "Finish what you started."
Kiri bowed slightly and received the file. "I'll return it." She added quietly.
"I have no doubt." Isshin said, and stepped aside to let her leave.
Kiri walked quickly down the streets, clutching her scarf at her chest to prevent it from blowing away due to the blustery wind. The cloudy sky painted everything in a dark grey, and trees were becoming barren, their colourful leaves now scattered on the ground. The neighbourhood gradually changed into groups of apartment complexes. She became cautious, surveying those around her. She turned a corner by a plaza of cheap looking pubs and suspicious karaoke venues towards a small brown apartment complex no higher than 3 floors, the address she found in his medical records. She paused at the lobby door, her legs weakening underneath her jeans. Maybe she shouldn't enter, she thought. Perhaps he was at work, or out getting into a fist fight, perhaps she should come another time with better weather and some form of protection.
"Get out of my way." A man grumbled behind her.
"I'm very sorry!" Kiri exclaimed, and quickly bowed before him. "Actually, I was wondering if-" She was interrupted at the shock of the familiar blue eyes.
Grimmjaw glared. "You." He shoved her aside and proceeded for the door.
Kiri stood still for a moment, shaken by his ferocity. She regained control at the sound of the lobby door slamming behind her. She ran into the building.
"Please, wait!" Kiri exclaimed, she placed a hand on his shoulder, and he whipped it off.
"Do not touch me, bitch." He glared, and proceeded to the stairs.
"I want to know about her!" Kiri called out. "I want to- I'm ready to know."
Grimmjaw paused and turned slowly. "Once you find out the truth, you're going to hate him." He said in a low voice.
"Hate who?" Kiri asked.
"Ichigo Kurosaki." Grimmjaw scowled at her. She could only nod, feeling as if a lump was stuck in her throat. He continued his path to the staircase with Kiri following a few steps behind.
He opened the door swiftly and led her into his apartment.
"You can leave your stuff wherever. Don't bother taking off your shoes." He walked towards the fridge and pulled out a bottle of beer. He waved some at Kiri who just shook her head.
A large frame atop a small wooden table caught her eye, it was surrounded by a few small candles and a small vase of flowers. She walked uneasily towards it, avoiding the bottles and cans that had collected into small piles on the floor. She covered her mouth at the portrait of a smiling brunette held in the frame.
"That's her." Grimmjaw said without bothering to look up, he crashed onto the couch and sipped his beer. "She was around 16 in that photo."
Kiri couldn't hold back and tears fell down her cheeks. "She was so young."
"She was." Grimmjaw replied.
Kiri sat on the other end of the couch. "What was she like?" She asked.
Grimmjaw let out a deep sigh and leaned forward on his knees. "Beautiful." He muttered. "A bit crazy. But then again, she grew up beside me." A brief silence followed, Kiri shuffled uncomfortably in her seat. "Her character is best described when you hear of how she died."
Kiri watched as the stranger before her glazed over. She wasn't sure what to expect as the silence wore on for a couple of minutes.
"Yume and her mother just bailed me out of jail." Grimmjaw started.
Ichigo had taken Rukia one more time, and Yume tried her best to comfort me the only way she and I knew how: revenge. It was a nice evening, I remember that school was nearly finished and the kids were running around in our neighbourhood. She was skipping alongside me, talking about how great the plan was. I was far too enraged to see its flaws, too in love to realize what I was about to lose, and she... far too optimistic.
"What do we do if we get in trouble with the law?" She asked. I still can't forget her voice. I could only reply vaguely.
We arrived at the mansion, unsure how to enter. There was no car in the driveway so we assumed she was home alone. Yume pointed out a pipe running up to Rukia's balcony. I helped her climb, and she winked in confidence, excited to 'take her Ichigo'.
I waited downstairs for about ten minutes, I began to get restless and wondered if something happened. Just then I heard a shot ring through the quiet upper class neighbourhood. The gun wasn't part of the plan! I started to panic, wondering how long it would take for the cops to arrive and if Yume could follow through with the plan. Just then I heard the glass sliding door open slowly and saw Rukia walking towards the stone rails lining the balcony.
I thought: this is it, all I have to do is catch her and she'll be mine. I saw Yume's face pop out and she gave me a confident smile.
She disappeared again and I heard more gunshots fire. Rukia was still sitting on the rail, I tried calling out to her but she was too distracted by whatever was going on up there. I couldn't leave, I was scared that she may fall.
Suddenly out of nowhere, Rukia and Yume came flying down towards me. It all happened so fast. I remember seeing Yume's eyes looking at me, and then her smile. I couldn't bear it, I knew that they would be too heavy for me but I dove in.
Kiri watched Grimmjaw sit in silence. His eyes were far away and his hands gripped his cold bottle tightly. She didn't dare say a word. He looked like he would shatter if she interrupted his thoughts, the careful deconstruction of his walls.
"The last thing I heard was her apologizing to me." Grimmjaw finally said. "The bastard Ichigo came racing out afterwards. I was ready to give him a piece of my fist but the cops showed up. I ran."
Kiri sat there, trying to understand what she was just told. "I don't understand... you couldn't catch her? Why didn't you stay?" She said, her voice shaking.
"I couldn't. I couldn't get caught again... I followed the ambulance to the hospital instead."
Kiri and Grimmjaw sat in silence again. Both were wounded and confused, unsure what to do with how Yume left them.
"She died protecting Rukia." Grimmjaw said, breaking the silence. "She broke the girl's fall... she broke instead. I was the last one to see her body. She's dead. She's dead because she was in love."
Kiri perked up in curiosity. "Loved ... you?"
Grimmjaw chugged the last of his beer then flung the bottle across the room, it smashed into pieces. "No. Ichigo."
Kiri looked at Grimmjaw in surprise. "I don't understand... Ichigo didn't do anything wrong. In fact, she was the one who came up with the whole plan."
"Are you saying it's her fault?" He asked, his tone becoming rougher.
The twin held her breath. "I'm not saying that. I'm not blaming anyone, I just-"
"Oh no." Grimmjaw interrupted. "You've fallen for him too?" He glared at her, rising as he awaited her answer.
Kiri couldn't reply.
"Have you met her yet?" Grimmjaw asked.
"Who?"
"Rukia. Rukia Kuchiki."
Kiri shook her head.
"Then I think it's time you did."
Grimmjaw pulled Kiri roughly by the arm and dragged her to the garage of the apartment.
"We can't do this now! It's late-"
"Shut up!" The enraged man replied.
He let go of Kiri and she watched as he revealed a vintage bike hiding underneath a dusty tarp.
"I'm not going." Kiri said firmly. She turned and began to walk away.
"Do you want to know why Yume hated Rukia?" Grimmjaw called out. Kiri paused. "Because Ichigo loved her. It would have been fine, but Ichigo toyed with her fucking feelings."
Kiri turned and glared at the man standing by his bike. "You're delusional! You're crazy!"
"And you know what else?" He added, ignoring her remarks. "I loved her too."
Grimmjaw stared at Kiri, gauging her reaction. The girl looked at him with confusion and pain.
"You won't hurt them... will you?" Kiri asked hesitantly as she walked towards him.
"You're nothing like your twin." He said, as he handed her the helmet.
xxxx
Ichigo smirked at the sight of Rukia preparing dinner in her silk gown. They had spent most of the day in the bedroom, and finally took a break to eat. He made his way behind her and wrapped his arms around her abdomen, then kissed her shoulder.
"Aren't you the least bit hungry?" Rukia asked.
"Not for food." Ichigo replied, trailing kisses up her neck.
"Give it a rest, idiot." The small woman pushed him away. Ichigo ignored her and continued to give her kisses. "Ichigo!" Rukia said, finally turning and wrestling out of his hold. "Stop!" She smirked, and slapped him away.
Ichigo rubbed his cheek with a glare. "Sometimes I wonder if you're ever serious when you hit me."
"You big baby." Rukia replied, mocking him with a funny face.
Ichigo waited patiently in the living room, and flipped through the television looking for interesting things to watch. He could hear Rukia set plates from the clinking of cutlery and the closing of drawers. He could also hear something else.
"Is that... a motorcycle?" Rukia paused, appearing in the living room by the couch.
Ichigo stared at their door. Both heard the engine come closer and stop at their driveway. "What the fuck does he want?" Ichigo bolted up, tossing his t-shirt to Rukia who quickly covered up.
Outside, Kiri struggled to get off the bike.
"Hurry up." Grimmjaw said, as he slipped the helmet off of her head.
Kiri tipped over, and Grimmjaw quickly caught her. She looked up in surprise, unable to hide her blush.
"Don't get the wrong idea." Grimmjaw said.
"Higurashi?" Ichigo called out at the pair lit by his porch lights. "What the hell are you doing with this asshole? You're not hurt, are you?"
Kiri tried her best not to fly with his concern, she suddenly realized that Ichigo's kindness was dangerous.
"This asshole just finished telling her the story you couldn't." Grimmjaw replied, walking up to Ichigo.
Ichigo glared, ready to engage his old nemesis.
"Is it true?" Kiri asked. "Did Yume really love you?"
Ichigo looked away, his eyes wretched with guilt. "Both of you... come inside."
Rukia jumped at the turn of the doorknob. She quickly turned off the T.V., and watched as Ichigo was followed in by Grimmjaw and Yume's twin.
"Rukia-" Ichigo started.
"Grimmjaw, Ms. Higurashi." She walked towards the pair. "I would have gotten dressed, but you came very unexpectedly."
Grimmjaw couldn't help but smirk. "You haven't changed a bit."
Rukia smiled politely at the man. "Neither have you."
Kiri watched Ichigo walk away dejectedly.
Kiri and Rukia shared the couch. Ichigo sat on the adjacent armchair and Grimmjaw stood a few meters away, leaning on the kitchen island.
"What do you know?" Ichigo asked.
Kiri couldn't bear to look at him anymore. Rukia was everything she'd ever imagined Ichigo's wife would be: beautiful, graceful, and just as kind as he was. She felt like she walked into something she had no right to investigate.
"She knows Yume saved Rukia's life. She knows that you couldn't save her. She doesn't know why." Grimmjaw said.
Ichigo glared at the man and turned back to Kiri. "He's right. I couldn't save her." He began.
"Tell her. Tell her how you broke her fucking heart." Grimmjaw egged.
"Shut up." Ichigo said, tensing.
"Grimmjaw, please." Rukia said, turning to him.
"You'd look better in my clothes." Grimmjaw teased.
At this, Ichigo stood, and the women watched rage consume the air around him. "Ichigo. It's fine." Rukia soothed. Her husband grit his teeth and sat back down.
"Grimmjaw and Rukia had a thing." Ichigo started again. "I was confused. I was young. I didn't know what I wanted and I didn't realize that what I wanted was her." He looked at Rukia who just gazed at the floor. "Yume was available, practically pushing herself onto me, and so I took the chance."
Kiri clutched onto the couch. His words caused her to become more confused, and yet jealous of her dead twin.
"Seeing Grimmjaw with Rukia pissed me off." Ichigo said. "I'll admit, without proper regard of Yume's feelings, I chased after Rukia."
"I played along." Rukia added with a sigh. "I was also unsure. But I did eventually end it with Grimmjaw."
"Yume didn't get the message, though." Ichigo said. "Even when I clearly let her go... they both didn't understand." Ichigo glared at Grimmjaw.
"But that day..." Kiri closed her eyes. "That day... why didn't you stop her?"
Ichigo ran a hand through his hair. "I wonder that, too." He paused, and he leaned over on his knees, his hands intertwined in thought. "It was hard to. She had a gun, she threatened to shoot Rukia. I was stuck. I actually jumped on her to try and stop her from getting to Rukia... but she could fight."
"She had to learn." Grimmjaw added. "We didn't grow up in a safe neighbourhood. And knowing Ichigo, he wouldn't harm a hair on anyone he didn't have to."
"I still remember the day I saw them fall." Ichigo covered his face with his hands. "I remember the sound of bones breaking. I remember the blood. I remember how the news was delivered. I remember not seeing her body until the wake." Ichigo's voice began to crack.
Kiri felt her chest tighten, unsure of how to compose herself. The twisted story of the events leading to her sister's death weighted on her mind. She looked up at Ichigo, now realizing that he wore only boxers. She felt her heart flutter, suddenly aware that she liked him but felt guilty in that her feelings seemed borrowed.
"Aren't you going to say anything, Kuchiki-san?" Kiri said, feeling her mouth move before being aware of what she uttered.
"I'm sorry." Rukia replied. "I did my best to distance myself from her and Grimmjaw..."
"I mean why couldn't you help her?" Kiri felt her voice raise. "Why didn't you stop her?"
"I was blind." Rukia said.
The room suddenly plunged into a thick awkward miasma. "Blind?" Kiri asked.
"I couldn't see. I was born blind. And up until then, I was practically helpless." Rukia said. "Had I known what was going on... had I-"
"Rukia. Stop." Ichigo interrupted.
"Had I been able to see... she..."
"Rukia." Ichigo's voice rose.
"She would still be alive." Rukia turned to look at Kiri as tears fell down her face."I'm sorry." She finished, her voice shaking.
Kiri's eyes began to cloud, shocked by the truth. She was unable to comprehend the evils that her sister had attempted to gain Ichigo's favour. Grimmjaw's love and confusion only sank them both.
"You have every right to hate me, Higurashi-san." Rukia said, her voice weak.
"No, you don't." Ichigo said aloud. "Rukia had nothing to do with it, she... she couldn't even understand what was going on then!"
Grimmjaw grabbed Ichigo by the neck. "But you did. You saw the whole thing. You could have stopped it... You could have-"
"Grimmjaw don't!" Rukia exclaimed, the scene and the sounds all too familiar.
"You both should have died!" Kiri screamed.
The trio turned to the twin in surprise. Grimmjaw looked at Kiri in confusion, and let go of Ichigo. Rukia looked away and Ichigo appeared horrified.
"That way, no one would be happy." Kiri finished. Her eyes red as tears continued to fall.
"But that's not how it turned out." Rukia said. Kiri glared at the small woman. "Yume died, but she saved my life."
"I wish she hadn't!" Kiri interrupted frantically. Rukia took a deep breath in.
"Do you feel guilty?" Rukia said, walking towards Kiri slowly. "Do you feel as if you would have been able to save her? Do you feel like you would have made a difference if you were there?"
Kiri clutched her head in desperation, the guilt seemed to burn away at her mind. "Stop!"
"I felt the same way." Rukia stopped in front of her. "You have no idea."
Kiri looked at Rukia in anger and tackled her to the ground. Ichigo leapt forward only to be held back by Grimmjaw. He thrashed in his hold, and landed a punch onto his stomach. Grimmjaw punched Ichigo across the face.
Meanwhile, Rukia was underneath Kiri, receiving blows to the face.
"Stop her, Grimmjaw!" Ichigo yelled.
"You gotta let them fight!" Grimmjaw insisted, pinning Ichigo to the wall.
"She's pregnant! She's pregnant!" Ichigo felt his energy leave as he watched Kiri land a blow onto Rukia's stomach.
Grimmjaw's eyes widened in surprise and he quickly pulled Kiri off of the small woman.
Rukia wiped the blood off of her lip and stood slowly. Ichigo rushed to her side, only to be shooed away.
"When Yume died..." Rukia said, clutching her stomach and her eyes firm on Kiri's. "My mother died too."
Kiri looked at her shock. Grimmjaw let go of the twin and walked farther away, finding it difficult to listen. Ichigo clenched his hands into fists, staring at the ground as Rukia recanted her side of the story.
"I didn't find out until I woke from the concussion. The concussion that Yume caused, but the death that she prevented." Rukia's voice stayed strong. "I was confused. When I woke, I couldn't even remember who my mother was, who Yume was... or how I ended up in the hospital. But there I was, suddenly sighted and alive. I was lost. I kept imagining what it would have been like if things were different. I tossed and turned the ideas in my head, they were both gone. Both." Tears began to flow down Rukia's cheeks. She paused to wipe the tears from her cheeks. "But I lived. I carried on and I let it go."
Kiri shook, trying to bar the sadness that threatened to wash over her. "So what are you saying? That I should feel sorry for you?" Her voice shook, despite her attempt to sound angry.
"No." Rukia said. "I'm saying that Yume, at the very end... decided to save me. It may not have been for me, personally... but for Grimmjaw, her brother, and Ichigo... the man she loved."
There was a short silence as Kiri felt her anger dissipate, eventually falling to her knees in grief. She hid her face as she sobbed into her hands. She felt jealous. For a moment she felt the loathing that her twin experienced for Ichigo's strong wife. She felt the potential to be like her, but felt she lacked her true grace and compassion. But at the same time, she longed to be like her passionate twin sister, to know how intense it was to love and to be vulnerable to its every desire. Kiri could feel her tears empty, her eyes burning at the water loss. She felt she could cry for a hundred years, but found no energy left.
"Yume wouldn't have been able to forgive." Rukia said. "At least... it took her longer than most." She smiled sadly.
"She was headstrong. Too stubborn for her own good." Ichigo added.
"You have something she doesn't have," Grimmjaw said, squatting beside the twin. "You give a shit. Yume was self-centered, the only chance she had to prove otherwise was when it involved me. I like to think that she redeemed herself with her death."
"She did." Ichigo said, staring at Grimmjaw.
"She did." Grimmjaw repeated.
Rukia held a hand out to Kiri who hesitantly took it. She helped the woman stand and Kiri looked away in guilt. "I hope your baby is okay."
Rukia smiled, "It's Ichigo's baby, too. He and I combined, I'm sure it can take a bit of a beating."
"We're going to the doctor's tomorrow." Ichigo said, placing a hand on Rukia's head.
"Will you be okay?" Rukia asked. Kiri tried to smile.
"I'll be okay." She replied. "At least I know what happened to her... and that she didn't die for no reason."
"Come on kid, I'll take you home."
"Grimmjaw, wait." Ichigo called out. "I really am sorry, about what happened to her. I wish I could have saved her."
Grimmjaw shook his head with a sigh. "I wish I could have saved her too."
xxxx
Grimmjaw helped Kiri onto the bike and handed her his helmet.
"If it helps, Yume knew about you." He said.
"What?" Kiri asked.
"One day, when we were in middle school, we decided to hop on the train and head to the nearest city." He leaned back on his bike. "It was around the time that there were a lot of school trips, we were real troublemakers back then and because of that we got kicked off the trip. Anyway, we were walking through a really crowded plaza and she pulled me aside saying she found her doppelganger."
Grimmjaw turned to Kiri with a sad smile. "It was you. Yume explained how her mother always lied about you. How she saved a picture of the two of you. She looked like she wanted to talk to you, but thought that you looked happy. Our lives at that point weren't very balanced, so she decided to wait. She wanted to meet you when she was happy, too."
Much to Kiri's surprise, more tears escaped her eyes when she thought she had none left.
"I just thought I'd let you know that she wondered about you, too." He took the helmet from Kiri's hands and buckled it onto her head for her. He climbed in front of her and felt Kiri collapse onto his back, sobbing.
A/N: HEAVY HEAVY HEAVY. I'm really sorry about the long wait! Hope you enjoyed this chapter!