Chapter 4
A Storm in the Distance
"So I imagined that, to have power, one must first have room for the power. An emptiness to fill. And the greater the emptiness the more power can fill it. But if the power never was got, or was taken away, or was given away- still that would be there." "That emptiness," he said.
Ursula K. le Guin, Tehanu
Tauriel was restless. She felt torn, knowing that she should have gone with Kili, with Legolas, with the elvish soldiers who were marching for Erebor. She longed to go, to do something, but the girl held her fast. Held her with guilt and the vulnerability of her hands as they lay small and limp in Tauriel's own.
She was drawing water from the Celduin a little way from the shelter when she heard the thunder of hooves in the distance. It came from a single rider, dressed in grey. He wore a pointy hat.
Mithrandir. The grey wizard. She had seen him a handful of times, when he had come to meet with Thranduil. She remembered, with a little jolt of embarrassment, of how she had once tried to tug at his beard when she was a child. She had been following him through a hall, waiting for the opportune moment to strike. It was the first facial hair she had ever seen. She had wondered if it could come off. He wouldn't remember, would he?
He had always seemed intimidating to Tauriel, humble Sylvan elf that she was, but it was no time to be a coward.
A desperate hope had her running toward the path. A wizard might know what was ailing the child, or even suggest a cure. She watched him draw closer with some concern. It did not seem like he was willing to stop, but she refused to move from the path. He was haggard, his bearing tired.
The galloping horse came to a sudden stop in front of her, rearing.
"I do not have time for the suspicion of Thranduil's guard!" the wizard roared, his blue-grey eyes glinting. "Let me pass!"
"Please, Mithrandir, I would ask your help. There is a girl. I think… I think she took the fire from a dragon as it died." Tauriel realized that she must sound mad, but it was the closest she could come to the truth.
The wizard looked at her, considering. Tauriel was almost tempted to fidget beneath his gaze.
"How far from here?" he asked.
"Close," came Tauriel's eager reply.
"Very well. The horse could do with a rest. You must understand I cannot tarry long."
Tauriel nodded, and led him to the little shelter hidden beneath a high bank of the river.
Immediately after they entered, the wizard went to the child's side.
"I found her in Esgaroth, the night the dragon attacked. She went to him as he lay dying." Tauriel started, at a loss for anything else to say. The wizard's immense power made the small room feel even smaller.
The wizard frowned. "And what was a forest guard doing in Laketown with a dragon attacking?"
"My lord Legolas and I were tracking orcs bent on destroying a company of dwarves who escaped imprisonment from our halls. And please, I hold no position in the Mirkwood any longer, for I have been banished." The last part came with a slight tremor in her voice. She could not let anyone believe that she was something she wasn't. Especially not a wizard.
He looked up from the girl. He was holding her hand and had been muttering under his breath while she had spoken.
"A company of dwarves, you say. I know these dwarves. Did they make it to safety?" and then he asked the question Tauriel was fearing. "Why is it that you were banished?"
"Yes. One of them, Kili, was poisoned by a Morgul arrow. I disobeyed an order from the king to save him. He is the reason I am banished."
The wizard lifted his eyebrows. They managed to touch the brim of his hat. "There is no resentment or regret in your voice. A strange thing, considering the price you have paid. Could it be that elf has fallen in love with a dwarf?"
"Yes." She felt embarrassed at the amused crinkles at the wizard's eyes that betrayed his smile.
"These are strange times indeed. Next thing we know we'll have a cat playing the fiddle."
Tauriel decided to change the subject. There would be many more who would laugh at her love, and many who would frown at it, but she was in no mood for jokes. "What is she?" she said, noticing the subtle change in the girl. A hint of colour in her cheeks, the way her eyes stared moving beneath the lids like she was entering a dream.
"She is a sick little girl in need of someone to take care of her; that much is obvious. What she was before that…" he shook his head. "Is of no consequence, since she gave it up for this life. Do not waste time in trying to looking for her parents." The wizard stood, leaning heavily on his staff. "That is all the time I can spare for now. She will be waking soon. I shall return to you when this whole unpleasant business is over. Be vigilant. See to it that she gets plenty of rest."
"Thank you, Mithrandir. I do not know what I would have done without your aid." She followed him outside, a last question wavering on her lips. There were many others, but only one that could not wait.
"Is there any danger for the dwarves in Erebor?" she asked at last, as the wizard mounted his horse.
"I'm afraid so. An army of orcs may be gathering. But do not fear, I will do all I can to keep your young dwarf his companions safe. Until next we meet." He touched the brim of his hat and then the horse was galloping once more.
Tauriel stood frozen to the spot, horrified. An army of orcs. Did Thranduil know? Was that why the elves were marching? Legolas was going to an abandoned orc stronghold. Had he suspected that the orcs might try to take Erebor? Nan Belain! She thought, I should not have let him leave alone! And the dwarves! There were so few of them and the men of Esgaroth were little more than rabble!
Her thoughts ran on in the same thread for a long time, full or worry and regret until she felt sick with it. I made my choices, she told herself, and now I must stand by them.
With a last lingering glance to the North, she returned inside.
Tauriel was returning to the shelter the next day with a couple of rabbits when she noticed a series of small footprints on the path leading to the river. Her breath caught. The print was the right depth for the little girl's slight weight.
She was not surprised to find the shack empty. Tauriel made her way down to the Celduin, worried and elated all at once. The girl's singed dress was hung over the branch of a tree. Splashing could be heard from the shallow water near the bank.
Tauriel took a few quiet steps toward the river and the girl came into view. She was trying to catch something, a cup in her hand. The water was murky where she had stirred up the silt with her movement and the girl was covered in the watery mud. She did not look like someone who had been on the brink of death for three days.
A smile played in Tauriel's eyes as she watched the girl. She was a sturdy little thing, sure on her feet and careful in her movements. Because of this she took a while to catch what she had been fishing for. She stood staring at the content of the cup with a frown.
"What is it that puzzles you?" Tauriel asked, choosing to alert the child to her presence.
The girl's head shot up, startled. She stood still for a moment, uncertain, before she walked towards the elf. She lifted the cup for Tauriel to see.
"This fish has legs." She said, solemnly. "Fish don't have legs."
Tauriel looked into the muddy water and saw a traumatized tadpole circling the bottom. She raised her eyes from the cup to meet the girl's. They were green. Not like her own. It was the green of new leaves with the sun shining through them. There was the hunger too, somewhere behind the green. An emptiness waiting to be filled. Tauriel could feel the pull of it.
"It's a tadpole. They become frogs." She said.
"Oh." The girl seemed disappointed. She returned to the stream and freed the creature. Tauriel wondered if she should have explained more. She didn't quite know what to make of their odd exchange.
"My name is Tauriel. What is yours? Are you feeling all right?"
The girl nodded. "A name? I haven't needed one yet."
"Well, then we'll need to find you one. I'll see if I can think of any on the way back. There are some rabbits back at the place where you woke up. You must be hungry."
The girl nodded again, vigorously. She washed the mud from her body and tried to put on her dress. Tauriel ended up helping her after the second time she got it on inside-out.
Tauriel started to doubt whether her patience would last until the wizard returned. She had never been very competent at mentoring the young recruits and she did not think caring for the little girl would go any better.
The days passed slowly. To Tauriel's surprise the girl provided more entertainment than frustration. It did not take long for the girl to overcome her initial mistrust of Tauriel and when she did her openness was refreshing.
Night brought back her unease. Sleep evaded her and she spent too much time sharpening her blades instead. The slow, rhythmic rasp of metal against stone was a comfort to her as she thought about the elvish soldiers, the dwarves and the danger that they might be facing. She prayed to the Valar that their weapons might strike true and their armour shield them from death. It was all she could do.
Then, one night a storm broke loose. A storm that wasn't just a storm, but the heavens shattering in lightning and gale and sheets of rain that had the Celduin roaring as its waters rose. Inside Tauriel and the child sat around a small fire. She had noticed that the girl had a certain fear of fire. No, she thought, not fear, not really. It was a wariness, a flicker of unease in her empty eyes. She would stare at the flames intently, tuning inwards before turning away from the fire suddenly, frowning. She asked Tauriel for a song and amidst the cacophony of the storm a single voice rose sweet and clear.
The next day Gandalf returned.
A/N: Good grief the second half of this chapter was a pain in the behind! Hope it's readable because I had no idea what I was doing. The first version was even worse. Had to rewrite it completely. Sorry for the delay, but I had no idea I would struggle so long with something so simple.
Anyhoo, on a brighter note, the next chapter has a Legolas point of view which I can't wait to sink my teeth into.
Also, that quote at the top? It's where the idea for my OC was born.
Still hoping I'll find a beta, in case anyone has some free time on their hands. :)