Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor anything associated with it.
Repulsive Chapter 4
A month went by and things were back to normal. I had almost-almost forgotten about the incident, but I had long since forgiven James. No matter how thick his skull, he is still my best friend. Remus and I had gotten closer, purely because besides Lily, he was the only one who knew my secret. We would go to the library and study together, which many people would find shocking. Unfortunately for me, the girls went even crazier over me because now I was cute and I was smart. I experienced many trips to the boy's lavatory just to get away from them. Hiding in the bathroom though, wasn't doing me any good.
So one day, I was busily strutting about the halls like I owned the place when I heard a commotion in the next corridor. I quickened my pace, hoping to catch the scene. As I turned the corner I immediately halted. I backed away slowly, so as not to be seen and peered around the corner.
James and Peter were standing, wands pointed at Severus who was standing near Lily, with his own wand on the ground. "What are you doing talking to Lily Snivellus?" James demanded harshly.
"James stop we were only talk-" Lily started, but James cut her off.
"Stop defending him Lils, he knows what he's done." He replied coldly, still glaring at Severus.
I knew I had to step in, I was just too afraid. I pushed the childish fears back though, and mustered all my Gryffindor courage. I walked forward clearing my throat. They all turned and looked at me.
"What's going on here?" I demanded.
James turned back to Severus, all the while replying, "Well Padfoot, you see Snivellus here was talking to Lily like they were all buddy-buddy again. Can you believe that?"
"Well, does Lily have a problem with this?" I asked, already knowing the answer.
"No I do not-" She started, before James cut her off again.
"Lily he called you a Mudblood! And you're acting like you've forgiven him!" He yelled.
"I have forgiven him James!" She yelled back. "Come on Severus, let's go."
"Oh no you don't." James stepped forward and fired a curse at Severus, causing him to fall over in a groan.
"Prongs!" I had enough of this, "What the hell was that for? Lily has clearly forgiven him, why can't you just leave it alone?"
"Because!" He defended angrily.
"That's really childish James, get over yourself." I glared and stepped forward holding out my hand to Severus.
He glared at my hand, expecting me to trick him. "Just take it!" I yelled, extremely pissed off. He took my hand and stood up, immediately letting go.
"Lily!" She jumped, I needed to chill out, so I continued a little more softly, "You coming?"
She nodded, and Severus, Lily, and I quickly left the scene to a bewildered James and Peter. I felt bad for yelling at him, but he deserved it. I knew we would make up eventually. None of us spoke as we headed outside, and finally stopping by the lake, I had clearly been interrupting an intimate moment, so I decided to take my leave.
"So er… sorry about James being such a git… always. Er… yeah. I'll just leave you two." I stuttered awkwardly before turning.
"Thank you." Immediately I turned around, Severus was looking down but his cheeks were red. I suddenly felt mine growing hot and replied quickly to avoid further embarrassment.
"Any- anytime." I smiled. Turning back, I walked back to the castle with a new spring in my step.
That night I sat pondering the day's escapade, with a goofy smile on my face, unbeknownst to me.
"You're thinking about him." Remus and I were sitting in the common room next to the window.
"No I'm not," I blushed and looked out into the night sky.
"Yes you are, you've had that goofy smile on your face for the past ten minutes Sirius." He shot back. I continued looking out the window without replying.
"You should really tell him you know." He said softly.
Finally, I turned back to him with an incredulous expression, "Are you loony Moony? I can't tell him. You know I can't. It would ruin me. Not to mention the fact he won't like me back." I sulked into my chair, frowning.
He chuckeld, "Get over yourself Padfoot. You're going to have to tell him eventually, unless you want to keep embarrassing yourself in front of him. It's better to tell him intentionally then to let it slip out at the wrong time." I knew he was right, I just wouldn't admit it out loud so I grunted in acknowledgement. He laughed. "Sirius stop pouting. Get up, and do it." He gave me a little push.
"Fine fine. He's probably in the astronomy tower." I got up and started heading for the portrait.
"I didn't mean now! It's past curfew!" He jumped up, running after me, and pulled me back just as I reached for the handle.
"Your idea Moony, you can always come with me…" I joked.
"Absolutely not. If you get a detention, it's all on you Sirius." I grinned wickedly before stepping out of the portrait, leaving Remus to shake his head slowly.
Walking along the corridors, I started to regret my decision. I walked slowly, thinking I should turn back when I heard a small noise. I backed up to a corner, attempting to hide myself in case it was a teacher. Holding my breath, I listened for footsteps. Sure enough, someone was walking down the hall in my direction. I stood stock still, breathing as light as I could. Suddenly, the person turned the corner, and I instinctually gasped slightly, it was Severus.
"Who's there?" I froze, but thinking it was a worse idea to remain hidden. I stepped forward. Seeing it was me, he backed away slightly.
"What are you doing out? It's past curfew." He asked.
"I could ask the same of you." I replied quickly.
"Touché." He responded. We stood there awkwardly silent for a minute, not knowing what to do.
"So er- what are you doing out?" I asked hesitantly.
"That's none of your business Black." He bit back.
"Oh, er right- sorry." I looked away dejectedly, "I'll just leave you to it then…" I started walking away, but his voice called out behind me.
"What are you doing out?" He asked curiously.
"Why should I tell you when you won't tell me?" I turned around, frowning. When he didn't respond, I turned away and started walking again. Without stopping I muttered softly, "I was looking for you." I silently hoped he hadn't heard me, I was already embarrassed as it was, but he did.
"Why?" I stopped, but didn't turn around.
"No reason… goodbye Severus." I started walking, internally cursing myself hoping he hadn't caught the slip of his name. I should have known better.
"What?" He asked, dumbfounded.
"I said goodbye." I kept walking, but he was following me.
"No, I mean, you called me Severus…" He was next to me now, walking along with me.
"That is your name isn't it?" I bit back.
"Well yeah but… you've never called me that before." He said quietly. "Where are you going?"
"Astronomy tower." I replied shortly.
"Oh… me too." He said nervously.
I chuckled lightly, "I thought you would be."
"Why are you being so nice to me?" I stopped, not knowing how to respond. He was watching me intently, and I could feel a blush creep on.
"Sick of being mean, I guess." I looked down.
"No, that's not the reason." He accused.
"How should you know?" I looked up, immediately lightening my tone, from the wide-eyed look he was giving me, "I mean…" I stopped, and turned around, continuing my walk.
He started following me again. "Why are you following me?"
"We're going to the same place remember? Besides I'm not done talking to you." He stated.
"More like interrogating me," I muttered, but he ignored it.
"Why were you looking for me?" He asked again.
"I told you." I replied childishly.
"No you didn't you said: No Reason, that's not a reason Sirius and you know it." He accused.
"Looks like I'm not the only one using first names." I noted. He was quiet the rest of the way. Finally, we reached the Astronomy Tower, and I had no idea what to do. I really didn't have a reason for being there anymore. So I walked forward and sat near the ledge, looking out at the sky and the grounds.
He stood there for a moment, before following suit and sitting next to me. We were silent for a while before he spoke, "So… are you going to tell me? Or are you just going to leave it up to the imagination?" He asked quietly, in a slightly annoyed tone.
I didn't reply for a moment, thinking about the best way to phrase my answer, "I just wanted to apologize for… everything James and I have ever done to you."
"Oh," he hesitated, "well… I guess I accept your apology."
We didn't talk again for a long time. We just sat there watching the stars, relaxing together in our own little worlds. I thought about telling him, but every time I decided to, I chickened out at the last second. So we just remained there quietly, not speaking. I was pulled out of my reverie when I heard him shuffle. I turned and looked at him, and noticed he was yawning.
"Why don't you go and sleep?" I asked.
"I can't sleep these days." I nodded.
"Me either." I just kept watching him until he looked at me in question.
"Yes?" He quirked an eyebrow.
"Are you gay?" I didn't mean to say it, it just spilled out. I felt my face get red hot, and I instantly regretted it as I watched his face turn to rage, as he got up and began storming out of the room.
"Wait!" I called, getting up and running after him, "Wait Severus…"
He turned around, his expression full of hate and hurt, "I knew this was a trick. You and Potter, probably planned this from the beginning so you could humiliate me further." He snarled, turning away.
I quickly grabbed his hand, getting slight déjà vu. "Severus… I didn't-"
"Let go of me Black, or I swear to Merlin I will hex you to next week." His eyes flashed, and I immediately let him go, watching him stride away in fury.
"I'm assuming it didn't go so well…" Remus was still in the common room, he was the only one ever up at this hour, but I supposed he couldn't sleep since the full moon was just three days away.
"No. It didn't." I began to storm towards the dormitories, when a hand reached out and grabbed my shoulder, turning me around.
My eyes flashed in a similar expression as I had just witnessed Severus using, "Moony, I really don't want to talk about it." I sighed.
"Well, we're going to Sirius. Sit," he pointed a finger at the couch, and I didn't want to anger him during his time of the month, so I sat.
He sat next to me, and asked quietly, "What happened?" So I relayed the story, with every single detail, and as I was spilling it out, I felt tears prick at my eyes. He hugged me quickly, then smiled, "It'll take time, but I think you're making some progess."
I looked at him in disbelief.
"Seriously Sirius." He chuckeld.
"Ha ha." I replied sarcastically, "How can you say this is progress?"
"You'll see." I rolled my eyes. Why did he have to be so damned perceptive… oh right, he's a werewolf.
A/N: Finally a new chapter! This story is almost done, I originally wanted it to be a oneshot, but I got too many reviews saying they wanted it to continue. I think it will be done in the next chapter, that I promise will be released really soon, I've already started working on it. Tell me what you think.