A/N: As promised, the second chapter this week! :) Thanks for all the support for getting my dream job! I'll keep you updated with how it goes, my second phone interview is in an hour. Thanks for all of the reviews and encouragement for this story! Please let me know what you think of this chapter!
Goodbye by Paul McDonald & Nikki Reed
"Your hair, your lips, the things I'm gonna miss…
There was good times, but mostly bad times…
And I tried to give you every bit of my
Heart, but we tore each other apart
You wanted time, it's better now we say goodbye"
Defining Moments
Chapter 4: Proud of You, Babe
Steph's POV
After waking up from my nap, I rinse off and get ready while pushing the nightmare out of my mind. I don't really know what to expect for tonight's distraction, but I'm sure it will be like all of the others. I take my time in the bathroom. I shave my legs and underarms. After getting out and drying off, I blow dry my hair. I put in some leave in frizz-be-gone conditioner beforehand so when it dries it will be manageable. I use my curling wand and make nice curls. I prep my skin with some rosewater spray and hydrating lotion before applying my makeup. I go for brown shades that will make my blue eyes pop. I go light on the inner corner and add some shimmer with the dark brown at the outer corner of my eyes. While it looks great, it's not over the top and definitely something a working professional could get away with. I add black eyeliner with a small wing and then finish with my trusty mascara. I'm lucky I got blessed with naturally beautiful lashes that become overly thick and long with a few swipes of mascara.
Once my hair and makeup are finished, I head to my bedroom to find a suitable outfit. I decide on a black pencil skirt with a slit going up the left leg and a flowy but form-fitting button up white shirt. I leave a few more buttons unbuttoned than would be work appropriate. I'm putting on earrings when I hear my front door open.
"I'm back here Ranger," I call as I head to the closet to grab a pair of bright red FMPs. Hmm, not exactly office-friendly but definitely for a night out. A smile graces my lips as I think about these shoes. I love them even if I barely ever get to wear them. I feel the tingle on my neck as I secure the shoes. I stand and hear an exhale of breath. I turn to see Ranger standing in the doorway. He's wearing his usual swat black attire but it's the way he's looking at me that makes me gulp. His eyes are focused on me and are glittering black. His breathing is shallow and he looks like a predator about to catch some prey. I feel my nipples harden as I study him, and he studies me. God, what a traitor my body is. I can tell he notices because his eyes trace down.
"So…uh…" I try and break this tension, but my brain seems to be on short circuit. In two strides he's right in front of me. His arm goes around my waist and he pulls me tight against him. I can't stop the whimper that comes out of my mouth from the contact. He tilts his head and slants his mouth over mine. I can't even try to stop him…if I wanted to. Our tongues meet in a frenzied dance, and he pulls me even tighter. His hand skims my waist and cups my breast, his thumb flicking over my hardened nipple. I moan into his mouth as he deepens the kiss.
Just as I start to realize what a bad idea this is he pushes me away. I see his chest moving fast so I know he's just as affected by this as I am. I put a hand over my still tingling lips as I try and make my breathing normal again. Oh God, why does he do this to me? Doesn't he know he could shatter me into a million little pieces with just a word?
"Ready for the wire?" Ranger asks completely ignoring what just happened. I nod mutely. I guess I don't have anything to say to him. Why does he keep doing this to me? My heart hurts. He pulls out a wire from his pocket and undoes another button on my blouse. My skin is humming as he hovers over my breast and a zing of heat rushes through me when he places the wire. I realize I'm holding my breath as he places it. His hand lingers on my skin before he pulls back and redoes the button.
"All done." All I can do is nod. I hate how much control he has over me. I grab a black clutch and stick some pepper spray along with my keys and wallet inside. I turn out the lights and exit before Ranger, so he gets the idea without me having to say a word. Once he's outside I lock up before we head down. Surprisingly, he goes straight for the elevator. We get in and neither of us speaks. The electricity is humming through the air, and I feel like I could cut the tension between us with a knife. If I hadn't decided before, I definitely need to avoid him in the future. I don't think my senses or my body can handle him in such close proximity. The elevator opens, and I try not to rush out too quickly. I'm almost to the lobby doors when he grabs my hand. He pulls me so I face him. I look up at his face. Usually so void of emotions, I can see the confusion on his.
"Babe?" he questions probing my face for some indication of what I'm feeling. I look into his soft brown eyes, and I can see flecks of gold. He looks so genuine, so concerned for me, that I almost forget about his meetings with Jeanne.
"We're going to be late." I drop my eyes from his, and he slowly releases my hand. We head out, and I sigh as I realize he brought the 911 Turbo. He opens the door for me, and I slide in. I can't help but moan at the buttery seats. Ranger shoots me a look as he starts the car. I squirm as the vibration travels upward. It has been several months since I've been with a man and with Bvlgari in my nose and the linger of his kiss on my lips- I'm on the verge of combustion. I close my eyes and try to take deep breaths. I stop breathing when I feel his hand on my leg and his fingers are making their way up the slit in my skirt. I open my eyes and meet his. I can see his pupils dilated and his nostrils flaring.
"Babe," he utters in a low, rough voice, "Are you and the Cop done for good?" He strokes my inner thigh after he finishes asking. The heat is pooling low in my belly, and I'm aching for his touch. I nod. He starts to move forward, but I grab his hand. I feel my eyes fill with tears. I can't just be his plaything.
"Ranger," I choke out his name as I try not to sob, "Stop, please." I'm afraid to meet his gaze. I feel the tears pricking my eyes. I've never really told him no before. He moves his hand, and it's on my jaw. He tilts my face up to meet his. His eyes are soft and his face open for me to read. He's confused and looks upset. A tear rolls out of my left eye without my permission. He wipes the tear away with his thumb and presses a soft kiss on my nose. His phone chirps and the moment passes quickly. He flips it open.
"Report." "Be there in 15." He closes the phone and I'm reminded of his lack of phone manners. He starts driving, and I check my face in the mirror. Since I wasn't crying my eyes out everything still looks okay. We make it to the bar in no time.
"Binky and Manny are behind the bar," he tells me, "Lester is in there somewhere."
Binky, Manny, and Lester are all RangeMan employees. I think there is a secret rule where all RangeMan have to be uncharacteristically muscled and good looking. They're all hot and ex-military of some sort. Ranger gets his nickname from his time in the Army Rangers. I've worked with a lot of the guys at one point or another when I've been strapped for cash. Ranger always seems to know and offers me a temporary position at RangeMan. None of them know this, but I secretly call the guys at RangeMan the Merry Men like in Robin Hood. They all follow Ranger and work to take down evil. I'm not sure how they would take to the nickname considering the real Merry Men wore tights. I never accepted a full-time position at RangeMan because that would require me to spend time in the gym daily, shoot my gun regularly, and eat barks and twigs. The part-time gig is good enough with me, but now that I'm trying to be better and get another job, I kinda regret never taking him up on it before.
Ranger hands me the file, and I study it. The man doesn't look threatening, and he's not half bad to look at. Should be an easy lure.
"Stay safe Babe," he says quietly as I open the door. I nod before putting on my game face and walking to the front of the bar. The bar is not well known to me, but it doesn't seem like an upstanding establishment. Men are smoking around the entrance, and I already get some catcalls. I sashay my hips, ignoring the men, and walk straight into the bar.
It's dim inside and a buzz of conversation is in the background. I notice a lot of people turn to look as I enter. Well, I seem to be one of three women in this place. Jeez. I scan the place looking for Gregory Armentrout. I see him at the end of the bar. He's surrounded by some other shadier looking guys. Just great. I head over to that side of the bar and sit a few stools away from him. I recognize Manny behind the bar. I pout out my lip and sigh.
"What'll it be miss?" Manny questions with a small smirk. I see the mischief in his hazel eyes. Manny is pretty tall, and also Latino. I'm not quite sure which country his family is from. He's got short dark brown, almost black, hair. He's attractive like all RangeMen are.
"Martini straight up," I reply knowing he'll just give me water. He nods and does his thing before setting it in front of me. I look down the side and see Gregory eyeing me. I send him a coy smile and turn back to Manny.
"I just dumped my boyfriend," I say loud enough so Gregory can hear. "I'm awfully lonely." I see Manny try not to laugh.
"Well sweet cheeks, I don't think a pretty face like yours will be lonely for long," he replies giving me a wink. I give him a half-hearted smile. A throat clears, and I look over to Gregory who is now standing beside me.
"I couldn't help overhearing. Is this seat taken?" he asks gesturing towards the empty seat on my left. I give him a smile and bat my lashes.
"It is now," I reply coyly and he responds with a grin. His green eyes look me up and down, and I suppress a shudder. While he's moderately attractive something is off about him. He traces his finger down my shoulder and arm.
"Name's Greg and what should I call you…" he asks, his eyes drawn to the meager cleavage my wonder bra helped bring to attention. I smile.
"Call me Roxy," I say, "Do you come here often?" He takes a seat and motions for Manny to get him another drink.
"Mmm Roxy, yes I do come here quite often. What brings you here? I haven't seen you before," he responds his hand finding the slit in my skirt. His hand caresses my thigh, and I feel bile rising in my throat. I tamp down my uneasy feelings.
"Just got off work and had nothing else to do since I broke up with my boyfriend," I admit making my voice sound sad. His fingers inch higher, and I fake a giggle. I put my hand over his.
"Greg, my my," I purr looking up at him from beneath my lashes, "Maybe we should get out of here?" I stroke his fingers with mine. I can see the bulge in his pants grow and his pupils dilate. I see him swallow hard before he stands abruptly. He pulls out some cash and lays it on the bar before grabbing my hand and pulling me to the door. Before we exit, he pushes me into the small alcove that has a rack for jackets. His hands are roving all over, and he's shoved his tongue down my throat. Oh god, why. I feel so dirty. I fake some moans and touch the hardening member through his pants.
"Come on," I whisper as I continue touching him, "Let's go somewhere more private." I push him away and smile at him. He's breathing raggedly. I walk out the door in front of him. He better follow me or I'm not going to be happy. I know he's behind me when he smacks my ass. I hold in my emotions, and before I know it the guys have him cuffed. I turn around with a fake look of surprise on my face.
"Greg, what's going on?" I question in a meek, frightened voice. I see Ram and Lester have got him by the arms with his hands cuffed behind his back.
"Don't worry about it Roxy," he says confidently, "I'll see ya when I'm out."
Ha, in his dreams. I give a nod and they take him away to the SUV. They load him up and the car squeals away. I turn, looking for Ranger. He'd usually be here to give me a hug by now. He knows how I usually feel after these distractions. Don't get me wrong, I love getting to put the bad guy away but when they touch me like that…ugh. I shudder at the memory. I walk towards the parking lot and find him by the 911. He's not alone. I feel my heart beat speed up as I see him and Jeanne Ellen standing next to the car. His back is to me. It looks like they're having a quiet, serious conversation. I try sucking in some air. It feels like I've been sucker punched in the gut. Jeanne Ellen Burrows is another bounty hunter in the area. She's like the female equivalent to Ranger. She wears black a lot and has a killer body. I've interacted with her a few times, and she was always classified as a Grade A bitch in my book. Maybe she's different with Ranger. Considering the disaster I am, it's no surprise Ranger would be into her. It was one thing to tail him and see them alone, but for him to flaunt her in front of me so openly? I turn around abruptly to go back towards the bar. I need to get out of here.
Thankfully, I run straight into Manny who is coming out of the bar. He sees me and looks confused. Instead of saying anything he just wraps me in a hug. I try to stop the tears from coming. I feel the hot tears come down my cheeks and soak through his black shirt. I think it's a mixture of the adrenaline from the distraction and hurt from seeing Ranger with someone who isn't me.
"Come on Wifey," he utters soothingly while rubbing my back, "I'll take you home." He's jokingly called me Wifey ever since I pretended to be his wife just so I could check on him when he was in the hospital. I nod mutely. I don't want to talk about my little breakdown. I'm not sure if he thinks it's from the stress of the distraction or if he knows I saw Ranger. He leads me to his car and opens the door for me. I see Binky is already in the front seat. Neither of them questions me as we take off into the night. It's so odd. Usually, Ranger is the one who takes me home after a distraction. He'd wrap me in his arms, press a kiss to my forehead and tell me 'Proud of you, Babe.' Instead, he's too busy with his equal in bounty hunting and looks. I feel another piece of my heart shatter and break off. I need to get a grip.
The car is silent the whole way back to my apartment. Binky waits in the car as Manny walks me up. He does a sweep of the apartment and makes me stand outside while he does.
"Okay wifey," he says with a small smile, "All clear." He gives me a hug and presses a kiss on my forehead.
"I'm here for you if you ever want to talk." I nod and more tears come from my eyes knowing I have people who do support me for me.
"Thanks, Manny. I think I'll be okay," I respond looking up at him. He nods and walks out. I walk inside and lock the doors. I sigh and close my eyes as I lean against the door for a moment. I walk to the kitchen, tap Rex's glass to say goodnight and then I turn the lights off. I enter my bedroom and shrug out of my clothes. I feel emotionally drained. I guess it will take a while to heal after the disappointment of he who must not be named. I pull on a t-shirt, carefully avoiding the worn folded RangeMan shirt at the top of the drawer. I pad to the bathroom, scrub my face and brush my teeth. I look at my reflection in the mirror. I eye myself. I decide I'll be okay and that I'll get through this. I give myself an encouraging thumbs-up and wink before shutting the light off. I'm disappointed, but I have no real reason to be. It's not like he promised me anything at all. I slide into my cool sheets and push him from my mind as I think about my new plan. Exercise, use my gun, kick butt and find a new job. I can do it.
I jolt to awareness without jerking up in bed. The tingling at the back of my neck is intense. I slowly sit up, and I see the silhouette of Ranger in the chair next to the window. I don't think I will ever understand why he likes to sit there. I sigh and flick on the bedside lamp. I'm not really up for one of his little late night visits. My stomach rolls uneasily when I think about his late night visits with Jeanne.
"Babe." His hands are steepled together under his chin, and he seems very tired. Two can play the one-word game.
"Ranger." I swear he is the most frustrating man in the world. Why am I in love with him? Of all people. He assesses me. I'm sure I look a little scary with my bed hair.
"You did a good job tonight. Proud of you," he tells me and it only reminds me of how he was too busy to tell me that earlier. I don't respond to his statement.
"You and Morelli mended things."
He states it rather than asks it as a question. My mouth gapes open unintentionally. Why is he bringing this up now? I narrow my eyes at him.
"Why would you say that?" His lips press into a thin line.
"Lula and Connie." I was surprised at his honesty. I was surprised he cared especially considering the company he's been keeping lately.
"Yes, Joe was here earlier, but whether we mended our relationship or not isn't really your business. Honestly, I'm surprised you care considering I haven't seen much of you in six months," I reply with a little huff, "and you asked me earlier in the car or did you forget?"
The old Stephanie getting some words in edgewise. I can't help that I'm still hurt by what I saw yesterday and earlier tonight. I see a flash of annoyance on his face before all emotion disappears.
"Babe, I…I…nevermind."
He drops his head in his hands. I wonder what he was about to say, but I'm sure he wouldn't tell me even if I asked. I'm tired of this game. I'm tired of only seeing slivers of the man behind the mask. I guess my decision is for the best in every way, even if I've never felt for anyone else what I feel for Ranger. He remains silent and looks up, staring at me intently. I feel my heart breaking a little more.
"So," I question, "is that all you came here for?" I'm tired of him waltzing into my life and only giving me a small part of himself. I know he's helped me more than I could ever repay, and he says no cost, but I feel it in my heart every time he pulls away.
"I'm leaving for a couple months," he responds, "Not sure when I'll be back. Call Tank if you need anything. I just came to say goodbye." All at once relief and fear flood through my system. Relief that my decision will be made easier by Ranger's absence and fear that he could get seriously hurt and not return. I decide to give in to the emotion just for a moment. It may be the last time I ever see him. I pray it's not, and I haven't been a good Catholic for a few years. I hope God will still listen. I stand and bend down to wrap him in a hug. I rest my head on his shoulder. I feel his strength flowing through me. If only I could have all of him and not just small pieces. I hold back the tears that want to rush in.
"Stay safe Batman, don't get shot," I whisper knowing I wouldn't survive a world in which Ranger doesn't exist. I could survive knowing I could never have him as long as I knew he was alive, but if he was dead—I can't think of it. I feel his small smile.
"Don't go crazy, Babe." I stand back and he rises. He tilts his head and looks down at me. I'm mesmerized by his eyes, usually controlled and unemotional. He's been more open with me in regards to his emotions lately. He tilts his head down, and he claims the kiss. I sigh and melt into his arms. I memorize his smell, the feel of his lips on mine and the look in his eyes. I don't want to forget. I want to keep this image of Ranger to remember. I don't want to remember his harsh words and his qualifiers. Suddenly, the memory of Jeanne's blonde hair floods my mind and the moment is ruined. I pull away, turning my back to Ranger. He wraps his arms around me and nuzzles my neck. He makes this so hard. I pull away again. Why do all the men in my life have another woman?
"Babe," he says in a strained voice, and he sounds…pained, upset. I turn and see the confusion and worry in his eyes. I refuse to tell him more than what he asks. I deserve more.
"Stay safe Ranger." My tone leaves no room for anything else to be said. I walk Ranger out. He turns, much like Joe, only I long for more with Ranger and I can't have it.
"I'll call when I get back." I do a short head bob. I close the door and re-lock it. I thunk my forehead against the door and tears stream silently down my face. Why does life have to be so complicated?