LongAN: OhMyGoshHeyHiHowYouDoing? I sincerely hope everyone has had a good week so far, and that the goodness transcends into the weekend. It's Friday so...rejoice! No seriously. Be happy. Smile. The week is almost over. I'll even give you a few seconds to go to youtube, pick your fav song you jam to when you're alone, and dance it out.
7...6...5...4...3...2...1.
You...you done? Ok good. Bet you feel better dontcha?
Anywhoo, in all seriousness, I have some people to thank. anime4eva222 and IndigoArcher89. You guys are my favorites this week. You gave me great feedback while being polite and telling me a few mistakes I made which I happily took care of. You weren't rude or obtrusive, and I really appreciated that, so a hundred glory points goes out to both of you little darlings.
I've been having a lot of problems with my computer lately (viruses, it shutting down on me, etc.) And I need that kind of thing now more then ever since I lost my favorite beta reader. *sighs heavily*
You might've noted my writing was a bit off the past two chapters and I do apologize for that and I probably will go back and re-edit. I kind of rushed them. But I really worked hard on this one (even had a long jam session to Christmas music to get the creative juices flowing) and though I am sorry to say there is no yummy Inu in it (I'M SORRY DONT THROW THINGS AT ME HE WILL DEFINITELY BE IN THE NEXT ONE I PROMISE!) I do like how it turned out. So enjoy.
And you see that little button down at the bottom of the page? Yea...you know what to do with it ;)
Wall-Of-Thanks:
future writer, lilith-the-fallen, EurydicesRevenge, Larissa, and of course, anime4eva222, and IndigoArcher89. Cybernetic hugs for everyone!
Song inspiration for this chapter: M83—Wait
This Shining Armor Of Mine
Chapter 3. The Heart Wants
When she moved or walked the cape dragged along the concrete, swishing and dancing in-between her legs like a attention seeking feline. Her hands, freshly manicured and trembling, fisted into the velvety material, pulling it upwards slightly. It wouldn't do if she were to trip. Not now. Not here. With all the eyes in the world watching her every intake of breath with intense focus, waiting for her to show up and be spectacular or screw up if she didn't, nothing would've been worse than losing the meager respect she already retained.
The cape was draped over her shoulder-blades, heavy literally and figuratively—the weight of the world resting upon her. But it was much to long, meant for someone of much larger stature and bigger build. Had the people of Nagimitama been given more time to prepare, her uniform might've appeared properly fitted, properly sized for her willowy yet curvy frame. The garment still was substantial enough that when she'd looked in the mirror that morning, what she hadn't seen (and knew she wouldn't) wasn't a strong leader.
A captain.
No, what Kagome had seen was a girl, a young woman, maybe seventeen or eighteen, engulfed in an official uniform dyed the color pitch, with boots that gleamed in the light-beams like sable diamonds. She looked like a child playing dress-up in her father's clothing. The arms of the jacket were far to long, and as a result she'd rolled them up to her wrists. The pants had been too baggy; she'd belted the waist tightly and stuffed the hems into the boots, the singular things that were fitted accurately.
She fidgeted with the cape again, eyes jumping, never landing on a spot longer than a millisecond.
"Stop that," Eri's voice—usually so chipper and blasé—now clipped and full of purpose, edging into Kagome's thoughts. Her friend lightly batted her hands away from the edges of the fine cape while they walked. "You look fine."
Kagome said, "I look like a child."
"No. You don't. We've been over this. I look like the child." She gestured dully to her uniform, now Kagome's old, modest uniform, with a wrinkle creasing her nose. "You look like a force to be reckon with."
Kagome moved her eyes down the empty hall, expressionless. "I look like a peacock." And she felt like one, too. All swaggered up and entirely overly polished for her liking.
"It could be worse," Eri said, catching the unhappy twist to Kagome's lips. "You could have a matching hat with feathered plume."
Kagome gave a little laugh that sounded suspiciously like a sob, smiling sadly at her friend who wouldn't be with her for much longer. After the ceremony and dinner banquet, she'd be spending most of her time with the agents of squad Six, training with them and guarding the city with them, and rooming with the other captains a floor or two up. She hadn't yet been moved, or introduced to any of her new comrades, but everything had a certain finality to it. Everything was out of her control. Her world had spun on its axis so suddenly, she was still stumbling to righten herself and catch up.
"You," He'd said, with a break in his whimsical baritone. Hitomi's eyes had been wavering all over the place until this point. Now he stared at her directly—at her, only her. Muddy brown and blue-grey collided. His lips had parted, his words overflowing like grains of rice spilled from a fallen satchel, overwhelming and sudden. "The chief decided you're to be the next captain."
That had been yesterday, and yet she still reeled from the blow of his words. She felt as if many a decade had passed her by since then, as if she were moving through mud, slow and sluggish, while the rest of the world dashed past her in a whiz of blurred color and buzzing sound. So much had changed.
A sudden, and rather ungraceful stumble came from her. Eri stopped, glancing at her curiously. Kagome hissed sharply through her teeth, glaring down at the offending black fabric pooled around her feet with disdain. She hiked it up again and kept going, her nose upturned with a new mentality which made sure that that would never happen again. There was too much as stake now.
Yes. Much had changed.
xXx
The instatement ceremony was to be a grand thing. Or, at least, thats what everyone kept telling her.
It was to be held in the Great Hall with everyone attending; the cadets, the years new graduates, all nine captains, four officials, and the chief himself. Currently, everyone was at the funeral proceedings, paying respects to the fallen men who had bravely sacrificed themselves for the cause. She would've attended, and wanted to, but Hitomi had told her and Eri to stay behind and get ready for, what he called, Kagome's 'special day.'
After they returned and got into place, she would walk down the long corridor which connected each dormitory to the next: a symbol of her journey through all stages at some point. She would be saluted by all, stared at by all, and envied by all. After which she would be officially ushered in as the official captain of squad Six. There was to be a dinner and perhaps some dancing and music.
And then life would move on.
"What am I going to do without you?" Kagome mumbled conversationally, twirling her hair around one finger. "I'll be bored to death."
"Oh yes, you'll be bored alright," Eri snickered, rifling through their small dresser drawers. "You'll be so bored by all the action on the battle field—destroying the rouges day after day. Spending your nights," she sighed wistfully, thinking about it as if war-life was romantic, "with your fellow captains and sleeping in the captains quarters."
Kagome sat up from her slouched position, knocking her pillow to the floor. "Eri Okada," she said, mocking and light. "Do I detect a hint of envy in your words? I'm shocked, really."
"No. No you do not." She continued digging, flinging random items aside while she searched. "Why would I be jealous? What with all of the action I'll be getting at the wall, I'll be to busy to be jealous."
From the way Eri had purred the word action, sinful and needy,Kagome knew from experience that her friend hadn't been talking about fighting with the demon rouges.
Kagome laughed, rocking backward. "Do you ever think about anything other than boys?"
Eri finally glanced up, eyes half-lidded, a loopy smirk on her mouth. "Nope."
"Never?"
"Never, not once. And neither should you."
Kagome's hand fluttered to her chest, batting her eyes. "Me?"
"Yes you, captain," Eri drawled, mouth quirked.
While she giggled, Kagome's mind, of course, instantly wandered to Hitomi…who at this very moment, she knew, was with the other nine captains, discussing the newly implemented schedule they'd be using, effective the next day.
She smiled to herself fondly, looking away.
Eri had her face nearly shoved in the drawer now, missing the gentleness that caused Kagome's features to grow soft. "You need a man in your life. You've never even had a boyfriend."
The tenderness faded as quickly as it had come. Yes, it was true: she'd never had a boyfriend. Never held a boy so intimately it made her want to cry. Never even kissed someone. She'd never been in love. But oh, how she yearned for it.
From time to time, the overbearing want to love someone became to strong. She had her friends, yes. She had her family…sort of. But to truly be in love, drunk with it, hopelessly and idiotically drunk with it…well. That had yet to happen.
She figured that she wouldn't experience it for a while, not with her extraordinary 'skills' and great knack for killing demons in her spare time. Those weren't the normal turn-ons, and the boys tended to shy away from her anyway. Hojo and Hitomi were the only exception. And she doubted that her new captains title would have guys knocking down her door.
But she still wished for it, hoped for it. Waited on it. The craving for companionship was more prominent on the mornings she spent at the Wall, piercing all the world with her gaze, seeking for more than a life behind a concrete enclosure. She'd rest a while and stare at the world about her until the sun broke the sky, making up stories in her head about the adventures she'd have past the walls of the city, in the countryside, free as a butterfly.
Some of her daydreams had romances in them. Some did not. Most did, though.
"Oh well," she shrugged, leaning back against the wall behind her cot. The heart wanted what the heart wanted.
"What are you looking for?" Kagome asked, breaking herself from her own imagination. "You've been rummaging around in there for half an hour. The drawer isn't that big."
Eri mumbled halfway to herself, not looking up, "I was sure I put it in here. And hey—it may not look like it, but this drawer is pretty deep."
Kagome stifled a snort of amusement and went back to twiddling her hair, trying to appear aloof and calm. But on the inside she felt herself trembling like a leaf. She could feel the nervousness bubbling, steadily stewing in her stomach. Her foot began to tap a nameless beat.
She glanced at the clock with her eyes, watching the second hand tick, tick, tick away. There was only an hour until it was three. The ceremony began at three. Her nervousness intensified tenfold.
Eri slammed the drawer shut, huffing. "I could've sworn it was in there!" She marched around her singular cot a few feet away, spewing curses under breath. Thankfully no one heard besides Kagome—the dorm room was completely empty save for them.
She ducked underneath the bed, and Kagome lost sight of her for a moment. She folded her legs atop her cot and waited. A few loose things were rolled and thrown out from underneath the bed, a dirty shirt, a hair band—Eri still muttering away while she searched. Kagome craned her neck as a decretive tin rolled underneath her own cot.
"Ah-ha!" Eri screeched gleefully, jumping up and scaring the daylights out of Kagome. She held her hand aloft, high in a bunched fist above her head. "Found it!"
Kagome glowered at her, pressing a hand to her chest, over her frantic heart. "Found what? What's got you so loopy?"
Eri held her hand out and uncurled her fingers, reveling a small pouch. "This," she beamed, her mocha eyes sparkling.
"Thats what you've been running around here looking for?" Kagome asked, peering down at the simple beige, drawstring pouch. It certainly didn't look like much, not something worth spending over a half an hour searching for.
"Yep."
"And thats...good?" Kagome asked slowly, eyebrows knitting.
Eri shook her head sadly, grinning still. "Oh, my naive little captain. Weren't you ever told never to judge a book by its cover?"
She shifted a little, wrapping her arms around her knees."...Yes?"
Eri didn't speak for a few long seconds, looking at Kabgome with what made her feel like she was being assessed. "Good," Eri said eventually, playful, pulling on the strings.
Eri reached carefully into the pouch, gauging Kagome's reaction as she tilted forward, trying to get a peek inside. And when Eri finally produced the small object she'd been looking for so intently, Kagome's mouth went slack.
It was a hair accessory. But this was not just any mediocre, girly bauble. This was obviously something of value—both personal and appraisable. It was silver, shaped vaguely like a butterfly, with deep, blue sapphire stones inlaid in the carefully crafted and shimmering metal. It was beautiful, truly.
"Where did you...?" Kagome trailed, her words breathy, reaching out her fingers as if to grab it.
Eri cupped the hair pin to her heart. "It was my mothers. She wore it to her wedding and before she..." She swallowed audibly, eyes flicking up at Kagome before quickly darting away. "You know."
Kagome wet her lips uncomfortably, reaching out again, though this time it was to pat Eri's arm in a comforting gesture.
Eri's mother had died fighting on the line of duty. The woman had been one of the first field agents to join and serve the Aramitama sector when it had first been assembled, and passed away only months after Eri had been born. Her death was the main reason Eri had joined the field agents in the first place.
"Anyway," Eri cleared her throat forcefully, blinking. "My grandmother gave this to me when I got my acceptance letter to Aramitama. And I thought…I dunno," She shrugged, "that maybe you'd want to wear it today."
The very corners of Kagome's mouth trembled and she blinked to restrain a few tears that threatened to fall. "Thank you," she said at length, managing a wobbly smile.
Eri nodded, a flicker of kindness passing over her. Then she twirled her finger in the air, all business once again, gesturing for Kagome to turn around. Kagome obeyed, hands folded patiently in her lap. Eri picked up a brush, handed a small mirror to Kagome so she could watch. And then she worked her magic.
xXx
She blew out a breath, pushing the cape behind her leg while she turned on her heel and resumed pacing. Her palms were clammy. A bead of sweat trailed down the length of her neck and disappeared underneath her shirt collar.
"What's taking so long?" She wondered, sucking her bottom lip into her mouth and nibbling on the sensitive skin.
After she was finished getting ready, Eri had walked with her down the Great Hall. She'd gave her a reassuring hug, a reassuring smile, and disappeared behind a mammoth set of doors where everyone else was congregated. The same doors she'd been pacing in front of for nearly twenty minuets.
She sat on one of the edge of the floor length windows, gazing out the window at the cityscape. Stood up again, restless. She wriggled a finger between the two golden clasps pressed against her throat and pushed the cape away slightly, swallowing a breath.
Her gaze wandered to the doors. "Why won't they just hurry up?"
Kagome marched over and pressed one ear to the smooth wood, eyes fluttering closed in concentration. She could hear dull murmuring; a lot of voices spoke at once, creating a constant buzz of noise. Nothing helpful.
She sighed and stepped away, fisting her hands in her cape. It was becoming a habit, one she tried to avoid. She thought it made her look a tad weak, if not a bit childish. But she needed something resembling comfort. Needed something. Someone. Someone to wrap their arms around her and whisper, "It'll be okay. You'll see. It will all work out in the end."
She paced slowly to the windows once more, pressing the very tips against of her fingers against the glass, watching the city pulse with life and activity, people and merchants continuing on with their duly lives. Kagome observed, and let her mind wander.
Her mother.
Her brother.
What where they doing today? Had word carried to them of her new position? Surely they had. Gossip spread, no matter the state of the world. Were they...proud? Scared for her safety? Or did they simply wish to be with her? Did they miss her as much as she did them?
Her mother probably didn't care too much. Though she certainly wouldn't say, perhaps she had a twinge of feeling every now and then, a remaining sense of motherly care for her children.
Souta...well, anything that had to do with fighting was worth his interest.
Kagome could practically see and hear him now, hopping around like an overexcited puppy. "You're a soldier now, sis!" He'd say, his brown eyes, just like their fathers, glinting animatedly."And not just any solider—you're the head soldier!"
She chuckled. He was such a little knucklehead.
Her hands curled into fists. The smile faded.
She missed him. So much.
"Kagome?"
She spun, misty eyes falling on Hitomi who was peeking out from behind one of the doors.
"Sorry," she blurted. "I...I didn't even hear you. A-are they ready for me?"
He seemed to take the question seriously, contemplating for a good while. But when he spoke again, it had nothing to do with this day or her question at all. Instead Hitomi said, "You look beautiful."
Kagome's heart skipped almost painfully in her chest. She ducked her head, fighting off a blush. After a moment she risked a peek at him through the gaps in her bangs. The sincerity of his gaze hadn't changed.
"Th-thank you," she said, hands going to the damned cape.
Eri had done everything in her power to make Kagome look flawless. She'd brushed her hair to a sheen, then carefully twisted and pinned it back until half of it was in a neat little bun, while the rest fell down the length of her spine in waves, leaving little tendrils curling around her face. Then, with a kiss placed on the metal, she'd stuck the pin into the bun.
While Kagome had thought she was finished, Eri had told her there was still one more thing to do. She dusted a bit of pale powder over her face and neck, then added a bit of blush to her cheekbones and lined her lash-line with kohl. Kagome had protested at first, knowing how expensive and hard to find makeup was. But Eri had insisted in that stubborn and charming way she usually did.
"There," Eri'd said, finally, cupping Kagome's chin and tilting her head this way and that. "Now you're ready."
Kagome shuddered a breath as she watched Hitomi slip through the doorway, moving towards her. "Eri—she did it for me. I...don't know anything about makeup."
"Even still," he murmured when he stood a few feet away.
A heavy silence fell, speaking for them when their words couldn't. The hall was noiseless, except for the quiet sound of their breathing. Kagome was the one to break it.
"I'm...scared," she finally admitted. She thought it might feel better, to say the words aloud, but instead they only made her feel pathetic and weak. She was scared to walk into that room. Scared to fail. Scared to die. Scared to fight.
Fighting the rouges had seemed like the right thing to do up until this point. Even when she felt terribly out of place at the dorms—quiet and shy where her roommates where loud and social—she always had her powers to turn to, her longbow to return to, the practices to take her mind away from the insanity that made up her life. But, now, even that felt like it were failing her.
"It's okay to feel the way you're feeling right now, but you'll be just fine." Hitomi said, wringing out his hands as if he were itching to reach out and hold her. "I know you will. I've been in this game for a long time and I've known you for even longer. And I know that you're going to be one of those captains that everyone loves and admires."
"Yeah. I'm sure."
His eyes hardened, determined. "I mean it. Look how much you care, how hard your training, and you haven't been a field agent for more than three days."
Kagome licked her lips while she listened, silent, eyes sliding over his shoulder, focusing on nothing.
Hitomi shifted when she said nothing, forcing her to return her gaze. "Remember what I asked you to do when you first got here?"
Kagome pondered for a second, thinking back, and then realized what he was referring to. Reluctantly, she smirked, bashfully digging the toe of her boot into the floor. "You told me to kick some ass."
"That I did. And here you are." He opened his arms wide, gesturing to her splendor. "Kicking ass. Managing a head title not even a month out of the end of your training. I must say, captain Higurashi, I am impressed."
Kagome tried, and failed miserably, to hide a smile. "Thanks. It's just daunting, you know? Knowing that I have something to prove."
Hitomi gently pressed his hand into the small of her back, guiding her forward. "Yeah. I know the feeling. But it's get better. Trust me."
They stopped at the large doors, and Kagome gulped, once against fidgeting with the clasps pressing against her throat. "I feel like I'm in a monkey suit. I wish I could just wear my field uniform."
Hitomi chuckled and rapped his knuckles twice against the doors. "I understand that feeing, too."
Both doors swept open at his command, revealing a cathedral-esk room packed with people. People that stopped in their conversation to turn to stare, pining her to the spot. Some were smiling. Some she recognized. Others were obviously sizing her up, not even trying to be discreet. The slightly awkward position wouldn't have been the worst thing in the world except Hitomi took that moment to lightly pat her on the back, winking while a grin carved his mouth before joining them.
And there she stood, alone under the weight of several hundred eyes, her hands knotting themselves into her cape. The room temperature spiked.
Light flooded in through windows near the ceiling, illuminating the cadets and field agents that were in middle of the room, congregated in one mass of bodies. The captains stood in two neat rows on the small set of stairs at the head of the room, hands folded in front of themselves, with Tsubaki and Hitomi leading the head of the pack.
At the top of the stairs stood the four officials, representing each of the four regions that made up the city: Aramitama, Nigimitama, Kushimitama, Sakimitama. And beyond them, on the very top of the fifth step—the chief.
Kagome felt her hands shake. The chief.
Even though his eyes were hidden by a dark veil of bangs, she felt like an insect being dissected under his steady gaze. He wore a pressed suit and polished shoes. His hair hung long in loose waves, hanging all the way down to his waist. She felt her eyes meet with his, though she couldn't see them, a half sided smirk made his lips twitch.
Kagome quickly recaptured her gaze and shifted it, eyes landing on a young boy, perhaps a year or two older than her own brother, standing behind the important man off in the shadows. His brownish hair was tugged into a neat little ponytail on the crown of his head, and although his bangs also fell in his face, Kagome could clearly see his eyes. And they were dull, aimlessly staring at the throng of cadets and soldiers, mouth set in a thin line that was contradicting when used by his juvenile features.
He looked as though the soul had been ripped right from him.
Kagome's gut summersaulted.
The chief casually raised one hand and a hush descended on the room.
"Kagome Higurashi," the man said, voice ricocheting of the high-vaulted beams that sculpted the room. He sounded like we was everywhere and nowhere all at once. "Approach."
Kagome leveled her shoulders and tore her attention from the young man, gathering up the full cape slightly so it wouldn't drag. Lifting her chin, she fixed her gaze on the chief and made her way slowly down the isle. The field agents shuffled aside for her, parting so she could pass.
A murmur rippled through the crowd, every eye swept over her, judging her. When she found him in the sea of bodies, Hitomi's lips twitched, nodding once in encouragement as she drew near.
She kept her head high, even when her eyes stung, even when her legs turned to jelly, focusing on walking. One step after another as the crowd parted before her, then closed in her wake.
The captains on the staircases shifted as one booted heel hit the first stair. The chief's smirk widened in pleasure. As she raised her head, her eyes fluttering upwards, foot landing on the third step, the damnable cape twisted around her thigh and she stumbled.
Hitomi reacted instantly, reaching out his hands to help. But before he could get to her, another hand was in his place.
Kagome gasped mutely, head bowed as a spark of...something shot up and down her arm. A large, shockingly cold hand was wrapped around her noticeably smaller one before she had the chance to fall. She lifted her gaze, eyes wide at the sight of the chief. His face was now visible as she stood a good foot underneath him on the stairs.
He was surprisingly young-faced, with cheekbones sharp enough to cut and an even sharper jawline. But his eyes were truly something. They were so red they nearly bled, a deep color that was almost purple.
"Are you alright?" He asked, the corners of his lips creasing.
Her tongue froze in her mouth. His thumb gently grazed over her knuckles and the small hairs on her neck stood on end.
She could feel him.
Not just his skin. Not just his nearness. But Kagome could actually feel him. When their hands touched, something shifted. Something tangible that twisted in the air around them when his hand enclosed over hers.
Her brow knit in confusion. "Why...why can I feel him?"
She had never sensed someone to this degree. Sure she had always been a good people reader, but this—this was something else entirely. The Wall briefly came to mind, with its barrier. Only she had been able to feel it. Only she and captain Tsubaki. Had the other captain noticed the chiefs off aura as well?
It was as if the switch to his aura had been switched on, becoming viable to Kagome. Despite her uncertainty, Kagome could practically see it ebbing and twisting and...writhing around him.
It was a dark, dark thing.
She hastily snatched her hand back, withholding herself from wiping it off as if it were covered in slime. She covered her repulsion by blinding him with a sugary smile. "Yes. I'm sorry. This cape is just to large for me I'm afraid."
The chief, and a few others near enough to her the charming response, chuckled. "I see. I'll have the tailor make the proper adjustments for you soon."
He gestured for her to stand by his side and she awkwardly obliged, climbing the last step, glancing backwards and glaring at the very end of her cape. "Behave."
The ceremony was rather quick and relatively painless. The four officials and all nine captains signed the agreement of her instatement, then the chief, and at last Kagome. It was then sealed and stamped with the ceremonial wax.
At last she was instructed to kneel. Once she was on bended knee, the chief, hands gripped on either side of the original document created by the first agents, swore her in, speaking a series of vows that Kagome repeated.
"I solemnly swear to guard the people of Shikon according to the laws and customs laid down by the generations of past captains," she recited.
"I will use all the power bestowed on me to further the good of the common man,to protect every man and woman under my supervision, and to mete out justice to the rebels as my forefathers have done before me. All this, I promise to do today and for all the days of my command, before all the witnesses; weather they be of the Earth, the heavens, or the Kami themselves."
The chief lifted his chin, motioning for her to stand. "I hereby proclaim you Captain Higurashi of squad Six."
The crowd, as if one, lifted their hands to their hearts, the other hand going behind their backs. Kagome took a breath, felt her lips tremble with a smile as she caught the heart filled and admiring looks of her friends, and returned a salut of her own.
The crowd erupted into deafening cheers.