Aftermath

By: MusketeerAdventure

Summary: The cost of doing business leaves Bravo Team reeling.

Chapter Four: Jason reappears to find his family waiting and ready to help.

Jason emerged from a cavernous, winding tunnel seated in a green and red striped sofa chair.

Senses whirling, he turned toward the entrance and could just make out the dark path leading back into the void. At its breach, there the child stood staring at him; brown eyes filled with dread; his hair, face; and clothes dusty with sand. Throat constricting, Jason attempted to swallow down his guilt as he distinctly remembered the boy's agony from a year ago, while he lay dying in his arms.

Perplexed, he watched as the child waited at the opening and held out his hand, urging him to come. Jason studied the solemn face, and pressed his lips firmly together... decision made. He wasn't going back. Regret overwhelmed him, but he could not reenter. Would not reenter and remain a willing captive.

Tentatively, the child stepped back; and lowered his outstretched hand as the entrance closed in around him.

Confused, and a bit relieved, Jason turned away from the now empty space, to regard his surroundings….on alert. Coming in from the dark was a jarring experience that left him with an unsettled feeling in the pit of his stomach. Where was he exactly?

Squinting against the glare of a nearby floor lamp he was surprised to see Ray, then most of his team gathered around, with Ellis' arms wrapped around his neck.

Overt affection from her was rare. Like him, Ellis was not usually a tactile person, so he pet her lightly on the back and waited patiently for her to let him go. When she exclaimed, "Thank God", his antennae tuned in to the possibility of trouble. Looking to Ray in order to get a sense of context, he received the nod that all was clear.

When she let go of his neck and leaned back to get a good look at him, Sonny's, "Fuck Jason, you scared the shit out us", took him aback, and he wracked his brain as to the man's reaction. He wondered how he should respond, but needn't have worried as Sonny moved away – beer in hand to sit gravely next to Davis; who sat perched on the edge of the matching green and red striped sofa across from him.

Their identical twin glares would have been funny, if he knew what the hell was going on.

Trent and Brock hung back with apprehensive looks of concern, while Cerberus weaved in and out between their ankles panting with agitation. Clay was nowhere to be seen.

Head pounding, heart racing he turned to his best friend and asked, "Ray?" Counting on his right hand man to give it to him straight and leave nothing out. Quietly Ray took position; braced on one knee by his side and began to speak softly – his tone low and even. Taking that as a cue, Cerberus inched forward and leapt into his lap. Reaching down, Jason rubbed behind her ears to give some comfort and he a much needed touchstone.

For the next hour, Jason sat listening intently over the noise in the room as Ray talked him through what had apparently transpired over the last few hours of his life. He could hear the urgency in Ray's voice so nodded as if he understood what his number two was going on about.

However, try as he might, he had no memory of walking off the C-17; leaving base; hitting the diner with Ellis or freaking out. And definitely, had no recollection of how he got here to her apartment with the whole team milling around him like mother hens; walking on egg shells so as not to upset him.

Though he believed every word of Ray's narrative, he found it hard to comprehend or even explain his actions. Had he finally stepped over the edge? Had the psychiatrist Dr. what's her name been right all along? He wasn't sure.

What he did know was that his head hurt like hell and the ringing in his ears was a goddam nuisance. Jason rubbed at his temples and noticed that along with the very real sensation of an ice pick embedded in his left eye; the room was now bathed in an olive green aura, thick and wavy – distorting his vision. What the hell, he thought and groaned with impatience.

Despite his physical discomfort, Jason was glad to see his team. It meant they had his back, but God Almighty, he just needed some peace. Their voices of concern, words of support, pats on the back…though appreciated were like nails screeching across a chalkboard. The instinct to cover his ears was strong, but he resisted the urge and stroked Cerberus the more for it…her low, pleased growls – an incentive to continue.

If everyone would just shut up and leave him be for just a minute, maybe he could gather his wits and make sense of this situation.

Searching the room, he locked eyes with Ellis – silently thanking her for her concern; glad she had reached out to the others, but letting her know how pissed he was with all of the attention. She ignored him and shrugged her shoulders; as if to say, "Too bad. Deal with it."

Jason closed his eyes to the disturbing green glow, covered his face and hoped his nonverbal body language would send a message to everyone to back off and give him some space. Cerberus deftly exited his lap; however no one else seemed to get it. Instead, the circle seemed to cave in around him even closer. Their apprehension triggering his closed off nature to show as stubbornness.

They weren't going to give up and go away. Letting out an audible sigh, he was resigned to the fact that as Sonny would put it, "Bravo Team stuck together at nauseam." And he loved them for it.

"I'm okay", he whispered to Ray; then in turn to the rest of the group, "There's nothing to worry about, that a few hours of rest won't fix." But when he opened his eyes determined to persuade somebody to drive him home, there stood Nate within the contorted haze of green looking down at him, his expression worried – teetering on afraid.

Blinking to stave off this apparition in front of him, Jason reached out swiftly and grabbed hold of Nate's shirt in a tight fisted grip. Confusion ran rampant and his headache spiked to new levels. This wasn't possible. This was not reality. Nate was dead. He knew this. He was a witness to it. The man's blood still stained not only his hands, but his heart…holding him hostage; making it hard to move forward.

But here he was. Right in front of him, just the way he remembered him. Had he come through the tunnel with him, and unlike the child decided to stay? Never one to shy away from a challenge, Jason stood to his feet and confronted this vision head on. "Nate?" he asked and cupped the side of his face. Flesh and blood; warm to the touch – whole, alive. Nothing like the others, who shimmered, then vanished at his approach.

How could this be?

"Nate" he reiterated, and gathered the man into his arms, now convinced of his presence. "It is you, isn't it?"

Feeling arms hesitantly, then with more confidence, reciprocate his hold and wrap strongly around him, Jason relaxed and held on tighter. This time he wouldn't let go. This time he would be more careful. This time he would keep better watch.

"No Boss", a voice – not Nate's murmured back in his ear. "It's me Clay."

Jason frowned, stood back and held Nate at arm's length to be sure – to get a better look. Mystified he shook his head in the negative – the ice pick embedding deeper through his eye socket down into the base of his skull, sending sparks of light out into the green murky mist.

Blinking, he swayed a bit – but quickly regained his equilibrium.

No, here was Nate. Here was his second chance to make things right; to lift the weight of anguish between them. He had begged forgiveness from all the others whose lives he let slip through his fingers, whose names and faces he could not relinquish; who at first haunted him only in his dreams, but now came to him in the light of day, reminding him of his failures.

So, now he would ask it of Nate.

"I'm sorry", he said fiercely, gripping hold of the man's shoulders. Imploring Nate to listen to his long held speech practiced in his dreams; waiting for the moment when they would meet again and he could plead for pardon.

"Can you forgive me?" he entreated, "It should have been me."

Nate seemed uncertain, and his heartbeat went still. What if he couldn't forgive him? What if Nate wanted to punish him for mistakes made; his lapse in judgement? After all it had been his fault. He was supposed to look after him; keep him safe …not get him killed. What if, like the others he decided to wait in the shadows only to appear in unexpected moments in order to challenge him; torment him...blame him?

Jason held his breath and waited.

Suddenly the ringing in his ears ceased, and where before the room cascaded with noise ….voices tumbling over one another – now there was silence. Jason turned away from Nate's curious stare and searched the faces of his team.

What he saw there gave him pause, and he turned back to study his friend – waiting for absolution.

"There's nothing to forgive Boss; nothing", Nate offered. "But if you need me to say it I will. I forgive you."

Jason let out a breath and swerved to the side, his body tilting on its own accord, as if a rug were pulled from beneath his feet. The murky green haze which engulfed the room receded and seeped out of windows; and beneath the door. His headache lifted, leaving him light headed; floaty – his vision now clear, but uncertain as to what was before him.

Reaching out to grab a hold of Nate and keep from falling he blinked and there in Nate's place materialized the kid, their newbie– helping him to take a seat; kneeling down in front him.

Baffled, Jason scanned the room in search of his friend – only to see that he wasn't there; and judging by the uncomfortable looks he received from the team, he was never there. Pinching the bridge of his nose; Jason leaned over and placed his elbows on his knees. "He isn't here is he?" he inquired to no one in particular and wondered if he were losing his mind.

"No Boss", Clay answered – his bottom lip caught between his teeth.

Lifting his gaze to regard the kid closely, Jason grabbed both sides of his brother's face and peered deep into the gray eyes of someone scared shitless. More scared than he ever saw him in Afghanistan, or even that time he was trapped alone, injured behind enemy lines beneath a destroyed building – or countless other occasions when he was precariously close to death.

No, Nate wasn't here. Nate was lost to him, as were all the others, but here in this room was his team, his family. All of whom had come in search of him, found him in distress and would not abandon him.

"I'm alright" he reassured everyone; and released Clay with a quick comforting squeeze behind his neck. "I'm going to be alright."

Then looking to each in turn assured with conviction, "We're all going to be okay."

After a beat he continued, determined to believe his own declarations…he had to. What choice did he have? "No amount of knocks to the head" he chuckled lightly while tapping his forehead; "uncertainty or guilt will keep us down, as long as we have each other."

And seeing each one nod in affirmation, as if they truly shared his belief; Jason leaned back to rest. His body weary, his mind now somewhat at ease; and the room free of apparition… Jason was grateful to have his family near.

Absolutely certain he would find his way all the way home; not just half way there, as he was now – but entirely there; as long as Bravo stood together.

The End

Well, this ends 'Aftermath'. Thank you for reading. Please leave a review to let me know what you think. Also, thank you so much to everyone for the wonderful reviews; follows and favorites for the previous chapters! As always, your comments mean a great deal – and reading them puts a smile on my face! Also, I'd like to say a special thank you to shiloh99 for your comment which really helped me in delving into Jason's thoughts. I hope everyone enjoyed this.