Sakura would be making a full recovery. It was the first thing the nurse had told her, even before mentioning the lack of infection or that her ear would be regrown. It was about as comforting as the cool green walls and crisp white sheets of her hospital room – sterile, that was the word she was looking for.
It could have been worse.
She'd heard it from half a dozen different people so far. Her parents were happy she was (relatively) fine after her first real mission. Her team-mates were glad she would be ready for action again soon. Kakashi was probably the only one who knew how close to death she'd been, and had seemed appropriately relieved afterwards; on the other hand, nobody except Kakashi himself knew how much of what he said and did was an act.
A cut to the throat instead of the head would mean her bleeding out before reaching Konoha's walls. A solid stab in her eye socket was another almost guaranteed kill. If the prisoner had been through a single year of the Konoha Academy curriculum, Sakura wouldn't have come home at all, rather than as a nervous wreck with her first real injury.
The short not-really-a-fight kept replaying in her head.
She simply hadn't been good enough. Hell, she hadn't known she was really in danger until it was too late. If she wasn't safe as a fully qualified genin against a man who'd repeatedly burned himself trying to eat soup the night before he attacked her, and was wearing manacles, then how could she ever be safe when her missions inevitably pitted her against other ninja?
Sakura reached up to touch the bandages around her right ear. It was scheduled to be regrown later that day. The ear would be submerged in nutrient slop, and then medical jutsu would be used to create new flesh and mould it onto her. The nurse had explained it all to her on her rounds earlier. Sakura remembered the pitying look she'd received along with her hot drink – it had really sucked to be seen as a scared fourteen-year-old girl instead of as a ninja.
She wrote a short note apologising for leaving so quickly because some parts of her personality couldn't be changed, and then climbed out of the window because other parts could.
There was the seed of an idea, and she wanted to try it out as soon as possible. Sakura was restless now, and wanted – no, needed – to be doing something. Thoughts and designs were picked apart and discarded or kept as she hunted through the village.
She couldn't find Sasuke, her first choice for a training partner. He'd always been able to give her the slip at the Academy, so apart from the team training area she had no idea where he might have gone. He could also have just been sleeping in after a stressful first mission, she considered, but he'd not gone a single day without training since they'd been on a team together and Sakura doubted he'd start now.
Kakashi was even worse – on days with no team training, he seemed to simply evaporate. Naruto claimed that he drank and slept around a bunch, but surely a proper ninja would be more, well, dignified than that? Sasuke hadn't even tried to hide his laughter when she'd mentioned that to them.
That left her with two options – the childhood friend who was seemingly never around when Sakura needed her, or the team-mate who was always there no matter how annoying he got and how much she wished he'd leave.
Making up her mind, Sakura set off towards the training ground Ino's team usually met in. Halfway there she stopped when she spotted an orange figure slowly carrying a decent-sized boulder across a field.
-O-
Naruto was glad of any excuse for a break when he spotted Sakura. He dropped his rock and wiped the sweat out of his face.
Naruto was working hard when Sakura found him. He wiped the sweat out of his eyes with his orange top, and then turned away from the boulder he'd been moving, leaving the damp and smelly jumper on top of it. Next time he'd wear just shorts and a t-shirt for training like this, he decided.
Sakura was still slightly pale from blood loss, and her bandages hadn't come off yet. She was wearing the same clothes as usual, including her headband, which was securely fastened on her forehead. She looked a much sorrier sight than she normally did for team meetings or training of any sort. And yet, Naruto couldn't help but notice that she was much colder, harder and more focused than she'd ever been. Even from twenty feet away, he was a little wary of her.
"I need to be better. Can you help me?" The words didn't sound like Sakura. The voice was right, but the tone was too direct. Naruto was slightly uncomfortable with how she'd changed.
"Um," he began, "don't you have an operation to go to? You know, for your..." He gestured at his own ear.
"No," she said. He wasn't going to press the issue.
"In that case, sure. What should I do?" Naruto had no idea what she'd want, or whether he'd be able to help her, but he'd dreamed of some private time with Sakura for years. And it was like his training schedule said in big orange letters at the top: Nothing ventured, nothing gained...
"Try to resist." Sakura focused, wove a set of handseals, and suddenly Naruto's attention was caught by the branch of a tree to her left. It was sturdy, three times his height and with a gnarled trunk. Its leaves swayed in the wind, turning over and revealing their silvery undersides. The tree as a whole moved slightly, scattering small shadows over the ground.
Naruto was unable to look away. On some level he knew he needed to stop Sakura from getting closer, but... the tree distracted him again before he could properly form the thought. Now that he knew what was happening to him, he could feel the distortions around Sakura that pushed his attention away whenever he tried to look at her. He swirled his chakra, trying to break the illusion, but it settled back onto him every time he thought it was gone.
It was almost as frustrating as it was terrifying. Sakura had closed most of the gap between them, hands still holding the final seal of her illusion technique. There was nothing he could do right now to stop her.
She was watching him intently, green eyes wide and staring. The eyes! Naruto focused on her feet and found it much easier to ignore the seductively shifting branch. However, he still wasn't able to move – away, towards her, nothing worked. As soon as he had any intention of moving, it would immediately be derailed. He raised a foot, but it plopped back down when a stray blade of grass caught his eye. His hands twitched out, only to fall to his sides again.
As Sakura stepped almost into range, she carefully slid a kunai into her mouth while maintaining her handseal. The glint of it made Naruto tense involuntarily, and he felt his eyes slide up towards her face. Before he could be fully ensnared again, he tried one last trick.
Naruto closed his eyes. Walking forward and reaching out to both sides of where he knew Sakura must be, he swept his hands inward, grabbed and pulled. He scooped Sakura into his arms and as soon as he interrupted her hands, the illusion broke.
He was standing almost on top of her. Some of her hair was sticking up and tickling his nose, and he could feel her breath whispering over his neck and chest. Her hand was on his stomach, feeling the slight muscle there – and how he wished he'd been more consistent with his sit-up regimen! He was breathing harder than usual, his teenage hormones taking hold. And if he'd noticed that, she would definitely have noticed it too.
Their basically-a-hug had already lasted several seconds, and Sakura hadn't moved away yet. She turned her face up to him, and Naruto noticed – surprised – that he was half a foot taller than her. She was so big in his mind, he'd forgotten how small, how fragile she looked. Her eyes were so very green, and as her lips parted slowly, she licked them nervously…
Then she shook off whatever mood had taken hold of her. "Let's try that again."
"Sure." Naruto cursed himself for not kissing her when he had the chance. After all, what were the odds that he'd ever get a better moment than that?
-O-
When Iruka got back from a routine guard mission, the last thing he expected was his next-door neighbour to drop by and mention a visit from Naruto. After putting his gear away, he immediately set off to find out why Naruto had come to visit him.
It was surprisingly straightforward to find Naruto's distinctive orange outfit. Iruka picked him out of a crowd of shoppers while passing by overhead towards Naruto's home, and immediately dropped down a little way behind him.
"Hey, Naruto. I heard you were looking for me?" Iruka said. It was gratifying to see that he could still sneak up on Naruto, and even more fun to watch him jump.
"Hi! Yeah, I wanted to tell you about my first real ninja mission!" Naruto had a look that Iruka had learned meant he was after something. "I'd love to tell you all about it, if we had some time and space to ourselves..."
"How about we go get some ramen again, then?" Iruka smiled as Naruto beamed. If only everyone was so easily pleased, the world would be a better place. And if everyone were so transparent, that would help too.
As the pair walked towards the ramen stand Iruka had visited with Naruto before, he started to listen to everything that had happened since he'd left – Naruto's discussion with Shino, the boring as hell mission, the sudden danger (although it was unclear what had happened exactly, what with Naruto not being there), and Sakura's new temperament. That last one caused Iruka to stop walking.
"Are you sure? She doesn't want to have her ear fixed?"
"We were talking after training, and she said she wasn't supposed to be outside of the hospital yet. But she showed me and it's not that bad." Naruto pulled a face. "All right – she thought it was fine. I thought it looked weird and gross. But she doesn't want the doctors to repair it."
"I need to talk to her." When Naruto looked like he was about to disagree, Iruka tried to look even sterner than he already did. "Don't forget, I taught her as well as you. And she's not the only one with scars she doesn't want to have healed. It's probably not necessary but I want to make sure."
Naruto looked puzzled so Iruka pointed to the scar that stretched from one cheek to the other, cutting a notch into his nose in the process. "Where is she, do you know?"
"She went home after we trained together. Do you think she might need help?"
"I'm not sure. I'm going to have to put the ramen on hold for now, but we can get some later. Meet me there in two hours or soembarrassing don't know how long this will take. And it's better if Sakura and I have a private conversation."
Iruka remembered roughly where Sakura's parents lived and set off to talk to her. He focused on what she might have gone through to avoid remembering his own scarring experience. It was easier to keep it at arms' length; joke, deflect and project; avoid the turmoil and pain that recalling brought with it.
It was easy to get there. Taking to the rooftops was second nature for him by now, and with a few jumps and dashes, Iruka landed in front of Sakura's house. All the lights were off but he could hear faint sounds from inside.
He rang the doorbell and all noise stopped for a second.
He strained his ears, trying to pick up any sound, no matter how small. Barely detectable footsteps told him a lot about how paranoid Sakura was – she didn't feel safe even in her own home. She opened the door and he struggled not to gasp. He could barely recognise his ex-student. Here was a scared, scarred young woman instead of a happy and optimistic girl.
Even her clothes had changed. Her red dress was replaced with a loose brown-grey robe that she almost disappeared into, and her hair was concealed by a dark grey bandanna. Overall she looked like she was trying to hide. Iruka's eye caught on the one spot of colour – a bright red patch of shining skin, at the top of what remained of her right ear.
"Hello Sakura. I heard from Naruto what happened, and I wanted to talk to you."
"No thank you." Sakura tried to shut the door in his face, but Iruka blocked it with his foot.
"You don't have to talk, just listen to me." After Sakura didn't say anything for a few seconds, he swung the door back open.
"You're not the only person to keep a scar that could have been healed. Nowadays, Konoha's medics can fix anything except eyes and some internal organs, and they can often transplant those too, but there's plenty of people who want a reminder of a particular wound. Look at me." Sakura had been mostly staring at his feet so far, but she flicked her gaze up to his eyes for a moment – and caught on his scar, understanding spreading across her face.
"I almost drowned in my own blood. I don't like talking about it, but it's important that I don't forget about it, because that way I can make sure it never happens again. More than that, because I know I won't forget – or rather can't forget – I can relax and put it aside. It doesn't have to be at the forefront of my mind all the time, because I know that next time I look in a mirror I'll see the scar.
"That's why I kept it. That's why several of the other teachers have small scars, and some of the active ninja have larger ones. You've seen the jounin with half his face burnt off, right? He was working on a fire technique when he almost killed himself. For him, it's about not being reckless. For me, it's about being smarter, not just rushing in without a plan. Whatever your big lesson was, and however you want to remember it, just know this: you can put it aside for a moment, because you'll never lose it.
"Come here." Iruka wasn't sure when he'd started crying, or when Sakura had joined him, but they were both sobbing and hugging each other, drawn together by the shared loss of something undefinable.
-O-
When Team 7 met up for training the next day, there was one person missing. Kakashi had hoped that Sasuke would manage his problems on his own, as there wasn't really any advice he had other than 'get drunk and sleep around for a few years'. Regardless of how free a hand he technically had when it came to his team, saying that to impressionable young genin was the sort of thing that could get Kakashi into rather a lot of trouble. Now, however, he was faced with the unpleasant prospect of having to drag Sasuke to a therapist of some sort.
But first, he'd focus on Naruto and Sakura. After all, they were still lagging behind Sasuke, and needed his help more.
"Naruto! Pick up the pace. You're supposed to be running, not going for a walk in the park!" Truth be told, Kakashi was impressed by how much Naruto had improved again. Before the mission, he'd been much slower. It just went to show that sometimes this teaching thing could be quite easy. Naruto just needed to be pushed as hard as possible, and he'd keep up or die trying. Sakura, on the other hand...
"You can't just hide there forever, you know." She was in the bloody forest. Kakashi considered just leaving her to her own devices, since Sakura was doing everything she could to avoid following his training routine. "Come and run some more laps. And I mean run, not jog half-heartedly and quit when you get tired. It's important to have proper conditioning if you want to be a strong ninja."
Sakura walked out, still in that strange camouflage outfit. Kakashi didn't see the point in it – any time she wanted to change her appearance, she could just use a transformation technique, so it didn't really make a difference when it came to hiding – but maybe it was psychological. He had no idea of what was normal for teenage girls, specifically teenage girls who'd recently been traumatised, so the best he could do was to try to make her a competent ninja and hope she sorted that emotional stuff out on her own.
As she paced after Naruto, who was racing around the grassy field and generally acting like an oversized puppy, he called after them. "I'm going to look for Sasuke. I think he might have gotten lost, or had to take a detour to avoid a black cat or something. Don't slack off, I'll know if you do!" Kakashi left a shadow clone behind to report back to him and dashed away.
He found Sasuke at home with a girl, and was half-tempted to wait for the most embarrassing moment to burst in. Kakashi thought he recognised her as one of Asuma's or Kurenai's lot – definitely a new genin, at least. She wasn't bad-looking for her age and Kakashi was torn between wanting to congratulate Sasuke and maybe get him some booze, and dreading the inevitable when Sakura found out.
Blondie, as he'd nicknamed her in his head, was eyeing Sasuke like a piece of meat. It was slightly off-putting to watch, especially with the way she was running her hands over his arms as she corrected his stance.
And then he realised that Sasuke was just training with her. He was using a single, longer sword instead of the two shorter blades he'd started with and she was guiding him through a rudimentary series of downward cuts and lunges. It was probably for the best overall, Kakashi thought, but he was still faintly disappointed in his student.
"Oi, Sasuke. You missed a team training session today." Kakashi was pleased with the way both of the genin jumped at that. He'd dropped down from the ceiling when they were both looking in the other direction, and hadn't made a sound when he landed. "Make sure it doesn't become a habit. Tomorrow we meet at dawn, so be there on time. We might be going on another mission."
And there it was. The slight tensing of the shoulders, the widening of the eyes. Maybe if Sasuke used his bed for something other than sleeping he'd get this crap out of his system. Otherwise, he'll be a liability the next time there's any blood or corpses, and for a ninja that's a recipe for early retirement.
"Anyway, see you tomorrow. You two have a nice session together. And Sasuke, a longer sword doesn't help if you don't know how to use it." Kakashi smirked and waggled his eyebrows as he left. Sasuke was blushing heavily, while his blond companion didn't seem to notice the double entendre.
When he got back to his other two genin, Sakura had buggered off to do more genjutsu things in the trees. She'd stopped quietly not putting much effort in and was openly defying him now, but he didn't know how to call her on it while she was still so emotionally fragile. Naruto was playing some sort of keep-away with clones of himself and a small leather ball, and although he quickly pretended to have been hard at work with target practice when Kakashi showed himself, the memories of the shadow clone he'd left behind painted a very different picture.
"Naruto, do you remember what I told you?"
"You were going to look for Sasuke?"
"And after that?"
"You'd know if we didn't work hard?"
"Exactly."
"But I did! I ran around a load, and then I thought, 'Wouldn't it be better to practice changing direction at the same time' – you know, like in a real fight – and then I thought I could use my clones for that, but then I needed a target to run towards, and then things got out of hand a bit but it was training, honest!" Naruto looked rather like a puppy that had just had its ball taken away. Kakashi rolled the round leather toy around in his hand.
"You can have it back after training, if you work hard."
Kakashi tended to think in dog metaphors anyway, but with Naruto, it was particularly common. Something about how warm and open he was, combined with his endless energy and enthusiasm (and his lack of sense, Kakashi had to admit to himself) just seemed very canine.
"Anyway, for now you get to do even more training! Isn't life great?" Kakashi motioned for Naruto to copy him, then dropped to the floor, ready to do some abdominal curls. "Try to keep up with me. You'll definitely have to surpass me if you want to get anywhere near to the Hokage's level, after all."
It was a cheap trick but it worked. As Kakashi almost effortlessly performed sit-up after sit-up, Naruto sweated and grunted and did his best to not fall behind. It was honestly impressive that he kept going for as long as he did, but eventually he collapsed backwards and stayed there. Sweat was glistening on his face.
"I'll get you one day, and then I'll make you do sit-ups until you puke. While I do twice as many with no problems and laugh at you!" It was impossible to keep Uzumaki Naruto down for long.
Kakashi chuckled as he picked a blade of grass and tossed it into Naruto's open mouth. "Well, you'll have plenty of spare time in the next week. We've got another mission lined up! And Sakura," he raised his voice, "you'll need to wear something suitable for civilians."
As she walked over out of the forest, he noticed that she was still weaving illusions around herself. Naruto hadn't seemed to notice her approach until his gaze swept right past her.
"What the fuck? There's a hole or something over there!" When Naruto realised where he was pointing, Kakashi had to bite back a laugh. Sakura wasn't the first person to try to become unnoticeable rather than invisible, but of the two or three he knew that had attempted it, none had succeeded. He hoped Sakura moved on sooner rather than later, or she'd fall even further behind Sasuke and be overtaken by Naruto.
"Stop messing around, you two. Sit down over here." Kakashi put as much authority as he could into his voice, and was pleased when both genin instantly did as they were told.
"We're going to be doing a mission tomorrow. I won't explain what exactly the plan is, as that will just make it harder for you to play your roles properly. We're going to be joining a caravan that passes through here on the way to Suna. I'll be the owner of the two carts we're using, and you'll be the children of my sister, who's sadly passed away. Yes, Naruto?" Kakashi stopped as Naruto raised his hand.
"What's she called?"
"Ummm..." There was one name in particular that Kakashi wanted to use, but it wasn't that great of an idea. Then again, he was a jounin – fuck it, there was only so much trouble he could get into. "Kushina. Her name is Kushina."
"Gotcha," Naruto said.
"If there are too many names to remember, someone will slip up. Do we call each other by our real names, or do we get fake ones?" Sakura asked, practical as ever. It was nice to see her use her brain – when Sasuke was around, she tended to contribute less.
"Everyone will use their real names, but don't mention your surnames if you can avoid it. Calling yourself an Uzumaki or Uchiha will instantly mark you as a ninja, so we're all going to be Haruno for the duration of the infiltration, if the subject comes up. Other than that, just make sure to share any details you have to invent with everyone else so our story adds up. But avoid talking about your past if you can. We won't be going that far with the caravan anyway. "
Naruto nodded, trying his best to look thoughtful. Sadly, his over-acting made it look more like a parody. Sakura giggled while Kakashi sighed. Why did I think a subterfuge mission was a good idea?