Chapter Four

2006

With winter midterms down in the history books, Ari couldn't recall a time in her life when she had been so happy to see Friday approach. Sure, it was only a two-day reprieve, and she would be back to the grind of work and school first thing Monday morning, but for the next forty-eight hours she was looking forward to doing a whole lot of nothing. For two days, Ari didn't even want to think about life and the responsibilities that came with it. The midterm week had proven to be Hell on Earth in every facet, and it didn't help that she'd maintained her work schedule on top of it, a mistake she should have learned during the fall midterms.

Ari got out of her shower, wrapping the maroon towel around her petite frame and tucking it into place. She'd had the shower as hot as she could stand it, her skin a rosy hue from the heat. Looking in the bathroom mirror, she could faintly see her reflection through the fog, could see her usually wild curls tamed in wet, limp waves. With a wide swipe of her hand, she cleared some of the fog off the mirror, her reflection staring back at her with exhausted eyes.

"In the end, this is all going to be worth it, Ari," she told herself. "At the end of all this, you'll have that stable career you've always wanted. Everyone is going to be proud of you. You're going to be everything they said you wouldn't. One day, this is all going to be worth it." She repeated the last sentence over and over again to a reflection that didn't appear to believe a word of it.

Leaving the bathroom, the steam followed behind Ari. She was diverted from her path to the bedroom by her phone going off on the coffee table. Moving quickly, she picked up her phone and continued to her bedroom, her eyes scanning the text message and narrowing.

Ari?

Pursing her lips together, she stopped in the doorway and typed out a reply. Who's this?

It was a few moments before she received a reply. It's Drew from CZW. Don't be mad – Claudio passed your number off to me. He'd message you himself, but he's caught up with some students at the moment.

I'm not mad. What's up?

I know your midterms just ended and you're probably wiped, but a few of us are going bowling. It's nobody you haven't met already. Wanna come?

She reread the message a few times. It wasn't a secret she hadn't made any friends since moving to Philadelphia; she was so bogged down with work and school that she didn't have the time to go out and do things. Her first instinct was to politely decline, to change into her warmest pajamas, wrap herself up in her Sailor Moon throw blanket on the couch and watch some TV. But she realized after a moment that going out with some people and letting loose for a night was just what she needed after the week she'd lived through. She also couldn't remember the last time she'd been bowling; it was while she was still in high school, she knew for sure. Ari sat down at the edge of her bed.

Sounds good. I can get ready and meet you there. Just give me the directions.

She put the phone down on the mattress and quickly got dressed. A pair of black jeans and a navy V-neck sweater over a black tank top was her fashion choice for the evening; something that was warm and comfortable but not too warm. She quickly applied eyeliner, mascara, and a coat of lip gloss. She did a side braid on her hair, over her left shoulder. Her phone went off again and she read over the directions. A smile tugged at her lips. Perfect. I'm like two blocks away. I can just walk. Are you there now?

She walked into her living room, to the table by the door. Ari slid her keys and her wallet into the pocket of her jeans. Her phone went off. Not yet. I'm just finishing some stuff. I should be there in about ten minutes. See you soon.

Ari slid her phone into her pocket and slipped on her black boots. Grabbing her burgundy parka from her coat rack, she slid it on and zipped it up, bringing the hood up over her head. Looking out the window, she watched the snow fall lightly. Her lips pursed into a narrow line. She liked the look of pristine white snow, but she hated dealing with it. She hated shoveling snow, hated driving in it, hated the way it looked when the cars drove through it and left it a brown and watery sludge. Ari herself was more partial to spring; she was born in May, and she loved the rain. Being so far away from the Pacific Northwest, whenever it rained, it made her think of home.

She locked up and made her way down the stairs, jamming her hands in her pockets to keep them warm. She walked briskly, a smile on her face. It was cold, but it was a beautiful night, and the moon looked so bright. Ari couldn't help but take in every detail of her surroundings on her way to the bowling alley.

"Ari!"

Up ahead, she spotted Chris standing with a big group of people, dressed in blue jeans and a hooded sweatshirt with the Wu-Tang Clan logo on the front. She recognized a few of the people with him – Chuck Taylor, Danny Havoc, Drake Younger, Eddie Kingston. The one woman with them she vaguely recognized. "You remember the guys, and this here is Gen," Chris told her. She shook hands with everyone. "Should we go in?"

"We're still waiting on Gulak," Chuck announced. He was dressed in a red T-shirt and blue jeans, his hair brushed down. He looked around the parking lot for any sign of Drew's car.

"He should be here any minute. He said he just had something to take care of," Ari told the group.

"There he is. I see him," Drake told them. Ari turned to see Drew making his way through the cars, making his way over towards them. He moved quickly, his hands jammed in his pockets.

"Hey, guys. Sorry, I'm late," Drew apologized. He bumped fists with everyone. "We ready to do this?"

"Should we make teams?" Gen asked. Her red hair was tied back in a ponytail, she wore dark blue jeans and a red parka. Her flowing black top peeked out from the bottom.

"Sure. You wanna be the captain of the other team?" Chris asked her.

"I could."

"Ladies first," Chris told her.

"Eddie."

"Ari, bring it here," Chris told her. She shot a look at Drew and joined Chris.

"This might be the first time I've ever been picked first for a team," she laughed.

"Drake."

Ari nudged Chris. He looked over at her and smiled. "I guess she's made the choice for me. Get over here, Gulak."

Drew grinned at Ari and took his place with her. Gen looked at the remaining people. "Danny."

"I guess that leaves me. Ouch," Chuck said, taking his place with Ari, Drew, and Chris.

"Let's go do this," Chris said, clapping his hands together. Gen grinned.

"Good call getting the medic on your team. You're gonna need her after we mop the floor with you." Ari's eyes widened. The guys laughed. Drew held the door open for everyone to walk through.

"You got anything for that sick burn?" Drake asked. Ari shook her head.

"I'm not packing the kit tonight. It's everyone for themselves," Ari told him with a laugh. She was the last to walk inside. Drew followed behind her, allowing the door to shut behind them.

"How did your midterms go?" he asked her, falling into step beside her.

"Brutal. Absolutely brutal. But I think I did okay," she confessed. "I think I passed, at least."

"I'm glad you're here," he told her.

"For real?"

"Yeah. If you're as bad as you say you are, I'm not gonna be the worst one here," he told her. She laughed.

"Thanks a lot."

"We'll be terrible together. How does that sound?"

"Like a plan."

"So...that is the famous Ari I've heard so much about."

Drew dropped his bag beside the bed and looked over at Tony, who was resting against the headboard, his ankles crossed. He was already in his grey checkered pajama pants and a black sleeveless shirt, his hair brushed out of his face. Straightening his posture, Drew turned his attention to Tony, his face contorting. "The one and only," he answered dryly. The two men fell quiet. Tony watched Drew just stand between the two beds as if his brain had completely stopped. He noticed that his friend looked lost, like he had no idea what he was supposed to do next.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Tony asked. With a sigh, Drew sat down on his bed. Tony readjusted so he was sitting across from Drew. He studied Drew, the way his hands gripped the mattress tightly, the expression on his face as his brain tried to string together the right words to say.

"Dude, I don't even know," Drew started. "I am so confused right now." He shook his head. "Like, the most logical thing I should be feeling is angry, and I should be angry. I should be furious with her. After everything she put me through – the sleepless nights, the anxiety..." He cut himself off and took a deep breath. "I should be grabbing her by the shoulders and shaking the shit out of her for the last six years. And then she shows up, out of the blue, no warning, and I'm just so fucking happy to see her that everything I said I'd do just flew out the window. I mean, is there something wrong with me? Am I totally losing it?"

Tony studied Drew, his lips thinned into a line. Drew was as laid-back as it got; to see him so bothered and rattled was a strange sight. He couldn't ever recall a time where he'd seen Drew so upset. Drew looked at Tony, and he read the conflicting emotions in his eyes. He'd met Drew shortly after Ari's departure on an indie show, and he'd spoken of her so often over the years. Everything around him seemed to remind him of her in some way, shape, or form, especially in Philly. The picture he'd painted for Tony had been beautiful, yet heartbreaking because Tony knew that she had left him behind. Drew never spoke of the circumstances, only mentioning a time or two that he missed having her around.

"So...you're angry that you aren't angry? Am I reading this right?" he asked. With a sigh, Drew put his hands over his face and moved them over his head, ruffling his hair.

"I don't even know, man."

"What exactly happened with her?"

"I don't know. She just left. Six years ago, she just up and left without a word. She cut me out, and now she's one floor above us, and I don't know if I should just leave her alone, or if I should just go to her and shake the hell out of her and ask her what the hell she was thinking." Drew stood. He started to pace. "We were the best of friends. I mean, at least I thought we were. I don't know—maybe in the end, I didn't know her as well as I thought I did."

"Have you asked her why she left?"

"She doesn't have a good answer," Drew said with a roll of his eyes, sitting down on the bed. "I mean, she's right – there isn't really an answer she can give me that I think I'll be happy with. Ari's a smart girl – she definitely knows that. It's just...when she left...I went away for a weekend, and when I came back, she was so depressed. She was in such a bad place, and she wasn't talking. I tried everything I could, but I couldn't pull her out of it. I mean, I tried so hard. She talked about leaving constantly, but I didn't take her seriously. I mean, who can just up and leave a life?"

"She did." Drew looked at Tony, a little taken aback, but he nodded.

"Somehow she did it. And she did it under my nose. I didn't have a clue." Drew got up and started pacing again. "I mean, I can have a million suspicions about what happened, but I don't know. She's never told me. At this rate, she probably never will."

"Relax. You're going to pace a hole in the floor at this rate," Tony pointed out. Drew stopped, turning to Tony and releasing a sigh.

"Maybe I should just go for a walk around the block," he said. "I've got all this energy now. If I don't burn it off, I'm just going to be up all night."

"Do what you gotta do, man. I'm just gonna catch up on some scores and call it a night." Drew was already making his way to the desk to grab a key-card. He left quickly.

Tony swung his legs onto the bed and adjusted so he was comfortable. Reaching for the remote, he huffed. "That guy's still got it so bad," he mused to himself. He turned on the TV and let himself get distracted.

Back in the safety of her hotel room, Ari leaned back against the door and released a choked sob.

Once again they were together, one floor apart, but both Ari and Drew knew that things were different now. While he insisted to Ari that he didn't hate her, Ari knew the cold hard truth was that he was livid with her at the very least. She could sense it in the clipped, concise words he spoke and the small barbs he'd tossed out during the course of the evening to drive home the fact that she had messed up spectacularly. She had been selfish, incredibly selfish, and with six years away and plenty of time to think about things on the flight, she knew that she had to bear the consequences that came with her actions. Even worse than being selfish, she had been reckless with people's feelings. It wasn't like her to be so myopic and egotistical, but six years ago, she had been exactly that. At the time, she may have convinced herself that she was doing the right thing for everyone, but at the time she was so far down in her hole that she failed to see it wasn't her decision to make for anyone, especially Drew.

She slid down the door, to the floor, and sat with her head leaned back against the door while she sniffled and wept softly. Ari knew she had made a mess of things, and she felt terrible. While she knew that she would be heading home in six weeks, she knew that during her time with Bryan and Brie, she was going to have to face the music for the decisions she'd made on her way out of the country.

Her phone went off in her bra strap, startling her out of her pity party. Reaching into her dress, she pulled the phone out and saw it was Bryan calling. She took a moment to catch her breath, wiping her eyes with her fingers. After she caught her breath, she answered the phone and forced a smile on her face even though Bryan couldn't see through the phone. "Hey," she greeted, trying to sound as cheerful as she could.

"Hey, Ari. Just calling to make sure you made it back to the hotel okay."

"Oh, yeah. Drew drives like an old woman. Some things never change. No danger whatsoever."

"I'm glad to hear that," he told her with a laugh. They fell silent. "Are you all right? You seem off."

"I'm fine. Just jet-lagged. You of all people should know how that is."

"That I do." He laughed again. "Brie and I should be there around eight-thirty tomorrow morning. I wanted earlier, but she's telling me I should let you get some rest since you had a long day." She could tell he wasn't all that happy about having to wait around for Ari.

"I could just give you a call when I wake up. I doubt I'll be sleeping past eight. I can give you a call and when you're on your way I'll make sure I have everything ready to go."

"Sounds like a plan." There was another pause. "It's good to see you home, Ari. I've missed you."

She felt the familiar lump in her throat. Blinking back a fresh batch of tears, she smiled sadly and nodded. "I've missed you, too."

"Go get some rest. I'll see you in the morning, Ari. Love you."

"Love you, too." They said their goodbyes and hung up. Pulling herself off the floor, Ari crossed the room to her bag on the bed. She placed her cell phone on the nightstand beside the alarm clock before she started rifling through the bag for a pair of pajamas. She settled on a pair of black and pink shorts and a black tank top. Changing quickly, she dropped the dirty clothing off to the side in her bag, trying her best to keep it separate from her clean clothes. While she was thankful the night was over, Ari's mind was far too busy to let her rest peacefully and she knew it.

"Of course," she grumbled to herself, tying her hair back in a low ponytail.

With a sigh, she turned to the small coffee area and decided to brew herself a cup of tea. She had a book in her bag that she'd been reading for weeks. Looking at the clock, she let her shoulders sag. It was after one in the morning; she knew eight would come quickly, but there was no way she could sleep when her nerves were so frayed. While she waited for the water to heat up, all she could think about was the man downstairs, the one person on the planet she'd hurt so badly, which had been the last thing she'd wanted. All she ever wanted was for him to be happy, the way he had made her happy for so many years by being the perfect shoulder to lean on, the dependable friend in spite of a schedule that took him all over the world, the friend who always knew what to do in any given situation, who always tried to shield her from terrible things. It was a horrible way to thank him for his friendship. But she thought – and still thought – his life would be better if she stayed far away from it.

Drew walked out of the hotel, releasing a relaxed sigh as the cold air hit him smack in the face. It was a beautiful clear night, a handful of stars glittering in the sky. He stood in front, staring up at them, taking in every detail. Jamming his hands into his pockets, he began to walk out of the parking lot, stopping for a couple minutes to sign an autograph for a couple fans who recognized him. Then, he was on his way for a walk, to where he didn't know.

The last thing he had expected was to open the door to find Ari standing on the other side. He wanted to believe she would come back into his orbit at some point, but as the years passed, it was getting harder to believe it would happen. Every time he drove down the street where her old apartment was located, he was always hit with a pang of sadness. Every time he went somewhere they used to hang, he couldn't help but think of those times.

In their time together, she'd opened up to him, told him things about herself that she'd never told anyone else, things that nobody outside of her and Bryan's family knew. It had taken him years to get her to open up, and when she had trusted him enough to do it, it had meant everything. Not even two and a half years later, she was gone.

Drew wasn't a stupid man; he had his suspicions at what, or who, could have driven her to just pack up her life in America and head to another country. He had a feeling he knew who was responsible for her going off-the-grid, who was responsible for her cutting him out of her life. For years he'd wanted to ask what exactly happened when he went away for that one weekend in 2011, but nobody talked about it. When she'd left, people had been surprised, but Drew had been devastated.

He came to a stop at the crosswalk. It had been so strange at the party, watching her tense every time he got close, watching her shrink when she thought he was going to touch her. She had never been like that before. What was her life like now? Was she afraid of him? The thought of her being afraid of him threw him for a loop. Sure, he was angry – as far as he was concerned, he had every right to be angry – but he would never do anything to physically hurt her. She knew that...right?

With a sigh, he crossed the street. He came upon a park two blocks from the hotel, and he decided to stop in and take a look around.

In the time she'd been gone, even as it seemed more and more unlikely, he'd thought about what he'd say to her if she were ever in front of him again. Some days he was more empathetic, other days he was downright furious. It never occurred to him until she left that everything would remind him of her.

But she showed up in front of him, in that dress, her voice launching him into another time and place, a time when things had been far simpler, and all of the hard feelings he had been harboring disappeared for some time. She still remembered their handshake, a handshake they'd spent a lot of time coming up with because she wanted something that was just for the two of them.

Sure, he was still angry. But he was frustrated that he wasn't as angry as he had been a year ago, or even two months before, because being happy to see her made no sense after she chose to disappear. But he had been so happy to see her, so happy to feel her in his arms again and so happy to hear her laugh. Her nervousness also had a way of dissolving his anger, dulling it to an ebb that came out in sarcastic comments during the night. He knew that she could pick up on it; she was quite sensitive. It was what made him want to watch over her in the first place. There was something about her that made him want to protect her.

"Protect her," Drew muttered to himself angrily. "That's all you had to do. Then you went and fell in love with her."