A/N: "Maybe I am addicted...I am outta control..."

Yeah...My voice and Enrique's don't really go well together!

Hola Amigos! How y'all fairing, huh?

I can't say much more than thank you.

For every favorite, every follow, and for the creativity fueling reviews.

So, I present to you the second arc of the talk timeline; somewhere in the middle of the night.

Compared to the previous chapters, this is a slightly longer one; it needed to be.

The third and the final arc should be up soon, though do not hold your breath.

The flight to Canada will be tedious one, so I thought to spare the producers of RB.

Thus, going back to claiming no rights on the show whatsoever.

Mistakes are mine. Story is mine too.

To whomsoever this may concern: -

Without further delay, please proceed!

Staggering Along The Way

Chapter 4 - Time To Talk The Talk Of Talks: Pre-Dawn (II)

Silence, piercing silence overtook the ambiance when Holly didn't say anything further. Seconds morphed into minutes; long, dragged out, torturously slow minutes, that both of them spent rifling through their respective minds.

Gail was still conflicted about what to believe and what to suspect. Her insecurity, that had festered, aggravated, by the years was not something she could very easily refute. She didn't ask Holly to elaborate. She didn't want it to turn stressful. They had a long night of uncertainties ahead, what was the hurry to approach the doom, right? She finished what was probably her fourth drink in the last two hours. The effects of alcohol too had taken a backseat tonight it seemed, not wanting to come in between them and their conversation. Holly had been staring at something beyond the leg of the coffee table for a long time, unmoving. Gail slid down a little, extended her left leg, and when it was within reach, bumped the big toe into Holly's right leg.

Holly wrenched out of her reverie when she felt the unwelcoming poke against her leg. She scowled and swivelled her head to her right. Coming to realization, her features softened. A slow smile snuck upon her lips when she saw Gail tentatively watching her attentively for some reaction, probably a harsh one. "Hey," she muttered, audibly enough for the younger woman to hear.

Gail smiled in return, relieved that Holly didn't lash out. For a minute there she was sure she was going to get a pretty good scolding! "Hi! You got lost somewhere?" She asked and stretched out her left hand, indicating the other woman to pass the bottle of scotch to her.

Holly grabbed the long neck of the bottle and placed the bottom of it in Gail's outstretched palm. "Yeah, it seems like it." She agreed to what Gail had said. Her attention went to her own empty tumbler and instantly confusion marred her composure. "Why isn't this working?" She expressed her concern. The alcohol should have been working by now. She had had four or so pegs of it, hadn't she?

Gail snorted as she poured a drink for herself. "You got me! I was just thinking the same thing." She forwarded the bottle back to Holly. "Maybe this is one of those sneaky bastard ones that only show their true colours the morning after." Gail theorized and lifted her tumbler at eye-level. Her narrowed blue slits surveyed the confusing yet beautiful texture of the thick, ornate glass against the amber of scotch.

Something akin to 'so cute' almost slipped through Holly's mouth, almost. She smiled at Gail's adorable posture and made her own drink, a large one. She raised it and waited to catch the blonde's notice. When the younger woman looked at her a few seconds later, she tipped it in a silent gesture of 'cheers' and took a languid sip. This time, she thought, maybe she should try savouring the drink. Perhaps, then the effects would start to surface. It had been a long while since she had drank this much scotch or any kind of hard liquor. She mostly stuck with beer, wine, or when in a pub she opted for one or two glasses of Jack & Coke. With that sip, she concentrated on the journey of the liquid. She felt the warmth coating the insides of her throat and cascade down, causing the heat to expand all through her midsection. She breathed in deeply and as she exhaled, she prepared herself for the onslaught that was yet to come. "So, where were we?"

Gail smirked at that question. So, it had been a good thing she didn't interrupt Holly's calm, the older woman was warming up it appeared. She watched the brunette consume her drink very slowly and imitated the action. "Why say that to your friend? We both know I am anything but fun." She said in a small voice. She knew it wasn't an easy job keeping up with her. And what Holly had seen of her, she was sure she wasn't synonymous to any words that meant 'fun'.

Holly exhaled heavily through her nose when she heard the question. Her back immediately slackened from previously being ramrod straight in nervous anticipation. She didn't want Gail to ask her to continue where she had left off. She didn't know if she could do it if asked, right that minute. So, this was in comparison an easy one. She laughed softly when an amusing thought crossed her mind.

Gail twisted her face, a little irritated and still deciding if she should be offended or not. "What?" She snapped.

Holly straightened herself, bent her right leg at the knee and slouched forward. She took a few seconds to twist herself so she faced Gail completely and rested the tumbler in front of her on the carpet. "You see um...you know...uh...when you uh...spin a coin... or toss it up...in the air?" She began somewhat hesitantly, coming up with a paradigm.

Gail instantly knew this would be some analogy that was bound to go way above her head. "Yeah, Hol, I know. It's either heads or tails." She replied roughly. "Everybody knows that. What's your point?"

"Ssshhh," Holly scrunched up her face and pressed her right forefinger to her lips a few times. "Don't be impatient." She took a large sip and 'aahhed' satisfyingly. She attempted a very serious look and started her explanation. "It's not always heads or tails. Sometimes, the coin stands on its edge and wobbles...either way. You can't predict the outcome in such situations. But when the coin finally falls, only then you get to know the result." She went back to her drink. "That's what happened with me...actually with us."

Gail was thoroughly confused. She could see Holly was getting a little flail-y. "What's a fucking coin got to do with what happened that night?" She wasn't a very patient person, Holly knew that.

"I tried to control a situation," Holly fell silent. After a second of thoughtfulness she abruptly started again. "I tried to control a situation and it backfired." She looked at Gail, her eyes wide and sad.

"I don't understand, Holly," Gail sighed while rubbing at her forehead. "Please just stop talking in circles and get to the point, will you?"

Holly crossed her legs Indian-style and sat herself straight. "I have known Lisa since medical school." She began in a no-nonsense tone. "She is the kind of person who passes snap judgments about people, all the time. Her priorities in life constitute of materialistic things, money, status, and all such stuff." She finished her drink and gestured for Gail to fill it up. "She has been that way since I have known her. There have been no huge hardships in her life and she has been accustomed to getting what she wants very easily, without much struggle." She mumbled thanks to Gail and lifted her glass to her lips. "I know I am not supposed to recite her bio-data to you but I swear this will make sense. There are certain things, deep, emotional, meaningful things in my life that she doesn't understand. And that's okay with me because I know she is not a bad person. She doesn't do it intentionally. She just is like that...it's in her nature." She breathed in and out. "That night when she started talking about your job, I knew I had to stop her from going further. So, I did what I always do. I deflected. I spoke the language she understands to prevent her from speaking anything about your job or our relationship." Holly scoffed and shrugged her shoulders. "I mean for god's sake, she doesn't even want to understand why I do what I do?"

Gail shook her head disapprovingly still unable to comprehend the logic of it all. "So, you can't actually talk to her, she doesn't understand you or respects your job, and she thinks that anyone who is a doctor should be working in a major hospital printing shit-loads of money, and should date or sleep with doctors only." Gail raised her eyebrows at Holly asking if she had the facts straight. "Why the fuck is she your friend? And you called her practically family?"

"I am friends with her because I care about her. And I know she cares about me. I can guarantee you or give you in writing that she would always be there when I need her." Holly took a defensive stance. "Sure, she wouldn't be very helpful say during...umm a heartbreak but you know what, suppose if tomorrow I have an accident and I become an invalid, that woman would feed me, keep me with her, take care of me all my life without complaining." Holly stressed. "What does that tell you, huh? She might be superficial or judgmental but aren't we all awful in some ways?" Her brown gaze bored into Gail's blue ones. "Her priorities don't make sense to us and our priorities don't make sense to her. But don't you think it's unfair to say she is a bad person just because of that?"

"She might be your friend but that doesn't give her the right to demean you or your profession or anybody's profession for that matter, Holly," Gail countered. She knew what Holly was trying to say made sense, not a lot of sense but some sense. Not everybody who existed on the surface of the earth was super nice and still they had friends, family, people in their lives that cared about them. And Holly, obviously, was the kind of person who saw the good in everyone.

"You are right," Holly assented calmly. "But I know when to take her seriously and when not to. I have known for years now. Her expressing concern about my profession is her way of caring. I am a better doctor than her and she knows that. So, yeah it might be little confusing for her simple mind to comprehend why I chose to be a pathologist." She reasoned amicably. "Her mindset is perfect for a plastic surgeon. She sees the superficiality in everything. The only thing she readily agreed upon was the fact that you are gorgeous. It was your job that worried her a little. And I think she had a right to be concerned. After all, she has seen me through a few breakups." She sniggered lightly at those past memories of her college years. "And about why I said that...first, because I didn't want to discuss the details of our relationship with a third party even before we had the chance to do it. Second, because defending you or your job to Lisa would have made the situation even worse. She would have started an endless tirade about why we were so wrong for each other...and third, because I simply wanted her to shut up and back off." Holly heaved a sigh and sagged against the couch. "So, yeah, the choice of words was a little stupid and inconsiderate but it wasn't meant for you, Gail. It was simply a deflection. And that's what I meant about the coin toss... you being there behind me just changed the situation drastically." She frowned doubtfully at her own analogy, wondering if it made any sense or not. But still, she went on. "I was angling for a heads...almost sure I had got it, but your presence just flicked it to tails in an instant. And, thus, I became the fool who..." unexpectedly Holly slammed the tumbler on the carpet and the scotch swished out of it a little. Her eyes were blinking rapidly as a horrible realization dawned over her sleepy conscience. "Oh my God, Gail," she spoke in an urgent tone. She dipped her head and threaded all her fingers tightly in her hair at her hairline; both her palms pressing into her eyes, elbows digging into her bent knees. How could she be so freaking blind? She doubted she had ever been such an ignorant idiot in her life before. Gail hearing her say that, that they were just having fun...God how it must have hurt the younger woman. She knew of her insecurities and still...she had inadvertently made it worse for Gail. She had become one of the people to stroke, to fuel Gail's insecurities when she had said that to Lisa. She abruptly pushed herself on her knees. In three strides she was in Gail's personal space. She tried to swallow down the fear but her guilt, in that moment, overwhelmed her. She couldn't stop the tears from gathering in her eyes and her shaking hands framed Gail's face delicately. She traced that porcelain skin beneath tired looking blue pools with her thumbs and followed the movement with her eyes.

"Hol?" Gail whispered apprehensively. The brunette's sudden action had taken her by surprise and the haunted look in those deep chocolates at once started grating at her nerves.

Holly flicked her eyes to Gail's worried ones. "You are so beautiful, you know that?" She stalled for a few seconds gathering every morsel of courage she could. The tip of her tongue peaked out to poke at her upper lip anxiously but it didn't stop her lips from quivering. "I am so sorry," she vehemently apologised. She tried to swallow the thickness smothering the insides of her throat. "I am so, so sorry, Gail." By this time the moisture in her eyes had escaped its threshold. "I didn't mean it. I didn't mean any of it..." her voice was that was too thick and gruff, trailed off. The guilt was seconds away from wracking her body mercilessly. "You have to believe me, Gail. Please," she begged, "please, tell me you believe me." Her eyelids draped over her wet pools as more tears streaked down her cheeks. She rested her forehead against Gail's. "You have got to believe me. You need to believe me. Please." She kept repeating softly and shook her head in contempt, at herself, at her stupidity, at her ignorance, at everything. She was so damn lucky Gail was even sitting here with her, giving her another chance; when she really didn't need to. In an act of desperation, she secured both her hands behind Gail's neck and buried her face in the warm juncture of Gail's neck and shoulder while allowing herself some reprieve in form of deep, uncontrollable sobs.

Gail's breath slammed out of her lungs and she was unable to grasp on to her need to inhale the next one. Her mouth gaped and fortunately some of the oxygen from surroundings reached her lungs, then her brain; which started functioning a few seconds later. Her eyes flicked down to her hands that were gripped around the taller woman tightly. She didn't realize in what moment she had latched on to Holly so urgently. Her body, perhaps, in its own right understood how to act around Holly; without her neurons having to work. She slowly became aware of the remnants of wetness Holly's anguish had left on her skin. It burned; the patch of skin where the older woman had cried...it was scorching. She swore she could feel them like the ruins of a dream, stabbing at her heart, cursing at her for causing such agony to this beautiful, wonderful woman in her arms; still shaking with the aftermath of her breakdown. She flattened her palms and soothingly ran it all over Holly's back. Momentarily she registered how thin the t-shirt material was; but she didn't ponder further on it.

For a few minutes they clung to each other for dear life. The space between their bodies was almost non-existent. Holly's face was still buried in Gail's neck and she was straddling the outstretched thighs. Gail's head was tilted to her right, her right cheek resting against Holly's warm one. Her hands were completely draped across the older woman's back and her palms grasping at Holly's opposite sides beneath her ribs as she rocked them to and fro.

Finally, when the sniffling died down Gail gathered the courage to say what she had been itching to. "It hurt, Hol." The wisps of her soft utterances fell directly on Holly's ear. Her lips, in fact, grazed the soft shell of the brunette's right ear when she spoke or moved her lips. She felt Holly pry out of the embrace but she didn't relent. Instead she pulled her in further. She felt Holly's jaw move but before any word could come out from the other woman's mouth she spoke. "Ssshhhh, just listen to me. I have to get this out before I lose my nerve, please." She requested and Holly's head bobbed in reply twice. "It hurt to hear you say that, too much. And I just lashed out...since the day our dynamic had changed, since the day I accepted that I feel something more than just friendship for you, I have been a mess, Hol." She chuckled dryly. After a second's respite, she continued. "I doubted that someone like you would want to be with someone like me...you know a person so rude, disrespectful, mean, and no doubt many, many such unlikeable adjectives." She paused again. "That day, during the shift, I had been a restless bundle of nerves. As a result of which, I had babbled about your awesomeness and sexy librarian type nerdiness to Dov." A sigh. "And when I heard you, well...it opened the gates to me. And I thought, hey, I was worrying for no reason. Fun is over, so go on...the ride is done with." She was running out of words. "And that's why I wasn't ready to talk about us...define us. It would have made it all very real, very tangible...very terrifying." Another long sigh. "So, yeah...I am sorry too." Somewhat relaxed, she let Holly go and deposited her arms at her sides in a boneless heap.

Holly remained where she was. She closed her eyes for a second and just breathed in the essence that was purely Gail. Turning her head a little she nuzzled her nose along the short hairs behind the blonde's ear. Before departing she placed a soft kiss there, promising her return. She kept her right hand behind the column of the pale neck and with the knuckles of her left hand she traced Gail's strong, defined jaw structure. She pushed at her chin until the younger woman gave in and matched her gaze head on. "I had been walking on eggshells around you since the day of the shooting," she didn't let Gail duck her head or avoid her eyes. "I am grateful you let me see a side of you that early in our relationship...I am actually honoured that you trusted me enough to spiral out of control in my presence, in my home...but that scared me a lot too, you know." Her voice gradually returned to her natural deep cadence. "I couldn't just come out and ask you to define us...to talk about what we meant to each other. And that, right there, was the pitch of my insecurity," she confessed unabashedly. "You had only been with guys before me...and the longer we went on without discussing what was going on, the more insecure I became. In fact, in hindsight, I realize that asking you to meet my friends was an attempt to make it real without making it real...without us doing anything, you know." She continued to caress Gail's chin and jaw lightly. "Because you introduce your significant other, the person you are dating, or you are with, to your friends, right? But, that was unfair...on both of us." She nodded to herself in acknowledgement of her stupidity. She peered seriously into Gail's eyes and slid the column of her nose alongside the blonde's. "I am sorry for subjecting you...actually, both of us to that; before we were ready." She finished and gently placed her forehead against Gail's.

Gail saw the sincerity floating in those pair of brown pools. It was enough; for now. She lifted her hands and cupped the older woman's tear stained cheeks. With her thumbs she wiped at the soft skin. Then her hands travelled down and she rested her palms gently at the brunette's back, beneath the curve of Holly's shapely shoulder bones. Again, her sub-conscious registered the thin material of the t-shirt. Involuntarily her fingers dug themselves into the concave area created between the spine and the bones. She tilted her head up a little; teasingly close enough to breathe the same air as Holly. "Now what," her voice on its own turned raspy with need. She saw those eyelids flutter close and when they curtained up, she gasped silently. She practically saw the browns in Holly's eyes swirling, dissolving, and transforming itself into dark brown of still hot, melting, steaming chocolate. She licked her lips and watched the intensity in them increase as the gaze fell on her dry, parched, hungry, pair of lips.

"Now," Holly's tone was deeper than usual and huskiness took a whole new meaning for Gail in just that one word. "If you would give me another chance, I want to discover what we could be together...me and you...together, just the way you are. No changes, everything as it was. But yes, this time around, we need to talk to each other more," she quipped and smirked.

"No changes at all," Gail raised her eyebrows in question and bit her bottom lip impatiently.

"Nope," Holly replied giddily. "No changes at all."

"Not even with me being mean and snarky," Gail went on.

"I wouldn't have the name 'Lunchbox' if you weren't all those things, Officer Peck," Holly teased and tried hard to contain the smile threatening to split her face into two.

Gail purred low in her throat. "Well, then what are you waiting for, Doctor Stewart?" She rasped and licked her lips in anticipation.

Holly dipped her head down, her lips parted in acceptance and greed. "I would really appreciate a clue, Officer Peck," she knowingly dragged out the moment.

Gail growled under the grinding teeth. "Holly." She could feel those long, nimble fingers of Holly's right hand threading in and out of her short hair at the nape of her neck. The brunette's left hand cupped her face gently and traced the outline of her bottom lip. She, at last, unable to wait anymore, brought her left hand behind Holly's head and pulled her in. They were only a breath apart when she mumbled, "you really do talk too much."

Their lips brushed against each other. Heated puff of air escaped their nostrils at the same time. Holly fit her lips perfectly against Gail's and pressed slightly; her eyes closed. When she dipped the second time she was surprised for a moment; her plump lower lip very easily slid between the blonde's parted lips. After a moment's shock, she responded by draping her own lip over Gail's upper one, wetting it thoroughly. And then the rhythm began; the movements they had mastered in their time together. She felt Gail's teeth graze her lip. As she moaned, the grip she had on those short blonde locks tightened and she hungrily sucked on Gail's upper lip.

Gail groaned thickly when Holly stretched her lip and kept sucking on it. She fisted a bunch of that long, silky, dark hair and pulled. A delicious hiss prompted Holly to abandon what she was doing and subject herself to Gail's wishes; after all Gail had ideas.

Huh? So? Thoughts? Creative criticism?

Just about anything, drop a review please.

Also, I really hope that this chapter made sense to people as much as it did for me while writing.

I have taken a very simple approach to their debacle. An approach that defines how perfectly human they both are. In fact, everybody is.

And I really would like to hear/read thoughts about it. And, yes, I realize some people might agree while some might clearly think of this as stupid.

Oh, well, what can I do? Such is the world. I just hope it was worth your time.

Will be back in two or three days, probably. Remember, no promises though.

Thank You, you lovely, wonderful folks.