Prompt: Sometimes, you just fall out of love.
In Another Life
By AngelKruger
I let my bag fall carelessly to the floor as soon as the door closes behind me; I sigh and take my shoes off, wandering through the kitchen towards the bathroom. Toothpaste all over the sink. 'Dammit, San!' I squint my eyes evilly and make a mental note to make her pay later as I wash away the evidence of her crime. 'What? I like a tidy apartment, sue me' Finally satisfied with the stains gone, I wash up and dry my face with a fluffy brown towel. My eyes land on a forgotten red lipstick behind the hand soap dispenser and I smile at the memory it brings...
7:00 AM. The annoying BEEP-BEEP-BEPP of the clock on the bedside table chirps to life. An arm shoots out of the blankets and slaps the damned contraption into silence, 'This is so not going to be a good day…'
With one eye still closed you go into the bathroom and wash your face in hopes of further waking up, once that's done, you start brushing your teeth vigorously, that's when you finally look up to the mirror and you freeze. Written in red lipstick at the top of the mirror it reads: 'The most gorgeous woman in the world' a little arrow is right under it and pointing to a heart masterfully situated to encase your face, under the heart says: 'All my love, San'
You hair is sticking out at odd places, your face is still damp and tooth paste is dripping from the corner of your mouth, toothbrush hanging limply on the other corner. She knew you would look a mess when you read it. It makes you feel beautiful.
Maybe it will be a good day after all.
It's been almost two years since then, after that I found the odd sweet message scribbled in the mirrors around the apartment. They always made my day better.
The last time I found one was around a year ago.
My smile falters a little at that thought and an uncomfortable feeling sets in my stomach. I shake my head and make my way to the kitchen to get something quick to eat before bed, it's been a long day and all I want to do is curl up in bed. Santana is working a late shift again but she won't be long.
I make a pit stop in the living room to turn the TV on. I click away in the remote, looking for something remotely entertaining to watch as I eat, I reach HBO and browse through the movies. 'Oh my Gosh, PS. I Love You!' Can you tell I love this movie? I remember the first time I saw it, right here in this same living room, with Santana…
The credits rolled on the screen and you hid your face in the crook of her neck, she kissed your forehead and chuckled, "You can't complain now about how sad it was, you were the one that wanted to watch it"
"I know, but it's still sad!" she chuckles again and you bite her neck playfully.
"Softie" she scoffs.
"Shut up!" A moment passes before you speak again, "We should totally do what that guy did"
"What? Die and leave a bunch of letters?" she looks curiously at you, "If that's the case, I call dibs on not being the one that croaks. I'm too sexy to die"
"Wow, I feel the love and concern rolling off of you, Hun. Love you too" she giggles and you slap her chest, "I'm serious, we could write a letter to each other once a week. It would be so romantic!" you swoon and she smiles at you, but doesn't answer.
You rest again her chest this time and take her silence as a dismissal of your idea. But she seems to like to prove you wrong, "Ok, but let's make it very two weeks and you have a deal"
Your smile probably couldn't be any bigger even if you tried, "Thank you, thankyouthankyouthankyou!" you grip her t-shirt and shower her whole face with kisses.
"Ok, ok, ok!" she laughs and holds you face to stop your attack on her face. She kisses your grinning lips to seal the deal. "I love you, Rach"
"I love you too, San"
I have her letters inside a fake book that rests on the bookcase. As time passed, the letters started coming every three weeks, then every month, then whenever either of you managed to remember the deal.
The last letter was dated 9 months ago.
My stomach churns again. 'Maybe I'm just hungry'.
I pad softly towards the fridge and pull all the ingredients for a simple salad. I admit that we have drifted apart a little the last few months, but we both have things to attend to, college, work and other little factors here and there.
I start peeling a cucumber. Besides, we both come home every night to each other, Sundays we spend the whole day together, we go grocery shopping, we clean the apartment, go out for lunch and a movie, come home and fall asleep next to each other, our bond is shown in a perfectly maintained routine tha…
That's when it hits me like a ton of bricks. Routine. 'Is that what we have been doing? Mindlessly following a routine?' I try to think of the last time we did something different, something spontaneous and reckless, just for the fun and thrill of it. 'What happened to the passion? The random little details that were born out of love? When was the last time that we stole each other's breath away with a single touch?'
I can't recall.
'When was the last time I got her a little present just because I was thinking about her? When was the last time that I told her how much she means to me?'
I take a shuddery breath and hold the counter on a vice like grip, 'What happened to us?' I shut my eyes tightly and take a deep breath, maybe I'm just panicking over nothing. I turn around and lean against the counter, taking in our small but cozy kitchen, as another memory assaults my mind…
"Baby, I'm hooooooome!" she sing songs as soon as she steps into the little apartment you've been sharing since you started college, you smile at her silly antics.
"In the kitchen, Hun" you call back and go back to putting the finishing touches on the salad.
"My God… you're gorgeous" She's standing under the threshold of the kitchen, smiling softly and holding a single tulip on one hand.
"Sweet talker" you shake your head and she steps closer to you, sneaking an arm around your waist from behind and handing you the tulip.
"I only speak the truth, my love" she whispers in your ear and kisses your shoulder softly.
Santana puts the bottle of wine she had bought specially for this occasion; your 4th anniversary together, inside a bucket with ice as you set the table. You bring the last dish to the table and when you look up, you find her looking at you with pure adoration. It makes your heart skip a beat.
Without a single word, she rounds the table and takes you in her arms, her lips crashing with yours in a lustful dance; you legs circle her waist as she hoists you on top of the breakfast nook.
An hour later found you reheating the forgotten dinner, not a piece of clothing covering either of you and you think that it was the most amazing anniversary night ever.
I come back to the present with a gasp and tears pooling in my eyes, I walk slowly towards the calendar hanging on the fridge. August 9th. My breath catches in my throat, today is our 5th anniversary together and I forgot. We forgot.
I recognize now the feeling in my stomach; dread.
I leave the unfinished salad on the counter and walk to our bedroom, I feel like my legs are made out of Jell-O, my chest hurts and I can barely breathe. My body is in autopilot as I change into my pajamas and get under the covers, numb. My eyes lock onto an empty vase sitting on top of my bedside table, just behind my alarm clock, its clear pink crystal mocking me…
Soft kisses on your shoulder and neck brings you back from your dreams, you smile lazily and stretch a little, earning a soft giggle, "Sorry baby, I didn't mean to wake you"
"Yes you did" you smile and turn on your back to greet your girlfriend properly, "Hi, sexy"
"Hi, gorgeous" she kisses your nose, "I've got something for you" she turns around and takes something from the floor on her side of the bed, "I was gonna wait to give this to you tomorrow morning, but seeing as you're awake…"
"Thanks to you, if I may add" she gives you a pink glass vase with three roses, one yellow, one pink and one red, "Oh Hun, they're beautiful!"
"Glad you like them" she winks at you and grins, "This vase shall never be empty, from now on, I'll bring you fresh flowers every time they wither"
"That's the sweetest thing ever, but with your memory…" you raise your eyebrows with a doubtful look.
She mock glares at you and she flicks your forehead, "You'll see, Berry, imma make you eat your words"
"Oh yeah? And how are you going to remember?" you carefully put the vase in your night stand and curl by her side, your head resting on her shoulder.
"Because this feeling inside me will remind me every day. As long as I'm in love with you, I'll remember"
I don't know how much time goes by, but suddenly I feel the bed dip at my back, she settles and stays still, maybe she fell asleep. I'm proven wrong when she sighs and her arm comes to rest on my waist, her front molded to my back.
I smile sadly and look again at the empty vase, "You feel it too" it's not a question, just an acceptance.
I don't need to see her to know that she's frowning, "What do you mean?" I know she's aware of what I'm talking about, but she won't be the first to open up, she never is.
"The vase has been empty for quite a while" I'm not being mean or reproachful, just honest.
"We've just been busy, I guess" she hesitates and I don't fail to notice that she said we. She knows.
I turn around in her arms to face her, the sad look in her eyes tell me everything I need to know. It mirrors mine. "What happened to us?" my voice falters and she hugs me closer to her body, my head resting on the crook of her neck.
"I don't know, Rach. I love you, you know I do, I love you so much" she repeats over and over again and clings to me like an anchor.
"I love you too, San" I don't honestly know what else to say, so I just cling to her too and cry.
"Oh shoot! 'member the time Tina caught us getting down and dirty in her room?" the last word morphs into a loud snort of laughter, almost making me fall out of bed when her arms flail wildly with laughter.
"Ohmigosh! Her face! It was the funniest thing I have ever seen!" I howl with laughter too at the memory of an almost purple faced Tina after finding Santana with her head between my legs on top of the tidy black desk.
"M-my sister told me she so-old that desk the n-next day" she could barely get her words out between laughs.
"I know, Kurt bought it!" if only he knew the reason Tina sold it in the first place. If only he knew that my naked behind had been there.
"OH SHIT!" this time she does fall out of bed and I laugh so hard, I go into silent mode, I hold my aching stomach as tears roll down my cheeks.
Santana's red face pokes from the side of the bed and rubs my back, "Snap out of it, woman. Breathe!"
It takes a while before we're able to come down from our laughter induced high, now we just lay in a heap of limbs in the darkness of our bedroom, my head in her lap as she strokes my hair.
"I really do love you, y'now?"
"But…?"
"I dunno…" she hesitates and I rest my chin on her chest, giving her my undivided attention, "…I guess something changed" she looks as I feel, sad but resigned.
"Isn't it weird that it took us so long to realize it?"
"Maybe we didn't realize coz it was gradual. It wasn't like one day we just stopped being in love, things changed so slowly that we barely caught up to it now"
There it is, the words are finally in the open. Stopped being in love. I rest my head on her chest and listen to the strong heartbeat, "Does it make me a terrible person that I'm not as devastated as I should according to the movies and books?"
She chuckles and tugs gently at my hair, "We were never a couple as the ones in movies and stuff, so I don't think it's bad. We're different. We've always been different"
I yawn and she tugs the blankets around us without changing positions, my eyes are heavy and I start drifting off, her heartbeat lulling me to sleep.
"I love you too, San"
Santana moves out a month after the break up, thankfully she ends up renting an apartment two doors down from yours. It takes a while to get over the sadness of the break up, but somehow you both make it through and even manage to salvage your friendship. She's still your rock and you're still her inspiration.
You both like to think that; as messed up as the whole thing was, you came out the other side stronger, better people because of it. You never joke about how your relationship slowly died, but neither of you wallows in sadness over it either. Nobody really knows what made you two break up, not even your closest friends and it's not because you're ashamed, but because you both wish to simply let it be.
Seven months later Santana introduces you to her girlfriend, an adorable blonde dancer teacher called Brittany, it makes your heart swell with happiness at seeing her so happy and in love. Three years later Santana walks you down the aisle where a smiling Quinn Fabray; who you met through Brittany, waits for you at the altar. You stay the whole night at the hospital when Brittany goes into labor and you cry when you see your Goddaughter for the first time. Santana is happily jumping around when two stripes appear on the pregnancy test in your hand, eight months later you bring a healthy baby boy into the world.
Time keeps slowly passing by, stations change and years roll away, but at the end of the day Santana Lopez is still you rock and you're still her inspiration.
Well, this one was a female dog to write -.- Oh, how I love my girlfriend and her prompts :P Love to u all! :3