AN: The vamps and wolves you recognize from The Twilight Series belong to S. Meyer.

The rest of the wolf pack, imprints, wolf kids, and pretty much every other character in this story belong to the talented yay4shanghai! You can find her on my page if you want to check out the rest of her captivating stories :) and check out the amazing spinoffs by AsagariMelody, dll10, liljenrocks, Guzhong, twihardcaligurl, intiMACYx33 and TwilightHeart21.

Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed last chapter! So I am super excited because I got five nominations for the Pup and Leech Awards, which is crazy! This story is nominated for Best-In Progress and Best Romance. While Never Trust a Werewolf, is nominated for Best Drama and Best Complete. I am up against amazing writers including the lovely yay4shanghai, dll10, liljenrocks, IamKate, and laurazuleta18, whom I love so good luck to all. I also have my Leah one-shot going for Best Drama, which is hilarious because the idea for that story came out of the blue.

Voting starts March 1st at this site http://(www) thepupandleechawards (DOT) webs (DOT)com

A BIG THANKS TO MY AMAZING BETA YAY4SHANGHAI :)

Letting Go

December 1, 2044 – March 3, 2045

Five months and I felt like my life was coming to a standstill, a point where I had to make a decision that I wasn't ready for. It was much harder when I woke up every day to the smell of coffee and the hearty laughs coming from my kitchen. It was a sight to behold every morning seeing William spoil my son as if he were his own flesh and blood. Kai was getting attached in a way that I had never seen before. William was becoming a permanent fixture in my small home and Kai loved it.

Every morning I watched Kai bounce around happily helping William make breakfast. I would dress him for school and drop him off before going to work. He attended a small private school in the city. I wanted him to have friends outside of the world we lived in, so every morning I drove him. That was our routine until William came into our lives and it changed.

I rushed around the house, looking for Kai's missing shoe while trying to button up my shirt. I could hear Kai shouting from the top floor and his feet rushing from room to room. It was like this every morning, something always went missing. William chuckled at me as I covered the exposed skin of my torso while bending down and looking under the furniture for the damn shoe.

"Where the hell is it?!" I gritted out in frustration, tucking in my shirt and adjusting my black pencil skirt. I kept looking around, my eyes roaming around every square inch of the living room, cursing myself for not buying more than one pair of the required black charcoal shoes.

"Mommy, I found it!" Kai howled, running down the stairs and stopping at the bottom.

I watched in amusement as his eyebrows scrunched up and his fingers fidgeted with the laces. William grinned bending down and teaching him the bunny ear method. Kai watched attentively and then succeeded on tying the other shoe. He jumped out and wrapped his arms around William, "Thanks, Will!" he cheered. I smiled watching him walk over to me, my eyes stealing a glance at the cocky smirk on William's face. I helped Kai into his navy blue cotton sweater and made sure his backpack was on right before grabbing my boy's hand and walking out to the car.

It still shocked me how it all played out, after William's birthday he kind of became this intricate piece in my life, someone I couldn't imagine spending a day without. We were becoming friends, a boundary line I had placed when William's visits went from frequent to daily. He didn't push me, which I was thankful for. I missed having a friend. Of course I had Elena whom I loved and trusted more than I could have ever thought possible, but there was something completely different when it came to William. He made me feel comfortable in a way that I never thought I would ever feel again, the only man who had such a power over me had been Solace– and well that hadn't turned out so great.

Every night after Kai was tucked into bed, William and I would spend hours talking, revealing our hidden passions and fears. It was nice having someone I could open up to. I talked about Solace and the fear of falling in love again because I honestly felt like I had given everything I had to the man who I had loved since I was eleven. I didn't think there was any left for another man. William begged to differ, he held my hand and rubbed circles on my back whenever I broke down, he assured me that I could do it… there was hope for me out there. I often asked myself if consoling me was his way of trying to capture my heart, but I would shake off the notion before it had time to develop in my head.

Through his stories and ambitions, I started to see him for the man he was becoming. I would catch myself just staring at him when he spoke about his passion for literature and history and how it fascinated him. There was something special about him, I couldn't pinpoint it, but whenever I watched him with Kai and how his eyes would sparkle when he would watch over my son with so much love. I felt the walls around my heart crumble. William was unconsciously making me feel again – and that scared me.

William's hand was placed on the small of my back, leading me to his car. Kai ran ahead of us and jumped into the backseat, putting on his seatbelt as soon as his bum was seated. William drove Kai to school every morning and then would drop me off at work. I had my own car, but William had been in the passenger seat once while I was driving and after that traumatic experience he made sure that he drove me around. He said it was not only for my safety, but for Kai's and the rest of the Italian population who shouldn't be inflicted with my horrible driving skills.

Emmett Jr. went to the same school as Kai, so it was customary that William would pass by and pick him up. However, Emmett had spent all last night begging his father to drive him in one of Jake's sports cars and Ethan conceded. So for the first time since the boys started school Kai rode in the back alone. He entertained himself by singing the ABC's over and over again. William didn't stop chuckling when Kai's voice got squeaking during the "L, M, N, O, P" part, his voice raising a whole other octave while he sang something that sounded like 'Elmo pee'. William held my hand the entire drive which I permitted as long as he didn't try to do anything else, even if my body was craving for his smooth fingers to run against my thigh.

Ethan was already there when we arrived, so it didn't come as a surprise to me when Kai gave William and I a quick peck on the cheek before running out of the car and catching up with his uncle and cousin. William squeezed my hand and drove away once I was sure that Ethan would look after Kai. My small office was a ten minute drive from Kai's school. I opened up early giving my two designers ample time to get themselves organized before the clients started pouring in.

"You look beautiful today," William commented as he held the door open for me. I blushed and fidgeted under his gaze. I froze feeling his hand travel down my arm, causing goose bumps to erupt against my skin.

"William…" I warned half heartedly. He smirked walking up to me and pining me against the reception desk. I closed my eyes feeling his sweet breath fan against my face.

"Why do you fight it, Amber?" he whispered, his lips brushing ever so slightly against my cheek.

"I am not ready," I breathed out.

His fingers spread against my hip bone and he squeezed hard, "do you still love him? Do you still love Solace?" he asked, my body quaking from the dark edge his voice had taken.

"I don't know," I admitted. I was confused by my feelings. I didn't know what to do, how to respond without feeling like I was betraying Solace. It was stupid of me, he had moved on, why the hell couldn't I? Why the hell did I still feel like I owed him something, as if loving another man meant turning my back on everything I had felt for him? I felt like punching myself for still holding onto something that was clearly the past when I had this incredible person before me, offering me everything I had always dreamt for but I was too blind and stupid to appreciate.

He pulled away when he heard my answer, his eyes dark and hands curled into tight fists.

"William…" I called trying to reel him in but it was to no avail because without a second glance William was out the door and driving away in his car.

My hands came to my chest and my breath hitched as I watched him leave and drive away. This unexplainable feeling seeped into my bones threatening to burst out and yet I was still dumbfounded by the feelings and emotions he stirred in me. Watching him walk away was like this rude awakening, my mind telling me that that was all it took to lose him. But it was bizarre because he wasn't mine, he was my friend, there was no reason why he would act in such away or why I felt like my heart was being torn out of my chest and thrown into a blender.

After a horrible day at work, my mind too wrapped in William and what I was feeling, I called Ethan to come pick me up. William had driven away and hadn't returned, but he made sure that Kai was taken care of before taking off. Kai was silent in the backseat while Emmett chatted away about his day at school. When Ethan reached his house, I got out of the car and walked with my son back to my house without a word to Ethan. Kai didn't ask about William, I was sure my face said a thousand words.

A week passed without so much as a word from him. I was going insane my mind a mess of jumbled thoughts all centralized around him. I was scared, worried, and angry that he hadn't bothered to at least call and let me know that he was alive. He was a half-vampire, he couldn't die, but I still worried, as a friend I cared about his well being. The anxiety built up to the point where it became unbearable. I couldn't take it anymore so I ran to the only person I knew William would tell everything too… Elena.

"It was about time you came to see me," she chided, holding her door open so I could walk in.

"Have you heard from him? Have you seen him?" I was a mess, never in my life had I been so worried about someone.

Elena glared at me before sitting down on one of the stools in her kitchen, "I love you Amber you know that, right?" I nodded, not sure where she was taking this but too eager to hear about William to question her.

"Of course I do and I love you too Elena."

She shook her head and frowned, "my brother loves you Amber. He is in love with you. He's been for years and I have watched him for the last couple of months dedicating his whole being to you and – you're breaking him, Amber. And you don't even realize it."

I groaned bending down and hitting my forehead against the cool marble counter. "I am such a bitch," I moaned looking up at her. "I don't want to hurt him Elena… but I am so confused. I don't know what I am feeling. There's this big part of me that wants to give him a chance but there's like this chain tying my heart and pulling me back whenever I get too close. I am scared, I am not good for him, he deserves so much better."

"You sound like Solace," she said patting my hand. I looked up at her confused, "It's like a tape recorder. He used to always say that. He never thought he was good enough and yet he was enough for you and Amber you're more than enough for Will. He loves everything about you, if you could just hear the way he talks about you – you'd understand just how much love he has for you and Kai."

I shook my head, a tear trailing down my cheek, "he's too young to have to care for a son that isn't his."

Elena laughed, "are you kidding?! Will, loves Kai as much as he loves you. Kai isn't a burden to him, Amber. He truly cares from him."

"He's too young."

She rolled her eyes, "we aren't normal Amber, we mature faster and you know that."

"He needs to see so much more before settling down with me," I protested.

Elena pounded her fist against the counter, "stop making excuses Amber, you deserve to be happy, GODDAMMIT!" She screamed out her chest heaving and her cheeks flaming red. I watched shocked as tears started to roll down her eyes, "you have to stop blaming yourself. You can't keep punishing yourself for what you did to Maddox. She's with him now, she's going to grow up and have him – you have to let go this stupid penitence you carry because of her."

"I don't –" I argued, but she cut me off.

"- yes, you do! The only reason you don't let my brother in, is because you think that you don't deserve to be happy for what you did to Maddox! Amber, you have to let that go, it's the past you have your entire life ahead of you and you're wasting it because of this guilt you carry. They're going to be happy, Amber and you should too. You deserve it. Let my brother love you like you deserve. I know that deep inside you love him too, you're just too damn scared to admit it. Don't lose him Amber, don't let him walk away or you'll regret it for the rest of your life."

Her words hit me like a silver sword through my heart. I gripped my chest as the torrent of tears expelled my eyes and ran down my cheeks. Elena rushed to my side and held me while I cried. She was the only one who could uncover my deepest secrets, the ones that I was too much of a coward to even tell William about. Every time I closed my eyes I saw Maddox's eyes glaring at me with so much venom I could feel the heat of hell underneath my feet. I tried to look past her hostility and see the little girl I used to sit and eat cookies with, but she was gone, I had done that to her, I was the reason she changed.

I blamed myself, my sweet Maddox was gone because of my selfish act. I seriously thought that if she was happy than I would gladly continue the rest of my life with only my son to depend on but then William came into my life and threw all my previous beliefs to the gutter. He made me want to try and see what it felt like to be truly loved, to be the only woman in a man's eyes. He was still seven months away from reaching full maturity, but the signs of his impending growth were already breathtaking. In the body of a twenty year old, he held more poise than men three times his age and his heart that was willing to see pass the disaster that I had become and accept me and my son.

I fell asleep that night with Kai snuggled in my arms. Without William, I felt like he was all I had left so I held onto him for as long as I could. Kai grew more and more quiet as the weeks turned into months and William missed his fifth birthday. We greeted a new year without his presence and I felt like I was going insane.

I remember reading this book once in which the narrator wisely said that sometimes you have to be apart from the ones you love but that doesn't mean you love then any less, if anything it makes you love them more. I fell asleep every night just hoping that tomorrow would be the day where William would come back and I would be able to hold him and apologize for not realizing how much I needed him sooner.

"Mommy, is Will ever going to come back?" Kai asked me one morning while I helped him get ready for school.

"I don't know, baby."

"I miss him," Kai pouted, playing mindlessly with his cereal.

I bent down and placed a kiss on his forehead, "Yeah, I miss him too."

"Why'd he leave?" Kai asked looking up at me through his long lashes. I bit down on my lip.

"It's my fault, baby. I am sorry," I whispered. Kai shook his head and jumped off his stool, running around to me and wrapping his arms around my legs.

"It's not your fault, mommy. Don't be sad." I swallowed the lump in my throat as I bent down and pulled Kai into my arms, nuzzling his neck and hoping that Kai would never see me as the wreck I was becoming.

"He's in Volterra," Ethan told me after dropping Kai off from his trip to the airfield.

"Have you spoken to him?" I asked.

He nodded, "he's pretty upset, Amber. He thinks you still want Solace."

"I just want my friend," I murmured leaning against the arched entryway to my house.

"He doesn't just want to be your friend, you know that."

I sighed, "I don't know what to tell you, because I am so confused. A big part of me thinks that I am falling in love with him and yet there's still this miniscule part telling me that what I feel is simply platonic."

Ethan smiled, "trust me, Amber. You could feel a lot of things for William, but you do not see him as a little brother."

"How do you know?" I asked curiously. Ethan grabbed my chin between his thumb and index finger, "Princess Pretty Face, I know you better than you think." Hearing Ethan utter the nickname from my childhood, made me smile… the first real smile that had grazed my face since William had left.

"Shhh, you're going to wake her up!"

"Emilia, baby, you have to be quiet."

"But I don't want too, daddy!"

"We can't surprise her if she hears you!"

"Emmett, don't hiss at your sister." I smiled against my pillow hearing Ethan trying to keep the trio quiet. It was my birthday; I was turning thirty a milestone to many but not me.

"SURPRISE!" A chorus of small voices sang out before I was assaulted by three little bodies tackling me with hugs and kisses.

Ethan and Elena stood in the doorway laughing as Eva clapped her hands watching the commotion with excited baby eyes. Emilia was jumping up and down while Kai snuggled into my side and Emmett tried to tickle me. Their squeaky voices filled the room as they sang me happy birthday followed by more hugs and kisses.

I was treated to breakfast in bed courtesy of Ethan and Kai who helped put the whip cream on top of my Nutella French toast. I received calls from my family back home, which I appreciated greatly because hearing their voices always brought a smile to my face. I talked to Aunt Leah, Greg and April which made me ecstatic because I missed my second family greatly, especially Aunt Leah's wit. I had been begging her for years to come see me and I ended the conversation with her with an agreement that soon we would see each other again.

The Wahalla- Black's invaded my house the entire day not leaving for a second and catering to my every desire. It was exactly how I wanted to spend my day, with my family enjoying the simplicity that came with just being lazy and recounting stories of a blissful childhood that seemed so long ago. For a second I forgot about William's absence and truly enjoyed cuddling and snuggling with my nephew, nieces and son. I laughed at Emmett's theatrics and clapped eagerly when Emilia showed me her skills with the hula hoop. Kai gave me a birthday card with a picture of both of us inside it and the words, "I LOVE YOU MOMMY!" written in black crayon across the front.

It ended with a chocolate cake that had my favorite strawberry filling. I blew out my candles while my family whooped around me. After placing chocolate icing on Kai's nose and taking pictures to show Annie and Mel, the get together was over. All the kids were tired out after a long day of running around and eating as much sugar as humanly possible. I tucked Kai into my bed, which he had been sleeping in since December, a reassurance for me and him.

I was cleaning up the kitchen when I heard a knock on the door. I guessed it was Ethan coming to pick up something he had forgotten. I opened the door wiping my face and giggling when I realized that I had just streaked my cheek with chocolate icing. Assuming it was Ethan at the door, I didn't bother looking up instead I just turned right back around leaving the door open. I felt a strong cool grip on my wrist pulling me back and I knew instantly that it wasn't Ethan.

"William," I gasped, looking up into the clear green eyes that I had longed to see for months.

He looked older, his last birthday was soon approaching and it seemed his development was already in high gear, steering him towards full adulthood.

"Happy Birthday," he whispered, his eyes never once breaking contact with mine. I didn't let my mind over think it, I was too happy to have him here with me close enough to touch and feel.

I threw myself into his arms, his strong arms locking the embrace. I buried my face against his chest, my nose traveling up and down his neck inhaling his sweet scent.

"I am so sorry," I cried, wrapping my arms tighter against his neck. He placed his hands on the back of my thighs and lifted me up. I locked my ankles around his waist and let him carry me away. He sat down on my couch, his fingers stroking my hair and lips placing tender kisses on my shoulder blades.

"Don't apologize, I shouldn't have pressured you."

I pulled away, my tears stained with tears, "no, I am sorry. I pushed you away, you didn't deserve that."

His cool fingers ran across my cheek, wiping away my tears, "I missed you so much, Amber." He murmured leaning in closer his hot breath fanning against my face.

I cupped his face and pulled him forward, so that our lips were inches apart, "I missed you too." I whispered against his lips. He leaned forward, his hand setting behind my head locking me in place as our lips finally connected.

The kiss was firm, lips gliding up and down as our passion increased. I wanted to taste him, feel the heat of his mouth but he pulled away before I got a chance, he was venomous and tasting him could kill me. Instead he assaulted my neck. I shivered feeling his wet, open mouthed kisses against my collarbone, I grinded against his growing erection as he descended on my collarbone, his lips leaving a sweet trail against my skin.

"I love you, Amber." He told me firmly, holding my hips in place before I lost control of myself.

I choked on my words, I wanted to tell him that I loved him too – but I still wasn't sure if that was what I was feeling.

"I can't – not yet. I'm sorry," I admitted sheepishly.

He smiled softly, resting his forehead against mine, my eyes drowning in the pool of his green gems. "I am willing to wait forever for you, Amber. I know that you feel something and it'll only be a matter of time before you love me back," he assured me.

I nodded, "You're amazing, William. I just need more time." I begged, hoping that he would be patient with me.

He placed a small kiss on my lips, "Whenever you're ready my love."

I was ready to spend the rest of my night locked in his arms; my lips connected with his but my dear son decided that if William was back than I was going to have to share. After about an hour of sweet but passion filled-kisses Kai came running down the stairs. Gently pushing me out of the way and launching himself in William's arms.

"Will! It was about time you came back, I missed you! Breakfast wasn't the same without you," he bent down, cupping his hands around his ear, and whispering, "mommy's not a very good cook. I love her because she tries, but you're much better." He told him, his dark eyes stealing a glance in my direction.

"Hey!" I yelled out indignantly.

Kai looked down embarrassed, then looked back up and grinned wrapping his arms around my neck and placing kisses on my cheeks and then a small one on my lips, "I love you mommy!" He grinned, trying to make me feel better.

I tickled his sides and pulled him down, peppering kisses all over his face. William watched us with a smile. He wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me flush against his side all while stroking Kai's hair.

"Don't worry Kai, I am back. So you don't have to worry about your mother's horrible cooking anymore." He taunted, winking in my direction and ruffling Kai's hair.

We spent the rest of the night cuddled up together. One of William's arms wrapped around my waist the other around Kai who rested his head on William's chest before falling into a serene slumber. William placed a kiss on my forehead and then my lips before wishing me good night, I curled against his body and for the first time in months I had a peaceful, dreamless sleep.

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