This is the fourth chapter. I swear this will be the last chapter on recollections before moving on with the real story, though I might deviate from actual show Hannah Montana a little because I have not watched season two of Hannah Montana yet. Then again that is the point of fan fiction, but I like to somehow keep this as canon as possible. This chapter would be re-enactments of some (in my opinion, badly done due to too little drama) scenes in Hannah Montana season 1.
Disclaimer: I WISH I owned Hannah Montana. I also do not own the song "I Miss You" by Miley Cyrus nor any of its lyrics.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"How could you."
"Miley..."
Miley began to stride resolutely out of the office with a voice heaving with emotion. People watched in fascination as Hannah Montana marched out, with a look of utmost outrage and melancholia on her pallid face.
"How did you find out?"
Robbie knew that somehow, he had touched a nerve.
"Well you didn't tell me." Miley replied with a shaking and accusing voice.
"I can explain." Robbie Ray futilely tried to justify himself.
The audience was completely bewildered at the sight of this. Hannah Montana having a quiet row with a man that she happens to know? What's happening?
"Well explain this. Why are you dating without telling me? Explain that how is it that you thought you could find someone who could ever replace my mom!"
Robbie Ray was tongue-tied. His daughter let out a dry sob.
Then, on a brink of tears, Miley charged out of the building, leaving her father standing there struggling to digest what had just happened. The entire office was staring silently.
Jackson, dressed as Hannah's chauffeur, emerged from behind the cupboard, and with a glance to his father, said, "That was awkward."
Robbie Ray was at a complete loss to say anything. How did she find out? Why did I wait so long biding my time? Did I know it might amount to such a disaster? What was she doing here anyway?
"C'mon Jackson," he said monotonously to his son hiding behind the cupboard. I'm gonna have to talk to that little girl.
Meanwhile Miley ran all the way back home, forgetting to remove her Hannah disguise. People stared in awe and disbelief as the teen pop-sensation flew past them like the wind, her golden hair trailing behind her like a silky flag. Miley attempted to stifle her sobs and stem the flow of tears from her leaking eyes. Yet she did not care when clicks were heard and flashes appeared at the corner of her eyes. Let them take pictures. Let them! Let them know that Hannah Montana has lost her mommy and can't deal with it. LET THEM!!
All she cared about was getting home quick, getting away from that traitor she calls her father. He who betrayed the memory of her mother and his wife.
She was sure she heard Oliver cry, "Miley!" as she sped past him. She did not notice him there, nor did she see anyone. The tears were beginning to blind her; she only charged in the direction she thought would lead her home.
Her heart felt like it was wearing a super heavy and overly tight armor, threatening to give out. She felt ready to burst into tears. I gotta get home quick! This is SO embarrassing!
"HANNAH MONTANA! LOOK! IT'S HANNAH MONTANA!"
She would not be surprised if an entire mob was chasing her down now. Damn! Why the hell did I charge off by myself?! Why the hell did I forget this wig?!
Humiliation and regret piling on her misery, she increased the pace at which she was running. Losing track of time, somehow she reached the door of her house. Her heart finally gave in, and she collapsed on the floor in a heap, completely exhausted. At the same time it was there when she whipped off her wig and burst into tears.
"Miley!" Oliver caught up from behind, also panting like a dog.
She took no notice. Her loud wails and sobs were heart-rending to hear. In spite of himself, he collected her shaking body into his arms and held her close to his chest, trying to console her with a soothing reassuring voice.
"It's okay Miles. It's okay. I'm here for you."
"Oliver..." Miley's voice was barely audible. Does he know what I'm going through right now? Is he here just to tease me for what happened just now?
"Oliver...sniff...I'm s-s-sorry..." she gasped. Oliver tightened his grip around Miley.
"Come. Let's get you in." He hoisted her up on her feet. She seemed to have lost control of her leg muscles; she was like a bean bag, refusing to move on her own.
Turning around to check and make sure no one's following them, and that there is no crowd screaming "HANNAH MONTANA!!", he wrenched open the door and steered the still-sobbing Miley in, picking up the abandoned wig from the floor.
Having been set on the sofa, Miley then bit her fist to stop her crying, but otherwise made no attempt to stifle her sobbing. Oliver stared at his best friend for a long while, thinking what to say. The sight of her, jerking and gasping trying to breathe, rocking back and forth in response to the intense pain in her chest, was enough to make anyone start crying in pity. Oliver once again put his hands on Miley's little shoulders and said, "It's alright, Miley. You can tell me what happened."
Her beautiful grey eyes were sparkling with tears, a small stream still flowing out of her eyes. Yet behind the waterfall was an empty cave, dull and soulless, cloaked by misery.
"Oliver...th-thank you...but I-I don't think...hiccup...you'll u-understand..."
"Hey I'm not that much a donut as you think I am you know." he said in a light tone.
Miley giggled a little and put on a toothy grin. She stopped crying, but she had had the hiccups you usually get after a really good cry. Oliver was truly a great friend, to show so much care to me.
"But really, Oliver...hiccup...I d-d-don't th-think...you'll understand...hiccup...
I don't...want...to...hiccup...talk about it right now..." her voice trailed away in nothingness. Oliver nodded in comprehension.
"So if you need anything..."
"No, no, I'll be fine, Oliver."
"Okay."
"Thanks Oliver." Miley smiled, pulling a cushion into her arms.
Oliver sighed in relief, glad that the storm clouds have dissipated. Saying a somewhat reluctant goodbye to Miley, he left the house, brows knotted into a frown in worry. What happened to her? I better tell Lilly.
"Hey Ollie Trolley! You seen Miles?" It was Robbie Ray calling him from his car. Jackson and Robbie were apparently on their way home.
"Yeah Mr S! Miley's at home!" Oliver called out at him. Robbie gave a nod of acknowledgment and drove on. Jackson, sitting beside him, called out a thanks. As they drove past.
"No problem, man!"
Oliver then made his way home.
Miley did not want to confront her father after what happened and resorted to making herself scarce by hiding in her room, locking the door. Robbie Ray, now feeling very guilty and sorry, knocked at her door three times with no response.
"I'm sorry, Mile. I'm sorry. Will you please come out?"
Silence.
Argh. I did get her into this mess. I suppose I'd talk to her when she feels like it then...sigh...
Miley, meanwhile, prostrated herself on her bed, staring at the photo next to her bed; a photo showing Miley and her mother wearing sunny smiles standing in front of their barn, and relived the moments they've had together as mother and daughter...
Upon thinking of the disastrous incident, Miley's eyes started to leak again, wetting her pillow with salty dew...
How long am I going to keep this up?
That night...
I miss you
I miss your smile
And I shed a tear
Every once in a while
And even though it's different now
you're still here somehow
My heart won't let you go
And I need you to know
I miss you
Shalalalala
I miss you
Staring into the heavens, she sang a song of lament, a song she wrote for that funeral. The words flowed out of her mouth naturally, and her fingers tenderly stroked the guitar in perfect harmony. For it was a song she practiced every time she woke up from her dreams at night. She sang it again and again, hoping her mother would hear her at last.
The sky was dark, cold winds blew on the beach and caressed her face as the sea roiled up its soft and stirring waves. The sound of the sea, the wind. Other than that, all was silent.
Silent. Just like her heart, her mind, and the deck she sat in. Miley slowly raised a palm into the sky.
"Oh mommy...why did you have to leave us so suddenly?"
She began the first of sobs in hours.
Then behind her, a heavy but warm voice inquired, "That was a beautiful song honey."
She hastily tried to hide her tears, but her cracked voice gave it away. "Dad?"
Her father sat down beside her on the bench, staring out into the dark horizon. Miley turned away from him, partly because she wanted to hide the sparkling tears, and also because she had not forgiven him for his betrayal.
"I like to come out here at night. It's a good place to figure things out." Robbie Ray's voice was soft and careful.
"Maybe we could figure things out together." he continued, watching the back of her head.
After a pause Miley asked him the question she had been dying to ask, but was not in the condition to do so.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
She remembered when Jackson and her witnessed their father meet with Margo Diamond on the movie night only yesterday. Lost for words, all she could say as they hid behind the cardboard poster was, "I...I don't believe it...". Jackson apparently did not know of the knife that suddenly stabbed her squarely in her heart.
"Me too. My old man can get a date but I can't?!" he said incredulously.
Miley could only frown.
Upon Robbie Ray's return home, she had tried to get her father to confess, but, obviously under the impression that they did not know of it yet, he said, "When the time is right, I'll tell you all about it." He then bade them goodnight. In her frustration, she exclaimed fervently to Jackson, "Great! He's happy!"
That night, she had that dreaded dream, and cried to herself till the light of dawn pierced through the curtains. Lilly and Jackson thought they saw red puffy eyes. Robbie spotted a large wet stain on her soaked pillow.
"I guess I was hoping to tell you at just the right time. In just the right way. So that you'd understand and...not end up back here on the deck all alone." Robbie Ray's heavy Southern accent was heavy with emotion, and yet it was strangely soothing.
"I just can't picture you with anyone else but mom." Unable to take the tension any longer, Miley got up and walked over to the railings on the deck, leaving the guitar beside the bench. The cold ocean wind blew stronger, lifting her two frizzled ponytails into its gentle breeze.
"Neither can I. What she and I had was special. I can't replace that." Her father joined her on the edge of the balcony.
"Then why are you dating?"
"'Cause, life goes on, you gotta figure out some way to go on with it." Robbie put an hand on her shoulder.
Miley was silent. I haven't gotten to that part yet...
Taking a deep breath, Robbie pressed on, "Did you think your mom would have wanted that for us?"
Then she heard her mom's voice, telling her about the grass blade, and its strength. It was time to be brave, time to move on. Mommy was right.
"Yeah." she had to agree. "I guess she would've. She was pretty smart that way."
There was another thick silence, during which Robbie nodded in agreement.
Then, the words she had so desperately wanted to say to somebody, the words that played again and again over and over in her head, the words that she whispered as she slept fitfully, the words that she said to the gravestone, the photo, the heavens came out of her mouth into the ears of her father.
"I really miss her daddy." She looked into his eyes, and saw the same expression she wore, the same dullness behind the veil in the eyes. The box in her heart containing all those painful emotions threatened to burst; her eyes welled up.
"I miss her too kiddo." was his hoarse reply.
The box exploded, pushing her past endurance. After initial sobs she completely broke down. All the pain, the thoughts of grief burst through the dam. Afraid that the neighbours would complain, she rushed forward into her father's welcoming arms and poured her heart out into his midriff.
Still, Miley Stewart's melancholy songs resounded through the four winds, carrying her grief into far distances. The seas resonated at the sound of her miserable cries.
And from the heavens, a voice spoke,
Live without regret. Life goes on. Miley, Robbie, Jackson, do not lose hope in life. Do not give up for me.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And that's the end of the recollections. Took longer than I thought it would. But I enjoyed every word I typed. It is usually the writer who gets to feel the most intense emotions. In fact, the reason I write Miley so precisely is because I can relate to her. You will see more of that in the future. Next chapter will get on with the actual story plot. Bye for now!
Terrorking Tragedian