It was cold in the small hospital room in the recovery wing of the hospital.
Colder than it should have been.
Heavy drapes covered the window, lights turned off. Darkness enveloping the small room like a blanket.
Dull blue eyes stared absentmindedly at the squares on the ceiling. Even in the dark room, he could could see the 30 squares that made up the bland, white ceiling.
It was as if his very eyes had grown so accustomed to the darkness, that now he could see almost clearly in it.
*Tick* *Tick* *Tick* *Tick*
His constant companion clicked away. The rhythmic sound that used to plague him, now welcomed, like a long lost brother.
*Tick* *Tick* *Tick* *Tick*
Sapphire eyes glanced at the wall clock, squinting to read the black lettering of the clock in the darkness. *5:40*
A weary, heavy sigh that came forth from the depths of his sorrow came forth. Slowly, he closed his eyes.
Jack and Maddie would not visit him today.
They hadn't visited for the past two days now.
It had taken them over a week to take the hint. Every day they came, he would just as quickly dismiss them. The only words he would afford his two close friends was that he did not feel like talking that day.
But finally, it seemed that they were going to leave him be.
And he didn't know if he should be happy, or sad.
Rejecting them had become easier after the first time. His resolve strengthening and heart numbing with each dismissal.
Opening his moist eyes, he glanced at the time once more. *6:05*
Though, the pain of their absence had not softened at all…
…
*Tick* *Tick* *Tick* *Tick*
His eyes wandered towards the time, again. *5:30*
He tore his gaze from the ticking clock, staring at the bland, empty ceiling he now knew so intimately.
Six days… It had been six days since his friends last visited him.
Six days since he had heard a friendly voice, longer since he had seen a kind smile.
Oh, there were plenty of smiles directed at him by the hospital staff.
Fake and hollow. Full of nothing but pity or dismissal.
The sound of laughter from outside of his room caught his sensitive hearing, a sharp contrast to the dreary, dark place that became his dwelling.
He gritted his teeth in annoyance at the sound.
A sound he had not made in a long time…
Without his consent, his traitorous eyes glanced back at the clock one more. *5:40*
He snapped his gaze away, anger rising at his own sentimental foolishness.
It had been six days already. Why? Oh why did he instinctively know when to glance at the left wall? Somehow know when the time his two friends used to visit was near?
And why, every time, did it make him die just a little inside?
This was what he wanted right? He knew that it would hurt. Knew that it was necessary and was the right thing to do for his two friends. That he had a hell of a path ahead of him with his major disfiguration, one that would drive anyone under along with those around.
But no matter how hard he tried to look at it with a logical mind, his heart was always in the way.
His eyes widened in surprise, breath picking up speed as his body tensed. Tears filled his eyes as his sensitive hearing caught two familiar footsteps heading towards his room.
No, it must be his imagination…
The footsteps stopped behind his door.
Vlad couldn't bring himself to breathe as his dark eyes focused on the brass handle. Waiting.
Just as he was beginning to think that his imagination was playing tricks on him, the door opened slowly. Almost hesitantly.
Against his will, his heart leapt in joy, and he forced an unbidden smile down.
"Hi Vlad." Came Maddie's soft voice, sounding almost apologetic as she opened the door.
God had he missed the sweet sound.
"Miss us, Vladdie? We sure missed you!" Jack's cheery voice came afterward as he stepped in the room after Maddie.
Vlad was at a loss for words at their unexpected visit. He had to strain to control his body from giving anything away. How much their presence brought about mixed emotions.
How he had missed them. Dearly.
A small, yet bright light caught his eyes and he raised his gaze to see the light of a laptop illuminate the dark room slightly.
"There they are!" Jack boasted excitedly as he grabbed the two plastic chairs that sat on the side of the room, while Maddie held the laptop to provide him some light, as they had not turned on the light in the room.
He watched with sharp eyes that could see in the dark room as if it was day as Jack pulled both chairs forward, setting them near the bed facing one another, though angled slightly to face the bed as well.
"Boy, you are lucky you didn't have to be in professor Shumar's class today! It was so boring, I nearly fell asleep!"
Maddie raised a brow at the large man. "Nearly? Jack, the whole class turned in our direction when you snored!"
A small smile threatened to pull on Vlad's lips.
He could easily picture it. Jack may be bright energetic and cheery, but if you bored him, he seemed to lose that brisk energy. Even to the point of falling asleep in the most unusual, uncomfortable positions. Sometimes, positions you would not think humanly possible.
And professor Shumar was an incredibly stern and old-fashioned professor who dralled on in a boring monotone voice. Never one to pull a joke, laugh, or tolerate the smallest of offenses.
Oh, he could just imagine the professor's face of outrage!
He snapped back to reality, his amusement and rising cheer faded almost instantly.
No! He could not be sidetracked!
"I am not in the mood for conversation." He announced with severity in his voice, frowning at the other two even though he doubted the two would be able to see it in the darkness.
"That's fine Vlad." Maddie retorted as a new similar small light turned on beside her as Jack turned on his own laptop. "We are just going to do our work here. No need for you to talk."
Vlad's eye twitched. Then, he gritted his teeth as frustration rose. 'Butter biscuits! They are certainly not making this easy!'
"What I mean is, I am tired. I need my rest." He tried once more.
"Don't worry V-man!" Replied Jack's cheery voice. "You don't need to get up at all!"
Vlad's fists clenched. "I mean, I am trying to go to sleep!"
"We will be quiet, hun. Don't you worry about a thing."
He was ready to pull his hair out.
He wracked his brain for another excuse. Something to get them out of his room and leave him in solitude. Anything!
But he couldn't come up with anything else…
"Fine!" He acquiesce begrudgingly, turning over on his side with his back facing them, staring angrily at the wall next to the bed.
They would eventually get bored of his silence and leave. He would just have to wait them out.
"Do as you wish."
…
That's how it was from then on.
Jack and Maddie would stop by everyday at 5:45 and sit in the dark on those plastic chairs that resided in the room.
There were times they were quiet, engrossed in their personal laptops, writing an essay or completing an online quiz as Vlad lay motionless on the bed with his back towards them.
Other times, the two would talk aloud about what their class was doing, what they learned (purposely talking mostly about the classes the three of them shared). At times, they would address Vlad with a question, giving a long stretch of silence. As he would not provide an answer, they would return to discussing it between the two of them.
He knew what they were doing. Could easily tell they were trying to establish a connection with him while at the same time, giving him his space. The questions they asked were meant to be mentally challenging. He knew that the silence after the question was not because they expected an answer, but because they knew him so well that they knew he would work through the question and answer in his head. Giving him something to do when he just wanted his mind to go blank and for them to just leave.
This was not how it was supposed to turn out! They were supposed to give up on him and continue their happy little lives! Instead, they were doing the polar opposite!
Because they always came with their laptop and college bag, not only did they have plenty to do, they stayed even longer than they used to. Doing their homework in his recovery room instead of in their own dorm rooms later.
Silence was getting him nowhere! And the frustration was mounting, increasing every time they visited.
Anger that he was unable to stay strong for the sake of his friends. That if this continued, they would also be sucked into the darkness that was doomed to surround him for the rest of his life.
Something in him snapped.
"Get out…" He mumbled in a low, almost inaudible voice.
Jack and Maddie perked up when they heard their silent friend finally say something, even though they had not quite understood what he said.
"Could you repeat-"
"I said, GET OUT!" He shouted with fury, picking up the notebook that sat beside his bed, throwing it at them.
Maddie and Jack quickly got up from their chairs, taking a step back, eyes wide and utterly floored by Vlad's sudden outburst.
"V-Vladdie I-"
"I said get out!" He gazed at the two with all the hate he could muster, the low light from the laptops almost making his sapphire eyes glow green…
Madie raised her hands in surrender. Shaken and unsure on what to do about how their friend was strangely behaving. "V-Vlad, dear… you have to calm down…"
She dodged another book thrown in her direction, as the orderlies rushed into the room to see what all the commotion was about.
"Get out, GET OUT!"
The two orderlies that had entered the room looked at Maddie and Jack. "Will you two step outside?"
Shocked, the two didn't put up any resistance as they were escorted out of the door.
Vlad slammed back down on his bed, hands holding his head as his heart broke.
The way they had looked at him…
Hot tears fell as he gazed at the ceiling once more. Heart constricting painfully as his pain only increased in severity with every passing moment.
Turning to lay on his side, his cries turned into sobs as could only lay there helplessly.
His sobs wracked his frame as he scrunched himself in a tight ball, the tears flowing like a broken dam as his arms wrapped around his body in a pitiful attempt to comfort his agony.
Tears for the present.
Tears for the future.
Tears for what would never be.
…
'No…'
Vlad pulled at his hair in frustration as his ears picked up the sound of a familiar pair of footsteps slowly approaching his room.
He thought for sure that they would not return. That yesterday's sudden outburst would be the last straw. The straw that would finally break their resolve and guilt, and they would finally move on with their lives, facing a bright unhindered future without him dragging them down.
Yet… Here they were…
"Hey V-Man!" Sounded the familiar voice as the door opened. Cheery, yet conservative demeanor normal, as if he hadn't almost bitten off their heads yesterday with his sudden tantrum.
His head felt like it was going to explode as his frustration grew.
"GET OUT JACK!"
He didn't even open his eyes, instead kept them scrunched shut as his hands pressed hard on his face in an attempt to block out the pain. He didn't want to see the pained expression on their faces as he flat out rejected them.
A part of him said he should. That he deserved to see the pain he was causing them.
He pushed that thought away. He was too much of a coward to fuel his misery at the moment. Not while his only salvation stood right at the door.
"Okay hun… we will be back tomorrow." Came Maddie's gentle voice.
He listened with his sensitive hearing as their footsteps slowly faded away, his teeth clenched so hard, he thought they would shatter.
….
He tried.
By god he tried.
Every Time they visited him, he snapped angrily at them. At first, his outburst was solely based on the words 'get out', but as they kept insisting on stopping by, his verbal attacks became more elaborate.
He started to insult them. How incompetent they were for failing to find a cure, saying that he blamed them for the accident that would ruin his entire life, how he loathed to see their normal, unscathed faces.
All lies. Lies he told to push them away. Anything to get them to stop coming. For them to leave him to rot.
Because a thing like him had no future. No hope.
No purpose.
But they always came back the next day.
…..
They didn't give up. They just wouldn't stop…
His mind was blank, as it mostly was, as he sat in the hospital bed, gazing at the white sheet that covered his legs without really seeing anything.
Even in his bland state, he could always hear the sound of those familiar footsteps. Footsteps that would always pull him out of the brink of despair. A sound that would spark an involuntary light within the darkness of his heart.
Anger rose and mixed with his ever increasing despair. The sapphire eyes went from dull to almost intensely bright in less than two seconds.
"Hi Vladdie." Jack's beaming voice had become very subdued with each outburst.
Vlad tightened his hands into fists. Hard.
They just wouldn't stop! No matter how hard he tried to push them away, they still came back the next day. Even if their visits had turned into momentary greetings only to be removed by his outbursts or sometimes even by the orderlies when he got really verbally aggressive.
His eyes closed tightly as his body began to shake. A whirlwind of so many different emotions coursing through his head.
"Why?"
He wasn't worth their time and effort. Even if he did not have a disfigured face and a terrible future ahead of him, he isn't worth all this...
Jack and Maddie blinked at the soft question. They had been bracing for an all out yelling and aggression bout from their charcoal haired friend, as had unfortunately been the norm for days.
"Why?" He repeated louder this time. Face grimacing and full of emotional pain.
The two friends glanced at each other at the door. Both afraid to utter a single word or even move, lest they upset Vlad in the worse way an he returns to yelling at them again.
"W-Why do you care so much.." He asked feebly, his body having lost all energy as he sagged. Spent and tired of fighting. Of feeling pain.
Tears began to fall from his eyes, but he was too exhausted to keep them from falling.
Even though they couldn't see how defeated Vlad's expression was, they could hear how broken he was by how he said the work.
"I'm, I'm h-hideous. A m-monster…" He began to sob.
Maddie and Jack were by his side in an instant and hugged him tightly.
He was too pained and tired to fight the embrace.
And the affections that his friends showed him, even after he had done all he could to push them away, hurt even more.
Especially as he noted that for the first time, Jack's embrace wasn't cutting off his air circulation.
He sobbed even harder as he was held lovingly by his two loyal best friends.
Two friends that refused to abandon him. Refused to turn their backs on him in his darkest hour.
They would stick by him through thick and thin. Regardless of how far he fell, how much he broke, they would always be there to help put the pieces back together again.
Like family.