Quick update, I know, but whatever.

Still not owning it anymore then I did a few hours ago.

--

Deciding to kill yourself was not a thing you just came up with suddenly. Allen had been thinking about it since the night he was raped. He had been plagued by horrific flashbacks, night mares and sudden feelings of sickness for three days, with no sign of it letting up. He attempted to consider telling someone, but if he did, what would they think? They'd think he was disgusting, they'd think he was stupid for not fighting back. He'd tried to fight back, but the pain had made almost impossible to move.

And now, he couldn't even bare for his best friend whom he loved to touch him... No, he couldn't even look at him without feeling pain.

'Allen?' Lavi's voice cut through the younger boy's thoughts, 'Something wrong with your food? You're not eating.'

Allen blinked and looked down at the sandwich in his hand, only a small bite taken from the side. He sighed.

'Nah, I'm just not that hungry...'

Lavi sighed. Allen had been acting normal after he got out of the bathroom, but he'd quickly reverted back to being mopey. He reached forward and touched Allen's hand. Normally this would cause Allen to blush and stutter, but instead he withdrew his hand quickly, a pained look on his face.

'Allen, seriously, I know you. There's something wrong. Tell me.'

'No Lavi...' Allen shook his head.

'Is it something I've done?'

'What? No, you're great... Look, I'm just a bit upset at the moment cos... Well, cos my parents called and they said they would be gone for the rest of the year and I'm sick of them missing my birthday every year, as well as Christmas.'

'Really?' Lavi's one visible eye widened, 'Well if you feel that way maybe you should talk to them, ask them to come home.'

'No, I can't ask them to do that, they have important work.'

'Work more important then you? Come on Allen, they're your parents, I'm sure they'd come home.'

'It's fine...'

'But-'

'Drop it Lavi.'

Allen's tone was so commanding and final Lavi shut his mouth. The white haired boy then stood up.

'I'll see you later Lavi.'

Before Lavi could return his goodbye, he left.

As he walked home, he thought of Lavi and his throat burned. He'd been so concerned, and Allen had just lied through his teeth. But how could you tell your best friend you couldn't stand to look at them without feeling pain? How could you tell them you wanted to die?

You couldn't.

--

When Allen got home he locked the door and went to feed the fish. He was surprised to find them belly up on the surface of the tank, but then realised he hadn't fed them in three days. He sighed heavily and went up the stairs to his room. It was a simple room of a typical teenager. It had an unmade bed with mismatched sheets and covers, the walls were covered with posters of bands and the occasional anime poster. There was a bookcase next to a dresser, and the floor was littered with pieces of paper and the odd bit of clothing.

He went over to the bookcase and pulled out a photo album. He curled up on his bed and flicked through it, watching as the people reappearing in the pictures aged from children to teenagers. At the start of the book it was just him and his parents, him as a baby, then as a toddler. Then he was joined by a boy with messy red hair and a cheesy grin, an eye patch covering one eye, which he had lost in the fire that killed his parents after a piece of burning wood hit him. There were pictures of other people too, the stoic face of the Japanese boy Kanda Yu, that had moved to their school, the Chinese girl Lenalee, who Lavi flirted with and causing an immeasurable amount of Jealousy in Allen in the process, and other students their age they had met over the years.

Allen would miss them, but it's not like it would be a big loss to them. He was the shy boy who looked kind of strange, never making an impact on people, never doing anything special. Kanda wouldn't miss him, all they did was fight. Lenalee might be sad, but she was sad about everything. His parents... Well, they hardly knew he existed, he doubted if they could even find time to go to his funeral.

And Lavi...

Well, he wasn't sure what Lavi would do, how he would react... Well, they had been friends since primary school, so he would be sad. But would he cry? Would he go to his funeral? Would he remember him? He didn't know, but then, Allen might have been in love with him, but he didn't return those feelings. He would be sad, but he'd eventually get over it, and find a new friend, or a girlfriend.

The world wouldn't miss Allen Walker.

--

Allen opened the door to his parent's rarely-used room and went over to the large desk in the corner. He opened the draws and shuffled through them, until he found it; a small wooden hilt. He picked it up delicately, pressed a switch on the side and a sharp jagged blade popped out. Before his father was a scientist, he'd been in the army, and he'd kept this knife with him as protection. It could slice through anything, guaranteed to kill the opponent if used correctly.

To test it out, he pressed the blade to the tender white skin on the underside of his arm. There was a small amount of pain as it sliced through from the slightest pressure, red liquid beading along the metal before pooling and sliding down to his hand. He cleaned the knife on the inside of his jacket and then hurried out of the room to the bathroom, where he turned on the tap and began to rinse the blood off.

'That's quite a paper cut you got there.'

Allen gasped and yelled, and wizzed around to see Lavi stading behind him. He weakly grabbed the sink basin to stop his suddenly weak knees from giving out.

'L-Lavi... What-'

'You left your wallet at the restaurant,' Lavi explained, holding it up. He glanced at Allen's arm.

'What happened there?'

'Tripped and cut myself on a broken tile.'

'Hm...'

Without another word, Lavi gently grabbed Allen's injured arm, and reached up into the bathroom cupboard where he knew the bandages were. He unrolled one and began wrapping Allen's arm. As he did, he looked at the shorter boy. His eyes were downcast, his expression sad, with just the faintest hint of pink on his cheeks.

'Allen... Did you do this on purpose?'

'No...' Allen shook his head. There it was, another lie. He never thought in all of history he would need to lie to Lavi like this, and now, all he had done was lie to him. He wished that night had never happened, he wished things had been different.

'Are you sure?' Lavi's voice was calm and unjudgemental, and full of honest concern. Allen felt his heart scream as he shook his head again.

'Lavi, I didn't cut myself.'

Lavi slowly nodded, and let Allen's hand slip out of his. He put the wallet on the counter, then went to the door. Before he left, he paused.

'Listen, Allen, I want you to know you don't need to hide anything from me, if theres anything at all you need to talk about... I wont judge you.'

'Goodbye, Lavi.'

Allen's voice was flat, and lacked any emotion at all. All Lavi could do was smile and leave.

--

Wow, angsty. But come on, who doesn't love angst?

REVEIW!