Kevin had returned him in just over twenty minutes. The bus wasn't packed and he was able to relax for the first time since falling in the water. He got off the bus, his hand still lingering over the cut on his arm and hand, and walked over to his house. He really hoped that his father wasn't there. He just wanted to be alone. And though he hated the feeling of loneliness and being on his own with no one to be with him, he actually wanted to be on his own. He approached his house and he started to feel anger when he saw his father's patrol car sitting in the driveway. Why on earth would his father be home? Oh right, to check on him and make sure that he's okay. Now that's he's hurt. Kevin rolled his eyes and walked over to the front door. He unlocked it with his keys and stepped inside. Sure enough, the house was warm. Probably from the heater and the fireplace being on. Kevin pulled off the coat that Cheryl had let him borrow and he placed it on the chair that was always resting near the front door.

He walked inside the small townhouse and shut the front door as quietly as he could. But obviously not quiet enough. "Kevin? Is that you?" called the worried voice of his father. Kevin turned to see his father walk inside of the hall near the front door. Tom walked over to his son and moved to check his temperature. Kevin moved back away from him. Tom yanked his hand back as soon as his son moved away. He stood there just looking at him.

"W-What are you... doing home?" Kevin asked, moving to rub his arms through his shirt sleeves. He was shivering again. He should have know his high of feeling good and happy would have gone away as soon as he saw Betty or Moose or his father. "I thought that you were in-investigating Clifford Blossom's s-secret d-d-drug trade."

"You're shivering son, come here." Tom said, moving to take him lightly by the shoulders. Kevin moved away from the touch but allowed his dad to lead him into their living room. Kevin was sat down onto the floor. The fire did seem to warm him up a bit. Tom got up and grabbed a thick comforter and wrapped it around his child's shoulders. Tom moved so that he could hug his son and give him some extra body heat but Kevin moved away. To bit his lip and he just stayed seated by his child. He leaned forward to see his face and he noticed his hand was clothed with a scarf. "What happened to your hand?"

Kevin looked down at his hand that was still covered in his scarf. He didn't want to tell his father. His father would not leave him alone if he told him how he cut himself. "I um... I um cut myself when Moose and Archie pulled me out. The ice was as thick and sharp as glass." Kevin lied. "Cheryl didn't really have any bandages, so she just used this."

"Well let me wrap that up for you." Tom said moving to get up.

"No. No, don't worry about it. I'll take care of it later... just leave me alone, okay."

"Kevin, no. I-"

"You're only here with me b-because I'm hurt. If I hadn't of saved Cheryl or gotten a bit of hypo-hypo... t-thermia, you wouldn't be here with me. You'd st-st-still be at the station and you still be working with Mayor McCoy. You left me a-alone for almost a fu-fu-full month." Kevin shivered.

Tom moved to touch his son. "Kevin... listen I-"

"I'm going to my room, I need a hot shower." Kevin said, standing up and taking off the blanket that his dad had wrapped around him.

"Kevin wait, please..." Tom called, but he just watched as his son walked off and up the stairs to his bedroom. He heard the door slam and then the shower start. Tom followed his son up the stairs and into his bedroom. His previously damp clothes were already scattered on the ground and his bathroom door was locked. Tom walked over and knocked very lightly. "Kev?"

"Leave m-me alone." Kevin responded back. "You did it before, you'll d-d-do it again when something else hap-p-ppens. Why should today be any different-t?"

"Kevin I-"

"Just leave me alone."

Tom leaned back from the door and it took everything in him as a father to not knock again and try to speak to his child. Tom took a step back and sighed. "Okay. I'm make you something to eat. I'll leave it by the door." Tom walked out of the bedroom and closed the door behind him. He walked back down the steps and started to cook as best as he could. He made the broth and cut the vegetables, making one of his mother's favorite soups for being sick or cold weather. He poured the soup into a bowl and prepared a mug of his son's favorite coffee blend. He added them to a tray just as he heard the water stop upstairs. He walked up the stairs and knocked on his son's door again. "Kev?"

There was no response.

Tom opened the door to see his son laying down in his bed completely asleep. His hair was damp and had wrapped himself in his thick and soft plaid comforter. Tom put the tray down on his son's desk and approached him, checking his temperature on the side of his neck. He was warm... but nothing that some rest and warmth couldn't fix. Tom moved his son to the middle of the bed and rubbed his shoulder lovingly. In his sleep, Kevin shoved himself away. "Please..." he muttered in his sleep, turning to the other side and shaking his head on the pillow. "Please don't go away... please..."

Tom moved over and he pressed the back of his palm on Kevin's head. It was hotter than his neck. It was a fever. Tom got up and rushed to his son's bathroom. He walked inside and grabbed one of the clean washcloths and ran it under the cold water. He didn't notice the blood that was in on the tiled ground of the shower. Tom ran to his child and pressed the washcloth onto his forehead. Kevin gasped at the cold feeling, still asleep but reveling in the feeling of cold and comfort. Tom looks at his son and sighs for allowing himself to not do this more. Why on earth hadn't he ever taken a day off? Why hadn't he seen that Kevin needed his parent right at that moment? Tom pulled the cloth back and he walked over to put it back in the bathroom. He walked back out to his son in the bed and checked his temperature again with his palm. He was cooled off a bit now, but the sleep would help his fever.

Sheriff Keller leaned back to take a seat in the chair that Kevin kept for reading. He sat on something by accident and he looked back to see what it was. It was a book. Tom thought about how much Kevin looked reading and he picked up the book. It wasn't a novel, but it was a journal. Tom didn't know that his son owned a journal. It was made of red leather with indentations of roses on it. It was closed by a a strip of black leather connected to the back. Tom sat back down on the chair and looked at the journal. Did his son actually write in this thing? And if he did, what did he write? He looked back up at his son, who was still napping soundly. Ater making sure he was still sleeping, he opened the journal. Kevin's full name was written in purple gel ink and his almost perfect script.

He flipped through a few of the pages, seeing that Kevin had started writing in this journal at the beginning of the summer. From what Tom skimmed, his son seemed pretty happy. His entries always about a summer party that he went to with Betty, shopping he did with Cheryl and any new book that he read that week. Tom smiled at his son's writing, about how happy he was. He felt as if he was reading a novel. Kevin was certainly an amazing writer. But as he skimmed another page, he saw an entry from July fourth. The day that everything changed in Riverdale. Tom looked at the page, the entry was only three sentences long excluding the date.

July 4th

Jason Blossom is dead. I can't imagine how Cheryl must feel. She must be so alone.

Tom looked at the next entry in the page, which was from weeks afterward.

July 30th

My dad's not sleeping again. I know he thinks that I can't hear him, but all I can hear is his muttering and sobbing. He's so upset. I think it's because he's imagining me as Jason Blossom and he's imagining if I was the one that drowned in the river. Poor dad. I wish I can say something, but I know I can't. I have no experience in any of this. Helping my father with cooking and cleaning? That I can do.

But helping him after he spent weeks looking for the body of teenage playboy Jason Blossom? I can't.

I hope that dad just knows that he's not alone. I'll always be here for him.

Tom smiled. Kevin was always so selfless like that. So caring and kind. Why hadn't he said these things instead of writing them in a journal? He would have listened. He would have cared to hear his son's condolences. Tom flipped the pages to see the next entry. It wasn't a written entry, it had a few Polaroid photographs taped to it. One was of him and Betty, one of was of Betty and Archie posing stupidly, another of Moose and Kevin posing with Moose's new black eye, another one of Kevin laughing on Archie's back and then a big photo in the middle with all four of them smiling in the camera. Tom smiled. His son looked so happy. The next entry had skipped a while and it was apparently now September.

September 6th

There's a new girl at school. Her name is Veronica. When we met, she said we should be best friends since I'm gay. I don't know what that's supposed to mean, but it feels like I'm just a stereotype to her. I already don't like her. And today at lunch, Betty cancelled our plans to go to Pop's to try out for River Vixens. Don't get me wrong, I will always support Betty and her dreams to be a writer or a cheerleader or whatever the hell this week. But what annoys me is that she's just going this year because of this Veronica girl. I feel like she might be a problem, but I'm keeping my hopes up.

Maybe this is just me being jealous. Maybe she'll be a good friend in the future.

Tom immediately when to the next entry, which was from a day after. He already knew from the first name in the entry what had happened when Kevin wrote this journal entry.

September 7th

I found Jason Blossom's body.

Everything had honestly been so terrible that this is the rotten cherry on top of the mud cake. Today was supposed to fun. It was the back to school dance and I was excited to spend it with Betty, Archie and Veronica. Update on that, she's actually a pretty nice girl. I really like her so far. Things were going fine at first. I even got asked out. By Moose Mason. Freaking Moose Mason! I thought that everything was going fine. And then Betty asked Archie to be her boyfriend and then the three just left me. They ignored me. I looked for them everywhere. I didn't even get a damned text message.

Moose took me out then. We were going to go to Sweetwater River and... do some things. But like I said. I found Jason Blossom's body. He was waterlogged. And there was a bullet hole in his forehead. Dear God, it was horrible. Moose had hold me because I threw up and almost fainted. I've always wanted him to hold me but not like this. I police came and then... no one acknowledged me. No one asked me if I was alright. No one asked if I needed help. No one asked me if I wanted to go home. Not even dad. He was there. He was pulling out the body and calling the Blossoms. I left the forest on my own and no one even noticed.

Dad only asked about it when he got home hours after. He didn't even know that I had a panic attack. He didn't know that I freaked out. He didn't know or ask. I'm guessing that I was left on my own all the time today. Maybe today will better.

Tom thought back to that night. Kevin was right. He had been there at the River when Kevin discovered Jason's body. But he didn't know that it was his son that discovered the body until one of his deputy's said that Moose was with Kevin at the time of discovering the body. And Tom did not ask Kevin at all if he was okay until when he had gotten home. Tom looked over and flipped to the next entry. It was now almost a full two months since the last entry. But there was no entries from two dates on that page.

November 1st

I know that I've kind of neglected this for the past two months but I just... I just need to vent. Everyone is gone. Everyone left me. Betty left me for Jughead. Archie left me for Veronica. Moose left me for Midge. Dad left me for the Jason Blossom case. And now I'm just by myself. I'm alone.

November 2nd

Maybe if I left this small town, no one would notice. Maybe if I wasn't born, nobody's lives would be affected. No one would care. No one would miss me.

"Dad?" Tom looked up and saw that his son was awake now. He was sitting up in his bed and he was looking at the journal inside Tom's hands. "That's private, you're not supposed to read that. Give that to me!"

Tom stood up and held the book away from his son as he reached for it. "Do you really think that I wouldn't miss you if you left? Do you really think that I wouldn't lose my mind? Huh?!"

Kevin got out of the bed and snatched the journal from his father. "This... is was none of your business! And don't you act like you care now. You only care because I was hurt."

"I care because you're my son!" Tom yelled. "Listen Kevin, you and I can-"

The two were interrupted by Tom's phone ringing. Kevin looked down at the phone and he sighed. For once he actually thought that his father cared. That he would be there for him once things were explained. Tom looked over at his child with sympathy in his eyes.

"Just go." Kevin said.

"Kevin, no. Listen I-"

"Just get out dad! Just go..."

Kevin walked back over to his bed and he sat down on the bed. He clutched his journal close to his chest and looked down at the ground. He looked like he was about to start crying. Tom reached for his son but Kevin pushed him away. Sheriff Keller sighed and he pulled his phone out. It was the mayor's office. Tom looked back at his son. "I'll... I'll be right back, okay? I'll turn up the heat so you'll be warm."

Kevin didn't give him a response. He just looked down at the ground. Tom walked out of the room and closed the door behind him. Kevin stood up and walked to his window. He watched as his dad walked out of the house with his sheriff's hat and got inside his patrol car. Kevin watched as the car drove out of his driveway. He walked back out of his room and down to the kitchen. He felt shivers down his spine as he reached the cabinets and drawers. He unwrapped his hand and checked on the cut. The one on his palm had closed up and was just a mauve color from the dried blood. But as for the one he dripped over his forearm, it was a deeper cut. The bleeding had stopped but it was still dripping on the bandage that he replaced the scarf with.

He opened one of the drawers and pulled out the serrated knife that he used for cutting loaves for bread. He twirled it in his hand and placed it onto the same forearm. He dug a cut into his arm again, this time going a bit deeper into the skin. Kevin sobbed as the blood dripped down onto his sweater. He dropped the knife in the sink and fell down to the ground sobbing. Of goddamn course his father wouldn't care. Kevin held his bleeding wrist and he cried hard into his sweater. Why? Why did everyone leave him? Why did everyone never care about his feelings? About his pain? About his struggles. The claws of loneliness and sadness crept around and grabbed him by the neck. Kevin felt like he could breathe as he sobbed. He was probably just hyperventilating, but it felt like he was choking on his own tears. His own emotions. His own blood.

Kevin's vision started to blur as he looked up to see his journal. He had threw it on the counter when he grabbed the knife. He picked it up and opened it up to the page that was free. He grabbed a pen that was in his father's junk drawer and he wrote the date on the top.

November 15th

Life sucks. But the cutting his helping.