Good Sunday to you all! So…this chapter goes back a little in time so we see BPOV prior to "the meet". We get a little more insight to Bella and we find out why she ran away. I hope you enjoy it and it meets your expectations!

The usual, I own nothing of this universe…just my twisted little view.

Hugs, kisses and white chocolate covered oreo cookie balls to my beta's withthevampsofcourse and VJGM without which I would sound less eloquent and never learn the differences between to and too.

And to my good buddies Smellyia, Avalonia, and siDEADde who keep me up to ungodly hours discussing good literature and cross country boozing trips.

And a big shout out to Heaven's Immortal (my lovely daughter who constantly brainstorms with me on what will come next.) With that, I give your chapter 4.

BPOV

When I woke up the next morning I strangely still had the song I'd heard the previous night playing in my head. The events of the evening replayed in my mind. The college girl, Teddy the bartender, and a beautiful tortured angel. What a combination.

I switched on the coffee pot as I pulled out my clothes for the day and turned the shower on. Daily rituals, route, reliable, constant. After toasting a bagel I decided I should give Jasper a call back.

Cleaning up my breakfast mess, I dialed his number in my phone. He answered on the third ring, sounding like I'd just woken him. "Hello?"

"Hey Jasper, just returning your call. I can call later if this is a bad time." I gathered my scarf and jacket and started to head out.

"Bella. No, really, this is fine. So where were you last night? I thought you were planning on turning in early."

I locked up and stepped out onto the sidewalk. "Yeah. Well, I just wandered around, went to this little hole-in-the-wall place then came home. Nothing too big."

I heard his sheets rustling and Alice whispering in the background. "Well, I wanted to know if you could fit us into your ever-so-busy schedule today. We haven't seen you in a few days. Thought we could catch up."

I knew where Jasper was going with this. He knew what yesterday was and he wanted to see how I was holding up. He could have just said so. I really wasn't made of glass. I hated to hear the pity in his voice. I never would have told him anything about my past if Jake hadn't made a point of finding me to tell me his "wonderful" news.

"Yeah, sure Jasper, I have classes until 1:45 then I'm working my regular shift at the library. Why don't we meet at that campus coffee shop at 2:15? Alice is coming, right?"

I heard him stifle a yawn…slacker…it's 7:45 already. "Yep, she'll be there. I'll see you later Bella, must rise to meet another day. Thanks for the wake up call." I heard the shower turn on as I said my goodbye and hung up.

My day went as planned…classes, lunch, classes - ritual. At 2:10 I was walking into the small coffee shop and looking for Alice. The smell of the coffee awakened my senses and warmed me from the inside out. This coffee shop was smaller and always less crowded than the franchise stores. It was cozy and comfortable with chairs and couches scattered through out the shop.

I found Alice curled up on a small couch in the back corner of the store. I knew she'd be here; she was fifteen minutes early for everything, always. As usual, she had three steaming cups already in front of her. She always seemed to know exactly what I'd want.

"Hey Alice. Where's Jasper?"

She rose to give me a hug. "He's running a little behind. I got you the new sea salt caramel hot chocolate with whipped cream. It's divine."

I took off my jacket and sat down to grab the mug. "Thanks Alice, I've been meaning to try this. So how's it going?"

"Eh, it's good. I just got signed to work with this new design house, so I'll be doing a shoot sometime early this week. They're really on the verge of breaking out. Some of their designs are so exquisite it's hard to believe they're not working under Dolce or Armani. I'm excited to work with them."

Jasper came around the corner right as she was finished and I noticed his cheeks looked a little wind burnt. "Hey Bella." He leaned down to kiss me on the check then crossed the small space to meet Alice with a hug and kiss. "Hey babe. Sorry I'm late guys, I had to stay after with one of the students from that class I'm TA-ing."

I shook my head while I blew on my chocolate. "No problem, we're just catching up here."

Jasper took off his coat and threw it on the back of the couch he and Alice were sitting on. "So, Alice, did you ask her about Saturday?"

Alice shook her head and responded. "Nope, I didn't get that far."

I looked at the two of them. "What's Saturday?"

Jasper looked at me a little warily. "Well, we were going to go out to this little place we've heard about and we thought maybe we could all go together. Maybe grab some dinner, head out for some drinks. You know, just hang out."

I never really went out. Jasper and Alice knew this. They were always asking me to go out with them, but come on, who wants to be the third wheel? I looked to Alice who had her doe-eyed pouty thing going on. I couldn't help but chuckle. "Sure, why not. No blind dates or fix-ups right. Just the three of us, hanging out. That's it."

Alice bounced up in her seat smiling that pearly white smile with a twinkle in her eyes. "Yep, just us. No fix-ups. It's going to be a great night, I can just feel it."

Alice and her feelings. She and Jasper were great for each other; they were all about "the feelings". Both a little freaky, if you ask me. We sat and talked for a little while, but I had to leave so I could get to the library. I said my goodbyes and made my way across campus to the University Library.

Working at the library was a perfect fit for me. It was quiet and people weren't encouraged to talk. On most nights I could go my entire shift and not speak to anyone. I could work on my papers, research, read, anything. It was nice. The problem was I always finished everything I had on my to-do list while I was there. Since I had nothing immediate to think about, my mind wandered to memories I'd rather keep buried. Once those memories started coming, I was lost to them and most nights I lay awake, sleep evading me. My only remedy came in the form of a nighttime ritual.

Every night after I'd work I walk the five city blocks to the CTA line and get on the first train to arrive. I'd ride it from stop to stop, beginning to end for hours. Staring out the window, thinking about my parents, or about Jake, thinking about the things I truly didn't want to think about. When I didn't have distractions, my mind often flooded with the memories I fought so hard to forget.

When I was finally exhausted I'd get off the train, find the one that was three blocks from my house, take one final ride and collapse into bed having tired myself past the point of dreaming.

Jasper and Alice knew of these nightly excursions. To be honest, it really bothered them. They were worried I'd get mugged or attacked on the train. They'd even gone so far as to buy me pepper spray to carry in my pocket at all times. Alice tried to get me a taser but I put my foot down at that one. No way was I carrying one of those things. With my luck, it'd get turned on me. Hell to the no on that one.

So everyday I followed my ritual and every night I rode the train going anywhere. I slept and did it all again.

Saturday came upon me all too fast. I really wasn't one for going out. That bar stint last week was a rarity driven by the circumstances alone. I decided if for nothing else I needed to go out to prove to Jasper and Alice I was okay. I hadn't sunk into the dark despair they imagined.

Alice kept talking to me about fate and something great happening tonight; she really was an odd little thing. She wanted to come over and dress me up which I flatly refused. I'm a grown woman; I think I can manage getting myself dressed for dinner and drinks. So she pouted and stood fast, she acquiesced as long as I agreed to not wear my jeans and Chucks. Sometimes I really believe she is diabolical.

We met at the restaurant, which was a little hole in the wall Creole place that had just opened. The food was good and the company was great. It was a nice relaxing night out with friends. So we left the restaurant and went over to this new club. It was a musically themed place…different theme every night. Tonight was 80's pop rock night and the crowd was really into it.

I should'a worn my chucks…see, Alice wasn't always right.

I would be sure to point that out to her. "So Alice, are you thinking maybe your 'feelings' were wrong yet? My jeans and chucks would've fit in a whole lot better than these linen pants and ballet shoes."

She shook her head and smiled at me. "Silly Bella…I didn't say that you were dressing for the bar's theme. I said you needed to dress for something important to happen. Who dresses for 80's pop rock and Boy George? Come on now."

Whatever…jeans would have been better.

We found this table near the edge of the stage and ordered our drinks. Alice had excused herself to go to the bathroom, which left some time for Jasper and me to talk. "So Bella, how are you for real? Did everything go okay this week?"

I sighed a little and nodded my head. "Yes, Jasper. I'm okay. I made it through the anniversary and I'm still functioning."

He smiled a small smile at me. "Well, I know this was a big one. I wish you would let us be there for you."

"Yeah Jasper, I know. But it's something I have to do by myself. It's how it's supposed to be."

Jasper reached across the table to take my hand and just as he was about to say something, Alice bounded over to the table holding the hand of the most gorgeous blonde woman I had ever seen.

"Hey guys, guess who I found?"

A man was walking up behind the two of them carrying a bunch of drinks. He was rather tall and extremely well-built. They had to be a couple…beauty begetting beauty and all. To be honest, they were both a little bit intimidating…

Jasper rose from his chair to meet Alice. "Jasper, Bella, this is Rosalie Hale. She works for that new fashion house I was telling you guys about. I started shooting their stuff this week and I've worked with her on some of her designs. She's spectacular and it's just a matter of time before she's discovered and out on her own!"

Rosalie shook her head and rolled her eyes. "I've come to discover that Alice tends to be a little exuberant." She looked very pleased with the compliment as she tried to be modest and down play Alice's reverence.

Alice continued. "And this guy here is her fiancé, Emmett Cullen. He owns Cullen Construction, you know that firm that just landed the down town redevelopment project. I asked them to join us!"

I reached over and shook Rosalie's hand, "Exuberant doesn't even begin to describe Alice. I'm Bella Swan."

Alice laughed at my comment. "Great things Bella, I tell you. Great things tonight. And this is Jasper Whitlock. My fiancé."

Emmett put the drinks down and stuck out his hand to shake Jasper's then turned to face me. "It's nice to meet all of you."

Jasper then asked,"Would you guys like to join us? There's plenty of room at the table and it's getting kind of crowded."

Emmett and Rose agreed and I noticed Emmett walk over and borrow another chair from a neighboring table which he then plunked down next to his. "I hope you don't mind, but my cousin is also joining us tonight. He had to stop off at the hospital before he came over."

"Hospital?" I questioned. "Is everything okay?"

He laughed a deep infectious laugh and said, "Edward? Yeah, he's okay. He's a doctor. Something about checking in on a patient or something like that. He should be here soon."

We sat and talked to each other only to find there were so many things both Alice and Rosalie had in common. They were both getting married, although Rosalie and Emmett were taking the plunge first. They both worked in fashion. They both coveted all things Zac Posen and had a significant Jimmy Choo shoe collection. Better friends couldn't have been made in heaven with these two. I just sat back and laughed at their passion for all things clothing, knowing I could not participate in this conversation even if they continued trying to keep me involved. I think Rosalie was aghast that I really had no fashion sense and had no desire to create one! "But Bella, you have so much raw material to work with. You're beautiful."

I couldn't help but chuckle at that and raised my glass to her. "Says the goddess to the peasant!"

Alice shook her head at me. "Rose, honey, you have no idea. She absolutely refuses to acknowledge fashion. I've been trying for nearly two years now. It's exhausting. I think we should take her on as a project."

Rose's eyes glittered something scary at that moment and she raised her eyebrows at me. "Alice, I think you may be onto something here…"

"Oh no you two don't. Stay away from me with your poking and prodding. I'm not interested in whatever your crazy clothing line-induced minds are thinking…I'm going to go talk about cars now with the two civilized people at the table. I'm out!"

Jasper and Emmett were deep in conversation about the newest line of muscle cars and the comeback of the SS Camaro. This I can deal with. All of a sudden Emmett announced, "Hey, I'll be right back." And he got up and left the table.

I looked to Jasper and back at Rose and Alice who were still talking low and looking at me like I was one of those naked stuffed mannequin things and shivered with fear of what they were plotting. "So, Jasper, save me from the fashion police over there. I refuse to head back into that conversation."

He laughed as he polished off his beer. "I don't blame you, Bella. I have a feeling those two could wreak havoc on fashion week in Paris like no one has."

"Yeah, and they're eyeing me like a fresh piece of meat! It's kinda scary!"

Emmett made his way back to the table just as some guy went up on the stage. He must have worked at the bar because he had a shirt with the bar name on it and was wearing acid washed jeans, wrestling sneakers, an obnoxious Miami Vice type white blazer and bandanas wrapped around his wrist.

"Hey, how is everyone doing tonight?"

The crowd responded with howls! This was actually really exciting. I haven't had this much fun in a long time. I'm glad I decided to come.

"Well, we have a special guest who has agreed to do a song for us tonight. We were able to coax him to do just one…so please give him some love!"

And with that my breath caught as my angel walked onto the stage carrying an acoustic guitar. My heart stopped. The crowd noise disappeared. Everyone ceased to exist except the angel with the jade green eyes.

He sat on a stool and started playing an upbeat song as he lifted his head and looked into the audience. It was as if he looked right at me and I turned away as I felt myself blush and I started to feel nauseated.

The guitar stopped and he apologized to the crowd. Then he started playing a different song, one that was slower and showcased his guitar playing. He began singing with his eyes closed once again.

Angel of Mercy

How did you find me?

Where did you read my story?

Pulled from the papers

Desperate and hardened

Seeking a momentary fix

All I wanted to say

All I wanted to do

Is fall apart now

All I wanted to feel

I wanted to love

It's all my fault now

A Tragedy I fear

Reality slapped me in the face as I heard Alice say. "Wow, this guy is amazing."

Emmett went to say something but I cut him off. I couldn't help myself. I couldn't take my eyes off of him and everything I was thinking was suddenly coming out of my mouth.

"No Alice, amazing is a word for mortals. He's so beautiful, so raw. Can't you hear it in his voice? He's lost. He's looking for a way back."

Waiting to catch the quickest plane

Fly me to nowhere

It's better than somewhere

That's where I've been and nothing's changed

I couldn't tear my eyes from him. "I've never heard anything as beautiful as his voice. The music comes from him like oxygen."

He lifted his face once again and our eyes connected as if he was looking for me in the crowd. I knew that wasn't the case, I knew he was beyond anything I could ever hope to have. God wouldn't allow me to have an angel. I didn't deserve it.

He continued to sing and neither of us looked away. The words he sang once again reached into the depths of my soul and I felt comforted, warm. Like coming home.

I'm so lost in you

A tragedy seemed to be over now

A tragedy it seemed to be over now

I knew I was making a fool of myself but I couldn't turn away from him. As the song ended, cheers erupted from the crowd and I broke away from his intense gaze. I grabbed my drink as I noticed everyone at our table was looking at me. Emmett started to smile as I noticed someone was approaching our table.

I turned to look and saw jade green eyes starting straight into my soul.

I'm going to be sick.

I heard Emmett's voice vaguely as I started to feel beads of sweat forming on my neck. "Everyone, this is my cousin, Edward." Still his eyes didn't leave mine.

Oh my God.

"Edward, this is Alice and Jasper." His head nodded but his eyes never left mine. They were burning into my soul.

I didn't just say those things to his family.

"Alice is a photographer and she works with Rose."

God surely had one sick sense of humor. Cruel mother fucker.

"Jasper is finishing up his doctorate at Chicago U."

This is what happens when I open myself up. I'm such a fucking idiot.

"And this here…"

I had to look away.

"This, Edward, is Bella Swan."

I'm going to throw up. I reached over and grabbed my jacket just as I heard his voice.

"Bella, what a beautiful name."

I'm feeling faint. I need to breathe.

"I'm Edward, it's nice to meet you."

I stood up, trying to smile at him although the tears that were forming in my eyes just then made it hard to see him clearly.

"Yeah, you too. Jasper I'm not feeling well. I have to go. Nice to meet all of you." And I did what I do best. I left. I ran. I'm such an idiot. I can't believe I did that.

I grabbed a cab outside as Alice was coming out of the bar. "Bella, what's going on? Please, don't leave."

"Are you kidding, Alice? Seriously? You're kidding right? Did you see the monumental ass I just made of myself? I honestly hope to never see any of those people ever again in my life. I'm going home, Alice. Please, just leave me alone."

And with that I got in the cab and gave the driver my address. As we moved away from the bar I started to cry. God damn it…I'm such a fool. God damn it.

We reached my apartment and I went right to the bathroom and took off my clothes as I remembered Alice telling me something important was going to happen.

That's a fucking understatement. Something important did happen - I remembered my place and it wasn't among people like Rosalie Hale or Emmett Cullen. I didn't even really belong with people like Alice and Jasper. I'm where I belong.

Alone.

I slid down the wall as the tears continued to fall. This is where I belong…

A/N:

So…there you have it. A little peek into Bella. She is very desolate and lonely but unwilling to open herself up. We will learn more as to why.

Please leave me a review, it makes me giggly!

Thanks for reading!