Chapter 4
"You need a change" he said.
"Excuse me?" she stopped stirring her milk and stared at him.
"You need to change your place of writing" he said "I am saying this as your editor"
She laughed, and he was distracted "I know you hate my house Hiwatari"
"That's not true" he answered "You know that"
She still grinned biting her lip. Her eyes were teasing him.
They were at lunch and for once she didn't have her notebook out. She had seemed to have made a lot of progress on the new story though she had informed him yesterday that she now had a writer's block. She had woken up in a horrible state, sweating and screaming and the moment she had seen him she had almost hit him. After calming her down considerably they had agreed it was a bad dream.
A bad dream; Hiwatari didn't want to think about it.
"So where do you suggest Hiwatari-san" she was still grinning.
He thought about it, contemplating for a second. An idea struck him and she knew it immediately but she let him think whether it was wise or not.
"My place" he said. Her grin disappeared and her eyebrows rose.
"You're characterising me, it'll help with the research and you'll have a different place to write in"
She didn't speak and her apprehension was clear. Hiwatari knew that to some extent she trusted him and didn't think ill of him, but maybe not as much as he thought.
"Okay" he heard her speak softly "We could try it"
"Good" he tried to sound like he wasn't totally unsure about it himself "You can come tonight"
"Tomorrow" she said, and he grinned.
"Tomorrow"
She was a bit more than nervous. And she could not deny that she was exited as well and that only made her feel worse. The last time she had been there everything had happened so fast that there had been no chance to actually see the place.
She rang the bell.
She could hear nothing for a while and then footsteps and a voice became louder. The door swung open, Hiwatari stood in front of her holding a phone. He motioned her inside.
She stepped inside, mentally apologising for intruding. She was definitely losing her mind!
Kia removed her shoes and when she looked up she was presented with the humongous living room. It was dark and kept neatly. On one end were double doors that let in the wild city lights and she was mesmerized for some moments. Directly in front of her were two doors from where a short corridor began.
It was open and free and all the windows she could see had their curtains drawn and were open, letting in the cold autumn air. Everything in sight was bold, contemporary but still carried an expensive and masculine aura with it.
Hiwatari had disappeared into the kitchen which didn't have a door to it only a large space devoid of wall.
The kitchen was also open and neat with a counter with high stools replacing a dining table and it was here Hiwatari sat, concentrating on the voice of another person. She stood uncomfortably, but he didn't seem to notice her. The bag slung across her chest felt heavy.
He was nodding now, occasionally drinking out of a mug. His elbow was on the counter and he was leaning forward. He frowned then and wanted to interrupt but kept back; she looked into his eyes.
Her body took support from the wall, and she felt dizzy. The cream of the wall blended with his dark hair and blurred into a grey that had patterns of crimson upon them. His unusually thick eyelashes made her angry and jealous. He was interested in the conversation, the depth of his eyes told her that and it was beautiful, but he wasn't looking at her.
She remembered to breathe and she didn't feel afraid. She was conscious and in control. She could handle it now, she wasn't that weak.
He talked now and her eyes drifted to his lips and she could faintly remember an emotion she felt when he had kissed her. It made her blush and she didn't think about it anymore.
She looked away but still felt hot. He said goodbye soon after and stood up and smirked at her.
"Good evening, what would you like?" he had a charming face on, looking frighteningly like a deceiving devil.
"Water please" her voice was low and grouchy.
He nodded and moved to get it for her. He moved towards her to give it to her and waited while she drained it.
"We can work in the study" he informed her, then he slipped past through her, their shoulders brushing and she turned to follow him down the corridor.
They entered through the second door on the right which was made of translucent glass. He opened it for her and as she stepped her heart did a little flip. It was similar to the room in Moscow.
There was a couch in the corner with cushions littered on the floor near it and two overflowing shelves were stationed next to it. There was a small table on one side with a sleek computer on it, but a square low Japanese took up the space in the middle and on it was Hiwatari's laptop and papers. She also saw some sketch books peeping from somewhere.
He pushed her in, a little aware of the recognition she was feeling.
"Sorry about the mess" he muttered moving to clear space for her. But a hand caught his. She laughed in delight and he stared at her in slight astonishment. But smiling with that same wonder she reached rapidly into her bag and took out her notebook.
Hiwatari watched her expressions change rapidly as she wrote things down and slowly he led her to the couch. She dropped down and directed her shining gaze at him.
"This place is so great!" it seemed her writer's block wouldn't last long.
Hiwatari smirked now, he was almost glad she liked it. She proceeded to point out that there was a low table in the room and that it was so cosy and looked so much lived in than the rest of the house and how he was really messy by nature.
"It's exactly like that room in-" she cut her words short and she blushed such a deep red that he knew exactly what memory was running through her head.
"What room?" he questioned innocently, knowing he was close to crossing the line they had carefully drawn.
She didn't look at him, her voice shaking.
"That room you had painted, on the third floor, where you drew, where…."……where we kissed.
"Where what?" he was closer than she remembered and he knew he shouldn't be doing this, it was dangerous, in many ways.
She looked up and was caught; his eyes were pulling her and refusing to let her come closer at the same time. She drew in a cold breath that froze her heart. He refused to blink.
"……where I intruded" she was whispering but he was close enough to hear her.
"I didn't mind" what was the assurance for; that he didn't mind? And if so, what was it that he had no problem with?
"No I didn't think so" was it forgiveness for terrifying her? Was it acceptance to the attraction?
He smirked and his eyes gleamed and she knew he was warning her but she wasn't scared. He wasn't exactly the way he used to be. She felt increasingly faint, he was too overwhelming.
Her eyes drooped and he noticed but didn't move away, he kneeled in front of her and leaned in. She knew she was going to slip away. Maybe he knew as well.
Her energy had almost gone and she subconsciously thought that she would love to die this way. His breath breezed over her lips, she shut her eyes.
As she gave way to darkness she felt a little warmth on her mouth and a slight wave of ecstasy. Then it was gone.
She didn't remember, she probably thought it was a dream. When she woke up half an hour later he told her she had walked in tired and then had been asleep moments after she had sat down. She apologised, he said it was fine.
He didn't tell her he kissed her.
He didn't tell her he had watched her after that, with fear enough to go mad. He had made the mistake, he had crossed the line – it wouldn't be forgiven. He had sketched her after that, his interpretation of the feeling blurring his vision and breaking the rules.
She now came every day. It seemed she had taken a great liking to his house. They worked till late, he insisted upon dropping her and the whole routine was repeated the next day. He was getting used to it too quickly.
"Why do have such a huge house?" she asked him one day while taking a break.
"I bought it last year; while my mother and Calica were here they insisted on a big one. I think they were trying to get me married and settled" she giggled, trying to imagine it.
"So you can be manipulated by the females in your life?"
"Do I look like I'm married yet?" she pretended to think that over and then had an idea and picked up her notebook. He was immediately wary.
"What's your ideal woman?" he voice was controlled and business like.
He went quiet and she noticed his eyes went flat. He spoke in a neutral voice.
"Mature, intellectual…… Not outspoken, dignified and feminine" he watched her intently.
She took note of this, immediately noticing the difference between his vision and herself. An uneasy silence fell. They returned to working.
He gave her a key, for when he didn't get home soon enough. She knew where things were kept now and helped herself to drinks and food much like he had when he came to her place; it was strangely and dangerously intimate.
He was late one day and as she worked his phone rang and after hesitating she picked it up. A lady spoke his name.
"Sorry" Kia said "he's not home, is there any message I can give him?"
The woman sounded very surprised and before Kia could ask for a name she had hung up. Kia forgot to tell him
It had been a month and half of working at his apartment when things started to change. Kia had enough material to start the main bulk of the story and she didn't need to see him all the time, but she didn't tell him that. She didn't tell herself why.
Every opinion she had of him contradicted with another. She resented his behaviour at most times but accepted it. He was polite and made no mistake; sometimes it made her feel as if there was absolutely nothing wrong with him. Then she would catch a mistake or peer into the messy study in the corner of his apartment and she would be worried.
When she had stayed with his family he had been the same. Outwardly there was nothing wrong and then she would get a glimpse of a smirk and a menacing gleam in his eyes. She knew something was going to go wrong.
She was quite aware of when he watched her, and it didn't always make her feel safe; that was when she became paranoid. What if things started to go haywire, would it be so bad? They knew each other, she did not hate him. Was he playing another game with her?
It was difficult to remain detached now. He wasn't making any effort to keep things withheld and surely that was not a problem. She glanced from the corner of her eye and sure enough he was watching her, their eyes met, he smirked, she scowled.
"What are you staring at?" she snapped.
"You" he called from across the room. She had insisted on working in the living room, it kept them further apart.
She shifted uncomfortably at his comment, fighting down a blush. His smirk widened and her scowl deepened.
"May I enquire why?"
"Of course" he leaned back, haughty and mischievous. She gritted her teeth.
"Why?"
"'Why' what?"
"Why are you staring at me?"
"Because I want to" he said shortly, amusing himself with her impatience. But she knew this.
"Very well then" a smiled slipped on to her face "Keep staring"
When she looked up five minutes later he was still gazing, his eyes were guarded but his expression was frighteningly tender.
"Hiwatari" she let a whine enter her tone
"Tilwaree-san" he returned perfectly amiably.
At that moment her mobile rang and they both looked away. She rummaged through her bag to find it but as she did the call was cut off. At that moment Hiwatari got up and walked to the kitchen. Her eyes followed him but then she focused on her notebook again. Absently she wrote something.
Her attention never really returned and she stared out through the double glass doors at the city lights, but she wasn't quite focused on that either. Her eyelids were slowly drooping now and she wondered if Hiwatari would tease her tomorrow about always falling asleep at his place. It must've been the fifth, no sixth, time.
But he walked back in just in time and her eyes snapped back open. Instead of walking past her, he squeezed down next to her. She was not quick enough to hide the notebook.
"Cute, huh?" he grinned at her.
"It's not about you!" she denied.
"Then who?"
"This man I saw on the tube" then she blushed and he smirked and nodded acceptingly. After a while she growled
"Don't get too ahead of yourself, it doesn't mean anything" she told him stiffly
"Of course Tilwaree-san" he looked back smugly at her.
She turned away resignedly. This arrangement was going to get her into trouble.
Little did she know trouble had finished its business a long time ago and danger was in full play.
Hiwatari was waiting for her. He hadn't, mentally admitted it to himself but he was also aware that he continually looked at his watch every few minutes, seconds.
She had not told him she would be late but it had only been a half hour, though the clock was ticking towards three quarters of one. He would wait an hour, he decided, then he would call her. And he waited. But it deemed unnecessary, because forty three seconds before then end of the hour, and Hiwatari was watching, his front door was pushed open.
He was on his feet immediately; he turned and came to an abrupt halt facing the doorway. He moved back and entered the bathroom in the hallway, grabbed a towel and returned to the entrance. It was enough time to compose himself.
He held out the towel to her, but she was still struggling out of her coat. She beamed up at him and his head instinctively turned away. She did not notice.
The girl, because she could be no more than that ever, was drenched. To the skin, he noted discreetly.
Unfortunately for him the towel was first used to dry her precious hair and he stood close to her looking pointedly away. He did not question why she was dressed differently, but just took in the fact that she was. Discomfort washed over him.
She was wearing a short, pleated skirt and a thin blouse under her coat. Her legs were outlined by translucent, dark tights and she was balancing on high boots. Which didn't seem to come off, apparently.
He motioned her to enter anyway and she grinned in thanks. This time she noticed his evasiveness and frowned. But she did not speak.
He followed her through the short corridor, a bit surprised to see her walk so easily. Her wild exterior always pulled him short. Now she looked feisty, not wild. Difficult, but not untameable.
"Do you want to change?" he spoke with his back to her, rude but unavoidable.
"What?" she was distracted "No, that's not necessary"
He almost swore and when she got up and left the room, presumably to go to the toilet he did swear aloud.
He did not need any more coaxing and she was providing him with too much, however unintentionally. His denial was at its edge and she was gently pushing him over and at the moment he was at the stage where dropping everything and just letting the whole thing run uncontrollably sounded most appealing.
Once he figured what the 'thing' was anyway.
She walked back in and unfortunately he glanced at her and saw her hair was now left wild and her tights had come off. She was back to being the girl again, but it didn't make anything much better.
She dropped to the floor onto one of his large cushions and stared up exhausted at him. He met her gaze. She looked away and pulled his laptop in front of her and started working on it. Minutes later she was humming.
He decided to let her be and settled close to her with his back leaning on the couch. As she shifted positions and lay on her stomach using her elbows to prop her up Hiwatari could have groaned. His eyes scraped over her thin legs and he breathed deeply and looked away.
Her legs stayed locked with each other and she swung them back and forth, distracted and clearly not working. He was a bit intrigued and positioned himself to sit next to her so he was facing the screen of his computer.
She grinned at him when her changed positions. She was reading and it wasn't anything useful.
"I am not going to work tonight" she informed his raised eyebrows. "I deserve a day off; I have just succeeded in finishing a chunk of the new book"
He nodded silently, shaking his head bemusedly. He turned back to her face, but her attention was back at the computer.
Minutes of silence passed and then she started fidgeting again, pushing her hair out her face absently. Hiwatari watched her struggling, and then finally reached over and grabbed a pen.
As his hands touched her hair she tensed, but did not pull away. He gathered the curls together and twisted them together gently. Positioning them, he carefully slid the pen through them. Predictably a few strands fell free, but most stayed; they stayed where he had put them.
He was mesmerized by her tangled hair and she consented in staying still until the awkwardness suffocated the room. Then she spoke.
"What do you dream of?"
He smiled when he realised the significance of the question. But she couldn't see him.
"Of all that I want to have, everything I desire and everything I know I will not have"
"Have you ever tried to get it?" her voice was an uncertain whisper. He smirked and leaned down, his breath brushing against her bare neck.
"I'm trying now"
He felt and saw her tense. Then suddenly she turned and his collar was grabbed with one weak, careless hand.
"What do you want?"
He stared at her, a bit worried, not wanting to do the wrong thing. Then he spoke.
"What do you dream of?"
Her eyes were guarded and she let go of his collar but propped up on her elbows so her face was closer to his.
"I don't dream, I have nightmares" her tone was bitter and accusing.
"I'm sorry"
As he had wanted, her strength failed and she landed with a thump on her head, silently swearing. In the background her ignored mobile rang.
"Don't you dare start playing games with me again, Hiwatari" there was clear fear in her voice "I will hit you"
"You won't be able to hit too hard" he countered.
"Believe me, if I do then you'll forget everything about me"
"Impossible, you are unforgettable. And besides you wouldn't let me forget"
"How are you so sure?"
Her phone stopped ringing.
"We have a game to finish and you need me to win"
Then he kissed her. Then the phone rang again. Then she pushed him away, slowly, gently and reached to answer it. He still held her.
"Hello" he smirked at her shaking voice. She listened and her body tensed, he tightened his arms around her..
"What?!" she looked irritated "I've been busy, and yes I was at home last night"
He watched with curiosity as her annoyed expression calmed a little in resignation, she seemed comfortable in his arms, maybe she hadn't fully noticed.
She gasped suddenly and turned to look at him, he looked back with raised eyebrows. Then she was caught in the conversation again.
"That's wonderful" her voice was excited, her expression hidden "When did this happen! I'm so happy for you! Does otou-san know yet?"
She looked up and smiled at him, happily and secretly. He was curious.
"Yes, just hold a second. I'm just coming back"
She twisted in his embrace so she was facing him, she looked happy in a strange sort of way.
"When was the last time you talked to Calica-chan?" her voice held unrestrained mirth.
He tensed now and stared at her intensely.
"Who are you speaking to right now?"
"Ryushi"
He let her go quickly and noticed she was unstable, then he reached out for he phone. As he frantically dialled Kia turned back to her brother.
"Who were you talking to?" was his first question.
"No one" she answered weakly, only too aware of how closely they were sitting.
"Just tell me who the guy is Kia" Ryushi spoke patiently
"No one" she repeated
At that moment Hiwatari spoke loudly into the phone, much to Kia's displeasure. She could almost see Ryushi's exasperated expression. He paused and then demanded she tell him who was in her apartment.
"No one" she answered truthfully. In the background she heard a woman's voice, Calica-chan.
"Where are you?" she countered.
She was told that he was at this moment with his fiancée, but his voice was drowned away as Hiwatari argued on the phone, in the background from her brother's end of the line she could hear a slightly enraged voice as well.
"And I thought we were the siblings that didn't get along" Kia muttered into the phone then immediately regretted it.
"Who are you with?" Ryushi spoke with a suspicion that had already been confirmed.
"It doesn't matter" she answered quickly "I'm really glad you told me and I'm sorry I didn't get the message earlier. I will speak to you later but I have to go now"
She waited a second then whispered good health and a short 'bye' and hung up before he could intervene.
Hiwatari's conversation continued for longer and as he paced in front of her, Kia watched from her position on the floor. His questions were clipped, emotionless and formal and after a while he seemed to have accepted her decision. They spoke for a few more minutes when Kia saw him tense. He glanced at her and then hung up quickly.
"They're getting married" he sounded weak.
"Of course they are, it had to happen sometime!"
He nodded and dropped down in front of her, he stared but his eyes were unfocused.
"Hiwatari?"
"Tilwaree-san" a slight smirk appeared on his face and she turned away in a huff.
Slowly he pulled himself closer to her.
"So did I win the game?" his voice was deliberately low.
She jumped and turned red, but scowled and pushed him away, getting to her feet fluidly.
"I don't believe I can work today so I will go home, I can take the metro, and it's early enough"
He watched her hastily put her boots and coat on and as she flung her bag onto her shoulder he grabbed her arm and touched it to his lips before releasing.
"You are such a sore loser"
That must've been the most pointless chapter I've ever written, but it did have a few useful things.
Well I'm not particularly happy with it so I won't mind horribly if you too think the same.
Review!
Kia