A/N: Well, hey there. I'm back. Thank you so much to everyone who wants to read this. I can't tell you what it means to know that people are enjoying something I wrote. Just know I appreciate it. Also last chapter I lied about Alice. She'll for sure be in the next one, but this chapter kind of got away from me. Just know that she exists and she's pissed about sleeping in her makeup!
Disclaimer: I own all of the Twilight books, but the intellectual property belongs to smeyer, who, let's be real, doesn't write them into enough fun situations, so we gotta do it ourselves.
*
Working with Bella was… interesting. To say the absolute least. After completing the tour of the store's two stories, she led him into the customer service area, a large back room that mirrored the store layout, with shelves holding the second floor items, and an arched pathway that led to a large countertop lined with thin, touch screen computers. The countertop was a large, squared-off "U" shape, with a wall of windows to the left, the store entrance and exit on the right, and looked out onto the store in front. Beyond the screens facing forward and to the right, Edward could see the vast displays of clothing, and beyond that could just make out the shelves of the literature section. Looking up, he could see the balconies on the second floor, with the large chandelier hanging down.
Technically speaking, the chandelier was for sale. Everything was for sale at Cullen's Fine Goods, except the employees, of course. The clientele, however, refused to buy it, Bella had explained. "It's just such a part of the store now that no one wants to take it. They like having it here. They associate it with us." She'd smiled up at the chandelier, the golden glow off of the crystals making her pale skin luminous. He was staring again, but he couldn't help it; she was beautiful. "Plus," she said, turning her smile toward him, "Who else has room for this monstrous two-story compatible chandelier in their home?" Her smile made him feel special, invincible, like he'd buy that chandelier if she asked him to.
Cullen's Fine Goods Emporium sold a hodge-podge of anything his uncle Carlisle could find at auctions, estate sales, and online. The luxury goods store was well-known in the community for having high end merchandise for affordable prices. Affordable for antiques, one-of-a-kind pieces, and designer labels, that is. The entire second floor was dedicated to antique and luxury furniture, home goods, and décor. Sold furniture remained on the sales floor with sold tags, while the other sold items from all departments made their way to the large customer service storage room to await pick up or delivery. Near the end of the tour, they'd run into a salesman on his way to put a cuckoo clock in the service room, and Bella had immediately fallen into an easy conversation with him, leading Edward back downstairs and into his new workspace.
"Ben, my guy, my pal, my best buddy, my –" she said after making introductions, her tone light and innocent, her face a perfect mask of girlish charm. Edward would've given her anything she asked for if she looked at him like that. It was going to be a serious problem if she ever discovered exactly how much power that look held.
"Bella, I cannot get Angie to switch again, she already traded Leah and Lauren this week," the salesman, Ben, replied. They approached a large service elevator, Edward assumed to move furniture, and Bella hit the button to call it angrily, jabbing it harder than necessary and then shaking her hand to relieve the sting of her attack on the innocent button. She swore under her breath, most likely with the intention to be quiet enough that they wouldn't hear, and Edward tried very hard not to laugh.
"Benji, please!" she said, pleading, cradling her jabbing hand to her chest with her non-jabbing hand. "Mr. Cullen put me on shift with Jess all week! I have to train Mr. Masen and she's just going to make it harder for me!" She glanced over at Edward, before turning her puppy-dog eyes back onto Ben, her cheeks slightly pink.
Ben began to laugh. "Don't… don't say… don't say that in front of Jess," he said, in between bursts of laughter.
"Oh, you think this is funny?" she asked. "You think she won't stand up there and joke about exactly how hard she can make it and her position in the company?!" She was pouting. She was hilarious and adorable, with her lower lip jutting out and her brow creased. Edward wanted to bite that pouting lower lip. Get a hold of yourself. No. Not- not like that. Definitely not like that, here, at your job, where you're working, and getting paid, and not to do that.
Ben was still laughing as the elevator doors opened and all three of them stepped inside the shiny chrome box. "No, I know she will. Which is why I'm laughing." He shot Bella a wide grin, and Bella huffed.
"Isn't that… Isn't that harassment or something?" Edward asked, feeling sheepish and a little afraid. It sounded like they expected Jessica to hit on him, which he very much wanted to avoid. He didn't want any of his coworkers to hit on him, with one very notable exception, and his exception had told him that they were just friends for now, so there was no chance of that happening anyway.
"No!" Bella said, almost too quickly, as though she were desperate to cover for this Jess person. "No, no, no!" She wrung her hands, shifting from one foot to the other. "Jess is just… like that. She makes jokes, but that's all they are: jokes." She heaved a sigh. "She would never actually mean them. In fact, one of the guys took her jokes too seriously and she had to explain to him that her entire humor base is built on phalluses. While Emmett supervised. She doesn't ever joke with the people who are uncomfortable with it."
"Why would she joke with me, then?" Edward was extremely confused now. He felt his forehead crinkle in concern. This girl didn't know him from Adam, why would she assume he was alright with phallic jokes?
"To test the waters." Bella hung her head and stared at her shoes, heaving a large sigh. "Angie, however, would never. She would make this so easy for-"
"No." Ben didn't even look at her, just watched as the elevator opened and began to step out.
"Damnit!" Bella shouted, stomping off the elevator. Edward followed, smiling. She really was cute when she was angry. Like a fiery little kitten. "Benji…" she whined, her voice going nasal and high pitched. It was somehow still musical, which made Edward slightly annoyed. Why was he entirely incapable of controlling his body's reactions to this woman? Why did his body react so intensely in the first place? Her voice alone made his heart race and sounded like the best composition he'd yet to write. It was ridiculous, and frankly, embarrassing. He wasn't Ryan Gosling, for God's sake, he didn't need his life turning into a romantic comedy. It seemed like it may be quite too late for that, however.
"Bella, deal with Jess. You know you're the only one who can," Ben said, quirking a brow and stepping into the customer service room. He grabbed one of the rolling ladders and placed the cuckoo clock on a high shelf while Bella stood on the ground, looking like she wanted to do nothing more than kick the ladder. Edward was suddenly aware, watching their interaction, of how close Bella was with this "Benji" guy. He was a little jealous, he could admit, of their playful comradery. He hoped that now that they were friends, they could reach that level of comfort with each other. He also hoped that when Bella realized that he wasn't the guy for her, that he wasn't good enough, wasn't interesting or funny or whatever else she needed and deserved, that they could maintain that comfort.
"I am only one person! ARGH!" she shouted, throwing her hands in the air and turning to Edward. He was smiling at her, very amused by her outburst. "Stop smiling, Chuckles, this is going to be hell," she said.
They suddenly heard a shout from the counter.
"Bella! What the fuck are you screaming for?!"
Bella smirked at Edward, who was gaping, openmouthed, toward the sound. Who screams that in the middle of a store?! Granted, they weren't open yet, but there were still people milling around.
"And now you stop smiling," Bella said, sounding satisfied. "Good." Then she screamed right back toward the counter. "Watch your fuckin' language, Jess! We've got a guest!" Edward turned his horrified wide-eyed stare at Bella, who just winked. They suddenly heard the tapping of hard shoes on the marble floor.
A woman appeared at the entry to the back room. She had curly brown hair cut in shoulder-length layers. She was wearing the CFG employee blazer, just like everyone else he'd seen, but underneath she wore a low cut black dress and sky-high heels. Her makeup was perfect, not a line or lash out of place, and her name plaque read Jessica. Edward was instantly terrified of this woman. If she was on shift with he and Bella, as she and Emmett had mentioned, she would be standing in those shoes for eight hours, and she seemed totally unfazed by that fact. She was attractive, Edward supposed, but in an Alabama beauty pageant sort of way. She kind of reminded him of Victoria, actually. Something in her appraising eyes, the set of her mouth. It made him a little uncomfortable.
"Yeah, we do," she said, giving Edward a once over. She turned to Bella. "I had a guest last night, too, but he didn't seem to mind my language."
Bella groaned and slapped a hand to her forehead. "Jesus H. Christ, Jess!"
"Language, Bella," she said with a predatory smile. "Gonna introduce me, or what?" Edward noticed that Jessica's voice was deeper than Bella's, only slightly, an alto or mezzo as opposed to Bella's soprano. They'd probably sound good singing together. Although he probably shouldn't be pondering that, he should be hiding from this intimidating woman.
Bella dragged her hand across her face. When she pulled it away he saw that her cheeks were tinged pink. "You already know Ben, Jess." Bella's lips twitched, as though she wanted to laugh, but her expression was still one of horrified resignation.
"Bella, what the fuck? Just introduce me," Jessica said, crossing her arms across her chest, causing her cleavage to very nearly fall out of her dress. Edward very carefully studied the detailing in his shirt cuff. It was a lovely paisley print. "It's rude if I gotta do it myself."
"Oh yes, that would be rude," Bella said under her breath, shaking her head. Ben laughed behind them.
"Bye, Bells!" he shouted as he left. "Nice to meet you, Mr. Masen!"
Bella muttered something that sounded like "Druid men," but was probably "Stupid Ben," and then gestured toward Edward. "Jess, this is Edward Masen, our new customer service manager," she said. "Masen, as in Edward and Elizabeth Masen, Mrs. Cullen's brother-in-law and sister." She gave Jessica a wide-eyed warning glare, as though reminding her that Mrs. Cullen's husband signed all of their paychecks. Jessica's eyes widened in response, and a smile formed on her lips.
"You sure look like you're related to Mrs. C," she said, smiling a wide, lascivious smile. "Goddamn, that's a hell of a gene pool."
Holy hell, Bella hadn't been kidding about Jessica's jokes. He felt the tips of his ears grow warm, but he was determined to give as good as he got. He didn't want to make a bad impression by being too harsh, but he knew he had to maintain some level of professionalism. So he did what anyone would do in that situation: he threw his cousin under a bus.
"Yeah, well, Emmett's adopted." He stuck his hand out for her to shake as she let out a laugh.
She snorted when she laughed, and didn't attempt to hide it. It made Edward feel a little more comfortable with her, like she was more human than plastic. He noticed that she had freckles, and that her eyes creased when she snorted. The more human she was, the better he felt. This woman couldn't be anything like Victoria; Victoria didn't laugh. He was optimistic that if this was the only employee Bella had been worried about, and she was just a normal girl who dressed scary and wore makeup, that the rest of his team would be regular people who were easy to work with. He was glad; he needed to get along with these people, and just getting along with Bella and his family would only end poorly.
"You're alright, Mr. Masen," Jessica said, shaking his hand. He couldn't help but compare it to his handshake with Bella. While this one held no sparks, no immediate overwhelming need, she did have a firm handshake. A good handshake.
"Nice to meet you Jessica. Please, I'd like my team to call me Edward." Jessica smiled, and shot Bella a look over his shoulder, her eyebrow raised almost comically high.
"Alright, Edward." She let him go and strode over to Bella. "Let me know if you need anything, Bells," she said, her tone thick with meaning. "I wanna talk to you later, okay?" Her back was to Edward, but he saw Bella go beet red, and attempt to look at anything but him. It would be hilarious if he wasn't so worried she was going to give them away. He didn't want to get punched by Emmett. He wasn't sure he'd live through it.
"We'll see, Jess. I'm heading home at lunch so maybe call me? We'll see what Ali wants to do tonight." Bella seemed resigned, her shoulders slumped. She looked incredibly unsurprised by this turn of events, like she'd expected Jess's curiosity. Maybe she had. She did say this shift was going to be hell.
"I'm holding you to it," Jess said, before turning and breezing past Edward back out to the counter, giving him a clap on the shoulder as she passed, heels tapping out a bouncy rhythm.
Bella sighed and her entire body slumped forward, as though she were relaxing after standing still all day. "Well," she said, "that went about a horribly as I was imagining."
"You and Alice going to hit the town tonight?" Edward asked, smiling down at Bella, who was still frowning at the space Jessica had just vacated.
She looked up at him, her expression momentarily dazed. She folded her arms across her chest and shook her head. "Nah. If Jess wants to talk… We'll order pizza and watch chick flicks. And I," she said, pausing and closing her eyes, "I will attempt to convince Jess that nothing's going on while Alice tries in vain to not destroy the kitchen making popcorn." She ran a hand through her hair, clutching tightly at the roots before following through to the ends.
"Wait, do you…" Edward had his suspicions, but it seemed they were being confirmed. "Do you live with Alice?"
Bella nodded slowly, then her face scrunched in confusion. "Why?"
Edward started laughing, which seemed to provoke the angry kitten, who proceeded to slap his arm. "What's so funny?! Alice is my best friend. It's not so weird that we'd cohabitate."
"No, it isn't," he agreed, trying to reign in his laughter, shaking his head in disbelief.
She scowled at him, her eyes narrowed. "Then stop laughing, and tell me what's going on!" She tapped her foot impatiently, and it almost set him off again. It was the cutest thing he'd ever seen.
He took a deep breath, but he was sure that he looked like a lunatic. He had a huge grin on his face, and his eyes were probably more than a little wild. He'd suspected, hoped maybe, but to have it confirmed… Well, he wasn't sure whether to be pleased or to have a breakdown right there in the service room, surrounded by antiques and designer clothes. Bella was probably going to choke again. He should prepare. What was the Heimlich again? He wasn't quite sure whether putting his arms around her would be helpful or not. Well, what were some neighborly anti-choking procedures between friends, anyway? They were friends now, after all.
"When I was apartment hunting," he said, after stifling his chuckles, "I used Alice as a reference. At her apartment building." He waited for the lightbulb to go off.
It did, almost immediately.
Bella gasped. "You don't mean-"
"Yep." He smiled wide at her, his grin devious. "Howdy, neighbor."
Bella laughed then, her giggles filling the cavernous room, their tone and pitch creating a melody Edward could listen to on repeat. "God…" giggle, "God himself…" snort, "is laughing…" full-blown laughter, "at me." She clutched her sides, and took several deep breaths, trying to reign herself in, it seemed. When she was down to a giggle every few seconds, she continued. "That is the only possible explanation for you being not only my new boss, but also my neighbor. He practically went, 'Hmmm, how else can I make her feel absolutely helpless?' and then he decided to put you in close proximity in every aspect of my life." She bent double, overcome with her giggle fit, before choking out, "And he made you say 'Howdy' like Walker Texas freaking Ranger!"
Edward supposed he shouldn't be hurt by her comments. She thought he was a punishment from God to make her feel helpless, and to be frank, she was probably right. He wasn't good enough for her, still the universe was shoving them together at every possible opportunity. He was a little hurt, though. He couldn't help it, though he reasoned to himself that she was right. "Sorry to be such a burden," Edward said, frowning.
"You're not a burden," she said, her laughter ceasing with one abrupt hiccup. She looked at him, staring directly into his eyes, and she looked… She looked hungry. "The temptation is a burden. Breaking rules was never something I was interested in. Today I feel like arson, larceny, vandalism, and destruction of employee contracts would still leave me unsatisfied." Edward felt like he couldn't breathe when she talked about ripping up contracts and her level of satisfaction. He suddenly felt very warm, and he knew exactly what he could do to satisfy them both. He stopped himself from reaching out to tuck her hair behind her ear, and Bella cleared her throat. "C'mon," she said, visibly shaking herself out of it and breaking their eye contact. "Let's learn the computer system, shall we?"
*
Bella had been teaching Edward the computer system and policy while occasionally helping a customer when Jess was busy, moving carefully around the counter, deftly retrieving merchandise and taking billing information without forgetting what she'd been showing Edward. It was nice, watching her work. She fit in like a round peg in a round hole. She was seamless. Almost every customer that came to the counter knew her by name, but what was impressive was that she also knew theirs. She was sweet with them, and joked and made pleasant conversation. She always introduced Edward.
He'd learned a few new distracting things about Bella during the last two hours. Her father was the police chief in a small town called Forks. She seemed unamused when he'd asked if the town of Knives was nearby. Her mother lived in Florida with her husband. She was a kindergarten teacher, he was a baseball coach for the local high school. Bella was an only child, and she had moved between houses until she was fifteen, when she went to stay with her father, Charlie, permanently. While she'd quizzed him on buttons, return procedures, and manuscript retrieval, he'd quizzed her on her life, question for question. Bella had glanced over at Jess every few minutes to make sure she wasn't listening. "It's not that she doesn't already know all of this, I just don't want you to get in trouble for personal talk on your first day," she'd said, her voice only halfway sarcastic, her eyebrow raised. So he'd switched from questioning to observation.
She leaned anywhere there was space to lean. Edward was convinced that this was because she could fall down standing up. He'd seen her trip on a power cord, a lumbar support mat, the ladder rungs, and her own two feet. And so she leaned. She leaned on the counter, head propped up on her hands, she leaned on the computer screen, her body creating an angle, one foot behind the other with her forearms crossed on top of the screen, she leaned against the wall next to the pathway to the back room, watching him as he learned which buttons did what and where the office supplies were, legs crossed at the ankles and hands behind her back. She even leaned onto one foot, hip cocked out and one hand resting on the countertop, the other planted on her hip as she watched him press buttons. She was a serial leaner.
He learned that she sang along to whatever music was playing in the store. Softly, so softly that most people wouldn't hear, she hummed the melodies, occasionally adding in the words. She tapped her fingers to the beat on some songs. He assumed they were the songs she liked, if her soft smile was anything to go by. Her foot tapped in time and she added harmonies to the tunes, her light soprano weaving into the soft music over the speakers. If a country tune started playing, he heard her humming an entirely different song, from an entirely different genre, as if to drown out the offending twanginess. Everything about her was soft when she sang, her features relaxed and her lips tipped upward, she was all rounded edges and muted angles, a legato movement against the staccato backdrop of fingers tapping at the computers.
She played with her hair, almost constantly. She moved it from one side to the other, she ran a hand through it, she pulled it up into a twist and secured it with a pen before she climbed the ladders to retrieve merchandise, she twirled a strand between her fingers, she tucked it behind her ears. It was incredibly distracting, and he was constantly fighting the urge to replace her hands with his own.
Bella's face was the most expressive face he'd ever seen. Every thought that she had flickered over her face as loudly as if she's said them aloud. If she couldn't remember a price for something, he could tell whether or not she was going to check on the computer or ask Jess before she ever opened her mouth. She'd glance between the two, chewing her lips, brow furrowed, and when she'd decided, she'd either roll her eyes (ask Jess) or scrunch her nose (check the inventory on the computer). When she almost tripped – incredibly often – or almost dropped something – less often, and so far nothing had hit the floor – her face practically screamed "Yikes" with her eyes hugely wide, her eyebrows struggling to meet her hairline, her mouth set in a thin line.
And when she looked at him… It was the only time he was unsure what she was thinking. She looked proud when he proved to be a quick study, she looked annoyed when he teased her (mostly for tripping or almost tripping), she looked happy when they spoke of her family or his family, who she truly did love, and sometimes she looked almost confused, almost sad, almost longing. Almost like she wanted him, just as much as he wanted her. It made him feel the longing, too. Shouldn't he have more self-control than this? He'd met her yesterday, for God's sake, she shouldn't have this tight of a hold of him. Yet there he stood, wishing he could, what? Touch her hair? He needed to get a grip.
Shortly before eleven, while Bella was showing Edward how to look up the manuscripts in the stacks on the computer, they were interrupted by a voice from across the counter.
"Bella, my dear sweet girl, you introduce me to this young man this instant!" Bella looked up then, a huge smile already fixed on her face, her eyes patient and filled with affection. Edward stared, perplexed, at the woman standing at the counter. She was in her early sixties, with blonde hair streaked through with grey. She wore a smart pantsuit, and had spoken with a barely-there southern twang. She gave Edward a cursory glance, then fixed Bella with a benevolent stare.
"Mrs. Whitlock!" Bella said, bustling around the counter to give the woman a hug. "I wasn't expecting you today! You have to call me, remember?" Bella's tone was reprimanding, but light, and she waved an accusatory finger at the woman.
"But if I give you notice, how am I to know if that fool child of mine is doing his job right?" She kissed Bella on both cheeks, and leaned away from her, one eyebrow raised. Bella just giggled. "And exactly how many times must I beseech you to call me 'Dottie'! You're making me feel positively ancient with all of this 'Mrs. Whitlock' nonsense." She pulled her face into an exaggerated frown, giving Bella the evil eye.
"That 'fool child' of yours is late on my shipment. I've got deliveries, and I can't keep waiting on him to finish his sweet tea, or whatever it is he's doing." Bella rounded back to the other side of the counter as she spoke, then leaned forward on her forearms, cocked her head to the side, and fixed Mrs. Whitlock with a look that said, "but you already knew this". She drummed her fingers on the countertop, smiling softly at Dottie. "And, I'll call you Mrs. Whitlock until either I don't work here or you stop shopping here, whichever comes first."
"I knew it!" Mrs. Whitlock said, letting out a huff. "How did I ever convince y'all to hire him?"
Bella grinned. "Because despite his perpetual tardiness, he's the best we've had." She propped one foot behind the other, allowing her to lean closer to Mrs. Whitlock, and allowing Edward a spectacular view of her behind that he was trying and failing to ignore. "And you know it." Looking, not looking, glancing, staring at the floor, his shoes, his watch, her backside… Stop!
Mrs. Whitlock returned Bella's smile, nodding her head once before rolling her eyes. She stood straight, and leveled Bella with a patient stare. She stood silently, expectantly, for Bella, who looked as though she had no idea what Mrs. Whitlock wanted from her. "Well?" she said, exasperated. "Are you going to stand there all day, or are you going to explain to me why you have a gentleman stalker?"
"Right!" Bella said, seeming to remember that Edward was there for the first time since this conversation had begun. Edward, for his part, tried not to be too offended by her stalker comment. He'd done no such thing. It was just a coincidence that they were at the same bar. That they worked at the same place…. That they lived in the same apartment building. But those were all coincidence. He hadn't devised it, dammit! "Mrs. Dorothea Whitlock, this is Mr. Edward Masen, our new customer service manager." She gestured first to the blonde woman, then to Edward. "Mrs. Whitlock has been a loyal customer since the Cullens moved here nine years ago. We hired her son, Jasper, to run our warehouse last May. He's in charge of the shipments." Edward nodded, wondering if Jasper also had a southern accent. How odd in the Pacific Northwest. "Mrs. Whitlock, Mr. Masen is Esme and Carlisle's nephew from Chicago. He just moved here." Bella smiled up at him, and Edward returned it, a reflex as natural as breathing.
He turned his smile onto Mrs. Whitlock, then. "It's nice to meet you Mrs. Whitlock," he said, reaching his hand out for her to shake. She placed her hand in his, palm down, so he was grasping her fingers like she was a debutante. She stared at him appraisingly, her eyes flickering back and forth between him and Bella. She smiled, a wicked glint in her eyes.
"The pleasure is mine, Mr. Masen." She turned to Bella, clutching her hand to her heart and heaving an exaggerated sigh. "Finally," she said, channeling her inner Sarah Burnhart, Edward thought, "some eye candy that can't hide out in the offices all day." She used her other hand to fan herself, and Edward felt his neck and ears start to burn. "I have been so tired of having you drag Emmett and Carlisle out here for me." Good Lord, was he not safe anywhere? "Although, you should still call them dear, I want to apologize on behalf of my punctuality-challenged son." Since when did people find him attractive? First Bella, then Jessica, now this woman. All in the span of two days. In the span of the last nine years he could count the women who'd found him attractive on one hand with fingers to spare, and now suddenly he can't step outside? It made no sense. Maybe the lighting was weird here in Seattle. Maybe the weather agreed with him?
Maybe… he'd been wrong? She'd been wrong?
No, that couldn't be it.
Jessica had appeared from retrieving an item from the back room just in time to hear Mrs. Whitlock's last statement. "Oh sure, if I say it, it's 'inappropriate' and 'harassment', but she says it and it's 'charming' and 'funny'." She took the billing information from the customer in front of her, who appeared to be trying and failing to stifle his laughter. When she was finished, she turned back to them, striding over to hug Mrs. Whitlock over the counter. "It's that damn accent of yours. Maybe I should try it."
"Bless your heart, Jessica," Mrs. Whitlock said, smiling softly.
Jessica glared at her. "I know that's just South speak for 'shut up, you dumb bitch'," she said, pointing her index and middle fingers first at her eyes and then back at the woman, in the "I've got my eye on you," gesture.
"Jess!" Bella said, holding her head in her hands as Mrs. Whitlock burst into hysterics. "Language, dude." Just then the phone started to ring, and, in what Edward guessed was a desperate attempt to escape, Bella hurried to answer it. Jessica continued her conversation with Mrs. Whitlock, and Edward nodded every so often, only half listening, more interested in Bella's phone conversation.
"J," she said, her tone low, "if this isn't you calling me to tell me that shipment is out for delivery I'm going to personally drive to the warehouse and castrate you." She paused as she waited for the response. "Jazz, listen, I need that order! It has like, seven items for our investors, three for Esme, and twelve! Yes! Twelve! For your mother! Who is here, by the way, in the store, to torture me." She sighed heavily then, and leaned her head against the wall. Somehow she had managed to get the phone cord wrapped around her waist. This was definitely going to end in disaster. Edward started to edge his way over to her with a polite, "pardon me" gesture to the ladies chatting in front of him. Jess just glanced back at Bella and rolled her eyes, while Mrs. Whitlock smiled and waved her hand as if sweeping him away.
"Jasper!" Bella crowed, "Thank you! Thank you thank you thank you! Ugh, in the words of the immortal reigning Lorelai, 'I'm lovin' you like a two dollar hooker'… Yeah, yeah, shut it. Bye! See that shipment in fifteen Jas, do you hear me?! Fifteen!"
She went to hang up the phone but Edward got there first, carefully removing it from her grip and swinging it around her body to unravel the cord. He handed it back to her and she hung up, smiling sheepishly. "So," he said, grinning down at her, "a 'two dollar hooker' huh?"
"Shut up."
Edward laughed and after a beat Bella joined in. The sound of their laughter combined made Edward's stomach do a somersault.
"Would you look at them, all friendly-like," Mrs. Whitlock said, her voice breaking through the sound of their giggles, her tone wistful.
"I've been looking for two hours Dottie," Jess responded, rolling her eyes once again. "My eyes hurt from how shiny they are."
"I'm allowed to like the boss! I like the Cullens too, remember?" Bella said, folding her arms across her chest. It lifted her breasts, and quite frankly, Edward didn't need the stimulation, so he instead studied the closest touch screen to him, intent on mashing buttons. "And I like Carmen, and Eleazar," she added, sounding confident in herself, though Edward knew she was probably worried that they somehow knew. Hell, for all Edward knew, maybe they did. The bar was pretty dark.
"Oooookay, Bells," Jess said, rolling her eyes and then shooting Dorothea a significant look.
"Whatever," Bella said, striding over to her screen (their screen, he guessed) and turning to stare down the two gossiping women. She struck a dramatic pose, crossing her legs and leaning her head onto her open palm, elbow resting on the counter, propping her other hand on her hip. She looked incredibly indecent and a strip of bare skin appeared at her waist above her jeans from her crazily akimbo arms. He was mesmerized by that strip of pale skin. "You're both just jealous 'cause he's my shadow this week, which means I'm paying less attention to you two." She raised an eyebrow and shot a malicious grin at the two women.
Dorothea burst into laughter. Jessica started sputtering and choking on air, unable to get enough oxygen into her respiratory system to laugh. "Bella, darlin', please don't ever do that again," Dorothea choked out. "Your feminine wiles are too much for me."
Edward didn't see what was so funny. He found her wiles incapacitating. He just stood there, stock still, eyes trailing Bella as she stood straight and wagged her brows at Jessica, causing the curly-haired woman to nearly topple over in hysterics. Bella didn't seem at all deterred by the women's critical laughter or Dorothea's comments. She sashayed over to Jessica, putting an extra sway in her hips and tossing her hair, before helping Jess up. Edward knew she was joking, but Jesus, she didn't need to joke so well.
"Bella, I'm in love with you," Jessica said, still clutching Bella's arm for support. Bella beamed down at her and then puckered her lips out in a kiss-me face. "Marry me," Jessica managed to say, her laughter reignited by Bella's clear acceptance of her affections.
"Okay, but I want the prettiest dress." Bella winked and let Jess go to head back over to her screen.
"Oooh, you found my one deal breaker." Jessica was still laughing, undercutting the sentiment.
Bella stuck her tongue out at Jessica. "Oh no, I am so sad. So very sad," she said, voice devoid of emotion. She turned and shot Dottie a wicked glare. "As for you," she said, inspecting her nails, keeping her expression bored, "you better be nice to me or I'm not going to call Carlisle or Emmett to come down here and say hi to you."
Dorothea attempted to stifle her laughter, holding up three fingers in the Girl Scout Salute. "Scout's honor," she said, with the over-wide smile of recent laughter, "I'll be good."
Bella narrowed her eyes at her for a brief moment, and Dottie schooled her features into a serious expression, her fingers remaining high in the salute. Bella's face broke into a smile then, radiating more light than the chandelier. "Okay, then," she said, taking skipping steps back over to the phone, before snatching up the receiver and dialing an extension. She listened for a moment, before speaking in an exaggerated Southern twang. "Hey there, Gronk, giddy-up on out here, you've got yerself some company." Dottie threw a mint from her purse at Bella's head, missed, and it landed near Bella's hand on the counter. Bella laughed as she unwrapped it and popped in into her mouth. "Yeah pardner," she said. She turned back to them, Dottie glaring, Jess cautiously amused, apparently trying not to get on Dottie's bad side. Edward was outright chuckling. She was too good at that voice. "Emmett's gonna grab his dad and head over," she said, smiling sweetly at Mrs. Whitlock as Edward struggled to breathe.
Mrs. Whitlock apparently got tired of getting no remorse out of Bella with her glare, so she turned it on Edward. "It's impolite to laugh at people, young man," she said, narrowed eyes sparking with amusement despite the hard set of her jaw.
Edward straightened up and tried to keep his giggles to himself. "You're right, Miss," he said, keeping his tone remorseful. "But that was such a pale, terrible imitation of your accent that I couldn't help myself." He was lying, of course. Bella's accent was excellent, albeit much more pronounced than Mrs. Whitlock's.
Mrs. Whitlock laughed then, shaking her head at Edward. "Oooh, you are trouble, you are," she said, pointing an accusing finger his direction. "You're a downright charmer!"
Edward just stared back, face full of innocence, eyes wide and dismayed as he pointed one long finger at himself. "Me?" he asked, scoffing once for good measure. "No ma'am. Just respectful of ladies, like yourselves." Jessica snorted out a laugh then, and Bella joined in.
"Trouble," Mrs. Whitlock reiterated, and then laughed along with the ladies.
They were interrupted by Emmett and Carlisle arriving at the counter.
"What the hell, Edelman?" Emmett asked. Edward thought at first that Emmett meant him, that this was just another idiotic nickname based off of his actual name, but Emmett's eyes were fixed onto Bella, who was still leaning with one hand on Jessica's arm and the other on the counter, laughing.
She straightened up and took a deep breath to steady herself, swiping her fingers under her eyes to catch any leaking moisture. "Hey, Gronk," she said, smiling wide. "Edward here was just entertaining us with his abundant respect for women." Emmett raised an eyebrow and Edward shrugged. He couldn't explain their laughter even if he tried. "And no, before you ask, that isn't a euphemism," she said, holding her hand out as if she could physically stop Emmett's comments from escaping his mouth. Her assertion renewed the ladies' giggles, and Jessica let out another snort.
"And that means… ?" Carlisle asked, raising his own brow and staring curiously at his nephew.
Edward just smiled. Moving had been the right decision.
*
A/N: Before you ask, it is late August in the story. Meaning Jasper's been there for like, three months and still hasn't met Alice. So, look forward to that one. Let me know your thoughts, guys? Who wants to know what Jess and Dottie think? Who wants more Emmett, Rosie, and some Esme and Carlisle? Yeah, me too. Sending love! 3