A/N: I refuse to feel guilty. I refuse to feel guilty. I refuse to feel guilty.

….Yeah, that's not really working for me. Here it comes.

I'm so sorry, guys! You are amazing, you really are. I have an average of 14 reviews a chapter. That is just astounding. Even today, a month after I last posted, I was getting alerts for this story. You all have floored me with your response to this- I never imagined it could be so popular- and it's taken me so long to update! =( I did warn you, though.

I'm also sorry I haven't been replying to reviews. I love them, and I love getting feedback, but because I'm so busy I usually devote the little writing-fanfic time I have to writing the story rather than replying to reviews, because I know, if I were reading a story, that's what I'd want the author to do. If you guys feel differently, though, feel free to let me know! =)

In case you don't know-

Cenred- Tom Ellis

And for the record, the character Dean is an OC. =)

And I got some great guesses for president last chapter- so good, in fact, that I actually changed my mind about it. xD He does not, however, make an appearance this chapter as I thought he would.

Warnings: Mentions of self-harm and allusions to some other things of that nature.

Chapter 4

"You're wrong about my brother. And I think it's awfully suspicious that you can't bring Angel in here to tell me herself."

Anthony sighed, exchanging glances with Katie. Even after being given proof- Angel Coulby's testimony and the evidence they had found at one of Pendragon's first hit sites- Colin Morgan had refused to believe them. They had been talking to him for half an hour in one of the holding cells at the FBI and had not been able to get past this point. Unfortunately, Angel Coulby was already en route to a prison in D.C. so that the higher-ups in the DOD and Department of Justice could question her, and so was unavailable to prove the truth to the young college student.

"Alright, Colin," said Katie placatingly, leaning forward on the table. She and Anthony were sitting across from the boy. "Alright. Let's say you're right. Let's say Bradley's not Pendragon. Let's say we lied about Ms. Coulby. Even so, we would like to bring him in, just to ask him a few questions, such as why Pendragon would claim to be him. Can you just help us with that?"

The young man fixed her with a hard glare. "Why should I trust you?"

Katie blinked, clearly taken aback. Anthony, too, found himself shocked at the boy's conduct.

"Colin, we are the United States government. There's no one you can trust more than us."

Something close to a sneer flashed over the boy's face, but was gone too quickly for Anthony to identify it.

"Colin, please," he said quietly. "Don't make this about yourself, or your brother. Don't even try to be patriotic and make it about your country. Think about your friends, about their families, about the children you see playing in the park as you walk by. Make it about them. Tell us for their sakes. Please."

There was a long, jagged silence in which Colin stared at his hands. Finally, he raised his head and said quietly, "What do you want to know?"

Anthony leaned back in his chair, fighting a grin of relief. He heard a soft release of pent-up breath from Katie, too quiet for Colin to hear. The young woman glanced his way, clearly indicating it was his turn to speak.

"Let's start with the basics," he said. "How come we couldn't find any information on Bradley James?"

"He changed his name a few years ago. Used to be Bradley James Morgan. Don't know why you can't find anything on it."

"Alright. Where does he live?"

Colin shrugged. "I don't know. He moved a few months ago and I haven't been to his new place."

"That's fine," said Anthony, feeling a thrill of excitement. Finally, finally, they had found someone who could give them information on the terrorist.

"What was his old address?" Katie broke in.

Colin rattled off an address, and she typed in into her phone, presumably texting it to Eoin Macken so he could check for clues at the apartment.

"Do you have his number?"

Colin nodded hesitantly. "Yeah, it's on my contact list, but the girl who was in the van took my phone."

"Donelly. Laura Donelly," said the DOD agent absently. He hesitated, weighing his options. Should he ask Colin to call Bradley now, or should he see what else the boy knew? Out of the corner of his eyes he saw McGrath giving him a slight shake of the head. Alright, then.

"Can you think of anything else you can tell us that might be helpful? Anywhere he'll be, any strange things that have happened?"

The boy paused, thinking. "Can't think of anything. Sorry." He did not sound especially regretful.

"How about this?" challenged Katie eagerly, leaning forward. "You know your brother, Colin. Tell me- is there any chance he might be the terrorist? Any reason that he would want to attack the United States government?"

The dark haired young man fell silent, a shadow passing across his face.

So there is something, Anthony realized with another rush of elation. And this boy knows it.

"Eoin said something about your father," Katie stated carefully, as though she were walking across broken glass. "Do you think…" She paused. "Is it possible that what happened… that this is about him?"

Colin blinked, then suddenly an expression of realization and shock spread across his face. "No," he breathed. "No, it's not."

"Well… what is it about?" Katie's tone was soft, only urging very gently and cautiously. Clearly she was afraid of scaring him off.

"It's about…" The boy's voice grew hoarse and trailed off, and he looked down at his hands. After a long moment of silence, he raised his head and whispered, "It's about me."

-Merlin-

It was in times like this that Bradley's guilt forced memories upon him. It was in times like this, times when he had let his younger brother down, that all his past failures came back to haunt him, the burden he always carried made so much heavier.

His mind flashed back to that day when he had almost lost his brother.

It had been a few years before, when Colin was in high school and living with his brother.

Bradley had been sitting on the couch, texting Tom about recruits for their group. Colin's door was closed, and the terrorist had believed his brother asleep.

Which was why he had jumped when the door had suddenly opened and Colin had poked his head out, murmuring timidly, "Bradley?"

"What is it, Colin?" The young man looked away from his phone and felt a trickle of unease at his brother's appearance. The boy was pale and seemed to be trembling slightly, and Bradley thought he caught a gleam of wetness in the teenager's eyes.

"I, ah… I think I need to go to the hospital." His gaze shifted to his feet.

"The hospital?!" exclaimed Bradley, shooting to his feet. "What's happened? What's wrong?"

The boy swallowed nervously. "I…" Slowly the rest of his body emerged from behind the door, and Bradley gasped.

Colin's right arm was dripping with blood.

Bradley rushed forward, crying out his brother's name. "What happened?!" he yelled, his voice high-pitched with fright. Gripping the boy's shoulders, he led him over to the couch and sat him down, then dialled 9-1-1, not waiting to hear the answer.

"9-1-1. What is the nature of your emergency?" came a voice from the other end of the phone, one obviously intending to be soothing. It was not successful.

"It's my brother, he needs an ambulance!"

"Wait one moment, please."

Bradley gave a hiss of impatience, hurrying over to the refrigerator in the kitchen. Pulling out a carton of orange juice and a cup from the cabinet, he poured his brother a glass of juice and rushed back over to his brother, shoving the beverage into his hands. "Drink it," he muttered, scanning the room for something to put pressure on the wound.

"This is Sarah Donovan at Edward Hospital. What is your location?"

Seizing a dishtowel from the kitchen, Bradley rattled off his address.

"Thank you. An ambulance will arrive shortly." A quiet click signalled the end of the call.

Hurrying over to his brother, the terrorist demanded, "Where's the wound?"

"Wrist."

Bradley quickly found the wound and began to apply pressure to it. To his dismay, the dishtowel was quickly soaked with blood.

"What happened, Colin?" he demanded.

"I'm sorry," gasped the other boy, not quite coherent due to blood loss. "I didn't mean to cut so deep."

"Cut?" repeated Bradley, horror sweeping over him. His little brother had just cut himself. His younger brother was slitting his own wrists, felt so wretched about his life that he felt the need to damage his body. The terrorist felt ill, and his chest constricted.

Colin's eyes gleamed with unshed tears, and he nodded rapidly, his hands trembling slightly.

"But… your psychiatrist said you were doing better," Bradley managed to choke out.

"My psychiatrist," repeated the boy with a bitter grin. "What does she know?"

"The idea," muttered the terrorist somewhat reproachfully, "is to tell her things so she does know."

"But I can't. I can't tell her about Dad. Or… Dean."

Bradley winced at the name. "Why can't you tell her about Dean?"

"I don't mean… I mean, the night he died."

"So? There was an accident. He died. You would think it would be rather easy to talk about, considering your relationship."

Colin shook his head. "No, Bradley. It wasn't an accident."

"What do you mean?" Unconsciously, the young man tightened his grip around his brother's wound, and the boy winced.

"I meant what I said." The tears suddenly spilled over. "I didn't mean to, Bradley, I swear I didn't. I was just so scared, and so angry… I just want to give him a fright, you know? Make him feel what I had felt, maybe make him stop, at least for awhile. And then…" Sobs bordering on hysteria due to blood loss escaped his lips. "It was my fault. He died, and it was my fault. And I never told anyone, I was so scared I'd be arrested, get put in jail…"

"Colin."

"…and then I would be in the hands of the government, just like Dad, and I…"

"Colin!"

The boy jumped slightly, startled out of his rambling, and met his brother's eyes for the first time that night.

"It wasn't your fault," Bradley said gently. "No one would blame you for what you did. You were a child and you were scared. It was self-defense. Dean got what he deserved. You are not a murderer. You did nothing wrong, do you hear me?"

The boy gave a jerky nod, his body shaking, and his gaze fell to his bloody hands.

"Where is the ambulance?" snarled the young man, half to himself. "Colin…I know you can't talk to a psychiatrist about this stuff. But I want you to know… if you need someone to talk to, I'm there. I'll always be there for you."

Colin raised his eyes to meet his brother's again. "Will you?" he whispered.

"Colin-" Bradley choked out, then cried out his brother's name as the boy's eyes rolled up in his head and he crumpled in on himself.

"Where is that ambulance!" he screamed.

"Bradley!"

The terrorist jumped as he was jerked out of the memory by Georgia's voice. "What is it?" he demanded, roughly, quickly swiping away the few tears that had leaked out during the flashback. No, not tears, he told himself. His eyes had been watering. Yes. That was it.

"I've been trying to contact the DOD without success," she panted. "But that's not what I came in here to tell you."

"No?" he spat out impatiently. He knew he was being a jerk, but could not bring himself to care at this moment, with the memory of his brother's near death so fresh in his mind. That night had been a far too close call.

Georgia, accustomed to and unfazed by his rudeness, reported grimly, "I just saw it online. Tom Ellis heard about the terrorist attacks and Colin. He's coming to Chicago."

No. No no no. Please, God, no. Oh, Colin. Bradley gripped the desk for support as cold fear clenched around his heart.

A/N: *cackles evilly* I do love cliffhangers…

I rushed through this chapter a bit, trying to get it out for you guys, so I don't think it's as good as it could be. Let me know what you think, please. Constructive criticism is welcome. =)

Again, please review! They really inspire me and mean the world to me! =)

I'd love to hear any guesses/predictions about where this story is going. Also, any more guesses as to Bradley and Colin's past, or who Tom Ellis is?

FURTHERMORE… xD Is there anything people would like to see? I haven't decided exactly where to go with this story yet, so feel free to let me know! =)