note: This chapter if kind of depressing but i promise it will get better anyway, yay thank you! i was aiming for ten reviews but i got twelve! and i am happy :D i'm updating more than i thought i would but the updates might slow down, because i have this massive chemistry assessment to do along with other homework... so yeah thanks bellanator116 for being my tenth reviewer you're awesome!

we still need a few more reviews to buy those giraffes their very long scarves 0( '-' 0) (0 '-' 0) ( 0 '-') 0

Chaos, that was the only word to describe what happened next, people ran, people screamed, people cried, a fog of dark colours set on the school. Katniss had disappeared into the fog. They had trained for this, once every six months, they had a drill. The children were meant to line up and file out in an orderly manner, so much for that.

Peeta, by some amazing miracle, made it out of the school and towards a roped off area in the mines, no one he knew worked there, but it was worth going to see who came out and to pay his respects to those who didn't. He spotted Katniss on the other side of the roped of part of the mine, clutching a little blond girl who looked like she was her sister, while her mother wrapped her arms around them. The first man came out of the mine, badly beaten up and limping, he heard a family sigh towards his right, before running towards the man and leaving.

The second man came out, his family rushed to greet him, the third came out, the forth, the fifth. The sixth person had lost his hand, and loosing blood quickly, but he was alive, and that was good enough. More people came out and the crowd slowly got thinner, Katniss was still in the exact same position she was in when he first saw her, and the sun had set a long time ago.

Sometime later, Katniss and her family and four other families were still there, and a man roped up the mine, slowly and sadly, he told the few people left, that there were no more.

Then came the crying.

Everyone cried hysterically, beating the ground with their fists, screaming in disbelief, even Peeta shed a few tears. Katniss was in a horrible state, she didn't cry the loudest, or fall on the floor but it was easy to see her grief. A black lining formed on her aura, every one else's aura turned very, very dark. A grey cloud hung on district twelve. Katniss hugged her family tightly, then hugged a random boy and cried into his chest. Peeta heard her say the word "Gale." He looked at Gale, he was tall strong, and already looked like a man, he had a handsome face and he could hunt, he lost his father too, so he knows how Katniss fells, Peeta could never compete with that. No, he shook away the thought; this is no time for jealousy.

Peeta decided to go to Katniss himself, tell her that he was sorry for her loss, he slowly walked towards her, she was sitting on the ground crying, her tears were bright blue.

"Katniss," he said, she looked up at him, with sad,glazed, puppy dog eyes. She jumped up and hugged him, Peeta stumbled back shocked, Katniss hadn't struck him as the hugging type, but he guessed she was felling emotional and wrapped his arms around her.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He whispered to a devastated Katniss

"It's all their fault!" she cried

"Whose?" he asked quietly

"The capitols."

...

A lot of time passed since that day, Peetas twelfth birthday came and went, he matured, and didn't open up to many people anymore. He found a way to put his synaesthesia to use; he painted what his brain made him see, and hung his pictures up next to the numerous art awards he had won.

In the early days, Peeta had to stand by and watch as Katniss wasted her life away, she slowly got thinner, and she rarely went to the dinner hall. The black lining that formed around her aura on the day her father passed stayed there; she had built a shell around herself. One that would be very hard to crack. Peeta still loves her, but not like used to, he longs for the days of his obsessive love for Katniss, although this period of time only lasted around a day, Peeta considers it to be the best day of his life. He can't just talk to her anymore, so he sticks to admiring her from afar. When he sees her, that is. When the children got moved up to district twelve merchant quarter secondary school, she got pulled out, he has only seen her four times science.

Although it has been over a year, with fourteen days till Peetas thirteenth birthday, he still remembers one sentence that she said to him all those weeks ago.

"You have synaesthesia."

That once sentence had haunted his nightmares and plagued his dreams, how did she know? He likes to think it's her bright grey eyes; he likes to think that they can pierce right into his soul, but that's impossible. He learnt many things he used to believe in were impossible.

When Peeta was eleven, he believed in fairy tales, and magic, and potions, he also believed that every cloud had a silver lining. But of course, this too is just a myth, because, this cloud was not moving.

It is worth noting what happened with Peetas family life, as of course, his whole life didn't revolve around Katniss. As he stopped talking to his father about "feelings" and petty stuff like that, he and his father distanced from each other, their conversations were short and formal, his father was always polite, but he missed the days when he teased him. His brothers stopped teasing him and using his nickname "peety" they just walked around like they were living in a hotel, not speaking, only coming downstairs to eat or work. As for his mother, there was no big change there, but a few days after his twelfth birthday he found a book. It was his mother's old diary, he shouldn't have read it, but his curiosity got the better of him and he had seemed to have forgotten the saying "curiosity killed the cat" he found out that his mother hated him, and when he was born she refused to hold him or feed him, his dad had to feed him with watery, cold, powdered milk. He wasn't as disappointed as you would have expected. His mother hated him. What else is new?

The one thing he had learnt in this year and a bit is that he wasn't loved

He wasn't loved.

You see this is what Peeta craved the most, somebody to tell him that he's loved.