Somewhere along the way making bad decisions for myself had become a habit. I lingered behind Stefan far enough away so as he wouldn't notice me. It could have been that I wanted to torture myself to see him fade as the sun's light hit him, but mostly I wanted it all to be a lie.

My mind raced back to all the possibilities that could save Stefan, to lock him up in until we found a remedy for this curse Silas had set on him. But I couldn't, not with the resignation in his eyes, his finality, he would never force me to suffer for a life I didn't want anymore. This wasn't like all the times before when he had turned it off or turned into a guilt ridden ripper. This was surrender, and who was I to make the decision for him. That realization made my stomach sick; I wasn't that person to him any longer.

Stefan stopped at an opening near the boarding house, I immediately did too. I watched him as he sat on the gravel and pulled his knee's up to his chest. I wanted to go to him so badly, but it hurt to even think of him dying in front of me. I was selfish, I had known that since I turned, but this was the first time since then that I wanted to change that. Slowly, I turned my back and walked away. And when the sun rose that morning, I wasn't in Mystic falls anymore. I was well and truly lost.

Stefan

"Stefan, Stefan! What's wrong with him Damon?" I could hear a girls voice coming from behind me, shaking me. My legs felt like jelly and I had this weird feeling in my solar plex, I could feel it pattering and I moved my heavy hand to my chest.

"ahh"

"Oh my god Damon, he's alive!" I couldn't recognise these voices or names and I used all my strength to open my eyes. A beautiful blond girl sat beside me, her hands on either side of my face looking shocked. She was suddenly crying and holding me so tightly I could hardly breathe.

"cant...breathe..." she quickly let go and stood. I could see a tall dark man hovering over me, his eyes were liquid blue, his hair jet black and his skin was pale and flawless. He reached his hand out to me and I took it, still feeling unsteady on my feet. The man quickly grabbed me, and held me to standing. Once I was standing up right, the blonde girl quickly pulled at my wrist and put pressure on the soft skin under my forearm.

Her face dropped and she looked at Damon as though she couldn't believe who or what she was looking at.

"Stefan, how do you feel?" I looked up, seeing a red sky dotting the sky, my head began to spin, the light was bright in my eyes.

"Who's Stefan?" I asked completely confused as to what was going on.

"Ok ,well he's alive but maybe not sane" The dark man quickly replied and suddenly my stomach churned and something was coming up my throat.

"I don't feel.." and next thing I knew, I was hurling up what looked like blood and I winced at the sight of it.

"Oh god, take the baby" the man said and suddenly I was holding on to the blonde woman as she began walking with me.

"Stefan, do you know where you are?" she asked me

"Well..." I paused to really think. I felt nothing come to me at all, I felt the words come to me and I felt strange not having anything to think about before I had woken.

"Im sorry I..I cant think of anything" I turned to look at her and she paused, looking at me fondly and it made me smile at her. This lady seemed nice, my heart warmed instantly to her.

"Ok, well, how do you feel Stefan?" I started to walk with her again, feeling my legs getting more strength as I walked but I still felt dizzy.

"I feel very tired...Caroline?" I asked.

Her face looked puzzled "Yes, Its Caroline...nice to meet you Stefan." And the twinkle was back in her eyes again. She led me into a very large house and up the stairs to a very large room.

"Get some rest Stefan, ill bring you down some clothes for you to sleep in" She stood back and looked at me with a smile on her face. "you look.."

"Much better" I replied, she smiled at me in a way I didn't understand, but I did feel so much better.

~ 2months later ~

Elena

The water rushed to my feet and I curled my toes in to the sand feeling myself sinking. This was nice, the weather was cold but it didn't bother me. The weeks seemed to have just flown past, solidarity was underrated. I walked further down the bay absorbing the salty air. I could hear a guitar playing close by, the strings vibrated against the frets and I could see him in the distance. He serenaded his lover as she rubbed the back of his calf with her toes, he faltered with the rhythm momentarily and then smirked at her, mischief in his eyes.

I looked away, letting a lone dear fall down my cheek, I brushed it away quickly, not knowing once again how I felt about my future, or my decisions. I missed home, Damon, Caroline, Jer, everyone. But I couldn't forget what I had done, what my decision had meant for Stefan and the tragedy that was him and his life. I tried to analyze my feelings towards him, but couldn't spend long enough thinking about it before I felt my heart ache and the lump in my throat swell. I had always loved him ,there wasn't a doubt in my mind about that, but by the end of it all, I knew he would never want me again, never love me in the same way. He had always deserved better.

"Well its never too late to try" I heard a purr from behind me and I jumped wondering how someone had snuck up on me. When I turned, I looked into the face of the one I dreaded to see the most, the monster in my ex lovers body. Instantly I lunged for him hoping to end him now forever.

His hand caught my wrist and I was spun into the air and pinned to the ground, he was so much stronger and more powerful. I looked into his cold eyes and felt a chill travel down my spine as he watched me with amusement in his eyes. I felt like a toy, like a play thing in his sick little game.

"What do you want Silas" he tilted his head before licking his lips, my stomach leaped as he leaned down to smell my hair.

"hmmm oh Elena, can we not pretend like its old times" he pulled back to watch my horrified face.

He grinded his hips into mine and chuckled

"I promise not to disappoint Elena" his eyes narrowed and ground my teeth trying to squirm away.

"you'd have to kill me first Silas" Suddenly, he was standing and pulling me along side him next to the water.

"In time my dear, but first I have plans for you" I turned my head to him, prompting him to finish whatever he had to say to me. He stopped and grabbed both my arms.

"Your brother Jeremy has contact with the dead I understand" I said nothing, but I knew he didn't need me to confirm it, I thought Jer would be safe with Matt in Florida for the year. But obviously I was wrong.

"Get him to bring the witch to me" he said with a cool steel to his tone, as though guarding his temper.

"What do you mean?" I was puzzled that we needed to get Bonnie from the other side of the curtain.

"She's not there Silas" I said with a question in my tone, I hadn't heard from her in so long, I felt my lip quiver.

"Yes she is silly girl, since the curtain was damn closed" he said spitefully.

"Now you best get home and find her for me before I decide to hurt your beloved Jer and his mortal friend Matt." He finally let go of my arms and I stood there motionless. Bonnie has been...dead?

Stefan

Falling on the table, I couldn't breathe, my lungs weren't cooperating and every time I opened my eyes I just laughed even more.

"Im gonna kill that fugly looking kid, Stefan!" I took a deep breath and composed myself.

"Caroline, he's obviously, you know, into you" she turned her head to me, an incredulous look in her eyes. I laughed a little more.

"He wants an excuse to come back to the table" I said before laughing some more, eating my fries.

"Stefan, he's obviously got some sort of learning impediment if he cant remember my order after the third time!"

"uh oh, lover boy is back" I said sheepishly, looking at my food as he approached her again.

"You need anything else miss?" I looked up and saw the cocky question in his eyes. Every time we came to the grill he hit on her and Caroline went absolutely mental. It was great. I laughed but tried to cover it up with a cough.

Caroline turned her head to me.

"No thanks Billy, but Stefan was just saying how great you look in that apron..." The bus boy turned to me and my face went bright red. He gave me an unforgiving stare and I instantly was speechless.

"He's really shy, but once he gets out of his shell, I hear he's an animal in the sack!" I choked on a fry as she continued.

"Interested Billy?" The boy stuttered for a moment before pointing to the kitchen and running away. I threw a chip at her face.

"Caroline"

"Don't dish it if you cant take it!" she drawled before drinking her whisky. I shook my head at her.

"What are you doing tonight Stefan?" she asked me

"I don't know, maybe write a little, I may go to game, I was thinking of trying for the team"

"Sounds good, how's Damon treating you?" she asked carefully

"He keeps to himself, I don't really mind, I like having my own time I reassured her" she smiled at me and a tried to scowl at her, we both laughed.

"Want some company tonight at least?" she asked, she was such a good friend.

"Sure"

Caroline drove us back to the boarding house. As she pulled in , she paused after turning off the car.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I think someone's home" she said.

I followed her into the house and into the living room.

"Hey Damon" I dropped my rucksack on the ground and turned to see Damon standing and a beautiful girl sitting on the couch. I was frozen on the spot, I watched her for a moment, willing myself to think of something to say. But i was struck by her beauty, her hair a beautiful dark shade of chestnut, her eyes looked at me with a softness that made me swallow hard. She stood and I felt infinitesimal next to her, she was stunning.

"Hi" she whispered.

"Hi" I spoke lowly and left my mouth hanging open until I realised the way Damon was looking at me, he seemed...hurt.

"Im Stefan" I held out my hand for her.

I watched as she slowly reached for my hand without losing eye contact with me.

"Im Elena"

A/N- hmm so Stefan is living a relatively normal life now, how much has he discovered about himself over the two months. How will Damon and Elena handle him being back and seemingly oblivious to everything that happened in the past. Reviews are my muse ;)