Oh my god. I'm not even kidding, my computer has been broken since the last chapter. Not even shitting you right now. Everything I've posted since then is from my parents' computer, on which I didn't want to try to write yaoi. And as of May 23rd, I just got it back and it has deleted this chapter, so I have to start over, so this is a massive bitch and I am SO SORRY PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME.

This chapter is dedicated to Oxenstierna D. Yuki-Rin.

Anyway, this chapter is going to be a bit different. It might not be as sexy and yaoi-ish as usual, seeing as Thor has thoroughly pissed off Zagi by (indirectly) mentioning Karim, who is a touchy subject. Please don't leave me D: WOW I'm clingy today.

Warning: We're taking a minor break from the sexy yaoi goodness. Zagi is very annoyed with me, and I may have to lock him in the mind-van.

Disclaimer: Wilder does not own Jyu-Oh-Sei or any related properties. If she did, this nonsense might be an OVA. And that would be scary.

Chapter 4

Thor and Zagi weren't exactly on the friendliest of terms.

Thor berated himself on several counts, almost absurdly humiliated by his own actions. On the first count, he'd had sex with Zagi, and…well, he was being forced to reassess his own sexuality, with which he was neither comfortable nor pleased.

He couldn't deny that Zagi had always been attractive. Charismatic, independent, strong, untamable; he was the epitome of the Chimaeran ideal, both beast and human. But Thor couldn't wrap his mind around what they'd done. How he'd begged for that touch, that body. His face turned red just at the thought.

And then Thor had gone and completely fucked things up by mentioning Karim – the one subject guaranteed to set off Zagi's temper.

Thor had come to the conclusion that he was an idiot.

Zagi knew he was being a bit ridiculous, but at the moment, he didn't care. He hadn't spoken to Thor since…well, since. He couldn't.

He didn't want to compare the two of them the way Thor had forced him to. He didn't want to think about them in the same context, in the same moments.

Karim was the first thing Zagi could remember loving – probably the only thing.

Thor was a game. Or at least, that was what Zagi was determined to keep telling himself, so that it wouldn't hurt when it ended.

Thor was beautiful, innocent, so deliciously corruptible. Zagi relished the thought of changing that, bit by bit until the Jyu-Oh was his entirely.

The way she had been.

Zagi shook his head violently in a vain attempt to clear it, and only succeeded in giving himself a headache. The way she had been! No. He couldn't do that again. He couldn't love again.

This time, Zagi would remain detached, no matter how close he and Thor became physically.

He had to.

A knock sounded, and Zagi knew it had to be Thor, with some excuse or apology that Zagi wouldn't be able to accept.

He opened the door halfway, barely noticing the lessened chill that came with early sunrise.

"What do you want, Thor?" Zagi asked tiredly.

Thor looked at the ground, his face slightly tinged with pink.

"Zagi, I…" He trailed off, and Zagi waited. When over a minute passed, Zagi growled irritably and wrenched open the door.

"Get inside before I freeze."

Thor sighed gratefully and entered the bunker, shrugging out of his heavy coat.

"Zagi, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to – "

"I know," Zagi cut him off. "I know you didn't mean to, but you did. What did you expect? Did you think that bringing up my dead girl right after sex would go over well?"

Thor's gaze dropped to the floor.

"No, Zagi," he whispered. "I wasn't…I wasn't thinking."

"Clearly." Zagi sneered. He knew that he wasn't being completely reasonable. Thor hadn't even really mentioned Karim – Zagi had. But Thor should have known. He should have known who came before him, should have known about Karim and Zagi.

No one in the Blanc Ring had known. They had suspected, of course, and everyone knew that Karim loved Zagi – but they never would have guessed that he loved her back. They never knew about stolen kisses and secret nights. But Thor was smarter than they were, and hadn't Karim told him? Zagi didn't know, but he'd always assumed.

"Do you have anything worthwhile to say, or is it time for you to go?" Zagi asked disdainfully.

"What do you want me to do, Zagi?" Thor almost yelled, throwing up his hands in frustration.

"I want you to get out and let me think," Zagi growled. "I'll find you later. Leave."

Thor looked almost angry, but the hurt showed through. Zagi watched him go, slamming the heavy iron door behind him.

Zagi sat on the bed, forcing himself to think about it despite how much he would have preferred to go back to sleep. The wound in his stomach ached – a dull pounding that refused to let him concentrate until he located the painkiller – and it didn't exactly make him feel any friendlier toward Thor.

He still wanted Thor. That was easy enough to answer. But he had to keep emotion out of the picture, and with Thor, that wasn't going to be easy. Thor was an emotional being, far more so than Zagi had ever been. And there was something about the kid that did something to Zagi, something he didn't want to think about and certainly didn't intend to act upon.

Emotions were weaknesses. Zagi had learned that the hard way – on Iliad, and with Karim.

He would not allow himself to think of this as anything more than it was: a release, a distraction from the pain. And once Zagi had recovered enough, he would leave. It was too dangerous for him to stay with Thor any longer than he had to.

But that could wait. And Thor could wait until tomorrow to hear about it.

Zagi let himself collapse back onto the bed as his eyelids grew heavy from the painkiller. Eventually, he drifted off.

End

I had to choose between writing a short chapter and actually publishing, and trying to write a long chapter and having it take another couple of weeks because my brain hates me. I'm sorry :( The sexiness will return, I promise. And just in case this whole thing gets taken down because of FFN's new policies, it is up on AFF and I might put it on AO3.

Hopefully, Chapter 5 will be up faster than this. I apologize for how long this took and how short it is T.T