Ok guys here's the next chapter

Thanks for all your reviews really love hearing from you

this chapters longer than the last thought I should go deeper last ones were kinda short.

anonymousW, Suits4ever: Rachel will find out in the next chapter and I'm definitely gonna add in some Darvey!

anyway thanks for reading hope you like this :)))

CHAPTER 4

Mike stared hard at his reflection breathing heavily. There was sweat building up along his forehead and his eyes were red. It was 5am and he had been woken by a random burst of coughs. He had quickly rushed to the bathroom not wanting to wake Rachel and opened the tap fully so if she did happen to wake up, she wouldn't hear him coughing. His hands gripped the sink tightly as he begun coughing again. He couldn't stop. His throat was aching and his lungs were beginning to hurt as well. But it was no way near as bad as it was when he was with Harvey and had ended up in the hospital. He thought about going to get his inhaler but that meant having to go past Rachel – and she wasn't a deep sleeper. If she had seen him coughing like this she would drag him to the doctors. And then he'd have to tell her. He knew he needed to, but he just wasn't ready yet. He didn't want her to hear it either. He remembered he had told Harvey last night. He wanted to tell him but he didn't want to at the same time. In the end Harvey had just managed to get it out of him and it was like his dam broke. All his emotions began flooding out, everything he had been holding in for the past 2 weeks. The reality he had been denying for days had finally become true, he finally was forced to face the facts. Harvey had hugged him. And he really needed it. He was gripped onto Harvey for what felt like forever and Harvey had let him cry onto him and he was really grateful for that. He was shocked thinking about it but it was like he had made Harvey let his guard down as well he had even seen Harvey's eyes fill up a little bit. He was sure of it. It felt like a huge weight off his shoulders telling Harvey. He no longer felt alone and Harvey had actually made him feel better. In fact it was the first night where he had gotten proper sleep.

He coughed again this time more violently. He glanced down at the sink in horror. He rubbed his eyes to make sure it was real. There was blood in the sink. It had been diluted by the water coming from the running tap but it was still blood. He had coughed up blood. He coughed again – this time deliberately – and there was some more. He quickly splashed his face with water after getting his coughing and breathing under control and made his way out of the bathroom. He walked towards the living room and grabbed his bag. He rummaged through it locating a leaflet that he had been given at the hospital the other day. He flicked to the page which read 'signs and symptoms' and skimmed down the list until he found 'coughing up blood'. He sighed. He didn't know whether he should be relieved that it was expected, or to be scared that he was actually coughing up blood.

He looked down at his watch. It was 5:27am. He decided to get dressed and head to work early. He thought about having breakfast decided against it. He couldn't remember the last time he had a proper breakfast but he had just lost his appetite recently. The only time he would have a decent meal is at dinner and only so he wouldn't have Rachel worrying about him anymore than she already did. He grabbed his bag and headed for the door. He stepped out and got himself a cab. Usually he would bike it but it was becoming very difficult now and the last time he did tried it he only made it down the road before becoming so out of breath he had to stop and call for a cab.

When he got to the firm, it was quite empty aside from a few people who always came in at this time. He was about an hour into proofing briefs when Harvey walked in.

"Mike"

"Harvey"

Harvey came and sat down on the chair in front of his desk.

"How you doing?" There was a hint of concern in his voice. He had barely slept last night, his mind still trying to process what Mike had told him. As soon as he thought of cancer, he thought of death. And he couldn't lose Mike. He had lost him once when he had gone to work for Jonathon Sidwell but he wasn't letting it happen again. He had also lost Donna and he couldn't have the 2 people he cared about the most leave him.

"Yeah I'm good just proofing these briefs"

"Ok urm after you're done can you come down to my office I need you to go over a few things"

"Sure" Mike smiled at the older lawer before we walked out and made his way to his own office.

Mike was glad Harvey hadn't brought up the cancer. He preferred it this way.

2 hours later, Harvey was sitting at his desk working on a case for a new mutli-million dollar client. He may have been working on the case but his mind was still on Mike. He had looked up lung cancer as soon as he got come that night and immediately regretted it. He couldn't take it. Mike had such a promising career ahead of him - has such a promising career ahead of him, he corrected pushing the thought of losing Mike to the back of his head.

Harvey looked up to see Mike walking into his office.

"Hey what was it you needed me to do?"

Harvey rummaged through the files and passed a couple to Mike.

"I just need you to go through these see if you can find anything else apart from what's already there"

"sure when you do need them by?"

"Just take your time"

Mike nodded and turned to walk out

"And Mike" Harvey called as Mike turned back around "If you need anything just let me know"

Mike nodded with a smile and just as he was about to head for the door again his phone rang.

"Take it" said Harvey sitting back down into his chair.

Mike looked at the unknown number with a frown before answering it.

"Hi is this Michael Ross?"

"Speaking?"

"Hi Michael my name is Dr. Phillips I'm going to be the doctor through your treatment" Mike swallowed hard "Is there any way you could come in within the next half an hour for an appointment?"

"Urm I'm actually at work at the moment could we do this some other time?"

"Michael unfortunately I'm fully booked I was just able to slot you in after this the next appointment would be next week some time and I really don't recommend waiting that long"

"Ok I'll be there in 10 minutes"

"Just ask for Dr Phillips at the reception - oh and Michael I really recommend you bring someone with you"

Mike sighed as he hung up the phone. He looked over at Harvey who was looking over at him with his eyebrows slightly raised.

"Harvey is it ok if I leave for a couple of hours" Harvey gave him a questioning look "It was the hospital I have to go in for an appointment right now"

Harvey shut his laptop down and stood up.

"Well I'm coming with you"

Mike looked at Harvey in shock "Harvey you don't have to-"

"Mike I'm coming with you. End of"

Neither of them had said a word on the way to the hospital. Harvey had called Ray to drop them off. Every now and then Mike would let out a cough and Harvey would quickly shoot him a worried glance.

They stopped outside the hospital and thanked Ray as both men stepped out of the car. They walked up the stairs to the second floor and Harvey had noticed Mike was beginning to get out of breath and they had only walked up one flight of stairs.

"Hey you ok?" Harvey spoke with a hint of concern

"Yeah this urm happens a lot it's apparently normal" Harvey saw the sadness in Mike's eyes as he was coming to terms with his illness.

The two paused as Mike took a few seconds to get his breathing back to normal and then walked to the reception.

"Hi my names Michael Ross I'm here to see Dr. Phillips" A few minutes later they were greeted by a man of around 40 who wore a huge smile that didn't seem as genuine as he may have wanted.

"Mr Ross nice to meet you I'm Dr Phillips"

"Mike" Mike took his extended hand with a smile.

"And this is?" the doctor gestured towards Harvey.

"Specter. Harvey Specter I'm Mike's bo-friend" Harvey corrected himself and received a bewildered look from Mike.

"Very well would the two of you like to follow me through" Both men followed as Mike turned to look at Harvey.

"Friend?" He whispered.

"Yeah I thought it's about time I admit it" Harvey smirked as they both continued walking.

They walked into an office that smelt like a mix of disinfectant and flowers. They sat down at the desk in front of the doctor.

"Ok I'm going to start with going over the basics. I could see Mike that you had become slightly breathless after coming up the stairs. This is a completely normal thing and I'm afraid to say it will just get worse as your cancer progresses. This means that you will have to give up any form of physical exercise - my notes here say that you are a keen cyclist?"

"Yes I usually ride my bike to work"

"And how are you finding that? have you still been riding?"

"Urm no I stopped last week"

"And is that because you were finding it difficult?"

Mike nodded swallowing hard and avoiding Harvey's concerned gaze.

"Well I'm afraid Mike that you will never be able to ride your bike again."

"What do you mean never?! Of course he will once you do your goddamn job and get rid of the cancer!" Harvey interrupted with anger welling up inside him. It was his job to make sure Mike got better again and to give Mike hope not to put him down by telling him we would never be able to live his old life again.

"Harvey-"

"Mr Specter that is not what I meant to say I was talking about during the time of his treatment but of course we will do our best to make Mike better"

"Oh you better"

The doctor ignored Harvey's comment and carried on speaking. He held up an x-ray of Mike's lungs. It all seemed fine apart from the clouds of white in the middle of the left lung spreading to the right.

"These patches of white are actually the cancer and as you can see, it has started in the left lung and has slightly spread onto the right. The tumor is malignant and it's not ideal that it has begun to spread but Mike I understand you have been given pills which are supposed to prevent it from spreading any more. Have you been taking them?"

"Yeah I urm have" Mike's head jerked up in realisation. The pills had been sitting at the bottom of his bag since he got them. Eating them made him feel like there was something wrong with him - like he was ill. He knew he was but he was still trying to make it as false as possible.

"Well then I assume you would be in need of some more" Mike shot him a confused look "I mean the dose you were given was only for 2 weeks ... "

"Oh yes ... I just missed out a few days I'm almost out ... think I will need some more" Harvey gave Mike an intense look. Harvey wasn't buying it.

"Ok then I'll prescribe you some more you need to keep taking them through your treatment"

The rest of the appointment passed with Harvey asking most of the questions and getting irritated at the Doctor while Mike sat there looking lost with sadness in his eyes. Harvey was growing more and more annoyed at the doctor's negativity. Not once had he reassured Mike or attempted to give him hope. The only thing he had been doing was telling the pair about how Mike's condition would deteriorate and all the side effects of the treatment - to Harvey it sounded like the treatment was going to make Mike worse not cure him!

"You may need to stop working soon as you will become weaker which will mean that you will get tired very quickly."

"But how long do I have?" Mike spoke after having stayed silent throughout most of the appointment. Harvey's head snapped as he looked at Mike in horror. His treatment hadn't even started yet, it was still the beginning stage and Mike was asking when he was going to die?! Harvey couldn't believe it. And what was worse was the response of the doctor.

"Well Mike looking at you, not very long that's all I can say - I mean it's quite soon to tell but my guesses are usually quite accurate" the doctor spoke in a light tone almost as if he wasn't taking it very seriously and that was all it took for Harvey to stand up from his chair fuming.

"Who the hell do you think you are?! Is this all a goddamn joke to you?! You actually have the audacity to guess how long he will live?"

"Mr Specter you need to calm down I - " But Harvey wasn't having it.

"Calm down?! I don't need to calm down but I'll tell you what I do I need to do, I need to get a doctor who will actually do his goddamn job and try to save Mike's life instead of booking an appointment to hammer on about how he isn't going to live very long! And what kind of doctor waits 2 weeks before bothering to see a cancer patient?!" Harvey's jaw was tight and his fists were clenched. There weren't many people who could make him lose his cool but this doctor certainly had.
"Come on Mike lets get out of here" Harvey glared at the doctor. If only looks could kill. "And don't expect to be seeing us again"

Mike had stormed out of the hospital - taking the stairs again to avoid having to wait with Harvey for the elevator (big mistake). Not a word had been spoken between them until they got outside. Ray was supposed to pick them at half 3 which meant they still had to wait another half an hour.

Mike stopped walking and crossed his arms. He was out of breath just like he had been when they had walked up the stairs - only this time it was worse as he had been walking faster in anger.

"You wanna tell me what the hell that was about?" Harvey looked at Mike slightly perplexed.

"Mike you know exactly what that was about! That doctor was pathetic and I don't give a shit who it is I'm not letting anyone treat your life like a joke."

"Harvey I don't think you get it he was telling the truth!"

"Mike taking guesses at how long you're going to live is not telling the truth - it was as if he was preparing your for death not preparing you for treatment!"

"Well Harvey maybe that's what it is I am dying and nothing's going to change that whether you like it or not" Mike's shouting was really straining his lungs as he began to breathe heavier.

"Mike I don't give a shit what the doctor says I am not going to let you die I -"

"I think you'll realise Harvey that it's not your decision to make! You may be the best goddamn closer in New York City but this is one situation that you can't close" Harvey was going to shout sometime back when he realised how breathless Mike was becoming. His breaths were short and harsh and his face was becoming extremely red. Panic shot through Harvey's body at seeing Mike failing to breath properly.

"Mike that's enough you -"

"No Harvey sometimes you have to face the facts - I'm dying Harvey and there's nothing you can do about it life isn't always -"

"MIKE THAT'S ENOUGH" And that's all it took for Mike to stop shouting and suddenly realise that he couldn't breathe.

Harvey took Mike by his elbow and led him to a nearby bench. Mike was crouched over desperately drying to get his breathing straight in between coughs. The harder he breathed the more it hurt and as much as he hoped it would, breathing harder didn't help.

"Mike where's your inhaler?" Harvey fumbled inside the younger man's pockets desperately trying to locate either the inhaler or the oxygen mask that Mike had told Harvey about the night before. Harvey sighed when he realised that Mike didn't have either of them with him.

"Okay Mike I need you to look at me" He placed his hands firmly on the younger mans shoulders as Mike tried to raise his head.

"Mike look at me" Harvey repeated this time he was successful as Mike weakly lifted his head on which perspiration was appearing and looked directly into Harvey's dark brown eyes which were filled with concern.
"Mike I need you to breathe with me can you do that for me?" Mike vaguely nodded his head. "Okay just take slow deep breaths Mike" Harvey instructed as he exaggerated his breaths so Mike could copy him. At first it wasn't making a difference as Mike was becoming lightheaded and it was difficult for him to pay attention to Harvey. Then Harvey cupped Mike's face in his hands and held it up so Mike wouldn't look away from him.

"Mike you can do this kid okay just breathe like I am" Harvey began breathing heavily again praying Mike would do the same. Eventually Mike's breathing was becoming more in control as he used the little energy he had left to pay attention to Harvey and his breathing.

"That's right kid you're doing great. Just breathe." Harvey said letting out a sigh of relief as he saw Mike was beginning to breathe steadily on his own. Mike sat back and closed his eyes relieved that he was finally breathing properly. Harvey waited till he was convinced Mike was breathing normally and then stood up patting Mike's shoulder and walked over to the shop across the road. He came back a few minutes later with a bottle of water and handed it to Mike. Mike took the much needed bottle without a word and the two sat in silence.

"I'm sorry ... Harvey" Said Mike deciding to break the silence.

"Mike you don't need to apologise"

"No you were right, the doctor was an asshole and he really wasn't helping he was just making me feel worse" He knew why Harvey had lost it with the doctor but the thought of dying had been eating away at Mike's mind and he had just taken it out on Harvey.
"But at least I had a doctor" Mike chuckled wondering what he was going to do now.

"Mike here's what I'm gonna do, I'm not just going to get you the best doctor in America but I'm going to get you the best doctor in the world and I don't give a shit if we have to fly out to Japan every other day. I'm going to get you the best treatment there is you got that?" The determination in Harvey's face was too much and Mike had to take a deep breath and blink back his tears before turning and nodding with a smile at his friend.

Ray pulled up next to them and both men got into the car. They sat down and Mike turned his head to look at Harvey who looked back at him. And for the first time, Mike finally felt a glimpse of hope.

thanks for reading
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