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Chapter 04: Comfort
After his encounter with his brother, Kuon felt that he had a lot of thinking to do. It would be a blatant lie if he said that running away wasn't a tempting option. As much as he despised his position and the part he played in this world, was it really one that he could abandon without remorse? Even if it was only for a short while? What kind of consequence would that have on his parents? Feeling wholly entitled to live his own life didn't mean he could do it at the expense of those who cared so deeply for him.
With a heavily burdened mind, he set off to spend his morning in the comforts of his secret space. When he first arrived, he felt a little disappointed that the rain maiden was nowhere to be found. But after settling in with his book and myriad thoughts, he became grateful for the offered solitude. Little did he know that in an hour's time she would come barreling into his life in such a fashion.
Holding up his hands, he took a small step back and offered her his most compassionate expression. "I won't hurt you."
Kyoko's large eyes rose to meet his after regarding his hands carefully. Feeling the fog of unease suffocating her, she forced a swallow and stopped moving away. Sucking in air through her teeth at the color of his stare, she found herself unable to look away from him. Never in her sixteen years of life had she seen such brilliantly green gems.
Kuon, misreading the way she gawked at him, pushed down a nervous of lump of his own and slowly dropped his hands. "I'm sorry if I startled you," he continued in what he hoped was a friendly tone. "You were just shivering so badly."
Kyoko too afraid to speak simply nodded her appreciation. Looking down at the fabric covering her, she tenderly snaked her fingertips to it and touched it. It was a heavy, thick coat made of high quality canvas in a navy shade of green. Inhaling slowly she caught the scent of sandalwood and vetiver, which calmed her erratic nerves somewhat.
Kuon watched her curiously. Thin, almost frail fingers shaking lightly as they retracted from the coat and disappeared into the shadows against her form. Her painstaking sounds of anguish resonated in his ears over and over again like a haunted ghost. How can anyone feel such agony? He considered with awe. The force of which she unleashed her emotional burden chilled him down to his core.
Catching movement, Kuon felt a sense of satisfaction when he saw her tighten the coat around herself. Green eyes shifted from her shoulders to her face, and unexpectedly he felt all air escape him. Those wondrous golden eyes reflected so much more depth than he could have imagined. Being this close to her, he realized that yesterday's joy was absolutely nothing compared to the twisted, black misery that now bathed in them.
The longer that Kyoko sat there, the more she replayed that tantrum. Unable to remember just when he had entered the clearing, she concluded that he must've been here when she… Her gaze doubled with embarrassment as her cheeks flooded with brightest cerise. Amber orbs darted around wildly as she tried to think of something, anything to say that would alleviate the mortification that was starting to overwhelm her. Coming up with nothing creative, she stuck to the cliché.
"I-I'm sorry," she stammered. "I hadn't realized that there was anyone else here."
Focusing on the sound of her voice, the prince was almost speechless that she was saying something to him. As she spoke, he noted how vulnerable she sounded.
"I'm very sorry for disturbing you," Kyoko added before forcing herself into a proper dogeza.
Stiffening at her gesture, Kuon was a total and complete loss as to what to do next. If she was being so polite did that mean she recognized him as the crowned prince? How would he explain himself? As his mind ran around in circles to formulate some kind of intellectual speech, he saw her sit back with the perfect posture of a true Japanese lady. Bafflement took him.
Trembling, Kyoko didn't bother to give him another look as she pushed herself up effortlessly into a stance, ignoring the protests that plagued her joints and temple. As she stepped towards her bag, her knees buckled beneath her, but she never hit the ground.
Instinctively, he reacted to her fall and leapt up to catch her in his arms. Feeling the weight of her fingers pressing into his biceps, Kuon loosened his hands around her and gently helped her to her feet. "Are you all right?" He asked kindly. Her eyes found his and his breath hitched. "Such sad eyes," he whispered unknowingly.
Kyoko's gaze widened at the comment. Pressing her lips tightly together, she pushed away from him and dropped her head. "I'm sorry," she muttered again.
Uneasily, Kuon slipped his now empty hands into his pockets and continued to admire the strange girl. The rules of propriety scrolled across his eyes in big black font. But his body simply refused to acknowledge any courtesy of the sort. Seeing how delicate she was, he feared that she'd just crumble like broken stone if he moved away from her. It wasn't until he felt his jacket graze his wrist that he snapped out of his thoughts.
"Th-thank you for this, but I really must be getting home," Kyoko said. The heavy coat shook lightly giving away her chill and nervousness.
Looking down at the fabric, Kuon pondered what to do. There was no way she should be allowed to wander these cold woods in such a state, but she also didn't seem like someone who enjoyed "imposing" on others, as she so put it earlier. Grabbing the coat, he was determined to make her take it, even if he had to pull the blasted "Prince" card.
Kyoko intuitively took a step back when he moved towards her, but she didn't sense any sort of ill will from the stranger. When he wrapped the jacket around her once again, she was startled. "What are you doing?"
"You need this more than I do," he replied matter-of-factly.
"No, I couldn't possibly—,"
"I insist," he interrupted with a firm tone. Seeing the reflection of a familiar stubbornness, he smiled tenderly. "I don't know what happened to you. I would be lying if I said I wasn't curious, but it's not my place. I don't know you at all." He stepped back, giving her some breathing room. "But what I do know is that you're a young woman who's totally alone and that you're freezing. That's just a dumb jacket. I have a million more at home. You should take it. I wouldn't want you to catch a cold." Broadening his smile a bit more, he nodded to her as their eyes met.
Kyoko tightened the coat around her shoulders once again and inhaled deeply. Closing her eyes, she relished this unusual feeling of surprise and warmth at being shown such compassion. It was a foreign feeling, to be treated like a person. A soft smile danced momentarily among drying lips as she moved to gather her things.
Don't let her leave, Kuon's mind shouted to him. Unable to process this unusual sensation, he continued to gawk at her as she reached down and grabbed her bag, cringing as if in excruciating pain. He walked backwards to his blanket and book as his mind frantically searched for some excuse. She stood up and started her trek towards the end of the clearing, making his heart race faster. "Wait!" he shouted, the words just spilling from him.
Kyoko stopped and looked over her shoulder.
Rubbing his hands together, he thought of the way she cried and screamed. "Are you sure you want to leave so soon?"
Kyoko turned around completely and met his eyes with a questioning expression. "What?"
"I know that you came here for some kind of escape and I don't want to be the reason that you leave." Subconsciously he started to meander towards her again, deliberately and cautiously.
"But I wouldn't—,"
"I'm sure this place is big enough for the both of us, don't you think?" He answered with a smile, gesturing to their surroundings. Taking note of the reluctance in her demeanor, he pressed on. "It just seems like you need some time to find your peace of mind. Don't let me intrude on that."
Looking into his unusual eyes, Kyoko nodded in agreement.
Fuwa Sho stepped into his bedroom, pulling the towel from his waist he flung it onto floor in a small pile in the corner. After fetching some comfortable jeans from his walk-in closet, he laid down lazily in the middle of this large bed. The pressure of an impending headache teased his temples, making him feel even more agitated and restless than normal. Draping his arm over his forehead, he closed his eyes.
Amber marbles drenched in tears, small body shaking from fear, colored cheeks from humiliation appeared before his eyes. Tsking, he rotated to his side and stared at a random point on the paper doors. The longer those images haunted him, the heavier his heart felt. Somewhere in the darkest, deepest depths of his mind, the heir knew that his treatment of the young girl was outrageous, but whenever he was faced with her presence he simply couldn't help himself. It's not as if she was even that pretty to him. In fact, he found her grating and her simple appearance just added to that aggravation. One day he would be forced to marry that bitch and he hated the idea of it passionately.
Rolling onto his stomach, he buried his face into his pillows and sighed heavily. At first, he decided that the best possible way to deal with the chains that now bound him to this strange, hick of a girl was to make her hate him. If he could fill her heart with as much loathing and disgust for him that he could muster then she would run away and he'd never have to see her again, deal with her invading his life. But the longer she stayed with them, the more apparent it became these chains were molded to his flesh, it was inescapable. As consequence, his abuse of her also grew worse, day by day.
"Fuck," he cursed pulling back to sit. Resting his folded arms along his knees, he closed his eyes again. As he replayed today in his mind for the umpteenth time, he concluded that Kyoko was getting close to her limit. The anguish he saw in her stare seemed to grow more and more with each passing second. If he kept up his asshole tendencies then any day now she would flee, or maybe…
What the hell are you thinking? He berated himself. Would you really be able to live with yourself if she went to such an extreme? Shaking his head, he clenched his teeth and combed his hair back with his fingers. But then again, whatever you do to her now must far exceed that extreme… I guess I can't stop, I just can't afford to give up now.
Peeling the last remnant of skin off the fruit, he tossed it behind him. "Would you like some?" he asked the rain maiden as he carefully yanked out a small piece of the citrus, offering it to her.
Moving her eyes from the orange slice to his eyes, Kyoko nodded and took it. Placing it into her mouth, she was immediately greeted with a sweet yet very tangy juiciness. "This is delicious," she said quietly.
Kuon grinned, trying not to laugh, at her response. How cute, he thought. "There's plenty, so feel free to take more."
A comfortable silence befell them as they sat on Kuon's blanket and listened to the calming sounds of rushing water over smooth pebbles. The wind lingered in their hair and fragrance of each other's company wafted around their senses, lulling them both into individual lost thoughts of curiosity. Ten minutes could have passed or ten seconds, time seemed to have just stopped momentarily.
Slowly, the prince turned his head towards her. Her small hands rose to her head, raking back the length of her thick, beautiful black hair. Unsatisfied with the loose combing, she reached up, bunched her hair and brought it to the side. She exquisitely braided it down. When she reached the end, she took a few small strands and wrapped it around like a ribbon, tying a small knot.
"Won't that hurt," he asked, mesmerized by such a simple thing.
Snickering, Kyoko shook her head. "Not at all."
Feeling sheepish, he chuckled in turn. "That was probably a really stupid question." She swung her braid back and looked into his eyes, making his heart skip.
"I doubt that you have the need to do such things to your hair," she said in jest.
So caught up in the presence of her, Kuon almost didn't hear her words. Clearing his throat, he nodded. "You're right about that." Forcing his face from hers, he stretched out his longs legs and then laid back, stacked hands making a tolerable pillow. "I wish it would rain again," he said quietly more to himself than to her.
Lifting her eyes to the sky, Kyoko offered a genuine smile. "Yes, I love the rain," she answered. "I love to come here and just dance around when it rains, the drearier it is, the more I just love it."
As if by magnetic attraction, Kuon just couldn't keep his gaze away. The painting of her prancing around in the water's embrace with wet, clumpy hair twirling with her like ribbons flooded his imagination. "Aren't you ever worried about getting sick?"
Kyoko shrugged. "No one would care if I did. Besides, when you have other people to worry about, you tend to not use that concern on yourself."
Shifting to lay on his side, he propped his head up with his palm. "So do you come from a large family?"
Kyoko scoffed instinctively. "Yeah right," she mumbled. Turning her body to face him, she laid her legs down, on their sides and kept her skirt tucked tightly around them. His baffled expression made her smirk. "Confused about something?"
"A little bit," Kuon nodded. "Do you not have a big family then?"
"No, I don't," she answered honestly. "I don't really have a family at all."
"Then who do you take care of?"
"They are just the people that I live with."
"But… what about your parents?"
Kyoko could feel her throat tighten at the mention of them. What could she honestly say about them? Yes, she had them, but that didn't make them family…
Seeing her sadness return, Kuon parted his lips to apologize for being such a nosy bastard, but never got the chance.
"I have a mother. She works as a lawyer, so she is never home. I think I see her a couple times a year. My father was a drunk, according to her, who never wanted children. So when she had me, he left." Somehow her head dropped as she spoke. Taking in a deep breath, she raised it again and was surprised by the expression on his face—brows lightly scrunched, eyes focusing intently on hers. "I know it's kind of cliché—,"
"That wasn't what I was thinking," Kuon interrupted, sitting up fully. Crossing his legs, he leaned towards her a bit and felt a powerful curiosity starting to take over his will. "Who do you live with then?"
"I live with this family who own a ryokan. I think the okami-san is a very close friend of my mother's."
Kuon regarded this information and felt anger filtering into his adrenaline. "How could a mother just dump her kid on someone else and take off? What the hell is wrong with that woman?" The sounds of Kyoko's laughter disconcerted him from his thoughts.
"Nobody wants me." Fingertips swiped a few rogue tears that formed at the corners of her eyes. "She's one of those who really loves making money and keeping it all to herself. I guess when I was born it just meant less for her. It must be easier to forget that I exist so she doesn't have to take care of me."
"That's horrible," Kuon snapped, surprising her. "No mother should be so fucking callous. If that's really how she felt then…"
"Then what?" Kyoko quipped. "Give me up for adoption? Or maybe she should have aborted me?"
"I'm sorry," Kuon mumbled. "That's not at all what I meant—,"
"I've thought it over so many times in my mind. Why did she do this to me? What did I ever do to her to warrant such an existence? I think it would have been easier for everyone involved if she would have just strangled me as a baby…"
Kuon grabbed her wrist and pulled her into his arms. He could feel her whole body stiffen from the contact, but he didn't care. The idea that someone, a girl in particular who's no older than he, to feel so worthless was more than he could process.
"Wh-what are you d-doing?" Kyoko stammered, feeling his hands on the back of her head and her mid-back.
"No one is better off dead," he said seriously. "No one should have to think that way," he continued, his lips almost grazing her head. "Especially someone so fucking young."
She had never been hugged. Not once in her sixteen years of life had anyone taken her in their arms in such a fashion and given her a hug. No one has ever shown her any sort of care and consideration. No one has ever felt anything other than loathing for her. This feeling was so unfamiliar and foreign to her. But Kyoko realized that this feeling was one that she had been yearning for ever since she could remember. As the seconds tolled on by, she found it easier to just absorb it all and somehow, even through its awkwardness, she felt a calm.
When Kuon finally released her, he took a moment and brushed the loose strands of her bangs from her face. Retracting himself entirely, he licked his lips and apologized. "I didn't mean to just… you know."
"It's okay," Kyoko answered smiling gently.
Another bout of comfortable silence passed between them before Kuon's relentless curiosity returned with full force. Incapable of helping himself, he probed. "You talk as if your life is so horrible. Does that mean that the people you live with treat you badly?"
Kyoko could still feel her heart racing from his contact. Taking a few breathes, she found she didn't have the courage to look at his face again, so she kept her head low and shrugged. "I guess that's a matter of perspective. I can't really complain, I mean, they took me in when I had nowhere to go."
"But still, what are they like? If it's a matter of perspective then that must mean that yours has to be skewed by whatever experiences they offer you? Right?"
"I guess you could say that," she answered distantly, thinking about the Fuwas. "Fuwa-sama is very kind to me. He doesn't talk very often, but whenever he does I can tell that he has a good heart. The Okami-san…" She can be tyrant and the most frightening one at that, Kyoko continued inwardly. "She's a woman who has a lot of responsibility, which is understandable, she runs the ryokan. I think sometimes she forgets that not everyone is just a customer or an employee."
"I see," Kuon said quietly, reading the words that she left unspoken.
"And then… there is Fuwa Sho…" Kyoko continued feeling a shiver steal down her spine. "He's…"
"I said kiss me!"
His voice resonated in her ears. Kyoko could feel her skin crawl.
"If you don't, I'll ruin you so badly that the whole school will know just how much of a fucking whore you are!"
Kyoko began to shake her head, hoping to will such a feat from passing. Her hands became clammy and her throat refused to give way to the oxygen she was starting to crave.
Seeing the drastic change in her demeanor, Kuon reached out and grabbed her hand, giving it a squeeze. Slowly her head rose and he was taken aback by the force of emotion, the depth of the terror that stared back at him. In that instant, he knew the cause of her anguish, the reason behind such heart-wrenching melancholy. He was speechless.
"I-I'm sorry," she mumbled, pulling her hand back. "I just—,"
"What did he do to you?" Kuon asked himself, aloud. A single drop of liquid found its freedom and rolled down her pale cheek. Without hesitation, his thumb came up and wiped it into oblivion. "I'm sorry for asking you all of these stupid questions."
Sniffling, she quickly dried her face. Ignoring his apology, Kyoko smiled as if nothing had happened. "Tell me about yourself."
Taking the hint, Kuon casually laid back down and tried to forget the images of some mysterious man hurting the rain maiden. As a man, his imagination become creative and the rage that ensued almost became overwhelming. "I don't have much to tell you. In comparison, it seems that whatever problems I have are drastically insignificant."
"According to whom?" Kyoko quipped quickly. "You probably come here for the same solitude that I do, which means that whatever you have going on isn't insignificant. Nothing is ever insignificant if it's important enough to you."
Sitting back up, he just shook his head. "How do you do that?"
"Do what?"
"Just…," Take everything in stride, he thought. You tell me this horrible life you live yet here you are just pretending like it's all for nothing, like you don't bear a burden… What I wouldn't give for such an ability.
"Please, tell me about yourself," Kyoko asked quietly, almost pleading for a distraction from her demons.
Kuon sighed. "My life feels so fucking childish now. There's nothing grand or spectacular about me. I'm your typical spoiled brat who stems from a very wealthy family, one that has intense traditions and obligations." Thinking about the crown and all of the impending responsibility just looming above his shoulders, made Kuon feel anxious. Pushing into a stance, he shoved his hands into his pockets and slowly paced circles around the blanket. "I have this fate, this stupid ass destiny that I need to fulfill just because I was born with a particular set of genetics. I don't want any of it. I just want to be able to find myself and do whatever the fuck makes me happy."
Walking over to a large rock, he sat down and looked at Kyoko and knew that she would understand better than anyone else he knew. "I just look at my life and wish I could be anyone else. I have dreams, aspirations that will never come true because of the ropes that bind me to this… obligation."
Kyoko bobbed her head in acknowledgement. "It's like you can see the option that will give you that freedom just dangling in front of your eyes, but in the end, it's just a fleeting thought to process. You know that you'll never get there no matter what you do…"
"Yes!" Kuon agreed enthusiastically, sliding back down to her level. Raking his hair back, he gathered his thoughts and licked his lips. "I feel like I'm standing in this room with everyone that matters, everyone that affects how my life will eventually turn out and I'm reaching out to them, screaming even. But instead of words, it's just white noise, blatant fucking static."
"That doesn't sound like a very insignificant problem to me, Mr. Stranger." Kyoko smiled sweetly in understanding.
Matching her stare, Kuon could feel himself once again drowning in its depths. Such a rich color of ocher, yet they were just dripping black with misery, one that now became clear, was no different than his own. Strong, large hands began to reach out wanting to touch her face, needing to know that all of this isn't some stupid hallucination concocted by his busy mind. As his fingertips grazed her skin, he recognized how bold he was being. Quickly the hand snaked in retraction and he cleared his throat.
Kyoko could feel her heart stop in its cage. Rendered immobile, she braced herself for the contact. She knew it was wrong, she knew that it was highly inappropriate, but she couldn't forget the way he held her, how comforting it was. Her hunger for support seemed to have blossomed into overdrive from that one moment…
"Wow, the sun is almost gone."
Like an alarm clock, she was shocked out of her reverie. Snapping her head to the sky, she gasped. The sun's setting… If I'm not home in time to do my errands, or help Sho with… Oh god no… "I have to go," Kyoko mumbled, hastily grabbing her things and standing up.
Kuon was left a bit disoriented by how quickly she moved. He watched her slip the coat from her shoulders and hand it over. "Wait you'll catch a cold…"
"I appreciate the gesture, but I can't go home wearing that," she answered, giving her surroundings a look over to make sure she wasn't forgetting anything. Satisfied that she had everything, she spun on her heel and ran for the woods.
"Wait!" Kuon shouted desperate for just another minute or two, when he realized he didn't even know her name. "At least give me your name! Please!"
Stopping at the edge, Kyoko looked back at him and shouted, "Kyoko!"
With that she disappeared from his sight, leaving a ghost of her serenity imbedded deeply into his mind for the rest of the evening.
I know this chapter was probably a bit slow, but I really wanted to focus on the roots of their relationship. I know it's a style that's not really popular, but I feel their bond will be vital in this story. I'll understand if you choose to drop it, as this pace might continue for a few more chapters. Have a good weekend.
