A big badical booyah goes out to MrDrP for his beta-reading and bondiggity advice.

Special thanks to mkusenagi2, MrDrP, surfrost, and conan98002 for their reviews

And thanks to everyone for reading.

KP and her friends are owned by Disney. Everything from GR is the intellectual property of Thomas Ruggles Pynchon. "Tlon, Uqbar, and Orbis Tertius" is by Jorge Luis Borges

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… the low reeds singing an instant on striking porcelain (it's raining against a window somewhere, and outside on top of a sheet-metal vent on the roof: cold Boston rain) then quenched in the water … There's no calling it back. Either he lets the harp go, his silver chances of song, or he has to follow. – Gravity's Rainbow, page 63

I.

"So how'd your first melee in nearly a year with Drew go, Kimmie-cub?" James Possible asked from behind his ever-present newspaper.

Looking up from her half-touched plate of eggs, bacon, and pancakes and her half-read AP English textbook, Kim thought her father's question over. She thought it over so long, in fact, that James assumed she hadn't heard him.

"Kimmie-cub?"

"Sorry, daddy." Kim said quickly. "I'm just not really sure how to explain it."

"Well, he didn't give you any trouble, did he?"

"Drakken? Oh no. Just the usual. A completely whacked plan that self-foiled, he cried, GJ dragged him away. Oh, that reminds me, GJ believes they have confiscated the rest of your Hepheastus technology from his lair."

"Sounds like another humdinger courtesy of my daughter," James smiled as he put down his paper. His smile faded as he spied the concerned look on his daughter's face. "So why are you so down-in-the-dumps?"

"Shego."

"Did she give you any trouble?" James asked concerned.

"No, she wasn't even there."

"I see. And that's a real problem, isn't it?"

"Well, it's way weird."

"I'm sure she'll turn up sometime, Kimmie."

"That's just it, Dad. I'm scared that when she does show up it won't be connected with a take-over-the-world scheme; that it will just be personal. I just know she so wants revenge on me, and the fact that she has abandoned Drakken makes that all the more likely. I'm pretty confident I can take her, but I don't want anyone else to get hurt. I mean what if she showed up unexpectedly at graduation, or while Ron and I are at Temple, or even while we are driving down to Florida."

Kim couldn't help but notice her father's expression blanche a little when she referenced their annual visit to see Nana Possible.

"Dad, is everything okay with Nana?" Nana Possible had had to cancel her holiday trip to Middleton the previous Christmas because she had caught the flu just a week before she was scheduled to come. Everyone had seriously missed her, especially Ron, and were all relieved when she made an apparent full recovery not a week into the New Year. But maybe … there was something else wrong with her.

"Oh, yes," her father answered quickly. "She's never been better. Why do you ask?"

"Well, you made a funny face when I mentioned the trip. The trip is still on isn't it?"

"Of course," James said, "the week after you graduate. You know, since you and the boys went to the same school this year it has certainly made it a lot simpler to plan family vacations, you know?"

Kim so didn't want to be reminded of how the Tweebs were "simplifying" her Senior Year at Middleton. However, she also knew when her father was trying to deliberately change the subject. In the past his conversation shifts had frequently been used to avoid the subject of boys. Since she and Ron had been together, and the subject of "boys" had become the subject of "Ron," Kim had noticed her father's unease gradually diminish. Could it be that maybe Nana had an issue with Ron? She had seemed fine, even amped, about their relationship when the family had visited her the previous summer. So that couldn't have been it. Nevertheless, Kim was definitely picking up an old-school "boys" vibe from her father.

Before she could push the subject further with him, he was up and out of the kitchen, a pleasant if slightly tight smile on his face.

"What are you reading?" Anne Possible asked, coming in from the garage with a basket of laundry.

"Oh …," Kim said, her reverie on her father suddenly broken, "well, I am not really sure how to say it."

"What do you mean, honey?"

"I mean I don't think I can pronounce any of the words in the title," Kim explained.

Anne put down the basket of clothes in the seat her husband had just vacated and looked over the heading of the open page. "Ohhh, I remember that story!"

"Well, how do you pronounce it?" Kim asked.

Anne thought for a moment, "I don't think it is really that important if you can pronounce those names correctly. But I think you would pronounce the second word 'Uck-bar.' I read it when I was an undergrad. I liked it a lot. It is really creepy!"

"Creepy, huh?" Kim asked. "I don't know. I've read a third of the way in, and there's nothing 'creepy' about it at all. It's really rather boring."

"Don't worry," Anne smiled, "it gets real creepy before too much longer."

"Mom," Kim asked closing the book, "is there something wrong with Nana?"

"Not to my knowledge. Why do you ask?"

"Well, I just mentioned the Florida trip to Dad, and he got this funny look on his face."

"Oh, I see," Anne said unable to suppress a giggle. "Nana's fine. It is just that … well … she's apparently got a boyfriend."

"No way!" Kim smiled. "No wonder I got that uncomfortable 'boy vibe' from him." She laughed.

"Yes," Anne confirmed, "it wasn't bad enough worrying about his daughter and boys; now he has to worry about boys chasing after his mother."

After pouring herself a cup of coffee, Anne sat down across from her daughter and asked how things had gone on the mission the previous evening. Kim filled her mother in on all the details of Drakken's whacked plot, its predictable outcome, and Shego's ominous absence--but she also let her know about the … well … the sorta-fight she and Ron had had, their making up, and the rather frightening time they had getting out of the caverns.

"So, was someone blocking Wade's signal?" Anne asked.

"Not sure," Kim said with a sigh. "When I remembered that aspect of the sitch, we were halfway home, and Wade couldn't locate any signals of any kinds coming from the caverns. Of course, if someone had setup some kind of blocking mechanism they could have taken it off-line by the time I asked him to check."

Anne could see her daughter was still very preoccupied with this last element of the previous evening's mission. "If someone had been blocking the signal, and those blackouts had not been accidents, do you believe that person would be Shego?"

The momentary flash she saw in her daughter's eyes was all the confirmation Anne needed.

II.

Although both his parents agreed to let him sleep in Saturday morning because he had arrived home late (early?) from Australia the night before, Ron was still feeling kinda guilty that he had skipped Temple. To make amends, he was cruising the aisles of Smarty Mart for all the Stoppables' Seder night needs.

"Ron, I really don't think you're going to need all this matzah for one night," Felix Renton commented, as he watched his friend literally overflow the cart with packages of unleavened bread.

"I know, I know," Ron explained, "but these prices are out of control! Besides, I always stock up this time of year."

"Stock up? But I thought Passover only lasted a week."

"Well, yeah, but I don't just eat it around this time of the year. Felix, my man, you would be surprised how well matzah complements a rainbow of different cheeses. That reminds me! We need to hit the salsa aisle before we jet!"

"Matzah nachos?" Felix asked warily.

"You got it! Delicious, nutritious, and kosher-istious!"

"Kosher-istious?"

"Well, okay," Ron admitted with a shrug, "even if that was a word, they probably wouldn't be kosher."

As they reached the huge pyramid display of gefilte fish jars, Ron realized that he didn't have any more room in his cart. "Felix, uh, do you mind …"

Felix pressed a button on one of his wheelchair's control panels. Instantaneously, the back end of the chair transformed into a good-sized cart for groceries. "Load 'em up," he sighed.

III.

"If Shego is bothering you that much, maybe you should contact Global Justice and see if they can double their efforts on finding her," Anne suggested.

Kim rolled her eyes. "According to Dr. Director, Shego has been a priority target since she and Drakken escaped from prison. If they couldn't find him after seven months without my help, I so doubt they can find her."

Beep-be-bee-beep.

Kim flipped on the Kimmunicator, "Go, Wade."

Wade Load had a very pleased look on his face. "I've got really good news, Kim."

"Really?" Kim said a little taken aback. "What's up?"

"GJ caught Shego."

"Wh-what?"

"Yep, they apprehended her in the Black Sea. She was trying to purchase the rusty hull of an old luxury yacht under false pretenses."

Kim was still feeling the shockwaves of Wade's bombshell, and asked, without really thinking, "Do they know why she was doing that?"

"Well, GJ questioned her, but according to their report, she was less than forthcoming. Is it important?"

Kim shook her head and smiled. "No, of course not. Thanks for the heads up, Wade. As always, you rock!"

Anne placed a reassuring hand on her daughter's shoulder. "There. Now don't you feel better?"

"You have no idea!" Kim beamed.

"I'll bet Ron will be extremely pleased as well. When is he dropping by?"

"In a couple of hours, I think," Kim said. "When he called this morning, he said he was going to Smarty Mart for Passover supplies. He was pretty bummed that we slept through Temple."

"So what are your plans until he arrives?"

"Well, I guess I'll stretch out on the sofa and finish this story," Kim said, the relief still palpable in her voice. "All I can say is it better get creepy fairly soon. Or I might just fall asleep."

IV.

As they waited in a line that only seemed to get longer the longer they were in it, Ron complained, "I knew we should have gone in the express aisle!"

"I think we would have had a fight on our hands if we had done that, Stoppable."

"What do you mean? We only have three items."

"Correction, we have seventy-three items. Twenty-four items for each of the three different types of items we have."

"Details, details. This tanks."

"No argument here."

After a moment's silence, Ron asked, "Felix? Have you asked Tara to the prom yet?"

Felix sighed deeply. "No."

"Dude, it's less than a month away! How long are you gonna wait?"

"Ron," Felix countered patiently, "if I remember correctly, last year you asked Possible to the dance after it had already started."

"Not true," Ron asserted. "She asked me after it had already started."

"I don't know, Ron," Felix sighed, "what if … I don't know, what if she still isn't over Mankey?"

It was so odd for Ron to be in the position of helping someone else overcome the "Josh Mankey" curse that he couldn't help but smile. "I know just what you are going through, dude. But I'm telling you, everything's fine now. I'm sure she is so over her Mankey Pain."

Tara Strong had attempted to maintain her relationship with Josh Mankey after the art student had graduated last spring. Unfortunately, the long distance relationship didn't go the distance, and they had become "just friends" by Christmas. Tara had not been able to get over Josh as easily as Kim had, and, for a while there, Kim, Ron, Bonnie, and the rest of the squad had been really concerned for her. Fortunately, by the time Middleton's Varsity basketball team had finished dead last in the regional tournament, she was back to her normal perky self.

"Maybe you're right," Felix nodded, yet it was clear to Ron that his friend was nowhere nearer to asking Miss Strong out.

"I know, maybe if you ask her out on a regular date first, asking her out for the prom won't be a big deal."

"Unfortunately, that's the problem. I don't think I could even ask her for directions to class."

"Ohhh, I gotcha." Ron thought for a minute. "I know, maybe if you could skip the asking part and just hang out together it might be easier."

"Wait a minute--go out on a date with her before asking her out on the date in the first place?"

"Sure!"

"I must be missing something, Ron."

"It's so simple, Felix. Kim and I go somewhere … like the movies … and I ask you to come as my guest and Kim asks Tara to come as her guest. Bingo!"

"That could work," Felix mused, "but I don't think the movies is the right place. That is too much of a 'date thing' and I have a feeling you guys would rather enjoy the movies alone than with two spare, awkward wheels spinning between you."

"Hmm, something other than the movies …" Ron thought hard on this one--so hard that he failed to notice that the line had moved forward. Fortunately, Felix got them going before the fairly perturbed customer behind them, who bore an uncanny resemblance to Steel Toe, could take action.

"I've got it!" Ron announced. "We could invite you to Seder dinner this week!"

"That might work, but do you think Possible would want you to do that?"

"Why would Kim mind?"

"Well, Seder had been something special for you two for a long, long time, right? And this year is the first Passover dinner with you two as a couple, right?"

"Oh man, you're right. I am such an idiot!"

After a few moments of silence, Felix finally said, "Well, it's not a bad idea, Ron. Ask Kim and see what she says. If she doesn't mind, I'll do it."

"Okay," Ron brightened. "I'm sure it'll be fine. Kim would do anything for a friend, but, you're right, it would be better to be safe than sorry."

"By the way, Ron, how are things between you two?"

"Well," Ron sighed, "we kinda had a fight last night."

"Really," Felix said a little shocked. "I'm sorry to hear that. Is everything okay now?"

"Oh yeah," Ron smiled broadly, "we made up and everything. It was just that I was acting like an idiot and she said that she was behaving like a jerk and you know."

"Wow," Felix smiled, "typically couples fight because they think the other person is the jerk."

"Yeah, well," Ron trailed off.

Felix sensed there was something more to the story. However, he could also sense that Ron didn't want to talk about it. If Ron Stoppable wanted to keep mum about something, Felix knew he probably had a pretty good reason.

And, of course, there was more to the story. The reason for the fight, if traced back to its original source, had been Kim and Ron's shared nightmare from almost a year ago. And that was something only known to the two of them. And Mrs.Dr.P.

Ron hated to admit it, but their Australian mission had most definitely proven that his "dream solution"--the nightmare exorcisms he had masterminded--had failed. Well, not completely failed, the exorcisms were exceptionally and unexpectedly fun, but they certainly had not resolved their nightmare issues.

As with all things intimate between Kim and himself, Ron never breathed a word to anyone about these exorcisms. In fact, the only other person who did know about them had found out by accident. Just thinking about THAT embarrassed Ron so much that whenever he did think about it he involuntarily shuddered.

"Are you okay, Ron?"

"Wh-what?"

"You looked like you were wigging out for a second," Felix said in a bemused voice.

"Oh, that was nothing. I was just thinking about something."

"Thinking about what? Monkeys?"

"Yeeeeeeeeeeah, Monkeys! That's it! I've got to stop thinking about monkeys. Yes."

Felix shook his head. Although Ron was one of his best friends, his goofiness went beyond belief on occasion.

In any case, reenacting the nightmare with a slight casting change had certainly seemed like a good idea when Ron first thought of it. Their biggest concern in the dream was Shego, and the only villain that had ever bested Shego had been Ron … or … Zorpox … who was Ron, well kinda. So Ron's bondiggity idea had been to play out the nightmare again, but instead of meeting Shego, Kim would meet Zorpox. That way it was obvious that a) Shego hadn't taken Ron out and b) since the bad guy was him, nothing bad was going to happen to KP. It was kinda like playing "haunted house" back when they were little kids … except for the kissing at the end.

Kim thought his idea was more "odd" than "bondiggity," but she was willing to roll with it. And after they had played it out the first time, Kim agreed that it was a good idea, a very good idea—at least, that is, after she had stopped laughing. The only downside for her, and the only change she requested when they performed "the exorcism" again, was to eighty-six the music.

That first time, Ron had decided to play some spooky mood music to set the scene and had forgotten to tell Kim beforehand. To make matters worse, he had chosen--at random based solely on the "song's" name from the Possible's CD collection--a piece of music that seriously freaked her out. It was called "The Witch's Sabbath" by some dead old French dude. What freaked her out was a certain part in the "song"—it actually turned out to be classical music—that reminded her of a different piece of music she had heard in a movie that freaked her out. The movie had been The Shining. Ron had to admit, with a few jaw-poppingly boring down-times aside, it was one of the freakiest movies he had ever seen. Anyway, when the dad in the film first goes to the haunted hotel there was this really ominous music playing--the same ominous music that showed up now and again during "The Witch's Sabbath." Although Ron hadn't noticed this at the time they were "exorcising," Kim certainly had, and she was majorly tweaked with him for it. Fortunately, this one oversight on his part hadn't spoiled the evening, and he never made the mistake again.

However, his other oversight that evening almost spoiled the rest of his natural life.

They had been able to play this grown-up and, ultimately, romantically-themed game of hide-n-seek because the rest of Kim's family had been out of town that Friday night and didn't return until the next afternoon. When Kim called Ron Sunday morning and told him her mother had found the Zorpox helmet in the cushions of the couch, Ron's life had flashed before his eyes.

Although a highlight film of Kim, GWA, video games, and every type of cheese known to man was certainly not an unpleasant thing, Ron so feared it was going to be the last thing he would ever experienced. Although Anne Possible, as always, had been very understanding and--very importantly--discreet about the whole thing, it took Ron a long time to not feel embarrassed whenever he was around her. And, as has been mentioned earlier, he developed that shuddering problem whenever he remembered this blunder.

"Roooon. Ron!" Felix whispered urgently. "You're doing it again!"

"Wh-what?"

"You're starting to wig out again," Felix explained. "Personally, I don't care, but you are starting to get stares from other customers."

"Oh, my bad." Ron laughed nervously. "Monkey Temple flashbacks."

"Uh-huh." Felix knew that Ron didn't think about monkeys by accident. But, as long as they made it out of the store without security being called, he was okay in letting Ron slide.

Finally, they were at the checkout. Even counting all the matzah packages Rufus had devoured en route, the basket still seemed to be overflowing. Fortunately, with Ron, Rufus, and the robotic arms with which Felix's chair was equipped, the mountain of Seder supplies was placed on the conveyor belt without causing too much of a wait for the customers in line behind the trio.

The checkout clerk was duly impressed with Ron's unloading skills. He moved so fast that a couple of times it looked as if the matzah packages were unloading by themselves. In fact, at one point the clerk was convinced that a package had levitated from the shopping cart. Since his bagger hadn't remarked on this "flying matzah," the clerk decided to swear off energy drinks, at least for that afternoon.

Although he didn't remark upon it either, the customer with the abnormally hairy knuckles, crouching posture, and excessively large shoes midway down the line most certainly did witness it. And he was not amused.

V.

As Kim inched her way past her brothers' bedroom door in the darkness that was not quite like the darkness of a night sky, she reflected on how much she was really beginning to enjoy these exorcisms. What had first struck her as an off-the-wall and, well, silly idea a year or so ago, had become something she looked forward to every time her family left town. It was just like when she and Ron played "haunted house" when they were little. Flip off all the lights, try to sneak up and scare the other person without getting surprised first yourself. It was the one childhood game that Ron had won more than he had lost.

She tiptoed to the kitchen door; still no sign of Ron, or, Zorpox. She knelt down slowly to get a good look under the kitchen table. Ron was still a first class hider ... and pouncer. Since his inner-child was closer to the surface than was normally the case with the average person, Ron was able to channel a child's ability to hide almost anywhere – nothing seemed too outlandish for him. She would have to really be on her guard if she was going to last through the pre-arranged half-hour "dreamtime." Not that she really wanted to avoid Zorpox and "win" anyway. Still, so Potential Boy wouldn't get too big of a head, she wanted to really make him earn his five-alarm KP kisses this time.

Right before she left the kitchen, she double-checked the breadbox just to be sure he wasn't in there.

She walked past her parent's bedroom door, and, for whatever reason, she recalled how funny it was that the kitchen floor hadn't felt cold against her bare feet. She looked down and could make out the fuzzy while outline of her sneakers. Strange, she didn't remember putting those on.

Then it struck her as odd that she didn't recall the carpet fibers against her bare knees when got down to check under the television set for Ron. She looked, and, yes, she was still wearing her cheer uniform … although she didn't recall putting that on either.

As she was preparing to go down the hatch from her bedroom, she suddenly realized that she was wearing one of those ferociously ugly replacement uniforms Bonnie had finagled the squad into wearing Sophomore year. And that stupid bra was still hanging from that cheerleading trophy, and she knew she had taken it down a long, long time ago.

She found herself at the bottom of the ladder just as the music started. For a split second, she was outraged. Ron was playing the last movement of Symphony Fantastique again! He knew how the Dies Irae freaked her out!

He promised he would never do it again!

Then it hit her. Ron wouldn't break that promise.

She fumbled for the Kimmunicator. It wasn't in the back pocket of her skirt, but she always had it there a-and, wait, it was in the front pocket.

Front pocket? When did Mom sew that? She shook these questions from her head; they so didn't matter right now. She needed to contact Wade ASAP. Where was Ron? Was Shego still in GJ custody?

When the Kimmunicator flicked on, she got the answer to the second question.

Instead of Wade's bedroom, she saw the rusted railing of a ship that emptied onto a stormy sea; instead of her tech guru drinking from a fast food cup, she saw Shego grinning maliciously back at her. The vicious smile seemed to lengthen to unnatural proportions and swallow up the rest of the screen's image.

"Hello, Princess."

Kim opened her eyes. She quickly took in all the familiar features of the Possible living room, Saturday afternoon sunshine streaming through every window. Her literature book lay face down in her lap.

"Aaaargh!" Kim yelled behind clinched teeth. When is this going to stop? GJ finally captures Shego and I have another stupid nightmare!

She took the Kimmunicator out of her pocket and stared at it for a few minutes. She knew it was ridiculous. It had only been a silly dream. Yet she couldn't deny part of her wanted to call Wade to see if Shego was still in GJ custody. Another part of her desperately wanted to contact him to see where Ron was. She wrestled with these fears for a couple of very long minutes and then put the Kimmunicator back into her pocket.

It was just a dream. Nothing to worry about.

Thinking of how she had freaked out the night before made her deeply ashamed. Not only had she acted so completely random, she had also been so the jerk to Ron, not to mention their guides.

Possible, you need to get a grip. It … was … just … a … dream.

Her renewed confidence was belied when the sudden ring of the doorbell caused her to jump in her seat and let out a brief, yet quite loud, cry.

Ron burst through the door a half second later. "Are you okay, KP?" he asked urgently as he sprinted to the couch.

"I'm fine, Ron," Kim said, trying to calm him. "I just got startled by the doorbell, that's all."

That stopped Ron dead in his tracks. "Startled?" he asked, "By … the … doorbell?"

She nodded sheepishly.

"Okay, what have done with the real KP?"

"I know, I know," she said shaking her head and covering her eyes with the palms of her hands. "I am acting like so the freak."

He sat down next to her and placed a hand gently on her shoulder.

She dropped her hands, sighed, and feeling utterly stupid, confessed, "I had another nightmare."

"You did?" he asked, the gravity in his voice unmistakable.

"Y-yes." Kim immediately picked up on the change in Ron's demeanor. She looked up and could see the concern sparkle in his eyes. Charlie and Chris's words about the Dreamtime came flooding back to her. She didn't want to ask, but she knew she had to. "Did you just have one too?" she breathed.

"Well," Ron said, his mood immediately brightened, "I hope not. I just dropped Felix off at his house and drove over here."

Kim was relieved for this brief glimmer of Ronshine, but she needed to press this. This could be very, very important. "Do you remember what you dreamed last night, Ron?"

He screwed his face in thought. "Y-yeah, I was eating this enormous and tasteless burrito," he said finally. "When I woke up I found that I had been chewing on my pillowcase again."

Kim giggled. "Ron, I am such an idiot."

"Hey! Don't be dissing my girlfriend!" Ron said in mock anger. Then he grew serious, "Tell me what your nightmare was about. Same as last years'?"

She shook her head and relayed as much of the dream as she could remember. She concluded by admitting that she had been so freaked when she woke up that she almost called Wade to find out where he was.

"That would have been a big waste of time since I was just outside the door." Ron smiled. "Still, it might not be a bad idea if Wade hooked me up with a Kimmunicator, too."

She had to agree that that was a good idea. "Even if Shego is still in custody that would make me feel so much better."

"Yeah," Ron admitted. "I'd feel better too if I could always make sure you were safe a-and did you just say 'still in custody'?"

"Snap!" Kim said slapping her forehead. "I can't believe I forgot to tell you that! Yes, Wade beeped me this morning—GJ caught Shego!"

"Wow," Ron smiled. "How did that happen?"

"I know," Kim laughed, "it was quite a shock." To Kim's knowledge GJ had never caught Shego before … without Team Possible's assistance. "She was apparently trying to buy some old boat in the Black Sea—which I guess explains why she was on a ship in my dream."

"Why would she want to do that?" Ron puzzled.

"I don't know," Kim said, "it is kind of strange. Does it really matter?"

"Well, since she got caught, I guess not." Ron smiled.

"See, that is why I am so upset with myself right now. I learn that Shego is, at least temporarily, no longer a problem, and I immediately have a nightmare about her! I mean, really, what is it going to take for me to get past this?"

Ron took her hands in his, and said evenly, "You probably won't feel any better … We probably won't feel better until you face her again … and hand her her biscuit."

"Yeah," she nodded, "you're right." Hoping to change the subject to something lighter, she asked how his day had been so far. He explained about his mad purchases for the upcoming week.

"Ron," Kim said slightly rolling her eyes, "I can understand why you always get so much matzah, but why did you feel the need to buy so many jars of gefilte fish? You don't even like it! The only person who barely tolerates it is your dad. When I helped you drag up the Halloween decorations this year, I saw at least a dozen of those jars down in the basement!"

"I know, Kim, I know," Ron sighed, "but those prices …

"Were out of control, yes." She ruffled his hair and kissed him lightly on the cheek.

"KP," Ron said in an uncomfortable voice, "I do have something to ask you about Seder this year."

"Oh? What?" Kim could tell something was bothering him.

"Well," he began, "I was wondering if we could do things a little differently this year …" He explained about Felix's predicament with Tara and what his suggestion had been to break the ice between those two and if inviting them both over for Passover would be all right with her.

Her reaction was unexpected.

"That's a wonderful idea, Ron!" Kim beamed back at him. "Can I invite Monique, too? Do you think your mother would mind? Oh, maybe you could invite Zita, too!"

"You really like the idea?"

"Of course," Kim smiled, "it's supposed to be a celebration, right? As long as your parents don't mind, why shouldn't you invite all your friends?"

"Gee, I never thought of it like that before."

"And to be honest," Kim said throwing her arms around her boyfriend's neck, "I have always loved it when you speak Hebrew. Monique, Felix, and Zita didn't even live in Middleton when you had your bar mitzvah. I'd love to show off your bondiggity Seder skills to everyone."

"Wow! I didn't know you liked it that much!"

"I've always been ferociously proud of how you handled yourself at Passover, Ron," Kim said with smiling, earnest eyes, "always."

She then gave him a two-alarm KP kiss.

He enjoyed the kiss, was relieved that she had taken so well to his suggestion, but something was still troubling him.

"Is there something wrong, Ron?"

"Well, KP," Ron said, "the reason I was worried about asking you is because I thought you had wanted Passover to just be you and me, especially since it will be our first Passover since we became a couple. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you like my idea, but I also … I don't know … "

"Still want to make it something special just for us?" Kim guessed.

Ron nodded.

"Well, Ron," Kim said taking his hands in hers, "Rufus needs the competition. He's found the afikomen the last five years running."

Ron nodded and laughed.

"But, don't worry," she continued, "It will still be special for us." She then explained that for ten years two best friends had let in Elijah, and this year those same friends would welcome in the spirit of the Prophet as a couple.

VI.

Monique had been very amped by the invitation. "Dude-boy speaks fluent Hebrew? Does he have any more secret abilities you have been keeping from the rest of us?"

"Don't even go there, Mon." Kim warned playfully.

She just knew Monique would be receptive to the idea. Unlike Tara, Monique had been able to maintain her long distance relationship with a graduating senior. Brick was only a few hours down the road at Colorado State, but they only got to see each other on the weekends. So Kim had a feeling her friend's Thursday night would be free.

Tara, however, almost threw the entire plan into chaos. She actually had already made plans to go to the movies that night … with Bonnie. However, she ventured nervously that if Kim didn't mind, she could extend the invitation to Bonnie, and she … they would definitely come. Reluctantly, but trying her best not to sound like she was being reluctant, Kim said that would be fine.

Kim had so not expected this turn of events. Although Bonnie's acid tongue seemed to have been dulled somewhat during senior year, Kim still didn't like her, and she knew the feeling was mutual. Bonnie was still caustic, snobby, and rude and never hesitated to voice her disapproval for any new cheer or routine Kim initiated with the squad. Yet, and this was of tantamount importance to Kim and the sole reason why she acquiesced to Tara's suggestion, Bonnie had not picked on Ron once during the entire year.

Although Bonnie didn't go out of her way to be friendly with him, she wasn't unfriendly either. Twice during the year, Kim had seen Bonnie openly laughing at one of her boyfriend's jokes. Furthermore, the word "loser" had not passed the brunette cheerleader's lips for a very long time. In fact, once Kim really thought about it, she realized that Bonnie hadn't said the "l" word since the end of junior year.

Of course, she would have to remind Monique not to bring up Brick. True, it had been nearly a year since Brick left Bonnie for Monique; in addition, the rumors around the cheer squad were that Bonnie's new BF, the mysterious Middleton College student, was exceptionally buff. Still, Kim knew that if anyone could harbor a grudge, it was Bonnie.

When Kim told Ron that Bonnie might be coming, he was surprised, but only concerned in as far as her presence might upset Kim. As long as she remained respectful to Ron, Kim said, truthfully, she had no real problem with Bonnie coming to Seder. If, however, she did anything to make Ron feel uncomfortable, the brunette would be so busted.

On Monday after school, Ron found an unexpected package from Wade waiting for him at home. When he tore open the package, he discovered a Kimmunicator that looked exactly like Kim's except that is was deep red instead of blue. When he tentatively flipped it on, he saw that instead of the KP logo, the splash screen held a blue and white "RS." "Badical," he whispered.

Beep-be-bee-beep.

"Whoa! My first call!" Ron's excitement was delayed somewhat when he realized he didn't know exactly which button to press to answer the call. He knew it was the large red button on Kim's Kimmunicator, but he didn't have one … the only large button he had was … blue. And that is probably it, Stoppable, dur hur!

He flicked the button and immediately, Kim's smiling face filled the screen.

"I see you got the package," she smiled.

"You asked Wade to make this, didn't you?"

She nodded. "But not just because of the reason we talked about Saturday, you really deserve one. You are so much more than a sidekick, Ron."

"This is so badical," Ron said, "you are the most bondiggity girlfriend! Wow, my own Kimmunicator."

"Well, Ron," Kim said still blushing slightly from being called 'the most bondiggity girlfriend,' "maybe we should call it something else. I made sure Wade personalized it so it would be … well … yours."

"Well, what should we call it then?" Ron asked.

"Ummm, Ron-u-ni-cator," Kim ventured.

After a second to let that sink in, they both exchanged gorchy expressions.

"How about …" Ron said deep in the thought, "the Roncom."

"Okay, Roncom it is," Kim smiled. "Why don't you use the Roncom to order us some pizza? Wade made sure to program it with all of your favorite restaurant's numbers."

Less than ten minutes later, Ron was in Kim's room awaiting the delivery of the first, but surely not the last, pizza ordered on the Roncom. He was lounging on her bed while she finished typing up a term paper proposal on her computer. Although he wished they could have the same school schedule they did junior year where they were in every class together, he was so glad he wasn't in her AP English class. The concept of a paper proposal, a paper about what you were planning on writing a paper about, was high on the sick and wrong scale and just barely under the wrongsick radar as far as Ron was concerned.

"So what is this paper about a paper about, KP?" he asked absently, still monkeying around with his new high-tech toy.

"Well, I'm still trying to figure that out. The stories we have to write it on are pretty whack. I just finished the last one yesterday," she explained over her shoulder. "I have it marked in my textbook with Mr. Wiggles."

Ron was glad that Kim still used that silly bookworm bookmark he had given her the first day of eighth grade—her first year in an advanced English class, a class without him. He idly opened the book to where it was marked.

"Toe-lone, Uck-bar, and Orbit Tetrus?" he read out-loud with uncertainty.

"Yeah," she smiled at the computer screen, "that's much better than I did. Mom said she read it when she was in college and thought it was super creepy."

"Is it?" Ron asked his interest piqued.

"So-so," Kim said. "It definitely got better towards the end."

Ron immediately flipped toward the last few pages of the story. The first couple of sentences he read made his head hurt—most of the words didn't even make sense. Just before he quickly shut the book, his eyes caught two sentences that he actually understood. However, they didn't interest him enough to convince him to continue reading.

"Such was the first intrusion of this fantastic world into the world of reality.

I am still troubled by a stroke of chance which made me the witness of the second intrusion as well."

VII.

Seder night began very successfully. Ron could not remember the last time so many people had come for the Stoppable Passover feast. Literally, he couldn't remember; he had been too young. His father's mother as well as his mother's sister and her husband had come until Ron was three. Once the Stoppable's moved to Middleton, only his Aunt Naomi and her husband came, and then only until just before his cousin Shawn had been born. Since he was almost eight, it had only been Kim. And then Kim and Rufus since he was twelve.

As anticipated, Ron's parents had been very excited to know that their little annual gathering was going to resemble more of a party this year. The fact that none of their guests were Jewish didn't matter to them. The fact that all were Ronald's friends who wanted to help him celebrate his heritage was enough. Besides, Middleton had always had a very small Jewish community; it would be nice, they thought, to have a traditional meal that actually drew a crowd.

There were only two little snags that concerned Kim. One, how to set up the seating. She knew she had to keep Bonnie and Monique separate just for safety's sake, while at the same time making sure Tara and Felix were either sitting next to or across from each other. Of course, she would so have to sit next to Ron. And then there was the wild card of Zita. Kim reasoned that 'Z' could make a good buffer between Bonnie and Mon if push came to shove. Finally, it was all worked out … even leaving an empty space at the end of the table for Elijah.

The second snag for Kim was the fact that since there were so many guests who did not understand a word of Hebrew, Ron would have to give an English version of each of the tellings. When he spoke Hebrew he was the picture of confidence, but he always seemed to falter a little whenever he had to be serious in front of a group in English—inevitably, his speech would deteriorate into Ronnish at certain points. And although he did make a few mistakes with his English version of the first telling, her fears proved groundless as it was smooth sailing from then on out.

As Ron was midway through the second telling, Kim glanced over at Mr. Stoppable. The pride and esteem in Elliot Stoppable's eyes for his only son was very evident. Kim tried to catch Ron's eye in the hope that the pride she felt for him was just as obvious in her eyes as it was in his father's.

Bonnie was very well behaved … for Bonnie. The only time she displayed any of her traditional "Bon-Bon goodness" was when everyone got up from the table to search for the afikomen. Kim overheard Bonnie whispering to Tara in exasperation that she thought "this was a just a game for little kids." However, Bonnie went through the motions of searching for the missing piece of matzah with enough half-hearted enthusiasm to mask her annoyance from most of the others.

The search lasted the typical twenty-minutes and, as was typical, the victor was Rufus. Kim had to admit that wrapped in a paper towel between the pages of one of Elliot Stoppable's books was a pretty good hiding place. But short of placing it in some air-tight (or scent-tight rather) container, Kim couldn't see that any place was clever enough to prevent Ron's pet from getting the prize. Word that the afikomen had been found traveled fast, and within five minutes everyone was back at their places at the table.

Everyone, that is, but Ron.

Kim exchanged a look with Ron's mother. They both knew where he most likely was. Barbara shook her head. "Every year I tell him and every year I explain that by telling him I am not 'playing him' when I say that I will never, EVER put it in the bathroom."

"Yes, but that only convinces him that you are playing him. Even more so," Kim said.

"I know, I know," Mrs. Stoppable sighed.

"I'll go get him," Kim offered as she got up from the table.

Sure, enough, there was a light on underneath the downstairs' bathroom's closed door. Kim knocked. "Ron, Rufus found it. You can stop searching now."

"Oh," Ron's voice said surprised. "Oh, that! Oh, okay. I'll be out in a little bit, KP."

"Are you okay in there, Ron?" Kim asked. He seemed completely indifferent to the afikomen, and that was majorly strange.

"Super. Just a little busy, that's all."

"O-okay," Kim said in a tone that she hoped conveyed her wish that Ron not go into details about what he might be "busy" with. His responding silence suggested that it had. She went back to the dining room.

While everyone was waiting for Ron, Tara and Felix started talking and, from all appearances, seemed to have hit things off. Zita and Monique, who barely knew each other, were in an animated discussion over the new GWA video game. And, Kim, well, Kim was talking with Bonnie. Sorta.

Strangely or maybe not so strangely, they were talking about Ron. While tiptoeing over past disagreements on the subject, Kim and Bonnie managed to be civil to each other as they appraised Ron's emergence from being "just the mascot" to being a key member of the Varsity cheerleading squad. Unfortunately, there were only so many times they could echo each phrases before going completely mad. Fortunately, after about twenty minutes, Ron returned to the dining room.

He had something in his hand, something silver.

"Sorry, for the wait guys," Ron said happily, "but look what I found!" he handed the small object to his father.

"Well, look at that!" Elliot Stoppable said, turning it over in his hand a few times. "A harmonica—I didn't know we had one of these."

"I don't think we do, dear." Barbara said.

Elliot flipped the harmonica over. It felt cool to the touch almost as if it had been in water recently. It looked old, but, at the same time, it sparkled. "It looks like someone carved their name into it … with a penknife or something." He examined the underside of the instrument closely and pronounced, "The initial 'T' and then 'S-sloth' … 'Slothrop.'"

"That's a way weird last name," Bonnie Rockwaller noted. Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable nodded in agreement. It was an odd last name.

"Maybe it belonged to the people who lived here before, Honey?" Elliot asked his wife.

"No," Barbara Stoppable shook her head. "The people who lived here before were the Chalfonts."

"Maybe the people before them?" Elliot ventured.

"No, dear," she shook her head again. "I remember the realtor saying that the people who lived here before the Chalfonts were also named Chalfont, a different Chalfont. I remember because I remember thinking at the time that was pretty weird."

Everyone had to agree that did sound pretty weird.

After giving a few tentative blows on the instrument, Elliot Stoppable asked his son where he had found it.

"In the toilet," Ron replied matter-of-factly.

Elliot spit the harmonica almost across the table and turned to his son with a look that was equal parts anger and shock, "DUDE!"

Ron was taken aback by his father's reaction and by the fact that he saw his father's shock mirrored to a somewhat lesser degree by everyone else in the room, even Kim.

Kim had never heard Ron's dad ever raise his voice in anger, let alone with Ron. Even though it hurt her deeply to see Ron the target of such anger, she had to admit that if ever there was an appropriate time for such anger, this was it.

Suddenly, Ron realized what the problem was. "Oh, man!" He slapped his forehead. "Don't worry, Dad." He counted out on his fingers the precautions he had taken. "Soap and water, dip in the bleach, more soap and water, another dip in the bleach, and a final rinse. Y'know," he explained, "the standard procedure."

A wave of relief flowed over the room. Yet, at the same time, everyone in the room, with the sole exception of Ron, had the same thought—"Standard procedure?"

Barbara Stoppable was still concerned. "Ron, I swear I will NEVER, EVER hide the afikomen in the bathroom. Why would you even think to look for it in the toilet?"

"Well, I wasn't, mom." Ron explained that he had been checking on the top of the medicine cabinet when he heard a strange rattling coming from, well, coming from the toilet. He had tentatively lifted the lid just as the harmonica … well … burped out of the water. "It shot out and landed in the bathtub! It was one of the totally strangest experiences of my life."

Even Kim, who knew almost all of Ron's "totally strangest experiences" first hand had to admit that a toilet shooting a musical instrument across a room definitely cracked the top five… and was a few notches right off the weirdness scale, to boot.

With a napkin, Kim tentatively reached out and picked up the harmonica. She turned it over in her hand. Something about it made her feel … odd. Not just because of where it came from either … there was something about it that made her uneasy. It gave the impression, and she couldn't explain why, of being heavier than it looked. And the name, there was something very … not right about it as well. She looked at Ron, "Maybe we should have Wade take a look at this in the morning?"

Before he could answer …

Beep-be-bee-beep.

Beep-be-bee-beep.

Simultaneously, Kim reached for the Kimmunicator, and Ron grabbed the Roncom. They fired them up instantaneously and, of course, said in unison, "What's the sitch, Wade?"

Kim whispered to Ron as they waited for Wade to answer, "Jinx, you owe me a soda."

Wade was more than a little jolted to be getting the same question from two different people on two monitors at the same time. "Ok, guys," he said slowly, "we are going to have to work out a procedure for answering your devices in turn, but that's not important right now."

"What's up, Wade?" Kim said seriously.

"I'm sorry to disrupt your evening, but we have a couple of major things going down and they are both local."

"Go on."

"One, we have a report that Professor Dementor has just broken into the Middleton Space Center."

"Not that guy with the funny accent and that stupid red flashlight?" Bonnie asked. "I thought he went to jail over a year ago!"

"Super villains rarely stay incarcerated for their full terms, Bonnie," Kim explained.

"And," Wade continued, "We just got a tip that Monkey Fist has broken into the Middleton/Tri-City Museum."

"Monkey Boy too?" Ron exclaimed.

"Any chance they are working together?" Kim asked.

"Not enough info." Wade said. "However, I wouldn't think so. Although Monkey Fist has teamed with DNAmy before … well, sorta … Prof. Dementor has always been a strict go-it-aloner."

"Well," Kim mused, "I guess we'll hit Dementor first. The Space Center is closer, and they seem to be a more dangerous combination than Monkey Fist and a museum."

"Wait, KP," Ron interrupted. "I'll take Monkey Boy. You should go ahead and take down Dementor."

"A-are you sure, Ron?" Kim asked, more than a little surprised at his suggestion.

"Yes," Ron said confidently. "He's my arch-foe, and I know I can take him." He saw the concern still brewing in his girlfriend's eyes. "Trust me."

"Okay." She answered, convinced by the look in her boyfriend's eyes as much as by the last two words he had spoken. Turning back to the Kimmunicator, she asked, "Wade, has GJ been alerted to both incidents?"

"Yep." He confirmed. "They should be in both places within thirty minutes."

"Just in time to haul the captured freaks away," Ron smiled.

"Kim," Barbara Stoppable said, "you still have that extra pair of mission clothes in Ronnie's dresser, you can use our bedroom to change."

Suddenly reminded of where they were, both members of Team Possible immediately felt super inconsiderate. Kim and Ron exchanged a glance and both began to apologize profusely for ruining everyone's evening.

"Don't give it another thought, girlfriend," Monique said. "I'll just catch a ride back with Tara and Bonnie."

"Yeah," Zita said waving her hand dismissively, "I can get Felix home no problem. You two have bad guys to stomp!"

Before Ron could run upstairs to change, Elliot stopped his son to apologize for getting so upset with him a few minutes earlier. He also wanted to tell him how proud he was for, what he deemed, was a masterful rendering of the tellings.

Within five minutes, Kim and Ron charged down the stairs and out the front door in full mission mode. Just before he hopped into his mom's car and she into her mother's minivan, they exchanged a brief hug and kiss.

"If you need help, don't hesitate to call me," she said.

"You too," he smiled.

They hugged again and then jumped into their respective vehicles and drove off in opposite directions.

About five minutes later and just as Ron killed the car's lights and rolled quietly to a stop in the Middleton/Tri-City Museum's parking lot, the Roncom went off. His heart was in his throat as he fumbled for the big blue button. Man, I hope KP's not in trouble!

Her image on the screen seemed to confirm that she was okay if a bit sad.

"Ron?" she asked.

"Yeah, KP, what's wrong?"

Depressed by the sound of her own voice, she said, "We forgot to let in Elijah."

xxxxxxxxx

TBC...