october 28th, 1974

and pulse to pulse, now shush
she makes the sound,
the sound the sea makes
to calm me down

dissolve me - alt-j

Lily has always been fond of Remus Lupin. He is a sensible, sweet boy who shares very little social traits with his two best friends, which means a great deal to Lily, who still regards James Potter and Sirius Black as the most obnoxious boys in their year and, very possibly, in the entire castle. He loves reading, scores top marks in nearly every single subject and, most importantly, is always willing to share a decent conversation with her. They were Transfigurations partners in their first year, deskmates over most of their third year, and now they have been partnered up by Madam Pomfrey to work on their latest Herbology assignment together. Lily feels more than relieved — she could have been paired up with one of her friends or a Ravenclaw, sure, but she has been dreading the idea of having to work with James Potter again after having spent their second year dealing with his mannerisms and rather childish attitude in Potions three times a week. Remus is a more attentive boy, not to mention smarter and more resourceful — at least in Lily's opinion — and he is bound to make a brilliant partner.

And that is exactly why she feels a little disappointed when he does not show up to their first study session together.

"I'm sure something must've happened to him," Emmeline says sympathetically when Lily explains, in a slightly hurt tone, what has just happened. "I mean, it's Remus we're talking about. He's just about the nicest guy in the Gryffindor tower."

"Yeah, maybe he was held back by Professor Slughorn or something," Dorcas adds, shrugging. "You should just talk to him over dinner, then reschedule. Perhaps he wasn't feeling well? You know he's allowed to skip class because of that weird pox he had when he was little."

Lily nods thoughtfully. Remus does skip classes every now and then — he has always been a rather sickly boy, and he had skipped Defense Against the Dark Arts the previous day because he wasn't feeling too well, as Peter explained to the girls in a rather confidential tone. She resolves to follow her friend's advice and ask him what happened over dinner, but she still can't help but feel a little disappointed about the whole thing.

However, much to her surprise, Remus doesn't show up for dinner either — and neither do the rest of the Marauders, which makes her think that the four boys are just off in one of their shenanigans. They're very possibly the most popular boys in the castle, after all — everyone knows of them and their tendency to pull pranks on Slytherins, as well as their loud attitudes and little respect for rules. Which, of course, unnerves Lily to no end. She can't stand the idea of people praising and encouraging their sense of superiority and their constant bullying of certain students, among which Severus is still their main target. Lily still hangs out with him every now and then and, in spite of being wary of the way her friend talks about Muggle-borns and his Slytherin friends, she really can't understand why James Potter has such a fixation on the poor boy.

"Well, that is sort of strange," Mary notes, furrowing her brow. "Why would they skip dinner?"

"Merlin knows," Lily sighs, shrugging her shoulders. "I'll just talk to him tomorrow, I guess. As long as Potter and Black aren't around, of course."

"I really don't think they're that terrible, Lily," replies Marlene as she helps herself to some pudding. "I mean, sure, they're a little immature, but that's how most fourteen-year-old boys act. Especially around the girls they fancy."

Lily frowns. "What do you mean, around the girls they fancy? Remus doesn't fancy me, we're just good friends."

"Well, I meant James, but — "

"Potter?" Lily's eyebrows rise in surprise. "What in Merlin's name are you talking about, Marlene. He doesn't fancy me, he's just a show off and a bully. But yes, he and Black most definitely are the most immature fourteen-year-olds that I've ever come across."

"Come on, Lily, it's obvious that he likes you," Dorcas sighs. "I mean — he's been asking you out for ages now!"

"That's just him being childish," Lily counters. "I bet those four have some sort of bet going on. You know how he is, Dorcas — he's already dated like, three different girls this year. He might like me in a superficial way, but he can't fancy me in a, let's say, serious way. He just isn't that deep."

"Well, I for one think that you're still misjudging him," insists Marlene, shrugging. "I could be wrong, but I guess they'll grow out of their current attitude eventually. And they are quite handsome and exceptionally good at charms and spells, you know."

Lily just snorts and stuffs more cheesecake into her mouth, feeling slightly annoyed by the conversation. Why are her friends so defensive of Potter and Black, anyway? She knows that Marlene has never quite disliked them — and even might fancy Sirius a little, from Lily's point of view — but she doesn't understand why the other three feel so adamant about changing her mind about James Potter. She just doesn't like him, and feels like she never will. She cares for Remus, and has found Peter's jokes funny a couple of times, but that's it. And that is why she resolves not to give the four boys much more thought and simply enjoy her dinner.

"At least I hope they haven't brainwashed Remus into acting like a prick, too," she mumbles as she fidgets with the remains of her cheesecake, a frown still dangling around her eyebrows.

She's snuggling in the Gryffindor common room with her favourite book, Jane Austen's Emma, when the last couple of students who have been working on essays or chatting amiably decide to call it a day and go upstairs to their dormitories. Her friends must already be fast asleep, but she doesn't quite feel like going to bed just yet — besides, she's immensely enjoying re-reading every single one of Emma Woodhouse's hilarious shenanigans, smiling fondly whenever Mr. Knightley and the girl share a scene. Lily Evans has always found a great comfort in reading books, particularly Muggle novels — she has learned to love everything in the Wizarding world, but she still prefers Muggle authors and their seemingly deeper knowledge of the human soul.

She's still grinning after re-reading one of Emma's wittiest interventions in the entire novel when the entrance door slams open with a loud thud.

She turns around, her eyes wide and her expression suddenly anxious, when she notices three tall figures and a slightly shorter one making their way to the sofa, one of them looking visibly exhausted. She bites her lip when she realizes that they're none other than the Marauders — Remus, his face bloodied and somewhat bruised, limps his way through the common room silently, while James and Sirius, both looking exhausted and visibly disheveled, follow him with a concerned look on their faces. Peter, behind them, is holding his wand and gazing over his shoulder in a protective manner. Lily remains quiet and observes the boys until Remus slumps onto the couch and his eyes go wide when he realizes she has been watching them all along.

"Lily?" he splutters nervously. "What — why — "

"Bloody hell, nobody was supposed to be here, Peter!" Sirius reproaches in an angry tone, placing a hand on Remus's shoulder. "I — let's just let him get some rest."

"S'not my fault that she stayed here past midnight, for Merlin's sake!" Peter frowns at Sirius and pockets his wand, glaring at Lily a few moments later.

James glances at her awkwardly, then pats Remus's head lightly. "You all right, mate? You gave us quite a fright down there — didn't think it would take you so long to come back to your senses this time." His lips purse, unsure of how to phrase his thoughts in Lily's presence.

The girl just stares at the scene in front of her and, once the four boys decide to fall silent. "Uh, all right — what on Earth is going on here? What's happened to Remus? Is he all right?"

Sirius snorts and rubs off some dry blood from his cheek. "He's fine, he's going to be fine. Just — go to bed, for Merlin's sake."

"Do you seriously think I'm going to listen to you, Black?" she retorts and, subsequently, leans forward and crouches by Remus's side, taking his hand worriedly. "Remus? You all right? What happened?"

"I — Lily, just go to bed, please," he whispers, his gaze still lowered. "I'm sorry I couldn't make it to our study session. I'll — I'll make it up to you, I promise. Does Wednesday after Charms suit you?"

Lily lets out a vague chuckle, and shakes her head. "Don't worry about that now, Remus. But please — I need to know what's happened. Who hurt you?" She places a hand on the boy's cheek and she swears she can hear James snort from above them. "Please, Remus. Tell me. I could help you. Why have you been skipping class, why do you look so badly injured now that you're back?"

"'Cause he's a bloody werewolf, that's why." James and Peter stare at Sirius in sheer surprise, while Remus raises his gaze and then ducks his head again, letting go of Lily's hand quickly. Sirius just shrugs and crosses his arms in a defensive way. "What? She wasn't gonna leave until we told her, so now she knows. Now she fucking knows, and we've ruined Remus's chances at having a normal school life."

Lily's lips purse, first in an incredulous way, then because of Sirius's words. She squeezes Remus's hand yet again and then glares at the other boy. "Do you seriously think I'd go around letting everyone in school know about something — something this serious? Remus might be your friend, but he's mine too. And I would never, ever do such a thing — mind you, I wouldn't dream of doing so even if it was you or Potter, in case you want to act less smug about it." She then turns her gaze back to Remus and tries to offer him the kindest smile she can muster in such a situation. "Don't worry, all right? You're safe. We're all going to try our best to help you, and I promise I won't tell a soul. Just — just let me know when you're feeling unwell so that I can help you out with your essays and assignments, all right? A brilliant wizard like you can't let his grades flop because of something like this."

Remus glances at her, and she's surprised to see that he's actually offering her a meek, grateful smile. She hugs the boy — not too tightly, because of his physical state and whatnot — and then stands up again, squeezing his shoulder one last time. Peter looks thoroughly relieved, whereas Sirius's expression tells her that he still doesn't know how to feel about the whole situation. James, on the other hand, smiles warmly at her, and for once she smiles back. She had never thought James Potter would be such a loyal friend — he was very close to the other three boys, sure, but she had never seen him as the kind of fourteen-year-old who is willing to take a bullet for one of his friends. That does say a lot about him, she reckons, even though he's definitely still a prick and an obnoxious toerag. Sort of.

"All right, I think I'm gonna go to bed," Remus mutters finally. "Sirius, Peter, could you — "

"Help you upstairs? Absolutely, Moony," Sirius offers his friend a kind smile, which Lily doesn't think she's ever seen on his face before. "C'mon, let's go."

Remus stands up, smiling kindly at Lily, and then places one arm around Sirius's shoulder and the other one around Peter's. James, arms crossed and his expression thoughtful, smiles and waves the three of them goodnight. Once his three friends are gone, he glances at Lily, who is now watching the crackling fire in the chimney with a thoughtful expression.

"Uh, I think I should go to bed, too," he says quietly. "It's been a long day. And night."

"Yes, me too," she answers. She bites her lip and then whispers, "Potter?"

"Huh?"

"I'm glad you three take such good care of Remus. I mean it."

James smiles, but shrugs his shoulders modestly. "That's what friends are for, I guess."

"Not to such an extent, no," she ponders quietly, shaking her head. And then she smiles, too. "You'll let me know whenever you boys can't make it to class so that I can lend you my notes, all right? I don't want this to be the cause of your school average going down."

"All right, if you insist," the boy looks amused by now. Surprisingly enough, he remains silent for a few seconds, only to add a little later, "So, yes — goodnight, Lily."

"Goodnight, James."

The boy grins and trots happily upstairs. Lily observes him with a more peaceful expression, and then picks up her book and places it under her arm, still slightly worried about Remus and what the Marauders had just revealed to her. She is going to be true to her word, of course — she most definitely won't tell a soul about what has happened, and she will make sure to help the boys out as much as she can. She still can't understand what made James look so thrilled only a few seconds ago, though — and it isn't until she's about to close the door to the fourth year female dormitory when it strikes her.

She's never called James by his first name before.

tadaah. sorry for the massive amount of (platonic) remus/lily there, i just love their friendship so much. so yes – hope you enjoyed it and please let me know what you think via review! chapter five should be up soon.

-cluelessclown.