I slept for a long time, but I must not have stirred much because every twenty minutes or so, I could feel Sookie nearby. There was no way for her to know if I was still present or not, so I made an effort to breathe when I was awake. I hated to worry her so, but I was desperately tired.

I heard Pam asking Sookie to stay with me, but she didn't say anything at all. I couldn't tell if she nodded, or smiled or shook her head no. I began to worry a little that she was here because she felt obligated. The last thing that I wanted was for her to be with me out of a sense of self-preservation or obligation. I felt Pam nearby suddenly, and she was whispering in my ear in Swedish.

"She loves you, but she is afraid. I will remind her of what you have done for her and show her that you have always kept her best interests at heart. I want you to find love Eric. I like you better when you're happy. Please be here when I get back."

I appreciated Pam trying to help me and Sookie solidify our relationship, but she seemed to be making it worse. Sookie was still upset about our pledging marriage in front of Victor Madden. I wished that she would understand, I didn't have time to consult with her. He was coming to take her to Las Vegas with him. The only option that I had was to declare that she couldn't leave because she was my wife, and I wasn't allowing it.

I couldn't wait to be well so that I could explain everything to her.

I drifted off again briefly, but felt her take my hand. She kissed me softly and I felt my chest swell again. I really needed to tell her that I loved her and whatever happened, happened.

"Eric, I really could use a wink, a smile, anything, just let me know that you're in there and that you're okay." I squeezed her hand as best I could to reassure her that I could hear her.

"Be okay, for me? I hate to admit it, but I can't imagine my life without you now. You just wormed your way in and---just don't die." She sounded so upset. I wanted to do everything in my power to reassure her. I struggled to talk as she climbed in the bed beside me. I felt her head on my shoulder and she held my hand up to her lips and kissed it.

"This will be the only time we are ever together in the daytime, my love."

I wanted to tell her that if she stayed with me, I would make it so that we could be together forever. I took a deep, unnecessary breath so that she would pay attention and with great effort told her that I loved her. I felt her heart jump, and knew that she was very surprised, both by my declaration, as well as my ability to speak. I drifted back to sleep, happy that even if I died today, she knew that I loved her.

I awoke early in the evening. Pam was curled in a chair. When she saw me lift my eyelids, she moved very quickly towards me.

"Are you all right?"

I whispered back, "Getting there. What would help me is my mother's blood. Do you remember what I told you about the box?" She nodded and I was so proud that she had an excellent memory. "If you could get it, I'll ask Sookie if she would consider giving me blood."

"Does she love you enough for it to work?" Pam had her doubts. I had to admit, I had my doubts as well. Sookie hadn't been very forthcoming with her feelings, but she'd tried to tell me something at the Langley Hotel and I'd interrupted her. I assumed that she was about to tell me that she loved me.

"Wake her and ask her."

Pam shook Sookie. She groaned, but did not stir. I couldn't move very easily so Pam stroked Sookie's cheek and said her name. Sookie rolled over in her sleep and let out a little snort. I smiled.

"Just have the nurse draw her blood, she probably won't mind. We're married for God's sake." Within half an hour, a nurse, who'd also attempted to wake Sookie, had her blood in a vial and handed it to Pam. Pam was then to take it to Ravenwood, mix it with my mother's blood and recite a scripture that Meshra had inscribed on a papyrus. She would bring the blood to me and if Sookie really and truly loved me, she would drink from the vial and save my life. I couldn't tell her anything at all about the process or it would not work. The enchantment worked solely on the faith of love, not coercion. Pam pushed the hair from my eyes, kissed me on the forehead and promised that she would return soon.

I awoke to Sookie telling me that she would be right over in the bathroom. Her mood had changed dramatically since I'd told her I loved her. I would tell her every day of our lives if she would let me. She mentioned that there would be visitors. Pam had arranged for my subordinates to donate blood to me to help me recover. What I really needed was the blood that I'd won from my mother. My mother's blood would heal me faster than any of the blood available at this hospital regardless of who donated it. There wasn't a vampire in the western hemisphere older than my mother, and she'd given me blood to use in an emergency. I believed with all of my heart that this qualified. I needed to be mobile and upright if I was going to protect Sookie. Sookie was brushing my hair. I loved her for it. She wanted me to look my best, even as I lay dying. I wished I could smile so that she would know that I was proud of her.

De Castro and Victor Madden came in. I was genuinely surprised, but happy that Sookie was here so that they could see that she and I were a couple. This would negate any and all claims that Quinn could submit. My brave girl had saved us both.

I felt de Castro slip a signet ring onto my finger. So, he was marking me as his property. I would lose it as soon as I could. I didn't need his protection and while he may have thought this was a grand gesture, I was more vampire than he would ever be. I was disgusted that he would try to lay claim to me.

One after the other, vampires came in and paid tribute. I would be a repository for their weak blood, and I could feel myself absorbing their experiences as well as traces of their weaknesses and attributes. I was glad Pam was managing the queue, weaker vampires would be weeded out, and I would not have to take on their insecurities and failings. I hated to be a snob, but I needed my mother's blood. And then Bill Compton came in.

Thor knows I hated that guy. I found him boring, shabby and utterly American. I couldn't stand his face, nor his voice and I especially couldn't tolerate the fact that he raped my wife. I would send him to South America or perhaps Poland, or China. He began talking, and I felt my soul draining away. How I hated him.

I detected that Sookie picked up on my emotions because she was sending him away. Good girl. He declared that he wasn't sorry that this had happened to me and that I had taken her from him. He'd raped her! He didn't deserve her. In my most desperate state, I would never, ever harm her. He was such a self-righteous pig. I raised my eyelids to let Sookie know that I was disgusted by him. When he kissed her forehead, I could have flown off the bed and torn his throat out.

I had a burst of energy then, probably from Thalia's blood, Odin bless her, and when Sookie approached me, I lifted my arms to her. I was glad that I could hold her in my arms. She began crying immediately, and I shushed her. My poor Angel had been through so much since she'd met me.

"Sookie," I was stunned by how craggy my voice sounded, but I seemed to be on the mend. I said a silent thank you to Odin that I had someone to live for. I called Pam over and told her that I thought Sookie might be ready, that she might love me. She raised her eyebrow and looked at Sookie. Pam understood that I was going to ask Sookie to drink from the vial with me, thereby joining us together permanently. I sent Pam out to perform the second to last step of the blood ritual. I didn't know how to explain to Sookie that there would be side effects; I didn't know what they were. I only knew that I had to protect her and I needed to be well to do that. I could tell that she was still upset about Bill Compton's visit.

"I know that Bill is unhappy and jealous but to call our relationship a sham is too much."

"He has heard it from the tiger that I did not consult with you before announcing our changed relationship." I was certain that Bill knew that I had asked Sookie to pledge to keep her out of de Castro's hands. His assumption was that I was merely trying to protect my position as Sheriff. The truth was, I didn't care if I wasn't Sheriff, some things were more important. I kissed the top of her head while she sat quietly with me, but I was curious about why she was so upset about our pledging.

"Lover, why does it bother you so, when someone calls you Mrs. Northman?" Are you that unhappy with me?" I hated to sound insecure. I hated the vulnerability of being in love. But I didn't understand what I could do to make her happy.

I've told you before, I'm unhappy with how you handled it. I want to be consulted about decisions that affect me."

"There wasn't time to consult you. Victor Madden showed up in Shreveport and I had to act fast. He came here to take you; to take you away from me and I couldn't allow it. I knew you would hate that. Yes, I was selfish, but I'm not sorry." I wasn't the least bit sorry. She would be in Las Vegas right now, interrogating dealers about missing poker chips and cheating vendors. Her life would not belong to her, and I would probably never see her again. I hoped to change the subject. I wanted her to come and live with me in Shreveport. I hoped that by giving her Ravenwood, that would sweeten the deal, but Sookie could be headstrong.

"My love, what did you think of my home?"

" Um, what I saw was lovely." I detected contempt and sarcasm in her voice.

" It's yours." I smiled at her, meaning for this to be a significant moment, but she tended to react to everything in the exact opposite way that I wanted.

"I don't know what you're playing at Eric, but I don't need a house, I have a house. And it's in Bon Temps, not Shreveport."

"I want you to live with me. I want us to be a proper couple, husband and wife…Have I said something wrong?" I wasn't sure why she was getting angry and I was too tired to argue with her about it. She could exasperate me to no end sometimes and I didn't ever know if it was pride that kept her from just accepting me, or if I'd just misjudged her and she truly did see me as a generous friend. I began to wonder if I'd made the right decision about pursuing her. I felt doubt creeping in again, and I had to wonder why I couldn't find a woman who would take me as I am.

"Listen Eric, my Gran taught me that if a man is in an all-fired hurry to get you to marry and settle down, that that's a good reason to put the brakes on and slow things down. What's got you in the marrying mood?"

I didn't respond to her. This was no mood. I'd wanted her for years and she was either being willfully blind to it, or she wasn't very smart. At that moment, I wanted her to go away. I was embarrassed that I had laid my heart out and she was giving it back, so to speak. I wanted to be alone more than I've ever wanted anything in my life. I felt my jaw clench and I wished that I had died by the roadside. I was sick of the unfairness of it. I had worked so hard to show her that I loved her, and she ignored it all; every gesture, every gift, every kindness, yet Bill, Quinn and even Sam Merlotte got a pass.

"You're not thinking clearly, you don't want me in Shreveport with you."

"I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want you there. I need to be able to protect you." I said it quietly because I was feeling defeated. I'd never been this angry with her since I'd met her, and I feared that I would say something hurtful if she didn't leave.

"Like when Lochlan and Neave took me?"

When she said this, it was as if she'd plunged a dagger into my heart. She blamed me still. I looked at her, and she knew. She couldn't take back what she said, and she knew then that she'd wounded me. I glared at her and as she tried to climb into the bed beside me, I turned away from her.

"Sookie, I'm really tired. Can we agree to talk about these things some other time?" I made up my mind then that I was finished pursuing her. She and I would never be past this point in our relationship. She blamed me for her being tortured, and I was hurt by her refusal to acknowledge my feelings. We were doomed. She stood behind me, watching me. I couldn't look at her. I was on the verge of hating her for not wanting me. I knew it was ridiculous even as I felt it, but I couldn't help myself.

"Did you mean it when you said you love me? Or were you just saying that out of gratitude?"

"Why are you doing this?" I hadn't ever known Sookie to have a vengeful streak, but it felt as if now that she had me in a weak spot, she was digging in further. This was everything I hated about being in love. No one in the world could hurt me, except her and she was enjoying this. My abdomen knotted, and I wanted to vomit for the first time in an eon. I felt Pam coming up the elevator, so when she knocked, I told her to go away. Sookie saw that a tear had run down my cheek. I didn't want her to know that she'd upset me so, but I was too emotionally fatigued to care. It was my own fault that she had the idea that nothing could ever hurt me, but she was wrong.

"Has something changed, Master Eric?" Pam never referred to me as Master, but she knew when she saw my expression that I was desperately unhappy. I growled low in my throat. I was facing the only women I'd ever loved and neither of them wanted me. I'd rejected the only woman who did. Sookie came around to the other side of the bed and looked into my eyes. She kissed the blood trail and I felt her trying to push me emotionally. I was so upset with her and myself that I couldn't stand it.

"Just rest, I wasn't trying to hurt you." She kissed me, but I refused to kiss her back. She whispered that she loved me. I felt my jaw clench again. I'd been dying to hear her say that she loved me, and it was like this. I turned away from her and bit my lip.

Sookie and Pam left the room. Sookie said that she was going for a walk to get some air. I decided that I would release her when she got back. If she felt stuck, or put upon or wanted to blame me, that was fine, but I didn't have to put up with it. Maybe she did need to work for de Castro so that she could appreciate everything I'd done for her. I had never considered her a brat before, but I was starting to think that she was a little too spoiled for her own good. I saw my cell phone on the bedside table and thought about calling Allison. She had always been there for me. She would listen to me without comment and only give advice when I asked for it. I reached for the phone, dialed her number, but hung up when I realized that I was using her. She didn't deserve that. She was in love with me and I would be abusing that. I closed the phone and set it down on the table. This was my own mess, and I'd have to fix it.

Pam came in and she looked very upset. I suspected that she'd given Sookie a piece of her mind.

"Are you sure she's the one you want to be bonded to permanently? She doesn't appreciate you in the slightest bit. You should send her away and see how she likes fending for herself."

"I was considering that before you came in actually. Pam, I need to ask something of you. As you know, my mother's blood requires that I mix it with the blood of someone who loves me. If Sookie does not love me in that way, do you love me enough that you would give me your blood and allow me to get better."

"Of course I do, you know that I love you. I would die for you, Eric. You've been a wonderful maker."

"I just meant the whole thing with Marius, do you hold that against me still?"

She looked down when I said my brother's name. I knew that they still had feelings for each other, but I feared that Pam was letting time soften her stance against him. I had forgiven him, sure, but what he'd done to her was unacceptable.

"I never held it against you, Eric, I was angry at you because Marius wasn't there for me to be angry at. I do still love him; I suppose I always will. I'm sorry that I wasn't in love with you. You deserve to be with someone who loves you and only you. That's why I'm not sure Sookie is right for you. She is insisting on knowing why you didn't come to her aid. It's really immature of her to hold it against you most of all. Where was Jason for that matter? Where was Niall? You're the one who loves her and she blames you. That infuriates me to no end."

"Yeah, I know. Niall always shows up at the very last moment, when all the danger has passed. I'm going to release her from our bond. She will only resent me further if I keep her tied to me. She doesn't want a relationship with me and I won't keep her."

"I'm so sorry, I can feel how much you love this girl, and my heart is breaking for you. Eric, I'm so very sorry." Pam kissed me, and went to the door. We both felt Sookie approaching.

"I know you weren't expecting me back so soon..." she was holding a calla lily, the flower of death. How appropriate, considering our relationship was dying. Pam saw it and rolled her eyes. Of all the flowers in the conservatory…I refused to look at her.

"I have something I'd like to say, Pam if you'd excuse us please."

"I'm not going anywhere. He doesn't want to hear what you have to say. I have advised him to release you and I think that he has finally agreed with me." I ignored Sookie for the first time in our relationship. I thought about going back home to Sweden permanently. If the Vampire Council determined that I'd committed fraud, I would lose nearly everything. I would leave before they'd had a chance to make a decision either way.

"Eric, is this true?' She was addressing me directly, but I was resolute. I would have no further romantic dealings with her.

"I'm releasing you from your pledge to me. I'm sorry that I forced you into a marriage that you weren't ready for. You are free to see whomever you like. I only need you to sign papers for the Vampire Council declaring that you and I are no longer wed. I'll have them sent to your home. I've arranged transportation back to Bon Temps for you, and you can expect a payment for your lost wages."

"Eric, what are you saying? No longer wed? Wait, what is this? What are you saying? Are you dumping me? That's it? Can't we just talk? I made a mistake. I don't know how you feel about me and why you're so interested in keeping me tied to you. I just want to talk. I've been having nightmares. I get closer and closer to dying each time and you're never there. I'm so afraid that you won't ever be there. Pam, please leave."

I knew that Pam might be considering leaving us alone to work this out, but as far as I was concerned, there was nothing to work out.

I turned to Pam and said clearly, so that Sookie would know that I was serious, "As your maker, I command you to stay here in this room." I didn't have the strength to face her alone. I wouldn't be able to tolerate her badgering me about the fairy ordeal. I would blurt out that she was the reason her cousin was almost killed. As it was the poor child was mute and may never speak again.

"Fine, I don't care if she does hear me. I am here because I love you, and

I just want to understand your motives. Eric, you're making a mistake."

"You won't be the last." I thought of Allison then and wondered if I could convince myself to be with someone I didn't love. Sookie tried to approach me, but I gestured to Pam faster than Sookie could see. Pam blocked her path. I turned my head so that I wouldn't have to look at her.

"Don't do this, don't listen to her. She's wrong. You're wrong about me. I'm not taking for granted all the things that you have done for me. I just want to explain why I'm being so cautious. Eric, please…?" I'd often wondered why she was being so very hesitant in our relationship, but it was probably too late for any explanation that she could give me. Frankly, I was surprised that she wasn't relieved that I had released her. I thought she'd wanted me to let her go. I thought she wanted to be away from me. I was so confused by her behavior. She stared down at the calla lily. I watched her carefully. I'd been through so much to be with her, and this was what I got in return. She hadn't looked up to see that I was looking at her. I loved her. I genuinely, loved this woman and she couldn't see it. She bent over and picked up the lily at her feet.

"Why can't you just tell me what I am to you? Why didn't you come for me? If you loved me, you would have been there. Do you love me? Even a little bit? Bill was there."

"Bill was there because I sent him there!" I'd come undone. I saw her eyes go wide. I had never yelled at her before. She looked panicked, but I was enraged. She stared at me for a few moments. My fangs had run out and I'd ripped the IV out accidentally.

"You'll never know how sorry I am that we ended this way." She stood where she was with the lily in her hand and tried to toss it towards me. Pam caught it and crushed it in her hand. The look of hurt on Sookie's face hurt me too, and I thought that maybe Pam had gone a little too far. She cried out then, and ran from my room.

"Well, that's over."

"Yeah." I stared down at the bloodstain on the sheet. Pam had asked the nurse to draw blood from Sookie for me, and Pam had already begun the ritual. If I didn't complete it, Meshra's blood would be useless to me, and I'd have to go back to her and tell her that I'd squandered it. I'd been so sure that Sookie was the one. "Pam, I may have to try anyway. You've already mixed her blood with Meshra's. I don't have a choice, it's either take a chance that Sookie loves me enough as a friend that the spell will work, or I let it go and spend a year convalescing."

"You sent her away, she has to knowingly and willingly consume the blood, then state out loud that she loves you. The directions were very specific. I'm sorry, I fear that she will let you down, Eric." Pam fidgeted with the fringe on her sweater, she never fidgeted, and I became concerned.

"Is there something else? Something in the incantation that I don't know about?"

"No, no. Just that if she were to come back here, which I don't think that she will at this point, you'll be bonded to her for the rest of her life. Which means, I'll be bonded to her for the rest of her life. I'm not sure that's something that I want. The downside is if she stays away, well, you'll be a miserable son-of-a-bitch for God knows how long until you get over her. I just can't see a win-win situation here."

"I had her blood last night, I can feel that she is heartbroken. I don't understand her. Why would she be so sad if this is what she wanted? Pam, I have to tell you. I'm so confused by her. What is it with you women?"

"She wants you to sweep her off her feet. She wants romance and all of that impractical love business. I tried to explain to her that that's not your style."

"God, my chest hurts, Pam." I clutched at my chest and wondered why she would be sad about us breaking up. This had to be Sookie's grief. I was surprised by the pain. I thought she would be relieved to be free. I felt blood tears begin to stream down my cheeks as they had when she was being tortured. I wiped my face quickly, but couldn't keep up. Pam brought me a warm washcloth and I wiped my face. I was desperately sad suddenly. My eyes misted over and I couldn't see. I wanted to scream from the dull throb in my chest.

"You don't look well. Should I get Dr. Armatrading?"

"No, I'm going to have to get her to come back. I have to go through with this process even if it's not for her sake. I want to go home to Sweden, and I can't spend the next year trying to recover. Will you give me enough blood that I can go looking for her?"

"Are you sure that's what you want to do? I would come to Sweden with you. I would help you recover." The pain intensified suddenly and I was overwhelmed.

"I'm sure, Pam. This pain doesn't make any sense. If she didn't love me, I wouldn't feel this badly. Oh God, this is terrible. She has to be in love with me. Why won't she just say it? I will go after her and get her to see reason, even if it is temporary. It would be so much simpler if I could glamour her."

" I hate relying on humans for anything, they are so unpredictable."

"Yes, yes they are. The one thing I can count on with Sookie is that she will do the exact opposite of what I've come to expect. She makes me so angry, Pam. I never know if I want to strangle her or kiss her." The pain lessened a little, and I could see again.

"That's messed up. That's really, truly messed the hell up." She crossed the room and sat down on the edge of my bed. I hadn't had Pam's blood in decades, and this would be an awkward exchange. I remembered what it had been like when we were first together. She enjoyed it when I held her hair aside, kissed her neck slowly then bit down. So much had passed between us since then. And there was the Marius thing. She realized that I was uncomfortable, so she tried her best to make it as business like as she could. I didn't look in her eyes as she opened her blouse. She leaned forward and kissed me. I hadn't kissed Pam like this in a very long time.

"No matter what happens, Eric. You are loved. Do you hear me?"

I nodded and caressed her cheek. Pam was rarely sweet, so it was a genuine pleasure for me when she was. She turned and leaned her back against my chest. I pushed her hair aside and kissed her neck. She moaned softly. I suspected that she hadn't had anyone take blood from her in a long time. It was so pleasurable, I couldn't imagine why more vampires didn't do it, except that the drinker had a measure of control over you. That was why being with Sookie was so difficult for me. She'd had so much of my blood, that she owned a huge part of my heart for the rest of her life.

I bit down and felt Pam's cold blood slowly pool in my mouth. It was not as I'd remembered, probably because she'd been living on the blood substitute for the last six years. I didn't want to insult her, so I continued drinking. I could feel that she was becoming aroused. I rubbed her shoulders while I drank from her. She closed her eyes, probably thinking of Marius. I stopped for a moment. I thought I felt Sookie coming, but I was enjoying Pam's blood so much that I wasn't sure. The door flew open.

"No, I don't accept this. I don't want this. You don't want this." She gasped, and I felt her jealousy rising up into her chest. It would be good for her to feel a little of the rejection that I was feeling. I was relieved that she'd come back. It meant that she did love me and that I wouldn't have to go looking for her to get her to drink Meshra's blood. I only had to convince her that it was the right thing to do. I took a deep drink from Pam and watched Sookie getting more and more jealous. She looked at me. Pam moaned with pleasure. Sookie surprised me by pulling her sweater over her head.

"Eric," I wasn't sure where she was going with this strip tease. I looked at her curiously. She unbuttoned and unzipped her jeans, Pam's fangs came out; she was already turned on by me drinking from her, the sight of Sookie nearly naked was intriguing us both.

"I'm all yours, all you have to do is ask." I wondered if that extended to me asking her to drink blood from a creature that she didn't know based on my word alone. She had taken her bra off, and I wanted to touch her. I was so easy. She knew that all she had to do was get me turned on. Sookie and I had never had any problems sexually. Sex was the one subject where we understood each other perfectly. She moved her hips slowly and rhythmically as she danced around my hospital room. I stopped drinking from Pam so that I wouldn't hurt her. Pam began watching Sookie intently too.

She danced with a bottle of blood substitute, and smeared it all over herself. She was making it next to impossible for me to resist her, even as angry as I had been. She circled her lips with blood, and I wanted to take her mouth. I thought of the night that she and I had made love on her back porch. She'd bitten my lip accidentally and it drove me wild. I wanted her so badly that I was willing to forgive her for almost everything.

"I love you, and you want me…I want you just as much. Just ask, Eric. Ask me to come to you."

She'd finally said it. She loved me. And this time, I believed her. I could feel her heart surging when she said the words. She would be mine if I asked. It was hard to trust her; she'd let me down before. I licked my lips. Her lips were so red with blood. Pam arched her back towards me. She backed into me, and I felt myself stiffening.

"Eric, my lover, my husband. Ask her to go. Ask her to go and I'll come to you. I need you, now. You know my blood is sweet and warm, just like you like it. "

Sookie had called me her husband. Was it possible that she wanted us to work?

"Please leave us, Pam. Let me have my husband to myself. "Now, Pam, he needs me. Don't you, baby?"

Pam got up to leave and I heard her threaten Sookie. I was thoroughly impressed by her courage and what she was doing with her hips. Pam asked if she should leave Meshra's blood. I told her yes, I knew that I'd be able to convince Sookie to drink it. I couldn't look away from her, I felt as if I'd been glamoured and I wondered if fairies had that capability. I told Pam to lock the door on her way out. As she left, I hoped she wouldn't be too mad at me. I had a chance with the woman that I loved if I was wiling to risk it one last time. Pam hesitated for a minute, left me the box with Meshra's blood, then closed the door behind her. Sookie looked at me with her arms covering her chest. My chest warmed as if my dead heart were melting.

"I love you, Eric Northman. You know what I want to hear. Just ask me to come to you and I will be yours forever, I promise." She lifted her arms and showed me her breasts. She knew that her breasts were my favorite. I didn't want to get hurt again, but I had to risk it. I raised my hand and asked her to come to me. I pulled her to me, and she straddled my waist. I nuzzled her neck. I wanted to believe that it could be this easy. I needed to believe that it was as simple as asking, but nothing in my life had ever been that simple. Pam said that all Sookie wanted was for me to sweep her off her feet. I would make a concerted effort.

"Eric, you know what I want to hear." I really wasn't sure if she wanted me to tell her why I hadn't rescued her, or if she was merely asking me to tell her that I loved her. I ran my tongue from her collarbone to her left ear and whispered softly.

"I love you, Sookie" She shivered then, and she rocked her hips gently as if we were making love. I kissed her breasts, lingering over them with my fangs. She begged me to take her blood, but I needed to know that she was serious. I told her it would be soon. As her pulse quickened, I became more aroused. She took my left ring finger into her mouth and sucked on it. She wanted me to know that she was okay with our marriage. I took her ring finger into my mouth. I'd intended to give her a two-carat diamond that I'd purchased in Las Vegas, but when she broke up with me, I'd thrown it into my lake at Ravenwood. We stared at each other. I smiled at her, and she smiled at me. I rolled her over and swatted her bottom for being such a brat. She giggled, and I thought we might just be okay.

"You bad, bad girl."

"You love that about me."

"I do love that about you. I love everything about you." I kissed her fingers and her palm. I licked her wrist where she'd bitten it giving me blood so that it would heal sooner.

"You need to feed, Eric, take it from me."

"I want you. I want all of you, but you need to know that you are everything to me. I don't take that lightly. If you really do want out, I will understand. Being with me is not going to be an easy life for you. I don't want you to hate me in 20 years that you were never able to have my child. That I can't ever take you on picnics and to the beach and all those other things that I want for you. I don't want you to catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and see how time has changed you, but not me. My beloved, I can't do that to you if I know that there is the slightest chance that you will hate me for it."

"We will work some things out. Yes, my life will be different, we can picnic at night under the stars, I've never been to the beach so I don't care. It will be different, but it will never be dull and that would be worse for me. Eric, I nearly lost you, and that was scarier to me than anything that you are talking about. I don't even know if I want children. But I do know this; I've never loved anyone the way that I love you. I've never wanted another man so completely as the way that I want you." She kissed me so tenderly that I knew without a doubt that she loved me. I caressed her cheek and kissed her deeply. I stared into her eyes. I couldn't believe how close we'd come to losing each other. "My wife." I was so proud that she was mine. I could feel how happy she was. I sat up and opened the box where I kept Meshra's blood. She sat up next to me. I looked inside; I kept Meshra's wedding ring, the vial of her blood, and things of great importance to me that I'd collected over the years. I took her left hand in mine and I hoped that she would not refuse me.

"If you would care to be Mrs. Northman in the eyes of the great state of Louisiana, as well as the rest of the world, I would be honored if you would wear this ring." When she nodded and smiled up at me, I smiled back at her.

"Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!" I kissed her, slowly at first, but I wanted her with every fiber of my being. I felt myself becoming aroused, and I rolled onto my back.

"Make love to me, Sookie." She slipped her panties off and we struggled to get my thin hospital pants off. I lowered the bed so that she would have an easier time taking all of me. She slid up to my mouth and I kissed her. I tried not to bite her lip but I was so hungry for her. She pulled my hair, and I sat up to kiss her breasts. I was so turned on by her that I could hardly contain myself. She took me into her hand and guided me inside her. I held her up and she slid down the length of me. I caressed her back and kissed her everywhere I could get my mouth. I moaned into her mouth and she shivered. I knew that she could feel everything that I was feeling. I lifted my hips to get all of myself into her. I felt her getting ready to come. I asked to taste her, and she told me that I could have her anytime I wanted. She sped up and I kissed her neck.

"Baby, take as much as you need." I stared up at her. I couldn't believe that she and I might be able to make this work.

" I can make this so good for you that you will beg me to bite you every night."

"What do you mean?"

"The stronger our love, and the more frequently we exchange blood, the less it hurts for you. I am becoming a part of you and you a part of me." I hadn't offered myself to anyone in centuries. I was excited by the possibilities before us.

"Then bite me, love." She touched my fangs, then ran her tongue over them. I sat up, licked her neck to ease some of the pain and was about to bite down when she moaned.

"Yes, baby, right there." I stared up at her and she had her eyes closed waiting for me. I smiled and whispered, "I love this, I love that you are mine and that I can have you every night if I like." She had no idea how very close we had come to losing each other. I would never take her for granted again. I felt her shivering in my arms and I held her gently. I sank my fangs into her skin and sucked while she held me. She was about to have me.

I retracted my fangs so that I could watch her. "Take me, Sookie." I slipped my fangs in again and drank deeply. I didn't think I'd ever get to enjoy this again. She moaned again, then bit my neck. When she bit my neck, I felt myself let go inside of her. I rocked her on my lap while she shook, and came in my arms. She fell onto me and pulled the sheet up. I wanted to stare at her naked. She was so spectacular, and she was all mine.

"No. Don't cover yourself, you're beautiful."

"I'm also cold, baby."

I wrapped her in the sheet and hospital blanket. I wondered what she was thinking as I stared at her. She seemed exhausted, so I didn't bother her. She rolled over and began playing with my hair. "So, Mr. Northman, if you're so sure you want to marry me officially, how about tonight?" I was glad that she was eager to marry me; it would make it easier to protect her if she was living with me at Ravenwood, but I couldn't tolerate the idea that I would be in a wheelchair when I married her in what she considered an official ceremony. I had to laugh at that because the state marriage was the one that was for show.

"Not until I can stand beside you without being held up. There is time for that. No one who would harm us knows where we are. We're safe."

"Eric, do you have any idea who attacked you?"

I gritted my teeth. I hated the idea that I'd been tricked so easily. I had let my love for Sookie cloud my judgment. I told her that I didn't want to talk about it and I was insistent. I would find the culprit who sent those backwater hicks after me, but I would use vampire methods and punish the person responsible myself.

She told me that she'd like to go out for a bit when the sun came up. I agreed after making sure that she would be protected. I told Bobby in Russian that he should add Sookie as an authorized user to my credit cards. I told him to use my card, to which he had power of attorney, to purchase Sookie a convertible as a wedding gift from me. He grumbled a little that I was calling so early, but I reminded him that I couldn't exactly call at what he considered a reasonable hour.

I contacted Natalia and asked her to arrange to have toiletries placed in my bathroom for Sookie, including a robe, toothbrush and a vanity set. I closed my phone and laid it on the table.

I closed my mind, a state that Sookie called down time. Vampires can hear sounds that humans cannot hear. It is said that OM is the sound the universe made the moment it was created. We hear the results. I can concentrate and hear the sigh of plants as they release oxygen into the atmosphere. I relaxed my body and listened to the sound of the planet's humming magnetism. I drifted into the quiet space where I heard Sookie's heartbeat, blending with the sounds of the other humans here. I could pick out the subtle pattern of her heart and distinguish it from all the others. I focused on that sound and she slid her hand over my chest. It took me a minute to return from my meditative space, I went deep inside of myself in order to rest. I turned my head slowly and looked at her. I had to ask once more, because this was critical to my survival.

"Are you really mine, Sookie? Really and truly?" If she wasn't serious, Meshra's blood would be useless.

"Yes, Eric. Really and truly for all time."

"Then I'd like to ask that you not continue to see Quinn." She sat up then, and I could see that she wanted me to pay attention.

"I had no intention of ever seeing Quinn again. If you're sure that this marriage is what you want and you're not just doing this to protect me from de Castro, then I swear to you on my life that I won't see him, or any other man again. This isn't a business arrangement for me, I happen to love you, Eric."

"It has been a very long time since…." I fudged the truth a little because she didn't need to know about Allison. I had made a mistake and I would pay for it if I revealed that I technically had been dating someone else while we'd been separated. I knew that I should be honest with Sookie, but I truly believed that we would both be better off if I just forgot that Allison Humphrey existed. At some point, I would have to ask Allison to not say anything to Sookie, because I would probably run into her at Vampire functions. I didn't want Sookie to find out from Allison that we'd been seeing each other for a few months and that we'd very nearly consummated our relationship. Sookie wouldn't understand what Allison meant to me.

"Do you trust me, Sookie?"

"Yes, Eric, I trust you with my life."

I was glad, and surprised that she'd phrased it that way. She very well may have been trusting me with her life. For all I knew, Meshra's blood was strong enough to kill her with one sip. As it was, my mother had only given her blood to Fallon and Marius. I hadn't had it because the possibility of side effects troubled me. Meshra had warned us all that once we'd ingested her blood, we had to be very discriminate about who we gave our blood to. She mentioned a certain life force that was too dangerous to be available to the vampire community at large. I wondered for the thousandth time what my mother was exactly. She'd said she was something like an angel trapped in a human form, made vampire by a diseased half dead witch.

I swirled Meshra's blood to ensure that I had all of our blood mixed together. I was surprised that Sookie didn't ask why the blood was black. I would have to explain that my mother's blood is black and not red like the rest of ours which meant I would be breaking one of the rules of the enchantment.

"Would you take one drink of this for me if I asked you to?"

"May I ask what I'm drinking or is that not okay?"

"I can't tell you anything at all right now. But I swear that I will. If you trust me." I saw her eyebrow shoot up slightly and I realized that she was thinking about the fairies. I would murder every one of them if I had to. I needed her to trust me, I needed her to finish this process with me. To my relief, she nodded and I took the stopper off, tilted it to her lips and gave her a healthy drink. When she had swallowed, I kissed her and asked if she loved me.

"With all of my heart. Eric, what is this about?"

"You have saved me." I drank the rest of Meshra's blood and felt my throat tighten. Fallon told me that it was the first time she didn't have a problem keeping blood down, but Meshra insisted that Fallon would go insane if she had a steady diet of her blood. I was nervous about the side effects, but Marius seemed okay.

I felt Sookie's hand trailing down my chest, stomach and lower. She was ready for me again. I kissed her, believing for the first time that we would be okay.

"I just love you, Eric."
"I love you too, Sookie."