A few minutes after I reached the edge of court, checking the wards, Di- Guardian Belikov appeared. With his hands in his pockets he stood leaning against a tree, staring at me. But still I continued my rounds, trying to keep my mind from wandering to him, and failing, miserably.

"Tasha will be leaving court soon." I allowed myself to look over at him as he spoke. "That's why she was at my door."

"You don't have to explain anything to me Guardian Belikov. We're all allowed personal lives." With all the wards checked I stuck my hands into my pockets and made my way back to the gate. Keeping my gaze trained on the ground, I stepped past him only to be stopped.

"Roza." His voice stopped me dead in my tracks, bringing back painfully beautiful memories, mainly, the cabin. "Have I done something to upset you?"

"No," keeping my voice level I allowed myself to stare up into those gorgeous brown eyes that had once held so much love for me, but now only caused me pain. A few strands of his hair had escaped the pony tail, flittering in front of his face in the wind as his eyes bore into my own, trying to see into my heart. But, for once all my walls were up, hiding the pain I felt.

"Why are you calling me Guardian Belikov then?" His eye brows scrunched together, a scowl ever evident on his face.

"Are you seriously asking me this?" Does "love fades, mine has" ring any bells Dimitri? "Or do you just miss me calling you comrade?" Good ole Rose, always covering up feelings with humor.

"I don't understand Roza." I barely hid my flinch at the use of my Russian name before stepping further away from him with a sigh.

"You never do." Dejected, I turned back around continuing my walk back to the guard post. Sitting down in the desk chair, I took a quick scan of the room and closed my eyes, meditating for the rest of my shift.

A few hours later as I was walking towards Lissa's apartment I passed Dimitri, who was sitting on a bench, with his head in his hands. Against ever wish in my body I sat down next to him. Neither of us talked, just sat staring at the ground.

"I can't give you what you want Rose." We made eye contact and what I saw took my breath away. Dimitri's eyes held so much anguish, so much…regret, it seemed to break my heart even more. "I can't give you a normal life, I can't give you happiness…I-I can't even give you love. Something you deserve… I-I just can't." A tear slid down my cheek, onto the brown stained wood of the bench.

"Love doesn't just disappear Dimitri… It just doesn't." His eyes brightened the tiniest bit as I finally caved and called him by his first name, but just as quickly as it appeared, it vanished. "Especially not what we had, I won't give up on you."

"You have Adrian. He can give you what you want Rose."

"Don't tell me what I want!" I shouted, finally losing it. Everything I had been feeling for the past year had rose to the top and was now boiling over. Every ounce of pain, either felt by Lissa or I, was finally taking its toll. "I can't take this anymore! I don't want to feel like I'm dying every shitty second of my life! I'm done! I just want to be happy… is that too damn much to ask?" By the end of my rant I was sobbing hysterically as Dimitri just sat there, watching.

"I'm sorry." I dropped my head, defeated. With what was left of my dignity, I stood up and looked over at Dimitri.

"No, I'm sorry. I guess I didn't save you…not all of you."

"Rose." Lissa shook me from my sleep.

As soon as I had left Dimitri, who had still been sitting on that damn bench, I had sprinted as fast as I could to Lissa's room, trying to keep myself from completely losing it. Before I had reached the door Lissa was standing in front of it and had grabbed me into a strong embrace before shoving ice cream and a comedy into my hands, leading me into her apartment. For the rest of the night we sat and talked about anything, anything that kept us off the subjects of love or him.

"Do we have to go? More importantly do I have to go?" The queen had summoned Lissa and I, she didn't give a reason why, to her quarters early this morning. Meaning she was going to have to deal with a grumpy over emotional tired Rose Hathaway. Not to mention Tasha and Christian were to be there also, meaning Dimitri would most likely be there too. "She hates me. I hate her; we should just stay away from each other. Not to mention I may or may not attempt to kill Dimitri."

"You won't kill him Rose. Now up, get showered and dressed. You have 30 minutes or I'll drag you there like this." Lissa was using her "princess" voice, not even I could say no to her then. Damn moroi princess. "I heard that!"

After showering and changing into clothes, which Liss had stashed here for moments like this, we both made our way across court. As we reached the entrance to the queens quarters Guardians swarmed around us, bowing to the princess and wishing us both a good morning. Amongst them was Guardian Tanner, remorse shot through my veins as I thought of , whom was still a strigoi. As if reading my thoughts he smiled weakly over at me before leading us into the room.

Queen Tatiana sat in a chair in the middle of the room, a couch and two chairs surrounding her. On the couch to the left sat Christian looking as smug as ever and on the other one sat Tasha looking as radiant as ever. Both of them stood as we entered the room, smiling warmly at us before the queen spoke.

"Good morning princess Dragomir," She smiled "sweetly" over at Lissa before scowling in my direction. "Guardian Hathaway." Lissa bowed while I stood stubbornly with my arms crossed. Thankfully all I got this time was a scowl from Lissa, Queen Bitch expected my hatred from the many other times she had summoned us.

"Good morning your majesty," Lissa shot a look over at me and sat down on the couch closest to Christian. Finally moving from my spot I quickly sat next to Lissa and prepared myself for the worst. Yet, before the queen could speak again the door opened and Dimitri strode into the room, bowing before the queen, Lissa and both Christian and Tasha, never once making eye contact with me.

"My apologies you majesty," Dimitri spoke, his voice as normal sounding as ever. The queen just smiled and waved him in.

"Take a seat Guradian Belikov so we may begin." I took a quick look around and mentally cursed, causing Lissa to look over at me, down at the couch and back up to Dimitri. She gulped.

"I think I will just stand," Dimitri looked calm as ever, as if he was just trying to make sure Lissa and I stayed comfortable, mainly Lissa.

"Nonsense, there is plenty of room next to Guardian Hathaway, sit." I cringed and slid as close as I could to Lissa without anyone noticing, as Dimitri sat down sticking close to the side of the couch. The queen smiled; pleased with the outcome, as if she could tell how much pain she was causing me. "Well now that we are all here, I have a proposition for all of you." I sat up a little straighter, actually eager to hear what she was saying for once. "Guardian Petrov has informed me that the school has lost quite a few teachers and would enjoy having someone there to help, and to teach anyone who happens to be like princess Dragomir."

"What about Leigh University your majesty? I thought we had agreed on Rose and I going to college?" Ah, this was the catch. The Queen hated the idea of Lissa going to a human college. I knew she would do anything to stop this. Stupid moroi bitch.

"Rose!"

"I'm allowed to my own thoughts Lissa, and you know it's true. I told you she wouldn't let you go."

"I know…but what if there are moroi at the school who are spirit users? We could help them Rose. There could be more shadow kissed like you!"

"Are you seriously going to give up college for this Liss? I thought this was your dream? Not teaching kids"

"I don't know what my dream is anymore."

"Well?" The queen asked, peeved by Lissa and I's "conversation".

"Will Rose be able to come with us?" Lissa asked, not even looking at me.

"Of course, they could always use more Guardians at the school." Great, just great, now I'm going to be a teacher too. "Along with Guardian Belikov, your old job is still available, as long as you aren't taking Lady Ozera's offer?" Offer? What offer?

Hello everyone:) Sorry it took me so long to update! I won't be able to do my once daily updating anymore! Most likely twice a week! I'm thinking every Tuesday and Saturday? Anyway thank you for reading and reviewing:)

Peace off!

~Bri

Disclaimer: Richelle Mead owns all people all!

Rose: "Hey, did you help come up with the plan to get us back? Because it was pretty good. Brute force and all that."
Dimitri: "You're complimenting me on that?"