I know it's been a while! I was just having so much fun writing How Do You Choose, but here's the next chapter for this story..it's short but there'll be more coming I promise. Hope you guys like it!
JJ hears her cell phone beep on her desk. She puts down the papers she was reading and looks at the small screen.
"You busy?" It was from Spencer.
"No, what's up?" she texts back before putting the phone down again and going back to her papers. She hears a knock and sees her friend standing at the doorway of her office.
"Well that was fast." she says with a small laugh. Spencer smiles and walks in, taking a seat on the chair across from JJ. "What are you doing here?"
JJ looks at her watch, 1pm in the afternoon. Spencer should be at work.
"You said you weren't busy." he mutters softly, leaning back in the chair.
JJ shakes her head, "I wasn't." she says, "Shouldn't you be at the office?"
Spencer leans over, looking at the picture frames on JJ's desk, "Day off." he says simply, not looking at JJ.
JJ nods, silence on her end. She was never a profiler, but she doesn't have to be to notice her friend's out of character behaviour. She knows Spencer doesn't miss work, and she knows it isn't just a day off. She had just finished talking to Penelope about a new case the team is working on just this morning. She watches as Spencer picks up the picture of her, Penelope and Emily.
"How's my godson?" the young man asks at a weak attempt for a conversation.
"He's great." JJ says, letting out a small sigh, "Spence, are you going to tell me what's going on?" It was her turn to lean back in her chair, crossing her arms.
"I just wanted to see how you were doing." Spencer says, finally looking up at her.
It was then that JJ notices her friend's tired eyes and sullen face. She leans in and puts a hand on Spencer's arm. "Spencer..."
It's been a long time since she's called him by his full name. And for the first time in weeks, Spencer felt his own heart beating again. The numbness receded just a tiny bit at JJ's touch and he let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding.
"I just needed a break, JJ." he says softly, "Being there...seeing everybody, no body saying anything to anyone...her desk is empty and it's a constant reminder of..." Spencer stops, swallowing the hard lump in his throat.
JJ doesn't pull away, she moves her hand so his fingers are entwined with hers, and she watches her friend fighting a war within his own self.
Just tell him JJ. It's Spencer...you can tell him.
"Spence," JJ begins, her stomach in knots, "You have to know something..."
Spencer looks at her expectantly and JJ can feel the words at her throat; she can feel her heart fluttering as if telling Spencer would completely free her from this secret.
JJ blinks away the tears that were threatening to fall, "You have to know that we're all here for you," JJ manages, trying to ignore the sharp ache in her chest, "We miss her too. You don't have to take this on yourself."
The young man nods and squeezes JJ's hand.
The blonde forces a small smile and breathes in deeply. She couldn't possibly risk putting Spencer in danger; it is already too dangerous that she and Hotch know about Emily. If Doyle finds out anybody has even the slightest idea that Emily is alive, he would immediately go after the ones closest to her and that meant the entire team.
No, she can't let that happen.
So this is how it has to be. The secret stays a secret, no matter how badly it was tearing her apart.