A/N: Yes, short chapter. No Ruby PoV. I'm sticking to my original plan. Sorry, I've just been feeling like... for lack of a better word, shit. Anyways... enjoy this chapter... sorry.
Another day another entry, but today was a bit odd.
This morning of course I had no breakfast. In fact I haven't even seen mom in 4 days. She usually wasn't around all the time anyway, but this was the longest I haven't seen her home. I can only imagine how much worse dad is going to come at me tonight though…
Before first period though I noticed all the stupid red banners hanging in the hallway.
I knew what it was. The school's annual dance. Everything would be themed red to signify love.
What is love? That emotion has no significance to me. I don't even think I've ever experienced it.
Why does no one love me, God? What the FUCK have I done to deserve this?!
No matter… It'll all be over soon. I keep thinking about suicide. I mean how hard would it be? I just had to fully commit and not get scared at the last moment…
But every time I think about it; I get scared. For myself…
I'm a coward. I don't want to die! I just want…
Life to get better…
Sorry Diary. I got off topic… The dance… I hate this time of the year.
Everyone goes and buys a red rose to give to their crush or partner or whatever and it means you're inviting them to the dance with you.
I don't really know… I've never been invited of course. Well at least seriously…
I remember last year… That guy Neptune asked me out to the dance. I knew I shouldn't have listened but I remember how excited and hopeful I was.
He was popular and wasn't the worst looking guy!
I remember begging my mother for money to buy a dress or something nice, but even being denied by her I managed to get enough money to buy a white and pink dress from the thrift store…
The feeling of wearing it for the first time, actually doing my hair and being somewhat presentable…
For a joke.
A fucking joke.
Cinder and Emerald put him up to it.
I showed up last year and was laughed at by everyone.
I remember running home, tears in my eyes and the knife at my wrists… But dad interrupted me and… Well the rest is history.
I don't care about that anymore; I've just learned to look at things much more realistically.
Anyway all my classes were a breeze. It seemed as if everyone was talking about the new hot topic around the school.
Which new couples would form or break regarding the stupid dance.
Although the one thing that kept catching my eye was that stupid Ruby girl! She kept looking at me every class we had together as if contemplating something.
She didn't know that I could see her, but I could. It was annoying. Why is she paying so much attention to me lately?!
I liked it better when everyone just left me alone…
In Mr. Oobleck's class though; the tall blonde buffoon went on to continue to speak throughout the whole class once more. She annoyed Weiss again but right when Weiss went to yell at Yang, the blonde held a red rose to the girl's surprised face.
I've never seen the Schnee girl look so flustered before! I thought she was going to shoot Yang down and humiliate her, but surprisingly she accepted her invitation.
Then they both got yelled at for interrupting class to which Weiss fell back into her usual self and scolded the blonde for getting her in trouble.
During lunch though, that Ruby girl sat by me again in the courtyard. I couldn't shake the feeling that she wanted to ask me something, but she never uttered a word and sat in silence.
It was weird.
Why won't she just leave me alone? What does she want?
Anyways I think she got the hint as she walked off before the bell sounded. I took note of how she left her lunch next to me though… And as she walked away she was holding something in her hand.
Something red and was crunched up…
Oh well… Anyways, not sure if she left her lunch on purpose or not but… I ATE IT!
I couldn't help it. I was starving! I feel so much better… Maybe I should thank her tomorrow?
Anyways last class; Mr. Torchwick's! It was fun! He had us solve various problems on the board in a little math game! I won… and kids were poking fun at me… But Mr. Torchwick stuck up for me! He told them to shut up and to actually try harder if they wanted a chance to do better than me in math!
Gods, he's like the best ever teacher!
I wonder when I should try to talk to him… But what would I say? I… I don't think he finds me creepy like everyone else? He treats me nice so…
Oh Gods, I must sound like an idiot!
One thing I did notice though was how that Ruby girl wasn't in class at all… Weird... Why would she ditch already? She just got here.
I wonder if it had anything to do with what happened at lunch? Oh well…
I'm off to bed early!
I finished my homework and want to rest a bit before… you know… tonight happens.
…
P.S. That Ruby girl still hasn't given me my damn pencil back!