The Simpsons hurried into the studio just as the show was about to start. Marge ran towards a empty podium with a light placed on it's front. The studio consisted of around ten of these podiums, of which a woman stood behind each one. Behind them was a couple of screens showing the show's logo. Homer noticed Paddy McGuinness stood in the centre of the stage as he made his way backstage.
"Let the hello meet the I'm Paddy McGuinness!" He said. "Let the and meet the welcome to Take Me In. The dating show that puts together the birds and the bees(members of the audience quickly began to cringe). Now, let tonight's women meet our first contestant Artie Ziff!"
The screens began to show a young man with black curly hair and rimless glasses stood in front of a small stage, red curtains drawn in front.
"Hello, I'm Artie Ziff from Springfield," He spoke. "And I am the former owner of Ziff Corp. But all you really need to know about me is that I'm awesome. Take it away, boys!"
Two men wearing smart business suits pulled the curtains open to reveal two actors on stage. One playing Artie and the other Lord Sugar. Lord Sugar was sat behind a small wooden desk on a black computer chair. Artie approached Lord Alan confidently, carrying a large briefcase and wearing a smart black suit. He strode arrogantly behind the desk and turned to face Lord Alan.
"Take that, Lord Alan!" Shouted Artie as he kicked him roughly in the shin.
Lord Alan clutched his shin in pain and exclaimed "You are so fired!"
The wooden desk disappeared and a background of the white house appeared as Lord Alan left the stage and an actor playing Barack Obama entered.
Artie hit him roughly across the head with the briefcase and said "Who has the most power over America now, Obama?"
This time the background changed to show Buckingham Palace and as Barack Obama left, a actor playing the Queen walked on stage right, with a group of Corgis joining Artie from the left side of the stage.
Artie pointed at the Queen and the Corgis attacked her viciously.
"I'm the royalty around here, Queenie!" Artie said.
The curtains were pulled across the stage by the two men as the real Artie smiled into the camera.
"So remember, ladies. You'll never find anyone better than me,"
"So, let's welcome onto the stage, Artie Ziff!" said Paddy McGuinness as Artie walked on-stage."Ouch! Only one light on. So, Lucy. Why would you like to date Artie?"
A long, black-haired woman with braces, wearing a shirt which read 'I fangirl over everything',smiled back at Paddy as she said "OMG! He's like so hot! I want to lick his nipples!"
"Who wouldn't?" Artie asked, casting a suggestive glance at Marge. "Why didn't you pick me, Marge? There's nobody more loveable than me,"
"Because you're so obsessed with yourself!" Marge shouted furiously. "All you think about is you! YOU YOU YOU!"
"Well, it's certainly kicking off tonight. You know what I say? Let the cat meet the meow!" Paddy said unhelpfully, then turned to face a man carrying a clipboard. "Who writes this stuff? This autocue is worse than a Chris Chibnall script!"
"OMG, how dare you criticise something I like!" Lucy screeched at Marge, sounding like a distressed whale run over by a tractor. "ATTACK HER, FANDOM BRIGADE!"
A group of female teenagers with the same long hairstyle ran on stage, armed with mobile phones showing pictures of Artie Ziff facepalming. They began to draw closer to Marge, surrounding her in a circle and beginning to close in as Marge fell to the ground vulnerably.
"You will become like us," They chanted.
"Well well, Marge. Are you going to fall for my irresistible charms?"