How To Be Dead

by SomeStorysNeedToBeTold

-So I think to myself while my vision begins to tunnel and the sounds around me turn to nothing 'welp this was kind of anticlimactic'. No Florence and the Machine Song to play me out.- AU Brittana, some Faberry, Puckleberry and Fabrevans, may be a little OOC, my first story and english is not my first language

4. Chapter 3: Obsessions

AN: Song for this Chapter is Marina and the Diamonds- Obsessions

'I know what you did Santana.' Her words echo in my head and I'm frozen. This can't be happening. I had been so careful. Did she follow me? What kind of creep follows people around in the middle of the night? Besides me of course. Wait. No. Focus. Think about it. If she really knew what I did she wouldn't risk being alone with me, right? Unless she's a hunter. Oh my god! All the places in the world and we stumble upon an real hunter! No. I'm doing it again. She can't be a hunter, she's all rainbows and sunshine. Shit, she's waiting for me to say something. Be noncommittal and let her elaborate.

'Huh?' As soon as that leaves my mouth I cringe. I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose. 'I mean... what?' I open my eyes and cross my arms over my chest defensively. I take her in and notice that she's not wearing her Cheerios uniform. She's wearing black skinny jeans and a yellow loose fitting shirt. She let her hair down and she looks gorgeous.

She must have noticed me looking at her, she just shrugs like it's no big deal. 'I quit. Since Kitty joined it wasn't... she's really mean you know?' I nod because of course I know. Maybe I should have killed her instead. I shake my head quickly. This really isn't helping. Britt comes to stand behind me but I'm still facing the mirror. I don't know why but I can't turn around and face her.

I clear my throat to break the tension and she nods like she just understood something important. 'You stood up for us on friday. For me. After a whole week of you ignoring me I thought you didn't like me. But on friday I got it.' She smiles wistfully. 'See when Lord Tubbington snuck out to a rave once I tried to ignore him for a few days. You know? Pretend like I didn't care what he was up to or that he hurt my feelings... but only because I cared so much. Do you know what I'm trying to say?'

'Not really.' No scratch that. Of course I know, but I wont admit it just yet. This will not be that moment where I turn around and confess that I care about her. That the thought of someone hurting her makes me angry. That I want to see her laugh, that I want to be the reason she laughs. I will not turn into that overprotective sap. Not after just one week. I don't believe in soul mates and all that. So what? Apparently she doesn't know I killed Ryder, but trust me the second she does all these smiles will disappear. So I'm sparing us both the drama.

Britt watches me intently before leaning forward a bit. The sudden proximity causing me to freeze up again. Now it's not only her scent that is invading my private space. 'I know you care about me Santana. It's okay because I like-' I quickly step away from her and I guess it startles her enough to stop talking.

'Please stop it.' I shake my head and raise my hand a little, to stop her from advancing again. I can't help but raise my voice a little, she needs to understand this. 'I think...' Something like rejection and hurt flashes across Britt's face. Shit. I bite my lip. 'You shouldn't like me.' Then I'm rambling because I have no clue how to let her down. 'What about Finn? He seems pretty into you and he's... nice? Trust me I'm not good for you and we should be heading to the auditorium now because-'

'Really!? You're not good for me? And excuse me but Finn!? You can't tell me what to do and what to feel. It's in the bill of rights! I make my own decisions and either way you respect that or you can... I don't know... be an asshole.' My eyes widen a little during her outbreak and it's really inappropriate but she is adorable and also sexy when she's upset. She calms down a little and then blushes embarrassed. 'Oh wow. Y-yeah maybe we should go to the... to the thing.'

'I'm sorry...' But she's already hurrying out of the room and I follow her sighing, keeping a safe distance from her.

It looks like Figgins organized a memorial ceremony. It's really short-notice so there's only a poster sized picture of Ryder on the stage. The picture is surrounded by unlit candles (safety first) and flowers. When I take my seat in the back row I see Kitty bending down to place a red rose amongst them. Her eyes are red from crying and she looks like she's going to lose it any second. I guess I should feel remorse for what I did. Ryder had parents, probably siblings but I can't... It's done.

I sent out a quick text to tell Quinn I can see her leering at Rachel. The Glee club sits in the front row and it seems that Rachel made her sit with them. A few seconds later Quinn is turning around seething, when she spots me I gave her fake smile and a lazy wave. She rolls her eyes and turns to the stage again. My eyes land on the back of another blonde and she must be psychic because she turns around shortly after that and looks at me strangely. Well she probably saw Quinn turning and figured it'd be me. When Figgins takes the stage and calls for the students to calm down, she turns back around.

There is no musical interlude so we're back in our classes in no time. The show must go on right? Or not, not according to these people. The rest of the day we have to sit in circles and share our feelings and shit. I'm still the new kid so no one calls me out on not saying anything. Quinn is more active though, patting people on the back and giving them sympathetic smiles, encouraging to talk about feelings. It's gross. Sometimes I catch her looking at me deep in thought. But she's quick to look away though.

At lunchtime we're sitting at our favourite table in the cafeteria. There's lasagna on our plate and I pick on it, bored out of my mind. Quinn is looking at me again but I'm not going to call her out on it. If she has to say something she will. She does.

'Hit by a car, hm?' Her eyes dart over my face and stop on my eyes. Her voice sounds noncommittal, bored even. 'Tragic.' I narrow my eyes at her and stuff my mouth with food for a distraction. My face contorts with disgust instantly, I cover it up with an exaggerated closed-mouth grin that's more like a grimace, because the lunch lady caught my reaction. I nod in her direction still chewing, she just shakes her head and goes back to work.

'You don't want to upset the lunch lady...' Sam says leaning forward, closer to my ear. 'She's the one with the food!' He speaks like it's a secret and I can't help but smile at his goofy antics. He takes a seat next to Quinn and they start talking amongst themselves. One by one the others shuffle to the table, putting their plates down and chatting animatedly. Thank god for these losers. I'm off the hook for now. I'm picking at my food again when I notice her distinct smell. Apples and sugar. She takes the seat next to me, but doesn't pay me any attention.

'Now it's alcohol awareness week all over again... I thought we covered that already? Remember that guys?' Tina addresses the group.

'How could I not remember that debacle? I took at least five 3 showers in the decontamination shower in the lab. Then I went home and took 5 more...' Rachel shudders at the memory. I'm about to ask what happened but Mike speaks up.

'Despite all the vomiting... Britt rocked that song, right?' Everyone nods halfheartedly, Britt just shrugs like 'duh of course I did'. 'I'm pretty sure that Mr. Schue won't let us participate anyway, with Regionals coming up and you know... the vomiting.'

'Rachel shouldn't be allowed to mix cocktails ever again, she nearly ruined alcohol for me. It's back to gin and juice for me...' Rachel huffs at Artie's statement and they continue their banter. I try to keep up but Britt shifts a little closer and I have to close my eyes for a second to recompose myself.

She turns her torso so she's facing me more and studies me while I'm pushing my lasagna back and forth. 'You're always getting food... but you never eat.' She whispers and I'm not sure why, but I'm grateful she does anyway. 'Do you need an intervention? Rachel loves to intervene and I had a lot of interventions for Lord T.' I wanna laugh but she doesn't seem like she's joking. I look around quickly and Kurt shakes his head at me in a 'do-not-question-her' manner.

I thought she was mad at me. She's smiling at me now and I forget everything around me.

She does it again. She makes it impossible for me to keep a distance, I mean how can I not talk to her? I swallow my laugh and tilt my head a little. 'Lord T? What's that?'

'Feline royalty. A blue blooded ball of fur, I'm pretty sure he's related to Cleopatra's cat.' She deadpans. Then smiles and swats at my arm. 'He's my cat, silly. Lord Tubbington is what happens when I get to name my pet at the wise age of ten.' She retrieves her phone and shows me a picture, the damn thing nearly fills the whole screen.

'He's fat.' I take her phone from her hand and stare at the picture. 'Like really fat, oh my god what did you feed him? Other cats!?' She giggles at that and snatching her phone back. She gives me a mock glare. 'It's a glandular problem okay?' When I give her an incredulous look, she continues. 'It's true, we went to the vet and the doctor even confirmed-'

'Where's Finn?' Rory interrupts and everyone looks up to search the cafeteria, I forgot that they are friends. Even Britt looks around and then points to the football player table.

Sam scrunches his eyebrows together. He's a football player too but he obviously chose to sit with his friends instead. Nobody says anything for a few moments and I think they're overreacting a little. It's not like he divorced them or something?

Then Rachel gets up and walks over to Finn. She tentatively smiles at him and begins to talk, then Finn says something and the whole table erupts in laughter. I see Quinn stiffen across me. Rachel blushes furiously and comes back, taking her seat without saying anything. Everyone looks at her baffled, because a speechless Rachel? That is a rarity.

Mercedes breaks the silence. 'What happened Rachel? What did he say?' Rachel gulps nervously and then shrugs. 'He said after Ryder's death the team needs male bonding time.'

Bullshit. That's not what he said. By the way Quinn narrows her eyes she thinks the same thing. The talk went a little like this. Rachel and her Bambi eyes were like 'hey Finn how come you not sit with us?' and then Finn is all manly and surprisingly aggressive like 'woman stop following me around, this is not going to happen, now leave me alone you're ruining my appetite'. And sure as hell he is wolfing down a second lasagna right now.

'Anyhow...' Rachel recovers quickly. 'We could really use your help in Glee club. Don't forget extracurricular activities are very important on your résumé!' I roll my eyes and get up. 'Nationals are in Chicago!'

'That's a 5 hour bus ride with you, no offense...' I look to Quinn for back up but she's busy giggling at something Sam said.

Kurt chimes in 'Offense taken, thank you.' He looks up at me. 'Face it Satan. We might not be the In-Crowd but we're as real as it gets. Something you obviously appreciate. The sooner you admit it the better.'

Mercedes nods. 'You're stuck with us girl.'

I roll my eyes exasperated. 'I'm sure you are really nice people but I'm not joining.' With that I walk away.

Just when I'm about to pass the football player's table someone actually tries to grope my butt. I stop and try to brace myself. I can't lose my cool. Go on Lopez. Shake it off. I'm about to start walking when it happens again. Okay that needs to be addressed. I let out an unnecessary breath and slowly turn around, death scowl firmly in place.

It's not Finn but an equally tall douche. From the whispers between his friends his name is Karofsky. I give him a once over before snarling at him. 'The fuck you think you're doing?'

'Uuh... she's feisty. You didn't tell me she's feisty Hudson.' He looks smug eyeing me up and down, I spare a glance at Finn who actually looks uncomfortable. He better be. 'I like it when my girls are spunky.'

'Excuse me but your girls!? Apologize right now, because now I have to drive to the next laundry shop to get your greasy hand print the size of a plate removed. They charge based on size you giant oaf!' He actually has the balls to laugh at me, he gets up slowly and towers over me. I hate people who use stature to intimidate.

'What's your problem Lezpez!? I was giving you a chance to escape loser town over there. How about a thank you?' He grins smugly and my hands curl into fists. I'm about to lash out when someone grabs me by the elbow and drags me along. It's Kurt and the rest of the gang is trailing after us. I'm surprised to say the least.

Kurt is fixing me with a stern look when we are in the hallways. 'Pick your fights wisely Satan and know when to walk away. And don't scowl so much, it leaves lines.' He lets me go with a kind smile and then I'm standing alone with Quinn.

'And this is the beginning of a wonderful friendship...'

'Shut up Q.' And I'm off to the next class.

We're in my car on the way back home and Quinn is staring at the side of my face again. I'm able to ignore her for five minutes before I send her a withering glare.

'Do I need to pull over for this?' I arch one brow and my foot is accelerating the car.

Quinn withstands my glare and gives me a mild smile. 'Watch the road S. Wouldn't want anyone else to get hurt now, do you?. I mean car accidents happen way too often. One second you're walking to a party and next- BAM!' She slams her palm on the dashboard hard enough to leave a dent. I flinch just noticeable enough for her. I shake it off immediately breaking eye contact. 'What? Too soon?'

I grit my teeth but slow the car anyway. 'Knock it off Q. Either speak your mind or don't.'

Silence fills the car once again. Then she sighs. 'Just tell me.' Her eyes are softer now and her tone seems nearly pleading.

My eyes are trained on the road again and our house comes into view. 'Everything's fine.' When she is about to speak up I shake my head. 'I said it's fine.' She slumps back into her seat. We arrive in front of our temporary home. Quinn is silent again while I put the car in park and kill the engine. I press my lips together tightly and then get out, she doesn't follow me.

Three days later and nothing is fine. Somehow word got out that Ryder bled out but no blood was found on the crime scene. It turns out Kurt and Mercedes are the biggest gossips at school and by lunch time everyone seems to have painted their own picture of what went down. They're all sitting together (even Finn who had a change of heart) and I'm on edge already, I can't even pretend to eat so I don't.

Mercedes provides her theory first, her voice all low and conspiratorial. 'I heard that group of Satanists where on the drive through. They needed a sacrifice for one of their rituals and they took Ryder! As a cover up they ran him over...' Most of us raise our eyebrows like that seem far-fetched, but some nod. Me being one of them. Because really that could've happened, right!?

Kurt shakes his head vehemently. He makes it a point to look everyone in the eyes before he starts to speak. Such a drama queen. 'I probably shouldn't be telling you this but I overheard my dad and the coroner talking at the body shop yesterday.' He lowers his voice to a whisper and I don't like where this is going. Quinn seems to sense this and gives me a pointed glare. While everyone is hanging on Kurt's every word her eyes never waver and gauge my reactions. 'There were teeth marks on Ryder's neck!' No one shares his enthusiasm so far so he elaborates. 'You know, teeth marks as in Kitty is into kinky stuff or this is a case of...' He actually pauses and nearly everyone leans forward expectantly. He smirks and nods slowly. 'Vampirism.' He leans back satisfied and Rachel gasps shocked. My eyes flit back to Quinn's and sure as hell her eyes darken.

I clear my throat and try to sound nonchalant. 'What are you talking about?'

'Vampirism. You know people think they're vampires and drink blood and all that. It's pretty common nowadays. I trolled some blogs and gathered some very interesting informations. They are not your average Goths by the way!' Kurt crosses his arms in front of his chest defensively and Blaine rubs his back soothingly. I process that and well, this doesn't look too bad. He didn't hint on vampires being real so...

'Humans can't drink more than 30 ml blood.' Brittany pipes up. When everyone looks at her like she just ate a baby she shrugs.'The blood turns into a cake in your tummy and then you throw up.' Her nose scrunches up adorably. Everyone still stares disbelieving and I want to smack them.

Artie nods finally. 'It's true. Considering the average amount of blood in the human body it would take up to 200 people to you know... drink him up.' He smiles at Britt and she returns it.

Kurt isn't finished though. 'Well then what about actual vampires?'

Rachel dismisses him quickly. 'Vampires don't exist, Kurt. They are a just a figment of our imagination, the romanticizing of a beautiful dark creature that-'

'I agree with Rachel. There's never been real proof that those creatures exist. I mean do you honestly think that God would tolerate such abominations?' Quinn plays with her cross while she says that and Mercedes mutters an 'Amen' under her breath. Quinn ignores Rachel's grateful smile and locks her eyes on mine once again.

Such a hypocrite. I force out a smile and nod slowly. Suddenly Britt leans over Tina and lays her palm on my arm. She looks at my arm first and then at my face. It must be cold to the touch but she doesn't say anything. 'Do you believe in God?'

I don't know why but I don't want to lie to her. I mean not more than I already have to. I look at her hand. 'No. I don't.' I look up and she nods slowly, then retracts her arm. In my peripheral vision I see her rubbing her hands together like she is trying to warm them up.

Our last class of the day ends (how did Mr. Schue land this spanish gig? like seriously!?) and I'm about to leave when said teacher approaches me. 'So Regionals are coming up.' If I had a dollar every time someone mentions the damn thing. I roll my eyes and wait for him. 'And I see real talent in you and Quinn. I'm not pushing you to join or anything...' Right because that is just so Rachel.

'We could really use your help Santana.' He's smiling down at me and can't help but give him a little smile in return. 'Just come to practice as our guest of honour and then decide, okay!?'

I nod once and grab my bag. 'Before you start begging me on your knees.' I'm beginning to think these people will turn me into a softie.

In the choir room I'm trying to keep to myself but Quinn is always close by. It's like she thinks I might attack someone any second now. While everyone is practicing their lyrics for Regionals I accompany them on the piano.

Sometimes Mike and Brittany twirl through the room or Sam does his secret sexy body roll (I think he might be a stripper but Quinn wont tell me) and it's obvious they're having a great time. Every time Britt catches me looking she winks or smiles, one time she even waves shyly.

It's actually kind of fun, but then I notice Quinn's presence right next to me and then the frown is back on my face. Thank god for Sam who is dragging her away to the drums where Finn is apparently jamming.

The second Quinn leaves the bench there is a warm body and an even warmer smile to replace her. I try to keep a straight face and play the notes right but she is distracting me. She pulls a face and then imitates my movements on the keys. After a few seconds I have to let out the laugh and I finally look at her. She winks again. 'You really should blink more. Your eyes will dry up... my cousin has the same thing.' She shrugs. 'My aunt says he plays to much computer games.'

I nod slowly, cursing me inwardly because I should definitely know better. 'It's those damn contacts actually.' I blink a few times as if to prove my point.

She looks at me funny and then shakes her head. She holds out her hand and looks at me expectantly. 'Give me your phone.'

'Why?' I retrieve it anyway.

She giggles slyly and snatches it out my hand. I reach for it but she gets up quickly, dodging my hand. 'I want to stalk you.' She deadpans.

'Santana focus...' Mr. Schue chimes in and I roll my eyes before resuming to play. My eyes follow Britt's movements. She types something in my phone, then her phone buzzes and her face lights up. I guess she's got my number now. I smile and shake my head at her behaviour.

When practice is over Britt gives me my phone back and leaves quickly with the others. No time to dwell on that because Quinn links her arm with mine and then we're walking down the deserted hallway.

'Remind me why you chose a high school Q? I get that you try to be remember what it feels like being human and shit, but… most of the time I feel like a huge creeper.' I flick my wrist dismissively. 'And not just because of the age thing… but the I-want-to-drink-from-you-thing makes it kinda hard to remember what it was like being human, don't you think?' When she doesn't respond right away I think she's just not in the mood but then her arm tightens around mine an in the next second she hurls me against a row of lockers. My back hits the metal and it bends under the impact. I land on all fours, anger clouds my reactions so Quinn uses her advantage and grabs my throat, yanks me up and pushes me against the misshapen locker door. Her face is inches from mine and she bares her teeth. Her pupils have dilated and swallowed the soft hazel.

'You killed that boy.' She hisses and I don't fight her because she obviously needs to get something out of her system too. 'You're so fucking stupid Santana.' Her grip tightens and I close my eyes for a second. She's not really hurting me but my determination to not fight her dissolves pretty quickly and my temper is soon to take over. I clench my jaw tightly. 'Do you want to be exposed that badly? Did you really have to kill him? And then you're acting around me like nothing happened.' She shakes her head and then I notice the disappointment, her grip loosens and my anger dies down a little. It's still simmering beneath the surface and Quinn knows it. Her eyes are downcast now. 'What if you attract a hunter's attention?' Her voice is barely above a whisper. 'I can't lose you.'

My right hand covers her wrist, I place my left hand on her neck. When she looks back up her eyes are normal again. I feel a pang of guilt because they glisten like she is about to cry. I never wanted to hurt her. She's my best friend. Most of the time we fight but it's because we care about each other. Don't quote me on that but I love her like a sister I never had. She's my family.

A few seconds tick by and we don't move. She doesn't start to cry and I'm glad for that. I finally swallow my pride. 'I'm sorry.' I gulp and look into her eyes. 'I'm sorry okay?' I wait for a response and when she nods slightly I pull her hand away from my throat and hug her tightly. I pull away and clear my throat. 'Besides I kick every hunter's ass so don't you worry about me.' I give her a crooked grin and she rolls her eyes playfully.

'But did you have to kill him?' Quinn recomposes herself and tilts her head. 'Did you lose control again?' I frown at the implication, because I'm perfectly in control, thank you very much. The memory of Puck and Quinn dragging me (kicking and screaming of course) into a basement and locking me there creates a shudder. That was a long time ago. The sixties were all kinds of crazy.

'He... probably not.' I sigh. 'He said some things and...' I trail off and shrug. I can't tell her that he pissed me off by saying these things about Britt. I guess I overreacted but still... he had it coming. Right?

Quinn studies me for a moment and then we start walking towards the school's exit. 'I thought about calling Puck you know.' I shoot her a quick look and she raises her hands defensively. 'I didn't do it obviously.' We're in the parking lot now, approaching my car. 'You just make it a habit to shut me out and not talk to me. We're supposed to be a family.' She stops in front of the passenger door and looks at me expectantly. 'San?'

I stand on the driver's side. I retrieve my car keys and then look at her over the car's roof. I nod and then smile softly. 'You're right. I'll be better okay?' She returns my smile and when I unlock the doors she slides into the passenger seat. I feel something prickles at my neck and turn around. I let my eyes sweep over the lot and see Finn standing at the far end. He hovers near his truck and seems to be looking straight at me. I arch an eyebrow and then he scrambles into his car. My eyes follow his car as he drives off. I don't know what it is but something about him is off. I can't put my finger on it yet. My thoughts are disrupted when Quinn opens the driver door for me. 'You coming?'

I nod distracted and then get in. I start the engine and we're heading home. Then I remember Britt and phone. I pull it out of my bag and there is an unread message. When I open it I can't suppress the smile. That seems to happen a lot with her.

Now you can stalk me too- Britt

It's sunday evening now. Friday flew by without anything worth mentioning. Besides Britt's blatant staring but I'm used to that by now. Quinn and I spent the saturday stocking up on blood bags. She even let me have a real drink when we went to a bar. She spent most of the night texting Sam and gushing on about how sweet he is. I haven't texted or called Britt but I know she kind of expected that.

I'm sitting on my window ledge, my back resting on the window frame, one leg dangling out. My room is dark and the only thing illuminating anything is my phone and the rising moon. I'm tapping the screen of my phone with my finger nails. I bet Quinn's already pissed off by that, she's in the library reading.

Earlier today she had a mild panic fit because Sam asked her to join him for church mass this morning. It's kinda cute. Church dates were pretty common back in my days. Quinn excused herself with a mild stomach flu but has been beating herself up since.

With my free hand I reach back into my room and bring the blood bag to my lips. I take a few sips and hum at the taste. A neg. My favourite, don't ask me why it just is. I take a few sips more while contemplating the text I just received and what to write back. I let the screen illuminate my face again re-reading the text for probably the hundredth time.

You're not a very good stalker ;-) let's play 20 questions. I'll go first: 1. fav. Power Ranger?- B

It's a simple text really. An odd question to begin with but whatever. After I googled Power Rangers I also knew what she was talking about. I feel if I engage in this game I can't back out that easily anymore. She snuck up on me. Like a ninja.

My reply is already on the display. I just have to tap the screen once to send it. I bite my lower lip in thought.

The Yellow Ranger I guess. 1. Summer or winter?- S

I finally hit send and roll my eyes. It's lame I know but I guess it's better than nothing. I'm not good at this whole getting-to-know-people stuff. I don't ask personal questions because most times I can't be bothered. I empty the blood bag and sigh satisfied. When my phone buzzes I expect a text but it keeps buzzing and her name flashes across the screen. She's actually calling. Shit. Okay relax. You got this.

You tap the accept button and bring the phone to your ear. Listening intently. 'Hello?'

'Summer. I love the sun and swimming and summer rain.' She pauses shortly. 'Hello to you too.' I can hear the smile. 'I bet you like winter better. I noticed you don't like being outside when it's sunny.' I hear the shuffling of paper and sheets. She must be sitting on her bed and reading a magazine or something. Take that. I'm a great stalker.

I takes me a few seconds to respond. She notices way too many things about me. 'I don't like to sweat.' I wince at my reply. 'I uhm...' I open and close my mouth a few times but words elude me.

She chuckles lightly. 'Okay San.' More shuffling. 'So...' Awkward silence follows and I'm pretty sure she's biting one of her fingernails now. Is she nervous? Well that makes me nervous. Maybe I should ask another question. I could hang up but that wouldn't be nice now would it? She sighs and I'm glad she starts talking again. 'Mike's birthday is next week.' She's hesitating again. I exhale loudly just so she hears I'm still there. I dread what's coming.

I'm shaking my head already, although she can't see me. 'Uh Britt I don-' Too bad I can't compel via phone.

'He's having a party on saturday and your invited. By me. I'm taking you... as a friend!? Quinn too if you want. But I'm pretty sure Sam is taking her so... he's got a really big house. Mike I mean. With a pool and his parents are away for the weekend. There will be dancing and... pretty please with a Dot on top?' She sucks in a breath after her rant. Oh my god she's fucking adorable. 'Mike said okay.' Silence again. 'San?'

'Yeah.' I close my eyes and nod once. 'Okay.' I can't believe I'm doing this. I also can't believe Quinn hid this from me. Well she probably thought I wouldn't be able to control myself... but still. I stiffen when she starts to squeal. Dogs from two blocks away heard that I'm sure.

'You're coming?' Her voice is high pitched from her obvious excitement. I my lips curl upwards. 'You will have fun! I promise you that... ' I hear another voice. Her mother is calling her to dinner. Britt sighs and shifts on her bed about to get up. 'I gotta run before Tubbs eats my dinner again. Bye San. I'll see you.' I say my goodbye and the line goes dead. I throw the phone on the bed that occupies the wall opposite the window. I look at the empty blood bag that is still clutched in my hand and bite my lower lip.

A party means there will be a lot of people. A lot of people who will drink. Drinking lowers their inhibitions and makes them do very stupid things. Like picking a fight or finding the courage to make a move... I could compel her to leave me alone, but Quinn doesn't like me tampering with the minds of humans. Puck is different, he doesn't care that much. I live with Quinn though and I agreed to her rules. I swear she's more human than vampire sometimes. Your emotions and character traits are very heightened in the first years after you transitioned but it pretty much dies out after centuries if you don't cultivate them. Yep just like flowers, you have to let yourself feel and accept it. Otherwise you end up like most of us. Numb to almost everything, unable to feel compassion and controlled by primal needs like hunger or lust. I run a hand through my hair and look out the window.

I look back to where my phone lies and make a decision. Quinn is gonna be very happy with me and hopefully lay off me a bit. I decide to water my flower more. Wanky but you know what I mean.

Life of the party. Yeah that'll be me.