"Come on, Lana. What's the worst that could happen, honestly?" Luan plucked as much tar as she could off her hair on her way to the fridge, "Obviously, I'm not doing anything, and I don't see how anyone can top me."

"Are you sure?" Lana kept swinging on Luan's ankle, "I heard some diabolical liquid seeped into the fridge."

"Oh my..." a grin stretched across Luan's face, "I might just try that one first."

"Ok, now you're speaking crazy talk, lady!"

"Please. Who do you think you're latching onto?" Luan opened the fridge. "Hmm...nothing's been rigged to explode. Huh. Either Lisa or Lucy." She grabbed a carton of milk and poured it into two glasses, "Wanna quench?"

"Uhhh, no thanks," Lana covered her face with her hat.

Luan chugged down her glass in five seconds, "Ahhhhh...Hm?" She felt her tongue and throat burning up, "Whoa...ok, that's not milk!" She scrambled to find some relief from the sensation of a trillion scovilles circuting through her system, but everything she drank only made it worse! When she downed some soda...soda, "AAAAAH! HOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOT~~~"

"I warned you..." Lana hid under the sink.

Luan turned on the faucet to douse her tongue with some water. And yet somehow, after she drank, she breathed fire.

"DRAGON! DRAGON!" Lana jumped out and grabbed Luan, "SLAY THE DRAGON!" She quickly filled a bucket of water from the hose and dunked Luan's head in it.

Luan bobbed her head for a couple minutes before she felt the burn disappear, "GUH...HUH...HHH...UGH..."

"That was something out of fantasy or sci-fi movies!" Lana commented, "Are you ok, sis?"

Luan's entire mouth has gone numb, "HHH...HHH...AM WITAWAWWY CWYII A SWATII... HHH...I TIK MAH TUG HA GOD AN NUMB...HHH...HHH..." She drank the entire bucket when Lisa emerged from the garage.

"Ah, I see you've found my new tantalizing invention," Lisa held up a bottle, "I call it 'tingly' drops. One drop of this liquid will sabotage whatever sensory neurons that contact the surface and emit exaggerated-"

"Shorthand notation, please..." Luan groaned before going back to drinking.

"Ahem...one drop will make you think it's spicy or stinky, when it's really just a drop of water," Lisa grinned.

"Phew..." Luan regained her composure, "I'll give you points for subtlety and surprise, but...did you really need to drop it on every single food?"

"Well, I was originally going to try it on the other siblings in the family," Lisa thought.

"Whoa..." Lana suddenly zipped to her younger sister's side, "How soon do the others get it? How soon does Lori get it?!"

Lisa looked at the now destroyed back door, "Lori should be at the pecan pie right about... now."

Right after Lisa signaled, they heard it.

"AAAAAAA! NOT AGAIN!" -GULP-GULP-GULP- -FWOOOOOOSH!-

"Shall we?" Lana held up a foam sword and a water gun.

"Well, it is a day of tomfoolery," Lisa obliged.

"And we shall begin in a glorious blaze," Luan quipped,

before they all rushed back inside, "DRAGON! DRAGON! SLAY THE DRAGON!"

"LISA, THIS BETTER NOT-BLUBLUBLUBLUBLUB~~~"