A Reason to Go On part 4
Sgt. Zim was not amused. He's had barely been back training new recruits the basics of trooper life when reports started filing in about the relatively more unruly Roughnecks. At first, he thought he could just disregard the comments saying that the Roughnecks were an effective squad. They were efficient. They had one of the highest survival rates amongst veterans. Most of all, they get the job done. But when his new recruits started thinking they could mouth off whatever sarcastic nonsense that came to mind while being held at attention because that's what they saw in FedNet's footage, he knew the madness had to stop. Teaching new recruits discipline would have to come from observing disciplined superiors--from orderly, respectable, efficient squads that followed the chain of command. The Roughnecks had, more or less, two out of three qualities. Efficient? Yes. Respectable? Maybe. Orderly? Not by a long shot by what he's heard and seen by the trooper's own messages to him.
Some of his recruits even made Alpha squad their heroes. He had often heard them gush about how amazing Alpha squad was in the last FedNet show. They wanted to be a Roughneck. He had been proud overhearing this. After all, he had trained the majority of those troopers into what they were. He had fought beside them. It was a compliment to him to hear that they thought that the squad was the one to beat. That is-- until those same recruits refused to follow his orders because they thought he was wrong. They had argued that it was what Lt. Johnny Rico would have done if he were in this situation. That was the Rico they saw repeatedly on screen. The good sergeant remembered having trouble keeping a straight face when he sent that 'gang' for some old fashioned lashing. He realized that these recruits were clueless in idolizing the young Lt. Johnny Rico. FedNet's brilliant editing made him look larger than life. But it was Jean Razak was the one they should look up to not Juan "Johnny" Rico.
At least not yet.
He had barely landed on the Zegema Beach when he had bumped into several higher officials. Being friends with these people, they eventually fell in talking about the Roughnecks. It was then that they revealed how the normally level- headed all around trooper named Jeffrey Gossard had been acting strangely of late making mistakes even a focused greenie hardly did. The Corporal seemed distracted. They had mentioned that Rico had even suspended the man and that they had just passed the technician sulking in the beach alone. This information troubled the sergeant knowing that Lt. Rico treated the squad like siblings instead of a direct superior. Rico and punishment simply did not equate. He left their company deciding to look for the trooper in question first before making his presence known to the rest of the squad who should be awaiting his arrival even if he wasn't due to start duty for another two days.
Sgt. Zim had expected a trooper to be giving the man company in the beach. True enough, there was an injured one talking to mechanic. However, there were a few things he did not expect. He did not expect Private Ashley Anderson to be the one there. He had thought Doc or Flores would have been consoling the soldier about his suspension giving their respective histories. He had done a little research about the most recent Roughneck while he was away so he could understand where some of those weird habits, behaviors and attitude are coming from. But he didn't expect the two to be fighting because they largely got along in the past.
The argument lasted a very short time yet everything was revealed to him. When the girl had stormed off leaving the two men in the beach, it took the sergeant some time to think about what exactly to do. He knew what the textbook would suggest his course of action should be. But seeing the tears roll down the trooper's cheek in grief, he doubted that telling the trooper to move on because 'the fate of Earth depended on him' would work. The 'Troopers don't cry' speech definitely won't.
Sgt. Zim did not expect himself to be at a loss.
So he had kept watch over the upset trooper until the tears subsided. When he had felt that sufficient time had gone past since the soldier had quieted down, he decided it was time to move to a less public venue. "Corporal, walk with me." He ordered toning down his normally overbearing tone. To his relief, Gossard didn't argue and complied. He stood up rather dejectedly which is understandable. But quietly followed Sgt. Zim pass the quiet halls leading to the officer's quarters and offices. "Son," he started a conversation he really was unsure he should be having with the trooper, "does the lieutenant know about your... situation?" He asked as they traveled down the clean halls.
"No, sir." The soldier answered.
Sgt. Zim frowned. Whenever a soldier receives mail about a death in the family, a copy is always furnished to the commanding officer so he could decide what to do with the trooper. If it had been weeks since Victoria Gossard's death and Rico didn't know about it, this only meant one thing. Johnny Rico hasn't been doing his paperwork. In Zim's opinion, whatever the squad has been through is not the fault of the mourning trooper. The blame is now passed to the officer who neglected his duties and therefore allowed this to happen. "That boy better be ready for an earful." He mumbled to himself grudgingly.
The older man stopped and waited for the doors to slide open before ushering his squad's corporal inside. The room spoke of business with only a small window at the back of the room to provide any sense of warmth. There were no other furniture inside either besides from a few chairs, a desk and a row of file cabinets. Obviously, very little time was actually spent inside. But when the sergeant stepped behind the desk and sat down, suddenly, the room was transformed. Sgt. Zim looked like he belonged in his surroundings. The strict diciplinarian amazingly gave the cold room a little soul.
Sergeant Zim reached for one of the handheld screens kept inside his bottom drawer. He placed it vertically on its port on his desk and started typing. A few moments later, he took the handheld and laid it down flat on the one side of the table. He sighed watching the trooper eye his movements. "Gossard," the sergeant called out firmly to the man staring at the document, "I am sorry for your loss." He gave the trooper a sad smile. "I have seen and lost far too many friends in this war, both civilian and military." He looked down on the table remembering that the mechanic had known Jean Razak as well. "How accurate was Private Anderson's guesses?" He asked after a few seconds of silence.
"A bullseye sir." Gossard sighed in contempt. "She shoots to kill." He added.
"Most troopers do, Corporal." Sergeant Zim sighed. "Son, it sounds to me like you've been pushed into the army by something beyond your control. You have been a good soldier but the service might not be for you." He motioned to the document he had set aside. "You should think about what you really want to do with your life while you're in this ridiculous suspension. You have served your required term and there are a lot of recruits now to fill positions. The Sky Marshal had planned to discharge squads as a unit but there are exceptions. If you decide to leave, your discharge will be waiting here for you. All it needs is Rico's signature. The sergeant smirked and leaned back on his chair. "And we both know he's not about to say no." As Zim expected, the quiet trooper gave no response looking deep in thought instead. He gave the trooper an almost mischievous look. "And about Anderson, Anderson isn't her original name." He revealed disturbing the trooper's sadness for just a second.
"Sir?" Asked the now confused Gossard.
Sergeant Zim nodded. "Born
one Ashley Chang. One older brother, One older sister and One younger
brother. Went to a private Catholic school in the eastern sectors
until halfway through high school when her mom disowned her. That's
when she changed her name to Anderson, lived with her sister for a
year, and went to that school with Brutto. Then, she disappeared and
moved to a military school for her last year of high school. Now you
know a little about her life. You're even." Sergeant Zim leaned
forward placing both his hands on the desk. "You're dismissed,
soldier." He stood up eying the still slacked jaw
technician.He smiled inwardly knowing that his research
was at least put into good use. At first, he started looking to her
past just to understand the odd trooper. But it was unfair that she
knew private things about the other trooper while keeping her own
life secret. Who knew what else she knew about any of them that she's
being quiet about? He let his grin show when Gossard disappeared
behind the sliding doors. In his opinion, he was only being fair
although life isn't. Gossard was just a by product of what he
believed to be odd circumstances. In life, accountability was always
shady. A person could never have complete control. Life wasn't an
institution unlike the army. If anything else, the older man liked
the military for one simple fact-- there was always someone
accountable. Sgt. Zim rose from his desk and marched out the door.
And right now, he had bigger fish to fry.
--
"State the obvious why don't you." Lt. Johnny Rico tossed another folder to his outbox file with a sigh. No wonder Lieutenant Razak disappeared whenever they had any R&R. He wasn't avoiding contact with the troopers, he was simply swamped with...boring paperwork. He didn't mind half of them that were about the Roughnecks as a squad. Constructive criticism was always a good thing and he would try to get some of those suggestions in there. He didn't mind the parts that updated him on progress of the other infestations. But what he did mind were the Intel reports that had to do with the bugs themselves. Who cares about how much force a warrior bug's jaw's clamp down on its prey? Or how fast a Kamikaze can fly? Or how hard exactly is a Tanker's outer shell? Marking the report at the end with 'Caution: Extremely dangerous' was not helping the lieutenant's mood. He already knew that they were dangerous. What he wanted to know is how to kill them faster.
He absently reached for the next folder propping his head up with his free hand. He closed his eyes when he flipped the cover over. To get through this type of work, motivation is key. Playing a guessing game made this whole work process easier. If he guessed the general contents correctly, he gets a point. If he guessed them wrong, he deducts a point. When he reaches 100 points he will convince everyone that he is a psychic or ask Dizzy Flores out on a real date-- whichever comes easier. "Intel report on bugs for and even O, Johnny." He announced to himself opening his eyes.
Somewhere in the universe, a blaring sound of a buzzer is echoing through space.
The forced smile on his smile faded completely. Right there in his hand was a picture of a girl he had never seen before but held a striking similarity to one of his friends. He scanned through the handheld's information quickly just to reread it again. He searched for the date before placing the folder back on the table in shock. This was a brief write up on Victoria Gossard.
Johnny Rico leaned back on his chair running both hands through his hair. Gossard's behavior and that odd conversation with Andy-- Suddenly it all made sense! Andy had mentioned that Gossard was crying. She just conveniently left out a reason why the man was crying. Gossard was grieving. Girl problems and they were very close the younger trooper had said before Doc had cut her off. The mechanic's sister was the girl and the problem was that she was dead. And Anderson cheering for him to do his paperwork is because she knew this file would likely be waiting for him on his table. She did know something! Why couldn't she had just said so sooner? She could have saved herself from blowing herself up and saved the rest of the squad from Gossard blowing them up. Instead, she chose to play with words.
Johnny sighed deciding that he was going to have a talk with that trooper about semantics and transparency when he had the time. He placed both his hands at the back of his head tilting his chair slightly backwards. He had a new problem. What is he going to do with Gossard? Rico had just realized that he had basically been unaware of his friend's pain and he's been reprimanding the guy for mistakes in the field thinking it was simply due to fatigue or stress. He had just suspended a man for that reason. He thought the squad was lagging behind because of the mechanic.
Jeff Gossard, however, was the wrong person to blame. It simply wasn't Gossard's fault that he was distracted. It wasn't Andy's fault that she tried to keep it a secret egging hints at them instead. It definitely not the rest of the squad's fault for being oblivious to Gossard's situation. This was his fault. He should have known. He would have known if he didn't let things pile up on his table. He should have been comforting his friend instead of being clueless leader.
"Frustrating isn't it?" A man behind him said interrupting his already confusing thoughts.
Rico's blood turned cold as he craned his neck slowly to get a better view of the man standing in front of the door glowering at him. He must have been far too deep in thought not to notice that someone had just come in. At the clear sight of the sergeant, the lieutenant snapped to his feet ready at attention with his right hand at a salute out of pure habit. "Sergeant Zim! Sir." He greeted before realizing once again, that he actually outranked his old boot camp officer. He slowly lowered his right hand into a weak wave. "Hi. How was Earth?" He asked trying to recover some dignity.
Before Sergeant Zim could even answer, the base's P.A. system were turned on. "Attention. Lt. Rico and Alpha Squad. Please proceed to Command Room 1 ASAP." It announced before it started repeating a few more times. Rico watched his squad's sergeant head out of the door quickly. He sighed in relief. Never in a million years did he think that one day it was the bugs that were going to save him.
--
Note: Somewhere in the middle of this part I decided to give Andy a past to contrast Gossard's. More on that later. Also, this was the fic that I was suppose to try writing all dramatic and angst filled-- A pause from my normal dry writing. Thus the topic of killing off someone. But somewhere past 6000 words, I noticed that I can't maintain it. Therefore, my respect for all those angst/ drama writers just sky rocketed-- not that I didn't respect them before mind you. (For an active RSTC specific writer, Brisbanegirl comes to mind. I used to "know" and still "know" a few RK ones and a bunch of other fandoms-- too many to mention.) But really. How do they do it? How do they sustain heavy emotion past so many chapters and so many words? I don't know. I tried and I ended up with this-- and this definitely isn't one for the record.