School IS a place for bloody fairies

"This is your fault, you know" Ranma was not a happy redhead, and said redhead accusingly told the other redhead so.

"How's you being a piece my fault?" Ranko was a cheery redhead, but also kind of defensive at the moment. She didn't like being accused.

"You made that brute splash a bucket of cold water over me" Ranma turned to the miniature on his shoulder.

"And how did I do that? Asked her? Like "Hey, Miss Issue, I don't really exist at the moment, but never mind that, could you like, throw a bucket over Ranma, cause really, that dipshit doesn't deserve anything else, does he"" The fairy returned Ranma's glare eye for eye.

"No…" Ranma said with a sigh "more along the lines of: " You looked at Ranma's naked body, you pervert" you should see her face, a real tomato. " Ranma probably didn't help his case any that he was snickering at that. "Anyway, you really said the wrong thing apparently. She's mad, and for some reason, she's mad at me. Like I have any control over a psycho like you."

The little fairy laughed at hearing how Akane was all embarrassed "Ha, that yoke doesn't deserve any better. Calling me a pervert like that why she's one herself. Why'd you stand for it anyway?" she asked obviously irritated at his lack of action.

"I don't. It just that hitting girls like that…"

"Wait a minute here. You can hit me all you want, but you won't hit her? What's up with that?" The anger of the little fairy didn't diminish at all, if her glowing red was a safe indication.

"Hey, I know how strong you are! You've got me strength, my speed, my endurance, just in a smaller package. Besides, you're a bloody fairy, that's something completely different"

Ranko thought about that then suddenly, she found a reason to renew her anger. "Hey, how's being a bloody fairy any reason for me to be less female? I'm probably more female then that damn yoke you're now supposed to marry!"

"Well, ain't gonna argue there. She's one brute alright." Ranma eyes suddenly flew open and then turned his head to look at the fairy.

Ranko was caught by complete surprise "He… Hey, what's up with the sudden look? Something on my face?" Ranko began frantically washing her mouth with her dry hands

"How did you know Akane was engaged to me? You were long gone when that happened"

"What sorta question is that? Of course I know, because…" she froze with her finger still pointing at Ranma, as she realized that she indeed had no memory of Akane being engaged to Ranma. "well, I just know alright? Maybe we share a brain, or more likely, your brain was transferred into mine, and you're brain-dead now, and probably in time will become my brainless slave – mind ya, while transferring, there probably weren't any brain-shrinking processes" Ranko began to bawl loudly. Ranma groaned, and with thumb and middle finger, shot Ranko from his shoulder against the wall.

"Son, you awake?"

"Sure pops, what's up?"

Genma sat himself opposite of Ranma. "Well son, apparently, we'll be staying here a while. As with all the other times we've settled for some time, you'll attend school."

"What, Again? But I know all I need to know?" a loudly laughing Ranko was his answer on what a certain fairy thought about that. "Hahaha, you knowing anything? Hahaha, that'll be the day."

Both Genma and Ranma groaned "Thank you for your totally unasked opinion. Now get lost will ya."

"But dad, you ain't seriously expecting me to go to school again?" Ranma asked incredulous.

"I am, and you will go to school son. While the wisdom you learn there might not seem directly useful for a long life martial artist, the sharpening of the mind is" Ranma glared at his dad.

" Who're your quoting? Some idiot again who doesn't do anything but sit in a temple, train and write books? Like he knows shit about school"

Genma was getting a little fed up with his son. "It doesn't matter son. You WILL go to school, whether you like it or not"

Ranma pointed at the seven and a half inch creature floating on her back kicking her legs in the air and laughing her little arse off. "What about her?"

Genma pushed his glasses up his noise. "Well Ranma, you'll understand that you can't take Ranko to school. Remember that fairies aren't an everyday occurrence"

Ranma looked with chagrin at Ranko "You don't say" then he looked back at his father "guess there's no helping it. Alright then"

Reluctantly Ranma stood up, took the satchel his father was carrying, and was about to walk out the room when he bumped into something angry.

"Look out where you're going idiot." Without waiting for an answer Akane stomped on, one hand holding her satchel and the other clenched in a fist.

"What's her problem" Ranma asked to no one in particular. Ranko, having flown besides Ranma, felt the need to answer that. "I think you are" Ranko flew about the same height as Ranma's head and watched Akane stomp off. She shielded her eyes with her hand, and whistled softly. "You've got one nutjob on your hands there Ranma".

Ranma just sighed.

Ranko clapped Ranma gleefully on the shoulder, which Ranma hardly registered. "Don't worry trooper, go tame that shrew" laughing, Ranko flew back into the room.

Ranma shrugged, and followed Akane.

----------------

"What's wrong anyway with that psycho pixie anyway?" Ranma looked down from the fence he was walking on. Akane was pointedly not looking at him, she still was very angry, still hold her satchel if it was the most important object to her, still clenched her fist and still had little red dots all on her face.

"She's a fairy okay, not a pixie." Ranma looked over Nerima as he walked, idly answering Akane.

"Whatever, what's her problem?" Akane still made a point of looking away, which suited Ranma just fine.

"You, I guess" Ranma answered matter of factly.

"What've I done to her?"

"You don't know? Come'on you ain't that dim" Ranma again turned to her "then again, maybe ya are."

Akane clenched her teeth, and violently turned her head "she acted like a pervert. If she's a pervert, then she shouldn't start hitting me when I call her one. Or can't she handle the truth?"

"Why call her a pervert when she ain't, when you don't even know?"

"I call someone a pervert whenever I damn well like to do. Besides, she's apparently your clone, which says a lot"

"How'd ya figure that?"

"All boys are perverts" Akane huffed, and again looked before her.

"A bit like how you are a macho chick, a brute and a yoke?"

Suddenly, something heavy and fast came running along the fence.

"Ranma that's no way to treat your fiancée." Genma raised the fist he had just knocked his son with.

"What the hell, Dad… what are you doing here?" snapped Ranma angrily.

"Doesn't matter son, You'll…" Ranma didn't feel like listening to another stupid tirade of his old man, and kicked him off the fence into the nearby lake.

"What was that? I didn't quite catch that last part" Ranma stood on the fence - snickering - looking over the water, when suddenly, a giant panda erupted from the lake. Ranma easily dodged the angry swings the panda took at him and eventually jumped away.

"Can't catch me" Ranma smirked as he was doused by a splash of cold water.

With dread and impending doom, Ranma looked at the ladle lady.

"Lovely, just lovely" The redhead said simply. "Right, I'm off."

Akane had watched the exchange totally indifferent. "Idiot" she simply said. She considered for a moment asking a neighbour for hot water, but eventually decided that she'd rather have a one more school day without the disaster boy.

Before Ranma could continue however, his dad was next to him. "You will go to school son, whether you want to or not. Just ask someone around here for some warm water. They seem nice people. I'm sure they're willing to give you some hot water if you ask nicely."

"Even lovelier" Ranma sighed.

Ranma rang the bell the first door he found, and with that Genma was off. A nice middle aged lady opened the door.

"Hello there young lady, can I help you with something?"

"Yes, can I have some hot water? It's ehm, for euh… a condition I have. You see,.. if I… you know… don't have warm water every hour or so I drop dead?" The woman mistook Ranma's unease for embarrassment over her condition.

"Oh my, then I'll quickly get you some hot water then. Just stand here." Nervously Ranma looked around her. Akane had already gone… or wait, no, that was her, talking with some guy in a dark robe. Apparently the man was wearing glasses, and carrying a skeleton? 'Why would anyone In their right mind carry a bloody skeleton? Oddball. And why's Akane so red in the face? Did that guy also called her a pervert?'

"Here you are" the lady returned, and carried with her a glass of warm water. Still looking at Akane and the oddball, Ranma carelessly threw the warm water over himself, and instantly changed proportions. The woman fainted on the spot.

"Just grand" Ranma said looking down

"Grand indeed, ya tosser" said a rough female voice next to him.

---------

Three minutes earlier.

A fairy with no pants on, just a red shirt was flying on her back, feet crossed and arms under her head and a very bored expression.

"I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored" she declared to the world, trying to convince anything willing to hear it that she was in fact bored.

"I'm soooooo bloody bored." The fairy flew on, not watching where she was going.

"Bored, tired, bored stiff, jaded, bored to tears, bored to death, bored rigid, tit bored! What's the old man doing anyway? Looking for another bloody job?" The fairy mused to no one in particular.

"it's so unfair. Why do I gotta stay here? One paper reading idiot, and one sweet lady, but nonetheless not the most exciting figure of all. There has to be something I can do. Anything is better than nothing"

"Ranko-chan watch out" but it was too late. The fairy flew herself against the window, and plunged headfirst into the warm dishwater.

"Oh my"

---------

A smiling doctor tofu opened the door to – apparently – allow a smiling seven and a half inch fairy in. The fairy's smile reached her ears, and she had her tiny hand extended.

"Hiya, I'm Ranko Saotome, Happy to meet'cha."

Not knowing what else to do, the doctor reached out with a finger, and shook the fairy's hand. "well hello there. You're new here, aren't you?"

Ranko laughed at that. "Wow, how ever did you guess that?" then she looked sideways "My bro is coming. You see, the yoke somewhat got this woman all fainting over him. Dunno how he did that. Anyway, here he is".

Doctor Tofu, expecting a little male fairy carrying a full grown woman saw somewhat to his relief a normal looking pigtailed boy carrying a woman on his back.

"Hiya, I'm Ranma Saotome, Happy to meet ya" slouching somewhat under the weight of the woman, Ranma extended his hand to politely shake the doctor's.

Doctor Tofu examined the woman "what happened to her?".

"Don't know really. She just dropped down all of a sudden. She ain't dead is she?" Ranma let out a sight when he saw doctor Tofu shaking his head.

"If I were to guess, she fainted out of shock" Ranko and Ranma started at each other, then looked back at the doctor. Embarrassingly scratching the back of her head Ranko asked "an out of nowhere appearing fairy plus a gender changing girl. Would that suffice?"

Shocked, the doctor looked at the two. "But I'm really a boy" added Ranma as afterthought.

Doctor Tofu eventually took the woman from Ranma's back. Ranma gratefully arched his back. "Thanks there Doc. Euh... Well, I guess we need to go to school." And with that both were off before the Doctor could say anything.

"Look at what you did, you spaz" Ranko said accusingly. Both of them were still discussing the incident with the woman.

"Shut up okay."

"So, how're ya gonna explain me at school" Ranko stood on Ranma's shoulder leaning against his right temple.

"dunno… maybe I could hide ya in my bag or something."

"No deal bustard, boring enough at that dojo place, I'll be really dead-bored in your bag."

"We could just let them suck and egg and let'em deal with it"

"Grand idea, but you are supposed to stay in school, not thrown out the moment you enter?"

"What? You think they're gonna throw me out because of you? That they throw you out is understandable. But me, bloody scholar that I am." Ranma grinned cockily.

Ranko entwined her hands behind her neck, looking at the way they were going. "Sure you are, but then Mr scholar, can you tell me which way we're going?"

Ranma suddenly stopped dead in his tracks, sending Ranko flying of his shoulders "Watch it", about midway to the ground she stopped, and flew in front of Ranma's face.

Ranma ignored the fairy flying in front of his face, hands stretched around her lean frame, leaning slightly and looking angrily at him. Instead he began to look left and right, and made the only conclusion he could make. "Sure I can't." and with that grinned and scratched the back of his head.

"You idiot" Ranko was now all tense, and mouth wide open screaming at Ranma what an incredible idiot he was.

Ranma snapped his fingers, and shot the 7.5 inch pantless fairy flying headfirst into a sign saying that Furinkan high was exactly the opposite direction. "Bleeding fairies, shouldn't intrude on scholar's business."

And with that The Martial artist self proclaimed scholar took of heading for Furinkan High, followed by a fairy who was tightening her belt around her shirt, because really, she had no pants, and she wasn't planning on flashing her pretty yellow knickers to just anyone.

----

Both Ranma's and Ranko's face had a peculiar expression, one that might be recognized as total shock.

"What the hell is happening here?" snapped a totally raffled Fairy.

"I'm not too sure, but if I were to guess, I'd say the yoke is kicking and smashing what appears to be a wide variety of sportsmen" Ranma paused for a moment "ranging from wresters to tennis players, to soccer"

Akane, almost finished, grabbed a cricket players arm and twisted it in a very painful looking angle.

"Oooh, nasty" commented Ranko.

"Looks quite painful indeed" agreed Ranma.

Not long after both teens had arrived, well one normal, though no very, teen and one fairy teen Akane was done. She came walking towards them, and stopped when she saw Ranko, and gave her a warning glare.

"Ranma, have you lost your mind? What's … Ranko doing here?" Both Ranma and Ranko totally missed the pause Akane made, in which she in no uncertain terms was about to tell what she thought of the bloody fairy

"What, you got a problem with her, you macho chick?" Ranma asked, somewhat heated. Ranko immediately took a fuming stance, floating about, arms tense next to her nimble body, eyes sparkling fire.

"Sure I do" the darkness in Akane's voice couldn't be misinterpreted. Then Ranma once again noticed the dark spots roaming her face.

"Well, tough luck. She's gonna stay"

Akane groaned and muttered softly a silent 'lovely'.

"And what about teachers? I'm not sure they're going to fancy your fairy"

"Hey, I'm right here you twit. Don't talk like I'm bloody not" Ranko was done with fuming, and felt very much like adding some more dark spots on the jock's face.

"She can fly a bit around, she doesn't really need to go into class"

"Are you daft? Of course she can't. In class, out of class. Fairies don't usually fly around here."

"Well, now they do, bloody good to, this place could use some cheering up. What's better then a sparkling fairy" Ranko, done feeling left out, butted in.

"You keep out of it"

"And why should I? ya Tosser" Ranko's glare met Akane's with equal fervour.

"Because I'm discussing it with Ranma here, idiot"

"ehm…" Ranma inserted lamely.

"And what makes ya think I'd listen to any crap he says?"

"'cause you're his fairy"

"That I appear when he changes doesn't bloody well mean I'm his."

"It does, and besides, I don't wanna talk to you"

"Oh you don't. Well you better bloody well get used to it then. As much as I don't like it, Ranma and me, we come in one package. So him being your fiancée and all, you're bound to talk to me anyway." At this point, Ranko was screaming. And though Ranko's voice doesn't carry very far, her being tiny and all. It was far enough for a certain person to have heard it.

"WHAT?"

All three of them suddenly looked up at almost the entire student body staring at the argument Akane and Ranko were having, safe to say, they were fairly baffled. The person standing in front of the group, a bit apart, was a tall young man, a blue and black kendo uniform.

"I will NEVER allow such travesty to continue. An Engagement to Akane Tendo is not allowed." The posh voice spoke with a certain self justified anger, which somehow both Ranma and Ranko immediately recognised as stupidity.

Of course, the person had to scream this, and so, since probably the entire school population was standing on the school square, the whole school had heard it. And those who were deaf, dead and hiding under a rock would soon enough hear it.

Every face in their audience expressed complete bafflement. After some seconds, the first people began to comment. The reaction from the girls were clearly different than those from the boys.

"Akane, how could you?"

"Don't let a guy destroy your principles Akane"

"You're our example, don't succumb to a guy"

Of course, not every female said something along those lines.

"How come you get all the cute ones?"

"Hey Akane, what if you take all the boys from our school, and leave this one with us."

The guys on the other hand shared a very common sentiment.

"What a lucky bugger"

"Competition has just reached new levels."

Where the girls seemed to be split into two groups, all boys shared a similar emotion, jealousy, and in some cases even resignment. Somehow, they instinctively knew that this guy probably was way too much to handle. The way he walked, the way he was dressed, the way he had a female fairy flying next to him, looking pretty much like him, smaller, and with wings.

"Wow, look at that fairy" the boys had noticed the fairy before, mind you. However, the initial shock from seeing an actual fairy – arguing with Akane no less - having faded, they now noticed something far more interesting.

"Look at those knockers"

"Yeah, she's small, but still"

"Makes you wonder what they'd be normal sized?" some boys began imagining just that. Drool and blood where finding their exits through respectively the mouth and the nose. Ranko, being far too engrossed in her argument with Akane, didn't pay any attention to them, till someone noticed she was not wearing any pants.

"Is it me, or is she not wearing any pants?" suddenly, all the boys began to edge closer.

"Damn, she's indeed not wearing any." Now, Ranko did notice the attention she got. Akane and Ranma also noticed, and all three of them turned their attention to the group of boys coming closer.

"I wonder what she's wearing underneath."

"Panties, lace, and probably red" the way all the boys were speculating about her underwear made Ranko understandably very uncomfortable.

"Hey, what're ya tossers thinkin' about?" Without really thinking about it, she again tightened her belt, while nervously looking from boy to boy.

The group of tossers however didn't listen, and slowly, but surely began to near. Was it a real wish, or just a trained impulse, no one knew, they probably didn't to, but suddenly, all began to attack – arms, fists, bokkens, rackets, sticks and whatnot raised –screaming wishes to date Ranko. Poor perplexed Ranko, instantly took a ready stance, and waited for her enemy to come into slashing range.

Akane, standing in front of Ranko – and herself being completely out of it – had no chance to evade or counterattack the sudden mass of testosterone and was completely overrun.

Kuno, previously standing in front of the group, had simply joined the group sprouting nonsense about how he would guard the mystical angel of love her panties, by apparently attacking her as well.

Ranko, flew very fast between the bokkens, poolsticks, potty's, hammers and whatnot. Her uncanny speed and agility made her impossible to touch. The problem was the though she had no problem hitting them, and could really hit them hard, her little fists and feet were more cute and adorable then lethally and painful. So, a great many were unstoppably trying to or defeat Ranko, or look under her skirt.

Ranko's was with extraordinary acuteness perceiving her surroundings making the testosterone driven group fight it out themselves – make a pool player smash his stick in the eye of a wrestler she just flew in front of. Of course the kicks and hits of the males weren't as effective as say, Ranma's punches, or Akane's kicks.

Luckily for her, Akane decided that although Ranko really was a pest, she didn't deserve this. Besides, the horde of Hentais again showed they didn't deserve anything else (her personal crusade to kick and smash anything perverted kicking in), and maybe the worst, they had overrun her. Overrun her? Like she was nothing and that Ranko twit everything.

So she had began her second round of 'smash the perverts'. Problem was that they were far more driven this time, and with an awful lot more. Not that, this really was a problem for Akane, it just took a fair bit longer. Of course the fact that they only had eyes for Ranko helped, both to fight them, as frustrate her even further because they were ignoring her.

Ranma in the meantime was just idly standing by, not really knowing what to do. He knew Ranko could handle this. If anything, thought Ranma, she could worn them out easily. She didn't have his strength, but did have a version of his endurance, which meant to him, that she could go on like this for a couple of days.

Ranma scratched the back of his head. However, this was getting awfully boring now.

"Hey Ranko, you need a hand? Strikes me that Akane's help doesn't really speed things up" Ranma had chosen his words carefully. Ranko was somehow very sensitive about receiving help. He had no idea where she got that from. Anyway, blaming it on Akane was a sure way to have her accept his help, though it was rather unfair since Akane was probably doing more persisting damage then Ranko. There was only so much a seven point five inch fairy can do.

Akane had heard him alright, and growled between pants in response, but more then that she couldn't manage. The stream of boys didn't seem to end. Ranko apparently didn't have such a hard time. While almost teleporting herself from one boy to the other, at least that was what it looked like for the boys who couldn't catch her on the best day of their lives (while ranko being blind and deaf).

"Sure, don't want to exclude you from the fun." Ranma smirked, threw his schoolbag to the side, and got in a fighting stance.

"Hey, Akane, them teachers probably want us in time, right?" Ranma didn't make any move, just kept standing in ready stance.

"What?" Akane's voice was frustrated and worn out.

"Us, on time, important?"

"Of course that's important! Auw, hey, watch were you're going idiot" Akane gave a nasty punch in the boy's abdomen who tried to walk over her.

And then Ranma began to interfere. Ranma's kicks were swift, fast, en precisely timed. It was as if he danced. His hands connected, but, like a graceful dance, they continued on, never seeming to have been stopped, on to the next victim. The punch that didn't seem more then stroke, send the boys flying, completely out of it, and if that wasn't the case, impressed enough that maybe they shouldn't try to fight that guy.

And in no time there was only one guy left standing. His hair was dark brown, his clothes bleu and black, his weapon a bokken.

two people were standing in front of him, another flying. One in a ready combat stance puffing a bit, one other yawning and scratching his left leg with his right foot and the last one checking her nails and rubbing them against her chest.

And thunder roared.

Rant.

All rant is at the start of the story (i.e. chapter 1).

Cheers,

Riverburn