Chapter 4: Too Many Funerals
Harry awoke abruptly to a startling scream. He sat up in the bed, after grabbing his wand and shielding Ginny with his other arm. It took a few moments before he realized that it was Teddy crying and that there was not an intruder in the dormitory. He picked up his godson.
"What, are you hungry, little man?" Harry asked.
Ginny stirred slightly and looked at Harry. "I've got him," he told her. She snored in response.
When Harry discovered that Teddy obviously needed a new nappy, he was happy to see the bag at the end of the bed. Molly had helped him and Ginny change a few nappies the day before. Harry knew that he, himself, would prefer to be clean and dry while eating and so assumed that Teddy would too.
Harry laid the changing cloth on Ron's bed and put Teddy on it. It took a few minutes to get the snaps undone. Then it took all of Harry's Gryffindor courage to open the nappy. It was even worse than he'd imagined. How could someone so small create such a large mess? Harry quickly cleaned the little behind, banishing the wipe to the rubbish bin and the dirty nappy to the laundry with a wave of his wand. He dabbed on a little bit of the potion so that Teddy wouldn't get a rash and got a clean nappy under him. Harry was contemplating how to get the nappy to wrap up correctly when he got squirted in the face. He almost shouted, "Agh!" He quickly looked at Ginny and worried that he'd woken her up. But she just mumbled and turned over in her sleep.
"I can't believe you did that," Harry told the baby, who just waved his arms and legs happily. Harry used an extra-strong cleaning spell on himself, causing him to wince. At least he was clean, he thought. He got two fresh nappies this time and held one of them over Teddy, while he figured out how to assemble the other. It took him a while, but he eventually managed to get the clean nappy on Teddy without any more mishaps.
He grabbed another bottle from it and used the spell that Molly had shown him to warm it, testing the liquid on his arm.
He wondered if he could get something comfortable to sit on. He thought of the conjuring spell and a decent wicker rocking chair appeared. Thankful, he sat down with Teddy and fed him. He was proud of himself when he actually remembered to burp the baby, and Teddy seemed to be content. He noticed that Ron and Hermione were absent from Ron's bed, but didn't worry about it too much. He figured they didn't want to be disturbed by a crying baby in the middle of the night. Harry laid Teddy into the cradle, after changing his nappy once more and rocking him back to sleep. He looked down at the black-haired, green-eyed baby and smiled, before climbing back into his bed beside Ginny. He pulled her into his arms and fell asleep with his face buried in her luscious hair.
Harry awoke slowly in the morning; having had a good night's sleep for the second time in what seemed like several years. Ginny was still asleep next to him. He decided to awaken her by kissing her lightly on the lips. Half asleep, she began kissing him back.
They were enjoying each other rather nicely, before a wail brought them slamming down to earth.
"What the hell was that?" Ginny yelped, before she could get her wits about her.
"Oh dear! Teddy, it's okay, baby, we're here," she cooed.
She leapt out of the bed and picked up the baby. Harry couldn't help but think that Teddy had just about the worst timing possible, but couldn't quite bring himself to be angry with his godson either.
"Morning, Teddy," he said instead, smiling happily while he watched Ginny grab another bottle out of the bag to feed him. She followed the same steps her mother had taught her, before sitting in the rocking chair to feed him.
She sat there for several moments before asking Harry, "Where did this rocking chair coming from?"
"I conjured it last night. I needed a place to feed him," Harry replied with a yawn.
"It's really comfortable, Harry. Good job. Did he cry in the night?" she asked, apparently not remembering Teddy's nighttime feeding.
"Yeah," laughed Harry, "I thought we were under attack and grabbed my wand to protect us from the intruders. It was just Teddy, though."
"Oh my! I can't believe I slept through it. I'm sorry," said Ginny.
"You did wake up, and I'm sure that if I hadn't told you that I was taking care of it, you would have gotten up," Harry assured her. She looked mollified as she went back to looking at the now red-haired child in her arms.
It was early yet again and long before breakfast would be ready in the Great Hall. Harry felt like he might like a cup of coffee and Kreacher appeared moments later.
"Here you go, Master Harry," Kreacher said, handing him a cup of coffee.
Harry accepted the cup of coffee automatically but had a look of bewilderment on his face. "How did you know I wanted a cup of coffee?"
"Kreacher knew that Master needed a cup of coffee. You thought you needed one, so Kreacher supplied it," Kreacher said, shifting from one foot to the other.
"Oh, right," Harry said, pretending to go along, but still not fully comprehending.
Meanwhile, Kreacher walked over to Ginny to see Teddy in her arms.
"Does Mistress Ginny need anything from Kreacher?" he asked politely, bowing to her. "Or Master Teddy?"
"Is there any food ready yet?" she asked, tentatively.
"Of course, Mistress, Kreacher will be right back," he responded before he disappeared.
"You've got to tell me about what happened to him one of these days," she said, still staring at the spot where Kreacher had been moments before.
"Well, we never did get around to a story yesterday, so why don't I explain the first part to you. I'll start in my fifth year when Dumbledore told me about the prophecy," Harry suggested.
Ginny's mouth opened in shock. "You mean there really was a prophecy about you? But-but I thought it was destroyed!"
"Yes, but because Dumbledore was the person to whom the prophecy was made, he could explain it to me," Harry said. He told her everything that was said between him and Dumbledore after Sirius died, and some more of what had happened before that so that she could understand. Kreacher came and went with a full breakfast that they lingered over. They washed up and changed Teddy before Harry finished the entire story.
As they descended the stairs, all Ginny could say was, "Wow, Harry. Is that why you were so distant afterwards? It wasn't just because of Sirius; it was because you thought you finally knew your fate."
"Yeah, I couldn't bear to see the looks on everyone's faces," Harry admitted. "I didn't even tell Ron and Hermione, until Dumbledore told me that I should."
The moment they arrived in the common room, everyone clamored around them. They allowed their friends to pass Teddy around, knowing that they wouldn't allow anyone that wasn't close to them to hold him, as they all made their way to the Great Hall one more time. Upon entering, Ginny once again took Teddy into her arms before they sat down at their table.
Issues of the morning Daily Prophet were strewn around the table. Harry grabbed one to see what sort of sensationalism was in it.
In large bold print:
OUR SAVIOR, TRIUMPHANT
Below these words was a large color picture of the ceremony from the previous day with Harry standing in front of Professor McGonagall in his golden robes with the medal around his neck.
Contents:
Pages 1-5 The Battle of Hogwarts and defeat of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named
Pages 6-10 The Golden Trio
Pages 11-15 The Silver Trio
Pages 16-25 From "The Boy Who Lived" to "The Chosen One" to "Our Savior" (the life of Harry Potter)
Pages 26-30 Auror Kingsley Shacklebolt named temporary Minister of Magic
Pages 31-40 Rebuilding the Ministry of Magic and capture of the Death Eaters
"Great, just what I need," Harry said sullenly, "more publicity."
"Actually, Harry, it's pretty accurate in there. Kingsley himself made sure that all of the articles were appropriate," Hermione told him, not looking up from her copy. Harry couldn't help but be somewhat impressed. He began reading through the first article, which recounted the battle that had ensued there at the school only two days past.
"Okay, everyone, we'll be taking a Portkey directly after breakfast," Arthur announced. Everyone nodded their understanding. "Harry, what time is Andromeda expected at the Burrow?"
"Well, I'm not entirely sure. She said that she'd meet up with us there later," Harry responded.
Ginny looked down at Teddy, almost forlornly, knowing that she would have to give him back to Andromeda. Harry put a comforting arm around her shoulders briefly, before remembering that he needed to talk to Kingsley again. He caught Ron's eye and nodded up to the head table. Ron nodded as well, and the both of them approached Kingsley.
"So, how'd everything go?" Harry asked him.
"Perfect, Harry," Kingsley responded. "I'll let you know when we're ready to move in. I'll send you a Patronus, if that's okay. I understand that you'll be using Fawkes for your means of communication, which is just as reliable."
Harry gave his assent and they walked back to their table to find everyone rising, ready to leave for the Burrow. They all gathered around an old boot that was their Portkey.
"Will you be able to handle him while we take the Portkey, Ginny?" asked Harry.
"I'll be fine, I'm sure," she replied, holding Teddy a little bit tighter to be sure.
Upon arriving in Ottery St. Catchpole, they slowly approached the house that hadn't been occupied in the last few weeks. Ginny carried Teddy with Harry beside her, when they saw the immense destruction that had befallen the beloved home. She almost faltered before Harry righted her. The grounds had been practically demolished by the Death Eaters' search.
"Oh, Arthur, what are we going to do?" Molly asked, crying again.
Harry was the first to react. He sneaked away from the family and whispered, "Kreacher."
The elf appeared immediately. "What can Kreacher do, Master?" he asked, until he looked up at the house.
"Don't worry, Master Harry, we'll fix it," Kreacher said faintly and disappeared.
Harry wasn't sure what that meant. They all approached the broken house with trepidation. The second and third floors had completely collapsed to the ground. Upon entering the house, the only thing left intact was the clock, which was pretty battered. Harry's heart clenched just looking at it. Fred's hand had disappeared. He was no longer a living member of the family. Harry wasn't the only one to notice this either. They all just looked at the clock that had all of the hands pointing to "home" except that one which was missing. There was a bang out in the yard, wresting them all from their stupor. Kreacher had returned with what appeared to be an army of workmen. They immediately began repairing the damage.
Harry motioned to Kreacher to move to a more private place. They walked some distance from the rest of the Weasleys before Harry said, "Tell them to spare no expense and to use the gold from my vaults. I want a good-sized room for each member of the family and an enormous kitchen that Mrs. Weasley will be able to enjoy. Oh, and make sure that clock comes out in perfect condition."
He knew Kreacher understood when he looked back at him mischievously and said, "Yes, Master Harry, why don't you take the family to your home for now. Kreacher will take care of the luggage." Kreacher then explained that he'd gone to Kingsley, who had sent the workers to the Burrow.
"Thanks. What would I do without you?" Harry said appreciatively, making the elf blush and begin bellowing orders to the men. Harry smiled to himself, thinking that Kreacher was the true general amongst them all.
Harry walked back over to the family and said, "It will take a while before the repairs will be complete. Why don't we stay at my house for now?"
"Wouldn't your aunt and uncle be rather upset?" Molly said with a look of distaste on her face.
Harry laughed, "No, I mean Grimmauld Place!"
So they all Apparated to Grimmauld Place, landing on the front steps, Ginny hanging onto Harry's arm for Side-Along Apparition. They walked into the austere house; all of them apprehensive, save for the Golden Trio, who had found a brief respite there during their journeys in the past year. Harry noticed that the tongue-binding spell had been lifted as he crossed the threshold. Kreacher appeared into their midst once again, almost immediately upon their arrival.
"Kreacher believes that the work is going well, so Master and his family should go and rest in the drawing room to wait for lunch," he said.
Everyone besides Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny looked astounded by this speech, but they all climbed the stairs to the drawing room anyhow. Harry couldn't help but notice that Mrs. Black's portrait, which had previously screamed insults at all of them, was conspicuously empty. He wondered if Kreacher might have had a chat with her. He couldn't imagine that she would be too happy that her devoted house-elf had accepted Harry as his master. He smiled slightly, Hermione and Ron both catching his eye. They had obviously noted the change as well.
They walked into the drawing room, which had somehow been furnished in their absence. Harry took Teddy from Ginny, while everyone looked around in appreciation of the new décor.
"Harry, what did you do to the place?" Molly asked in wonder, fingering the new curtains.
"Well, we didn't do anything, but Kreacher definitely changed his tune towards us. I can only assume that he did all of this," Harry responded, still looking around.
Kreacher suddenly appeared again, bearing a large tea tray.
"Master Harry, Kreacher is sorry. He took the liberty of bringing in some furnishings for his Master's return," Kreacher said, clearly hoping that he wouldn't be punished for his use of house funds.
"No, you did a marvelous job!" Harry told him, and he was sincere in his praise.
Kreacher drew himself up very proudly and took great pleasure in announcing that lunch would be served in an hour.
"I need to tell Andromeda where we are before she shows up at the Burrow!" Harry suddenly exclaimed. "Fawkes!"
The bird appeared immediately in a brief burst of flame. Harry quickly wrote on a piece of parchment their location and for her to meet up with them there, handing it to Fawkes.
After lunch and a few hours later, Molly was still marveling over the furniture and the decorations, which were almost a combination of Gryffindor Tower and the Burrow sitting room.
The doorbell rang and everyone cringed, expecting the cries of Mrs. Black. They came to their senses, once the bell just continued to echo through the corridors without interruption, and rushed to the door, where Andromeda stood on the stoop, appearing nervous.
"Please, come in, Andromeda," said Ginny, welcomingly. Harry couldn't help but notice how perfect a hostess she was.
Andromeda crossed the threshold and immediately grabbed Teddy out of Harry's arms. "Oh, my baby, I've missed you! He didn't give you any trouble?" she said, addressing the baby, Ginny and Harry simultaneously.
"No, he was perfect," Ginny replied.
"Yeah, cause you didn't get up in the middle of the night," Harry said, softly enough that only Ginny could hear him, and with a laugh in his voice. She rolled her eyes and gave him a playful punch on the arm.
Noticing that Andromeda didn't seem comfortable entering the house, it occurred to Harry that she likely hadn't been there since she'd been blasted from the family tree. "It's different now," he assured her.
"I know, but I never did like coming here. Although Sirius and I usually managed to escape and wander about Muggle London eventually," said Andromeda, looking like she might start to weep. Instead she held Teddy up to her face and kissed his nose. "We won't raise you that way, my boy."
Harry and Ginny led her upstairs, happy that Kreacher had put a large cabinet in front of the Black Family tree, so that it could no longer be seen.
A short while later, Kreacher appeared in the doorway of the drawing room and told them that they were to sit down to eat. They all filtered into the dining room and everyone was curious as to how Kreacher had managed to make it look so inviting. It resembled the Great Hall, in that the candles were suspended in midair and the food simply appeared before them. Even Molly complimented Kreacher's Onion Soup, and Harry just secretly hoped that the elf could hear everyone's praise of his abilities.
"Andromeda," Molly began, giving her friend's mother a pleading gaze, "would you please come to stay with us awhile? I know that Harry will need to have his godson near him right now, and I think we all just need to be together."
"Oh, yes, Molly. I would be happy to accept that invitation. Teddy will need his godfather too. I'm afraid that I haven't been a very good guardian for the child in the last few days," she said, breaking down. Hermione, who sat next to her, took Teddy in her arms to allow Andromeda cry into Molly's shoulder. "How, Molly, why?" were the only words that Andromeda seemed capable of saying.
Molly led Andromeda out of the room, while the rest of them just sat in silence, not touching the food in front of them. Even Ron didn't seem to have an appetite anymore; he just used his fork to move food around the plate. Hermione tried to entertain Teddy for a few moments, but he kept fussing. She turned to Ron, who looked at the baby a little apprehensively, but accepted him into his arms when Hermione handed him over.
"Hey, there," Ron said, with a look on his face that clearly said that he had no idea what to do with the baby. Harry started laughing, because he imagined that it was the same look he had on his own face the previous day. Ron gave him an annoyed expression, before saying to the baby, "Your parents were some of the coolest people I've ever met. We all loved them dearly. Aunt Hermione and I will be with you through everything right along with Uncle Harry and Aunt Ginny."
It was like ice breaking. The rest of the Weasleys were all passing Teddy around, introducing themselves as an aunt or uncle, while he just looked up at them, sometimes changing his hair color to match the person holding him.
"You know, Harry, maybe that's what we should have him call us," Ginny remarked, in reference to the aunt and uncle business.
"No, I think I'd like him to just call us Harry and Ginny. He can call your brothers and their wives aunt and uncle. I don't want him to call us mum and dad. If he feels comfortable someday, like I now do with your parents, then that's fine. But I don't want him to grow up thinking we're his parents," Harry said firmly.
"Maybe you're right, Harry," she said, realizing that she'd just had a startling insight into his psyche.
She squeezed his hand as they watched the baby being passed around the table to each family member who enjoyed holding him. Harry was particularly touched when he saw George whispering into Teddy's ear, no doubt giving him the secrets to causing anarchy.
"Ok, that's enough, George," Harry said, smiling widely. "I don't need you corrupting him quite so young."
"Ah, but, Harry, that's when it needs to be nurtured. Teach them young, Fred and I always…" George said, breaking off. The pleasant moment was forgotten and George just hugged the baby extra close before passing him to Charlie. George got up and left the table, his hands deep in his pockets. Harry started to get up to follow him, before Arthur pulled him back down.
"Let him be; it's going to be a while before he can handle it," Arthur said. They all sat in an awkward silence before Molly walked back into the room. She immediately noticed the tone in the room; a room full of Weasleys was never quiet. She looked to Arthur for an explanation. All he could say was, "George."
"Oh, I know. I just got Andromeda into bed. She's in total shock. Well, it's no wonder, really. We lost one child, Arthur. She's lost her husband and her only child. What right do we have to grieve? We still have so many more children that we can watch live and grow! How do we help her? I don't even know." Molly sat down into her husband's lap and let her sorrow overtake her once again.
The rest of the people in the room weren't sure what to do. Some were crying silently, their tears streaming. Harry walked over to Charlie and took Teddy in his arms.
"This is how we help her," Harry said, looking down at the sleeping baby. "This is how we deal with this."
Everyone stopped and looked at him as though they couldn't quite comprehend his words. So he continued, "Just before I died, I saw Remus. I saw, I saw…"
He sank back into his seat. Not even Ron and Hermione knew this. He had told them about his trek into the forest, but not about what came out of the Resurrection Stone. He didn't know if he could tell anyone. Ginny placed her hand on the side of his face. It was then that he realized that perhaps he needed to share this with his family.
"I used the Resurrection Stone that was hidden inside the snitch, to pull my parents, Sirius and Remus back to Earth. They gave me the courage to move on. I felt like I was simply joining them, not bringing them back to life," Harry said, the last sentence directed toward Hermione, in particular. She just looked at him with a worried expression. So he continued. "I said that I didn't want any of them to die. I apologized. I…I…apologized to Remus. I tried to say that I was sorry for him dying, just when he'd found his happiness and his son. He said 'I am sorry too. Sorry I will never know him….but he will know why I died and I hope he will understand. I was trying to make a world in which he could live a happier life.'
"I think that's what we need to try to hold in our hearts," Harry finished, knowing that, in his own heart, he would always feel the guilt and pain of these people's deaths. Yet he took comfort in knowing that they were in a better place, 'the next great adventure' as Dumbledore described it.
Harry bobbed Teddy up and down in his arms unconsciously as he said, "When I was kind of dead, Dumbledore told me not to pity the dead. He said 'Pity the living, and, above all, those who live without love.'"
He suddenly realized the impact of these words. He'd almost forgotten them, in the craziness of the last few days. He realized that, even if it was his fault that these people were dead, his duty was to the living. He looked up at the people that he considered to be his family and noticed that they too had come to this conclusion. They would still miss those that they had lost, but there was the comfort that they would see them again. Silence gripped those around the table as they all took in Dumbledore's words, given to them by Harry.
Teddy chose to break the silence by crying quite loudly. "Oh, I think it's time to feed him," Ginny said, taking him from Harry's arms and leaving the room.
Everyone started to drift upstairs, while Kreacher explained where they were to stay. It would seem that he had anticipated everyone's needs. Ron and Hermione now occupied the vacant room next to the Master bedroom that Kreacher had redone for Harry. Kreacher might have been reprimanded for the expense that he'd gone to, to rebuild and furnish Grimmauld Place, had he a different Master, Harry thought as he saw the changes that had been made. Of course, Harry just began to feel a little bit more affection for the elf that he was coming to love. He entered the Master Suite to find a cradle at the end of the bed for Teddy. Kreacher had obviously anticipated this need as well and filled it without question.
"Harry," she said as they climbed into the bed. "How do we move on?"
"I don't know, Gin, but we'll figure it out as we go," Harry responded. He fell asleep almost instantly as his head touched the pillow.
"Her skeleton will lie in the Chamber forever."
Voldemort held Ginny up against him. He traced his wand almost lovingly along her neck. He gave Harry that signature look that he had on his face just before he killed. The eyes turned scarlet.
"What are you going to do, silly boy?" he sneered.
"No! Take me!" Harry cried, running forward. High sickening laughter and green light filled Harry's world.
A scream echoed in Harry's head and he struggled to respond to it. When his eyes opened, his body ready to spring into action, Ginny was hovering over him. Ron and Hermione had run into the room. Ron, having more experience than the other two, pulled them back worried that Harry might get sick. Indeed, he got them out of the way just in time as Harry vomited over the side of the bed.
"Harry! Harry!" Ron shouted, trying to wake him up fully. He barely registered Ron's voice.
"Ron?" Harry asked in confusion, still partially gripped in the dream. "I don't understand."
Harry sat up in the bed, shortly before the baby that lay at the end gave up a wail. Hermione rushed over to Teddy, leaving Ron and Ginny to take care of Harry. Ron quickly said, "Scourgify," to clean up the puddle of sick and aimed a mouth-cleansing charm at his friend for good measure.
Harry just looked at Ginny with total amazement. "You're alive," he crooned, holding her as tightly as he could. All he could do was hang on to her and try to hide his tears of gratitude that she was living. None of them knew what he was talking about.
The rest of the household, having been roused from their beds from the shouting and Teddy's crying, began piling into the room.
"He had you…Riddle…he killed you. I tried to stop him…he wouldn't stop," Harry rambled, realizing that somehow the Chamber of Secrets had combined with his parents' death, but now it was Ginny he was trying to save, rather than his father saving him and his mother. Was this what was to come? No, it couldn't be, because Riddle was gone, right? Harry couldn't get his mind around it. He couldn't figure it out. Wait, there was nothing to figure out. It was just a nightmare, right?
"Ginny, you're alive. That's all that matters," said Harry, repeating his words over and over, gripping her even more tightly to him.
"Harry, wait a few moments," Arthur said, before rushing down the stairs. Harry had no idea where he was going; he just wished that the images would leave his mind. He shook his head, almost to dispel the horrible notions that were haunting him. Hermione handed the baby to Andromeda and asked her to take him back to her room.
"NO!" Harry shouted. "Please don't take Teddy from me."
Andromeda stopped, although she looked apprehensive. Arthur returned a few moments later with some potion.
"Harry, you need to drink this. It will allow you to sleep without nightmares," he advised. Harry accepted it, almost greedily.
He fell back onto the pillows and was dead to the world.
"Okay, Andromeda, why don't we bring the cradle into your room," Arthur said.
Ginny interrupted him, "No, Teddy stays here. If Harry happens to wake up and find him gone, his panic would be horrible. Just in case I don't hear him, why don't we use a charm so that Andromeda can hear him if he cries?" She couldn't help but think about the previous night when she hadn't heard Teddy.
This was agreed to readily. Ginny knew that Ron and Hermione would both be listening closely as well. She looked back at the man she loved. It would be a long road for him, to let his past stop haunting him. She didn't know even where to begin with that. She'd have to worry about it in the morning. She knew that her father must have given Harry something to force him to pass out. She lay down beside him and tried to sleep. But her thoughts were plagued with worry. How could they help Harry get out of his nightmare? Eventually exhaustion consumed her, and she slept.
Crying once again woke Ginny early.
Ginny smiled sadly at Harry, while she cooed to Teddy, preparing a bottle for him and soothing him. She would have to talk with her dad today about how to help Harry. In the meantime, they had a difficult day ahead of them. She refused to think about Fred while she fed Teddy. He needed her to be positive; he needed her to be cheerful. She would do that because that's what she should do. She smiled down at him, and laughed at his now red hair and green eyes. His eyes had been green since he'd first met Harry, she realized. Teddy changed his hair color depending upon the person that held him, but she had yet to see his eyes return to the brown that they had originally been when she first saw him. He'd clearly formed a bond with his godfather, she thought, looking over to Harry. He was once again thrashing in the bed.
"RON!" cried Ginny, her hands tied by the child in her arms. He and Hermione came running into the room.
"Shite," Ron said, upon approaching the bed. "Harry! Harry! You need to wake up, mate!"
Finally Harry came up, with sweat pouring from his face. He looked over to Ginny sitting with Teddy in the rocking chair.
Harry sighed and said, "I just saw the empty cradle and thought it was a part of the dream."
Ron and Hermione exchanged a look, that didn't go unnoticed by Harry.
"Do you honestly not have nightmares about everything that's happened?" he asked defensively.
They both now had guilty looks on their faces. Hermione said, "Of course we have nightmares, Harry."
"It's just that your dreams have never been just that. Your nightmares have always been…well…real!" Ron offered, with a look of apology and worry.
Harry tried to wipe his face on the sheets and gripped his nose tightly between his eyes, before grabbing his glasses and facing his best friends.
"Yeah, I know," Harry offered, lamely.
"I just can't seem to be able to stop them. It's silly really, because I probably know more about life and death than anyone living!" he added, with a look of incredulity on his face.
"Why does it all still bother me?" he asked them.
None of them had a response, especially since the question seemed more rhetorical than anything. There was the obvious answer, but that didn't seem worthy of discussion. Finally Ginny took a gamble and asked, "What is still bothering you?"
"I don't know, really," Harry said, seeming to ponder it for the first time in terms that others could understand.
"I suppose I just need to learn to deal with it. Look, I don't think I'm ready to talk about it, even to you lot," Harry said waving his hand at his best friends in the world. "I'll let you know when I am ready."
They accepted it, knowing Harry as well as they did. They walked down to the kitchen. The rest of the family was there, George looking completely dazed. The funerals began that morning. The first would be Fred's.
Fred would be buried in Ottery St. Catchpole, near to where the Weasleys had lived for so long. The family Apparated to the site. It was crowded. Harry saw their Quidditch team members and schoolmates. Then he realized why it seemed so ridiculously crowded. Reporters were fighting to get as close as they could. It was no secret that he was close to the Weasleys, and would therefore be present for Fred's funeral.
Harry handed Teddy to Ginny and approached the reporters. "If you know what's good for you, you will leave right now. I don't want to see any of you at these funerals. Please, remember the gravity of these occasions. When I am ready, perhaps I will explain everything that's happened to you. If you don't clear out now, I can guarantee that you will not get that 'scoop,'" Harry told them, trying to be as civil as possible. He looked at every face, trying to memorize the details so that he would know later on who was respectful and who wasn't. But they all took him at his word and seemed to be even somewhat fearful of him, as they backed up and then ran in the other direction. It seemed a bit ridiculous, but if that was all it took, Harry wasn't about to argue.
He turned around to look at Ginny and took the baby from her, knowing that her grief might be too great to hold him properly. He put his arm around her as he steered her towards the front of the seats, where the rest of their family were seated. They sat next to Ron and Hermione. Ron had his head buried in Hermione's shoulder, obviously trying to hide his tears. Hermione too was sobbing, but she did everything she could to keep Ron upright. Harry shifted Teddy to his other arm, so that he could hold Ginny as well, who automatically leaned into him.
Harry watched the same man, who had presided over Dumbledore's funeral, begin the ceremony. He even said the same words. They meant absolutely nothing. They said nothing of who Fred was. Harry couldn't allow it. He couldn't let this man just go on about Fred's "noble sacrifice." He wouldn't allow it.
Harry wasn't sure of what he was going to do and suddenly found himself on his feet. With Teddy still tucked in his arm, he marched up to the dais where the man was going on and on about nothing.
"I will talk about Fred," Harry with a conviction in his voice. The man looked astonished for a moment but then simply bowed to Harry and moved out of the way.
"I'm not entirely sure what that man was talking about, to be honest," Harry began, realizing that he had no idea what he was going to say. He rather expected to get a scalding lecture from Hermione later for his impetuous behavior, which she constantly tried to curb.
Then he looked at Fred's peaceful body in the casket and remembered why they were there. "Fred!" Harry exclaimed with a smile on his face. Teddy giggled in his arms and Harry knew how to continue. "Yes, Fred was the sort of person that we all need in our lives. I don't know that we would have made it through those dark times without Fred and George. They gave us the laughter that we so needed! Life is nothing without laughter and love. Fred always treated me as though I was his younger brother, just as his family accepted me as one of their own. Of course that also meant that he was always taking the mickey out of me."
Everyone looked on with interest now, chuckling, so Harry went on. "I'm not sure exactly what to say, so I'll just tell you how I first met Fred. I had no idea who I was and really thought that this whole wizarding-thing was perhaps a hoax. I approached King's Cross, not knowing what I was doing. I watched Fred tease his mother, saying that he was George. How could she not know her own son he asked?'" Everyone laughed again, the atmosphere lightening a little.
Harry pressed on. "A few minutes later, I met him and George. They saw me struggling with my trunk and offered to help me get it on the train. Then they saw the scar on my forehead and asked if I really was Harry Potter. Not having any clue as to what I was getting myself into, I admitted that I was. They were called over to their mother, who made sure that they would be fed on the train. I'm a bit ashamed to say that I watched out the window. But I'd never seen a Wizarding family before.
"It was Fred that promised Ginny that he would send her a Hogwarts' toilet seat when she was upset at being left behind. It was also Fred, although I'm sure George had a hand in it as well, that was responsible for trying to send ME that toilet seat when I was in the hospital wing in my first year. I suppose that they must have known I was watching them at the train station, but it meant it a lot to me that they knew I would appreciate it. I owe a great deal to Fred and George, who gave me my father's map and who never lost faith in me. I can't say that about too many people. They were my friends, even in the worst of times. So, here's to you, Fred," Harry said, as he conjured a toilet seat and levitated it above the crowd, everyone laughing through their tears.
George stood up and ran to Harry, hugging him and Teddy fiercely. If Harry hadn't known better, he might have thought he was being embraced by Molly or Hagrid.
"I agree, and here's how my twin should go!" George declared, as he pointed to the fireworks that he'd set there earlier. Harry put his spare arm around George, one of the men he considered a brother, while they watched the spectacular show that he and Fred had created.
"He's inside of you, you know," Harry told George, once they'd stepped down from the dais.
"You will see him and feel him when you really need him," Harry added, when George didn't respond.
George looked at him curiously before he asked, "What do you mean?"
"George, most of my life has been made up of people who died. When I'm in great need, the ones that I love and miss the most come to me. My parents, Sirius and Remus, all of them were able to come to my aid when I needed them," Harry explained.
"Really?" George asked. He seemed to contemplate it for a few minutes. "So, if I really need him, he'll be here?"
"Yes. You won't necessarily be able to see him or hear him, but he'll be in your heart. You'll feel him there," Harry tried to explain.
George seemed to understand somewhat and said, "When did you become so wise, Harry?"
"I'm not wise. Dumbledore was wise," Harry confided, feeling embarrassed to be compared with Dumbledore. "He's really the one who taught me everything I know and how to trust my instincts."
"Thanks, Harry. By the way, you're a great little brother. Now, let's see….what can I rag on you about…" George said with a mischievous look in his eye. "Ah, yeah, how about my sister? What is that all about?"
"Exactly what it looks like, George," Harry replied, putting an arm around his shoulders again, as though to let him in on a big secret. "Ginny and I are planning to run away to a far off land and live like gypsies."
George started laughing and couldn't stop. The rest of the Weasleys came up to them to see if George was okay, but he just kept laughing hysterically.
Finally, George calmed down somewhat and said, "Thanks, Harry. That stupid man was putting me to sleep and I don't think he had a clue as to what he was talking about."
That brought them all back to reality and they turned to follow the casket as it headed for burial. The laughter they'd shared a few moments before became a distant echo. They followed the rest of the motions.
George wouldn't allow the casket to be closed. It took all of the Weasley men plus Harry to pry him away, while George cried in a way that none of them could really understand.
As the casket was lowered into the ground, George began screaming, "Fred, no, Fred, this is just a joke. Right?" He now became almost hysterical, rambling on with, "Ok, we get the joke now. It's really not funny anymore! You can come out now. We won't be mad, honest! We'll forgive you."
He continued in the same vein for some time, Molly sobbing uncontrollably. They all thought that perhaps she'd lost two sons. Fred was the one who'd died, but would George ever really be George again without Fred?
Finally, George lay on the fresh soil that was now Fred's grave. No one was sure of what to do. All of them were all crying, but they were ready to go home, to get out of the cemetery. Yet they couldn't leave George there. Finally, Harry handed Teddy to Ginny and told her to go home with her parents. He would take care of George, he told her. She just nodded, knowing that if anyone could get George home it was him.
It was just George and Harry now in the cemetery.
George assumed that the silence meant that he was alone, and Harry let him simply grieve. He cried and railed at Fred, pleading with him to give up the joke. George finally realized that there was someone else there with him. He turned to Harry.
"It's your fault," George said angrily.
"Yes," Harry replied.
"It's all your fault!" George cried and dove at Harry. "How could you let him die?"
George hit Harry as hard as he could, and Harry let him. He knew that George needed to get his anger and frustration out. The physical pain somehow made Harry feel better. George punched him again.
"I'm sorry, George," Harry said with all of the strength that he could muster.
"SORRY, ARE YOU?" George roared. "What the hell do you know? You don't have a family to miss! You didn't even have anyone to lose in this war, did you?"
He hit Harry again.
"Who am I, George?" Harry asked loudly. "Who am I to you? Am I Harry, 'The Boy Who Lived?' Or am I the person that you came to know and love? Do you think that I've lost nothing here?"
George, now lying on the ground and consumed with his grief, looked up at Harry.
"What the hell do you know about it?" was George's anguished response.
Harry looked right into his eyes before raising his eyebrows.
"Let's see. My parents both sacrificed their lives so that I might live. The only real memory I have of them is when Dementors come too close to me and I hear their pleas to Voldemort. Sorry, but that's not the best memory to have of your parents. Then the only real father-figure I ever had was Sirius, my godfather, who I watched go through the veil. I watched my greatest hero and mentor Dumbledore die. I watched Cedric be killed mercilessly. Dobby died in my arms after Bellatrix sent her knife into him. I, along with Ron, Hermione and Percy, were almost killed in the same crash that killed Fred. I then went out there to see Remus and Tonks lying dead. I watched Snape die."
Harry took a deep breath. George looked at him; the impact of what he'd just heard hitting him heavily.
Harry continued by giving his friend the same words he'd shared the night before with the rest of the family.
George raised himself from the ground and padded heavily over to Harry. Together they looked down at Fred's grave.
"Is he really happy there?" George asked, not really understanding, but understanding fully somehow.
"Oh, I would imagine so," Harry said with a smirk. "He's with the original Marauders now, isn't he? Could you imagine the trouble he, my father and Sirius are getting into right now?"
George began to laugh and cry simultaneously, and the two of them started recounting Marauder stories and Fred and George stories as they headed back to the road. Harry Apparated them back to Grimmauld Place, knowing that George wouldn't be capable right then.
"But how do I go on?" George asked Harry, before they entered the house.
"One day at a time," Harry responded, just as he had to Ginny the night before, opening the door. He had no idea how long they'd been gone, but he thought that perhaps it had been a while, since there weren't many people left there in the old kitchen. He was briefly reminded of ancient Order meetings as he looked at the old oak table. The only people that were there besides the family and Andromeda were the original members of Harry's original Quidditch team, standing by the hearth. Angelina was still sobbing. Oliver and Katie had their arms around her. Alicia immediately moved to embrace George, quickly followed by the others. He led them out of the kitchen, presumably to go sit in the drawing room together. Harry sat down next to Ginny and put his arm around her.
"Harry, what happened to you?" she asked, taking in the bruises that were blossoming on his face from where George had punched him.
"Oh, that's nothing. I let George take some of his frustration out on me," Harry said, feeling his right cheek. It was puffy and tender under his fingers and the inside gnashed against his teeth. Molly walked over with some of the bruise-remover that she'd gotten from the joke shop and began dabbing it gently on Harry's face. He hoped that the stench of the ointment wore off quickly.
"Dear, you really shouldn't let everyone take their anger out on you," Molly admonished.
"Well, if it works, I don't really mind. It kind of made me feel better as well," Harry told her honestly. The worried look that passed between mother and daughter did not go undetected by Harry.
He made sure to take the dreamless draught that night. He knew he couldn't take it forever, but for the time being it was the only solution.
The next morning, Kreacher approached Harry and asked if he could talk to him privately.
Harry followed his house-elf into the room off of the kitchen that he had made for himself.
"What's wrong?" Harry asked, watching the elf wring his hands, looking extremely nervous.
"Master Harry, sir, Kreacher is worried. Before Kreacher's friend Dobby left, he asked Kreacher to take care of Winky if anything happened to him. Kreacher doesn't think Winky is doing too well," Kreacher said to his feet.
"Why don't you bring Winky here? I'll ask Professor McGonagall if she will allow Winky to work for us. Would that be better?" Harry said, now understanding that the elf had been nervous about asking this favor of him.
"Really, Master Harry? Kreacher will go and get her now!" Kreacher said with excitement. Harry called Fawkes to him and wrote a short note to Professor McGonagall.
"Wait, Kreacher. Before you go, I want to make something clear. You are an important part of my life, and I want you to be happy. You need to tell me if there's something wrong or if there's something you need. I will never punish you or ask you to do something that you don't want to. Do you understand?" Harry said kindly.
"Yes, sir. Kreacher is not used to being treated this way, but he will follow his orders," Kreacher said, shaking his head at his silly master. But he did as he was bidden and headed to Hogwarts to get Winky.
Harry sighed. He didn't like to think about the elf worrying all the time, as to whether or not he was pleasing his "master."
The remainder of the week continued in much the same vein. Some days they attended as many as three funerals, for Colin and for other students and Order members they had known. Originally dreading the task, but feeling it his duty to attend as many funerals as possible, Harry began to feel some of the poison that had been bottled up in him ebb away, with each funeral that they attended. It seemed that everyone else was experiencing this sensation as well. The evenings became louder and were filled with conversation, games and laughter. They were beginning to move on. Each night, once they'd retired to their room, Harry told Ginny another piece of the story that had been his life since hearing the prophecy. She was horrified, and though she would never tell him so, she was privately glad that Harry hadn't told her all of it before leaving with Ron and Hermione to hunt the horcruxes. She realized that she would have been even more worried than she had been to begin with.
On Friday, the group Apparated to the Tonks's cottage for the double funeral. Andromeda had asked Harry if he would say a few words, as he was one of the few people who knew Remus well and because she didn't know if she'd be able to speak coherently. Perhaps she didn't care for the way Fred's funeral was handled and decided to take matters into her own hands. Most of the people there were members of the Order or Tonks's coworkers from the Ministry.
Harry handed Teddy to Ginny, before walking to the front. He decided to talk about Tonks first.
"Nymphadora Tonks was one of my favorite people. She always had us laughing, even during some difficult times. She was always willing to help anyone who needed her. Before even meeting me, she volunteered to be a part of my guard. But perhaps, to me, the greatest example of her heart was the fact that she fell in love with Remus Lupin. Although Remus had never allowed himself to become close to others, for fear of hurting them, she managed to convince him to accept her and her love. She never gave up on him and forgave him when he needed her most. I'll remember to tell Teddy every day what a wonderful witch he had for a mother and how much she loved him."
Harry paused to look up at the crowd, before he wished to continue to say a few words about Lupin. He lost his train of thought when his eyes raked over the group in the last row. There sat Hestia Jones and Dedalus Diggle with Harry's aunt, uncle and cousin between them. Harry shook his head to clear it, before glancing back down at his parchment, trying to figure out where he'd left off.
Finally, he remembered what he was doing and continued, "Professor Remus John Lupin was like a second godfather to me. Like Sirius, he was always willing to drop everything he was doing in order to come to my aid. In the same way as Tonks, he would never have allowed us all to go on to fight without him. Unfortunately, Remus could not have the simple life that the rest of us know, due to what my father liked to call 'his furry little problem.' Those that knew him were not afraid of him. We didn't think any less of him for it, but in the wider world he was seen as a threat, making it difficult for him to find work and friendship. Known as Moony, he was the last living Marauder. Now he has joined his closest friends in 'the next great adventure.' Perhaps there he and Tonks can simply enjoy their time together with their greatest friends."
Harry raised his wand and sent his Patronus, a symbol of his relationship with Lupin, to land gracefully between the two coffins, before regaining his seat beside Ginny. She patted his leg comfortingly and asked him if he wanted to hold Teddy. Harry took the child from her and raised one of his tiny fists to wave, whispering into his ear to tell him how much his parents loved him.
After the burial, they all moved towards the tables that Kreacher had conjured to have a light lunch that the elf had prepared for them. Figuring he'd better see what his aunt, uncle and cousin were doing there, Harry nudged Ginny and pointed in their direction.
"Is that…?" Ginny asked, stunned. Harry nodded, and put his hand on her back to guide her over to them.
"Harry!" Dudley shouted, with a sympathetic smile on his face. He gave Harry a brief one-armed hug and said, "We were so sorry to hear of the friends you'd lost. Please accept our condolences."
If Dudley hadn't made his startling announcements before their parting the previous year, Harry might have been more shocked. As it was, Ginny's mouth hung open in obvious bewilderment. Looking closer at Dudley, Harry noticed that he'd lost quite a bit of weight since he'd seen him last. Harry knew that finding food while in hiding could be difficult and attributed the weight-loss as such.
"Wow, thanks, Dudley," Harry said, sincerely.
"Is that your godson, Harry? He looks just like you," Dudley said, looking at the baby in Harry's arms.
"Oh, uh, yeah. Teddy, this is my cousin Dudley," Harry said, pointing at his cousin. Dudley smiled slightly.
"He's….he's cute," Petunia said softly. Now this really was amazing. She hadn't been able to say anything to Harry upon their departure. "May I hold him?"
"Uh, yeah, sure," Harry said, dumbfounded, handing Teddy to her. She cooed at him a little and tickled him under his chin. He appeared happy and turned his hair to the same brown color as Petunia's. She was so shocked she almost dropped him in surprise. "Sorry, Aunt Petunia, he likes to change his hair to match the person holding him if he likes her."
"Oh," was all she managed to say in reply.
"Can I talk to you for a minute in private, Harry?" Dudley asked, politely. Harry nodded mutely and made to follow him, leaving Ginny behind to introduce herself. He hoped she'd forgive him for his accidental rudeness, in light of the fact that he was simply bewildered.
They walked a short ways away, before Harry asked, "I can honestly say that I'm completely shocked to see you here. What's going on?"
"Sorry, Harry. Mum and Dad didn't really want to come. I finally persuaded them, though. Mum still tries to pretend like she doesn't care, but I think she does, cause she was always listening intently for any tidbit of news when we were in hiding. Dad, on the other hand, well, he's Dad. You know what he's like," Dudley said, apologetically. Harry nodded, waiting for Dudley to continue. "If it's not too late, I would like to start over with you. I also think that I need to apologize for my actions and those of my parents. I can understand if you still hate us and want nothing to do with us. I had to give it a try though."
Harry wasn't sure what he'd been expecting Dudley to say, but it certainly wasn't that.
"I think I'd like that, Dudley. Why don't I stop by your house later this week and you can tell me about all of your adventures this past year? Something tells me that some drastic things must have happened," Harry said.
"That'd be great, Harry! I'll see if I can't get my parents out of the house for awhile so that we can talk. I've got a lot to tell you, to be honest," Dudley said, with a tentative smile.
"I'll send you a note. We have quite a bit on our hands right now. This was the last funeral though, so we'll have some more free time next week. I'm assuming you're more accustomed to owl post now, but I'll actually be sending you a phoenix. He's red and gold," Harry told him, so that he'd recognize the bird when he saw it. Dudley nodded, looking odd with a sympathetic expression once again at the mention of the funerals.
By the time they returned to Harry's aunt and uncle, the rest of the Weasleys and Andromeda had joined them and were introducing themselves. Harry just shook his head in dismay, before taking his place beside Ginny. He quickly introduced Ginny to his cousin, apologizing for his previous error. Teddy had fallen asleep in Petunia's arms, and she handed the baby back to Harry. Even in sleep, the baby's hair turned back to Harry's black. She gave a small chuckle, before catching herself and putting on her usual air of contemptuous silence.
"We'd better get going, Dudley," Vernon said. "We don't want to fight the weekend traffic if we can avoid it."
"Okay, Dad. Bye, Harry. It was nice meeting you, Ginny," Dudley said before walking away with his parents.
"I can't believe that was the same family that you lived with!" Ron exclaimed, in amazement.
"Tell me about it," was all Harry could manage to say in response.
The wills were delivered later that day. Fred had left his share of the joke shop to Ron and Harry jointly. This shocked them, but Ron immediately agreed to go and help George in his free time. Percy said that he too would be happy to help out, if George didn't mind.
They all decided to go with George, when he was ready, to repair the damage left by the Death Eaters when they'd ransacked the shop. George said that he had to wait awhile longer before he could face that next challenge. Ron and Harry thought it best not to push him into it, unless it became obvious that George would never be ready.
Remus and Tonks's will requested that Andromeda be Teddy's primary care-giver, but that Harry have access to the child. They'd specifically stipulated that clause because they both wanted Harry to be able to enjoy his newfound freedom, without the burden of a child, while he was so young himself. Andromeda, Harry and Ginny all agreed that this would be the best way to raise the child. Harry and Ginny would take Teddy on the weekends or whenever Andromeda felt like she needed a break.
Author's Note: This is easily one of my favorite chapters. I always wanted to see a bit more with the Dursleys. In subsequent chapters, we will learn how Dudley started to grow up. Some of it is based on what Jo described, regarding what Dudley saw with the dementors. The rest, well, you'll just have to read on to find out the rest.