Tobi (known to some people as Madara Uchiha) was currently facing his worst enemy. He was sitting in a hospital room, a doctor standing before him with a chart on hand.

The doctor's expression was grim as he read over the contents, shaking his head sadly.

"W-well..?" Tobi asked in a bit of desperation, "Just give it to me straight doc. What's wrong with me?"

The doctor sighed before setting down the chart, meeting Tobi's eyes, "Kill…kill….kill…"

"Oh shit! I forgot to turn them off!" Tobi quickly turned his eyes back to normal, not wanting to brainwash the poor doctor.

The doctor broke out of the trance before glaring at Tobi and pointing to a sign in the room.

'NO GENJUTSU'

Tobi rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, "Sorry about that doc."

"It's okay," the doctor assured before looking down. "I don't know how to tell you this but…" he struggled with his words before swallowing a lump and continuing, "You have ninja AIDS."

"W-what?" Tobi rose from his seat, his hands shaking in fear, "B-but how? I haven't had sex since the First Hokage-"

"What the hell are you talking about?" the doctor interrupted, "You've been jamming eyeballs in your face for years. Not to mention all of the DNA you put in your body just to be 'cool.'"

Tobi simply stared at the doctor, not saying anything.

The doctor sighed, "I'm dead now right?"

"Yup," Tobi responded before taking a firm hold of the doctor and sending him to another dimension.

Chapter 4

Naruto Hates Team 7

Naruto walked towards the ninja academy with a smile on his face. Last night with Hinata had been great. He had used his 13 inch penis to explore all of her holes.

Oh yes, Naruto was a stud. Hung like a horse even though he was only 13 year old.

After that whole thing Hinata had left his apartment, saying she had to go back to the Hyuuga compound since her dad hated her and ignored her. That single thing made them love each other even more. Just how had Naruto not noticed he loved Hinata?

'Maybe it's because you've never spent more than ten panels with her…'

'Panels?'

'I just broke the fourth wall fuckers!'

Naruto finally made it to the academy and opened the door to his classroom. Much to his deep hate he was instantly greeted by the bitch banshee.

"NARUTO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? ONLY PEOPLE THAT GRADUATE CAN BE HERE!" she screeched, making the whole class cover the ears and which her death since everyone in the world hates her.

The Anbu leader scoffed before finding a seat, ignoring the questionable looks his classmates threw him.

Sakura glared at Naruto before just noticing how much of a bitch she had been to Naruto.

'Have I been that bad to Naruto-kun? Wait! Naruto-kun? Did I just call him kun? Oh my god that totally means I love him and want to get on his pants!"

"Good morning class," Iruka greeted upon entering the room. He kept a smile on his face as he glanced across the room in fondness. "All of you will be starting your lives today," he nodded at the group of ninja as a wave of pride washed over him, "Sure, some of you might die. Or be raped, or tortured or have the ones you love killed right before your eyes."

The class could only look in terror as their teacher continued to speak.

"Oh man, I remember this one time I saw a ninja cut in half," Iruka remembered fondly, "Who was it? Oh! It was Daisuke, that son of a bitch… you should have seen how far apart his legs were from his arms."

Sasuke frowned deeply, eyes narrowing and jaw clenching, 'How dare Iruka speak of this in front of me. I'm an Uchiha! An Elite! Doesn't he know how superior I am? Fuck, he never even taught me anything since I know everything. I vow to kill him after raping someone just to look more like an asshole.'

"Anyway," Iruka waved them off before pulling up a piece of paper, "This right here has the teams in which you will be in. I'll only read the ones that are most likely to pass since I don't like wasting my time."

"Team Eight will be Hinata, Kiba and Shino."

"Team Ten will be Ino, Shikamaru and Choji."

"And finally, for some reason, Team Seven will be composed of Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke," he finished his list while ignoring the groans of his class, "Your jounin sensei should be here in a few minutes so please wait patiently."

Naruto gritted his teeth as he sat on the classroom. It had been a few hours and Kakashi had yet to show up. He hated being stuck in a room with the emo duckbutt-kun and the bitch banshee.

It was then that the door opened to reveal a silver-headed man. He wore a jounin best on top of a dark blue long sleeved shirt, dark blue pants and black gloves.

"My first impression of you is… you're boring."

Sasuke instantly glared, 'How dare he talk in front of me. I'm an Uchiha! An Elite! I'll kill him after I'm done raping someone and killing Iruka.'

"Meet me on top of the building," Kakashi finished before disappearing in a cloud of smoke.

'That was a clone,' Naruto gathered with his super advanced brain.

He made a mental note to brag about knowing what he was later, before beginning to make his way out of the classroom. He figured that he might as well play along with the whole thing and not tell Kakashi anything just for the laughs.

The newly formed Team 7 met on the rooftop, finding Kakashi already there with a book on hand. He nodded at them in acknowledgement before telling them to take a seat.

"Now, I want you to tell me your likes, dislikes, hobbies and dreams," the jounin announced in an easygoing voice.

Sakura looked at him in confusion, "Why don't you tell us yours first?"

Everything went quiet after that, the three males looking at her in pure shock.

"D-Did you just... talk normally?" Naruto muttered in disbelief.

Kakashi nodded grimly, "She did."

Sasuke glared at them all, 'How dare she not yell anymore in front of me. I'm an Uchiha! An Elite! I'll kill her after I'm done raping someone, killing Iruka and killing Kakashi.'

"Well..." Kakashi began with a thoughtful expression, "I have some things I like as well as things I dislike. Hobbies..? Well, I don't feel like telling you about that. And dreams? I haven't thought of it..."

Naruto rolled his eyes at the behavior of the older ninja while Sakura began to speak.

"Um... I like... Ah! Don't make me say it!" she squealed annoyingly which made everyone hate her more.

"I like training and being a badass," Naruto began his introduction with a smirk, "I dislike emo assholes that have everything they could wish. You know, murderous brothers and a cursed clan... Anyway, my hobbies are training and I dream of being a Hokage with a large harem."

Kakashi nodded at that, "Nice man. What about you Sasuke?"

"Hn, I don't like anything. Hn, I dislike a lot of things. Hn, my hobbies are writing the names of people I want to kill on paper, using my own blood of course," Sasuke explained to the group, "Hn, as for dreams. I don't have one. I only have a goal which is to kill the man that killed my clan as well as the people on my list."

'He's more emo than I thought...' Kakashi told himself before clapping his hands and looking at the young ninja, "That's it for today. Tomorrow we'll be meeting on training ground number seven. Come at six in the morning sharp and don't eat breakfast."

Naruto smirked, 'He doesn't want us to eat breakfast because of a thing I deciphered when he began to speak. In that case I will eat breakfast and come to the training grounds two hours after the appointed time since my fans will probably love that.'

End of Chapter 4

I'm back to writing this story/parody. This won't be very long since I don't see myself writing a long story so it will probably end at the end of the Wave arc. Of course if you find someone to help me think of material or beta read then I could keep it going. That is, if you're actually liking this.