Author'sNote: The reference to Inspector Burnside refers to an inspector on The Bill who my husband said was very mouthy. Hello, Officer Pond! This chapter does have the obligatory Jack ending up naked scene, but it's not what you think. ;) There is nothing explicit in this chapter, but I would still like to give this a strong T rating just because it's Jack.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything in relation to Dr. Who.

Chapter 4 Impress Her With Your Ride

****Thursday****

"This is ridiculous," huffs Donna in frustration. "How much longer do we have to wait for him? It's been ten minutes!"

The Doctor wears a smug smirk as he crows, "See? Ten minutes is a long time." When Donna turns her head to give him a scorching glare and Rose widens her eyes in the rear view mirror in warning, the Doctor quickly adds, "Shutting up now."

Donna nods her head curtly and grumbles, "Good idea."

The Doctor sighs and offers, "I'll go up and find out what's taking Jack so long, shall I?" Rose sends him a grateful smile and Donna merely mutters, "Well don't take all day."

The Doctor feels momentarily guilty as he exits the car for leaving Rose with a complaining Donna but they seem to get on quite well together. Even better than he and Donna did, once they had sorted out their differences. He's slightly jealous and disappointed but then again, the same thing could be said for him and Jack. It's funny how the introduction of parallel counterparts can change the whole dynamic of a relationship.

He steps off of the elevator and makes his way over to Jack's door, knocking loudly three times. He calls out through the door, "Come on, Jack. It's considered rude to keep a lady waiting!" He then mumbles to himself, "Or Donna."

He raps sharply one more time and yells, "Jack!" as loud as he can before an uneasy feeling begins to settle in his chest. With Jack's strict dedication to punctuality, the Doctor knows that something is wrong and he pulls out his sonic screwdriver and uses the magnetic setting to turn the locks.

He bursts into the living room shouting, "Jack! Jack! Where are you?"

A barely distinct voice answers, "I'm in here, in my bedroom."

The Doctor rushes toward the sound of Jack's voice and stops dead in his tracks. He has traveled countless centuries through time and space and working for both U.N.I.T. and Torchwood has prepared him for many things, but this, this was not one of them.

Jack is lying back on his pillow, one arm handcuffed to the metal slats on the headboard and naked as the day he was born. His legs are curled up to his chest and wearing a woeful expression, he greets, "Hey, Doc. It's not what you think."

The Doctor automatically replies, "I know, Jack. It never…whoa!" The Doctor instantly spins to face the wall as he glimpses a little too much of Jack. "For Rassilon's sake man, you need to cover up!"

He scans the room for something to hand to him but as Jack has just moved in, there's not much around to help him. He finally spies a plush wizard doll in the corner on a chair. I'mnotevengoingtoask.

He continues to look at the wall while reaching back to hand the doll to Jack who accepts it gratefully and quickly covers himself. "Thanks, Doc." Jack's voice is full of resignation as he asks, "Well, aren't you going to ask me what happened?"

The Doctor takes a quick glance to make sure that Jack's decently covered before answering, "I was trying to respect your dignity."

Jack laughs a bitter laugh and retorts, "Does it look like I have any left?"

The Doctor rubs his hands across his face as he questions, "Okay, so what happened?"

Jack sighs and responds, "It was a burglar. He came in the middle of the night while I was dead asleep and the next thing I knew, I had a gun pointed at my head. As you can see, my stuff hasn't arrived yet and he wasn't too pleased to find out that he broke into an empty apartment. He thought it would be funny to take my pajamas and leave me handcuffed to the bed."

The Doctor gives Jack an incredulous look as he chastises, "You know, that sounds just a little too hard to believe."

A voice behind him and the sound of a gun being cocked behind his head causes the Doctor to freeze as the intruder growls, "Maybe this will help to convince you. I wouldn't have even had to come back here if I hadn't dropped something." He pushes the gun barrel into the back of the Doctor's head and orders, "Now move, over by the bed."

****Meanwhile, downstairs in the car…****

"What the hell is keeping those two?" barks Donna. "If I had wanted to wait this long, I would have went to the DMV and registered my new car!"

Rose releases a puff of air in sympathy. It really has been a long time. Rose opens her car door and reasons, "Donna, let's go up there and see what going on. They probably just got caught up in some new gadget that the Doctor's showing off to Jack and they've lost track of time."

"Yeah, I've noticed that," muses Donna. "You've really need to start going through that man's pockets before you let him out of the house, Rose."

Rose chuckles and states, "Trust me, Donna. That never works."

They walk briskly into Jack's apartment building, eager to be on their way, and Rose directs Donna to the elevator. A large man carrying a bundle of clothes under his arm exits the lift and courteously nods his head in acknowledgement as he holds the doors open for the two women. Both women smile at him in thanks and as the doors close, Donna notes, "It's nice to know that chivalry isn't dead."

Their trip doesn't take long at all and they soon enter the hallway to find Jack's door wide open. Each woman glances at the other, instantly knowing that they are thinking the same thing. Stun guns withdrawn, they slowly inch towards the door.

Rose is unable to detect any sounds coming from the apartment and a quick peek inside doesn't show anyone else nearby. With a swift nod of her head, Rose indicates to Donna to follow her inside. They keep their guns out in front of them in case anyone tries to take them by surprise as they move speedily in out of each room.

Both women find their confusion and fear increasing as they find each room quiet and empty, that is, until they reach Jack's bedroom. The sight that greets them not only causes them to freeze where they stand but to also double over in laughter.

The horror of Donna and Rose's sudden appearance results at both men staring at them with gazes similar to a deer caught in headlights. The Doctor, who is using Jack's pillow to protect his modesty, has the presence of mind to squeak out, "It's not what you think."

Donna spots the plush doll that Jack is shielding himself with and remarks, "Well, isn't that wizard?" Rose breaks out into guffaws of laughter and she and Donna grasp at each other's arms, barely managing to hold themselves upright.

Jack groans in mortification and the Doctor snaps, "Yes, yes, very funny! Now do you think that you two could possibly find my sonic screwdriver and release us from these handcuffs? I think it rolled under the bed when the robber surprised us!"

Neither woman is able to contain their mirth as Rose loudly snickers while she searches for the sonic and Jack tells a giggling Donna where she can find some clothes for him and the Doctor.

Once both men are dressed in jeans, trainers and a matching pair of D & D Bistro t-shirts, they all drive down to the police station to fill out a report. Their wait at the police desk ends when a Scottish brogue interrupts their reverie and greets, "Hello, I'm Officer Pond. I'll be taking your statement."

The Doctor's eyes narrow, blazing in anger. He informs her, "Oh, I have a statement all right! I want another officer, now!"

Officer Pond gives him a peculiar stare until a look of recognition passes across her features. She promptly recalls, "Oh, it's you. And how are you, Sir? If you're here to file a report for a stolen car, let me check our records first. It might have just been towed away."

The Doctor gawks at her and is about to deliver a scathing retort when Donna interrupts him. She leans on the desk and scolds, "Look Sunshine, I'm sure it's a right laugh to play Inspector Burnside with my friend here but we're on serious business. These two gentlemen were held at gunpoint earlier which means that there's an armed assailant in the area. Now the last I knew, that's an actual cause for concern. So if you don't mind, we'd like to do our duty to Queen and country and file a report as we have somewhere else that we need to be."

Officer Pond immediately straightens at this rebuke and replies, "Of course, Maam. Please allow me a moment to pull the appropriate forms and I'll be right back to assist you."

As she takes her leave, Donna turns around with a self satisfied smirk and says, "And that, lady and gentlemen, is how that is done."

You could literally watch Jack fall more in love with Donna, his knight in shining armor, while the Doctor thought to himself, Theresheis.

Rose wore a gentle smile as the Doctor whispered aloud, "Brilliant!"

****Twenty minutes later****

Rose and Donna have already dropped the men off at Jack's place to pick up his car and are currently waiting for them outside of the hotel. Donna glances up at the sign, GET SOME HOTEL, and remarks, "You know Rose, you really should have someone fix that sign."

Rose leans against her car and with a twinkle in her eyes, she replies, "Oh, I don't know Donna. It's actually pretty appropriate."

Donna makes a noise of disgust and proclaims, "I so did not need to know that."

The women are so busy chatting that they are completely caught unaware when Jack and the Doctor pull up alongside the curb. Their expressions are indescribable as they take in the appearance of Jack's car. It is a turquoise Morris Mini with a red roof and red rotating hubcaps and a large number three painted on the driver's side of the door.

Donna is dumbfounded as she turns to ask Rose, "What on Earth is that supposed to be?"

Rose answers with a slight question. "I think it's a Mini? Although, I don't recall having ever seen one that small before."

Donna stares on at it in amazement and repeats, "A Mini. More like miniscule. Who made it? Matchbox?"

Rose bites her lip and bumps her elbow against Donna's side and whispers, "Donna, not so loud. I think Jack's trying to impress you with his ride."

Donna gives Rose an incredulous look and opines, "I've basically seen him naked and now I've seen his pathetic excuse for a car. I think you can guess which ride that I'm more impressed with."

Rose barks out a loud laugh and swats Donna's arm. Jack runs around the front of his car to join the women and asks, "So, what do you think?"

Rose cautions Donna with a quick glance to be nice and Donna declares, "It's a very interesting car, Jack. I can't believe what I'm seeing."

The Doctor finally exits the car, stretching his back muscles and rubbing his neck. "Try riding in it," he grouses.

Not having heard the Doctor's complaint, Jack boasts, "I bought it when I worked at Torchwood 3, that's what the three stands for. Dr. Harper helped me pick it out since I don't really know much about cars."

The Doctor looks off to the side and concludes, Obviously.ApparentlyOwenHarperisabitofabuggerinanyuniverse. He then beckons them over to the hotel's front doors and suggests, "Why don't you two go inside? Rose and I will unload what's in the boot of her car and then we'll be right with you."

As soon as Donna and Jack have entered the lobby, the Doctor spins back towards Rose and moans, "Did you see that…that…that shoe? What exactly is he supposed to help me move with that?"

Rose glimpses the car with an uneasy expression and croaks, "Um, I don't know. Maybe he could take the microscopes and slides?"

Without warning, Donna and Jack suddenly burst out of the front doors and skid to a halt in front of the Doctor and Rose. Donna screeches, "Do you two know that there are two owls in there?"

Rose calmly states, "Oh, yeah. That's Shiver and Shake, they live here too."

The Doctor rocks back onto his heels as he announces, "You might want to keep an eye out for Han Solo and Princess Leia too. Oh! And they might be flying the Millenium Falcon. We're never quite sure when they'll be in it." He tugs on his ear as he explains, "I just can't seem to convince Han to file a flight plan."

Donna gawks at both of them disbelievingly while Jack simply vocalizes his excitement with fanboy glee. "Cool!"

Each member of the quartet grabs a box from the trunk of Rose's car before heading back into the hotel. Right before they enter the front doors, Donna catches Jack reading the sign above their heads and he blushes when he meets her eyes.

Donna purposely shifts the box in her arms as she strides directly over to him and informs him, "You have some hope," before walking into the lobby.

Instead of being discouraged, Jack runs over to the Doctor and Rose and inquires eagerly, "Did you hear that? She said that I have some hope!"

The couple watches him bounce merrily into the hotel as the Doctor merely shakes his head and murmurs, "Jack Harkness, you are an impossible thing."

He looks over at Rose who is still staring after Jack. She turns her head to face him and says, "Well, Doctor, impossible is what we do best."

They share a smile and a laugh as they walk up the steps leading to the front doors and are just in time to hear Donna's shrill cry of "Did you also know that you have bats?"

Next Chapter: Show Her That You Care