VA isn't mine
When we got back Dimitri took me to my dorm and the first thing I did was taking a shower. Washing off all the blood seemed like heaven and I slightly wondered how I had even been allowed on that private jet covered in dried strigoi blood. My clothes were ruined, I knew when I stepped out of it and threw it directly in the trashcan. Then I took the longest shower of my entire life, and considering the normal length of my showers, that said a lot. At first the water just felt amazing and finally getting shampoo in my hair was even better. Then I looked down and that was a mistake. As soon as I saw the red water I just slide down unable to stop myself from touching it. I didn't cry, it wasn't sad after all, they were both horrible creatures that had turned by choice. But seeing the blood just reminded me of that horrific sound of Elena's neck snapping and how the sword cut through their veins. I sat there till the water turned clear and long after that. Eventually I knew I had to get up and scrub the rest of my body for every little trace Spokane might have left. When I ran my fingers through my hair some strands followed, a bit bloody at the ends, Isaiah had pulled them out along with a bit of my skin, I now noticed the shampoo stung a bit. Finally, being able to wrap one of the white luxurious towels around my body I looked in the mirror. I don't know what I had expected. Something similar to a corps? A victorious warrior? Whatever I expected this wasn't it. I looked exactly like myself. As if nothing had changed. Sure I looked worn out and tired but not more than after a long day of training. My hair still looked thick and dark, my skin was still tan, my eyes still brown. I looked like me. I didn't feel like me that is for sure. I reached back and pulled the hair away as if I had decided to wear it up. My skin looked a bit paler and I looked more tired now but that was it. Was I really not supposed to look different? I decided not to dwell by the mirror any longer, obviously something was wrong with it.
Instead I changed into clean clothes and went to visit the church. It was closed of course, but just being closer to it made me feel better. The school was pretty empty and therefor pretty quiet but the silence felt more natural here. It was night I realized. Well day, the sun was up. It felt warm against my skin and I sat on a bench outside the church. I couldn't help but thing about how ridiculously old this school was. Had there always been both female and male students? I didn't know, didn't pay enough attention in history, or maybe they learned while I was gone. I imagined how it would be a hundred years ago when everyone was religious. Would the church be a social magnet? I didn't know but the thought of this place summing with energy of happy students made me smile slightly. Life. That horror house had been anything but. It was either people who were already dead or people waiting to die. This was the opposite. It was people living or waiting for life to begin. Everyone expected life to bring them something more, but they were so carefree about it. I sighed and leaned back against the cold brick wall. It felt so odd in contrast to the warm sun. I just sat there, listening to the quiet interrupted by some birds singing. It was nice. It felt like I didn't really deserve it but with most things I didn't deserve I decided to enjoy it anyway. After all I never knew when I got the chance again.
When the others started arriving I prepared myself for the massive storm of questions but it never came. A few of my fellow novices hugged me, telling me it was good to see me again, the moroi mostly kept their distance, a few smiled at me and greeted me but no one asked what happened. They already knew. I overheard a couple of moroi girls talking in hall.
"She is holding up so well, can you imagine killing two strigoi all by yourself?" One girl said a bit to sympatric and a bit too excited for my liking but it was better than her friend who said.
"It is what they train for, she had like a lifetime of experience." Bitch. The third friend didn't share her view.
"No one trains for being held captive for days, then being left alone with two strigoi to die!" she exclaimed. I liked that one. She was realistic.
"She must have felt awful being left alone in there. Where was the others?" the first said again. Running for their lives I hoped. I decided to walk past them with a smile and a wave in their direction to tell them I heard them. They blushed embarrassed and turned away. Serves them. Lissa came running to me after sobbing hysterically and jumped into my unexpecting arms. I tried calming her and figure out what was wrong when I realized those were happy sobs. Happy I was alive. She took me to the library where Christian sat on the floor between the end wall and a bookshelf. He was about to get up when he spotted us, with a look I never thought I would see on Christians face, well at least not for me; Worry. I waved him down and sat against the books on the other side.
"Hi sparky." I told him quietly trying to smile. By the look on his face I'd say I failed.
"Rose-" He started but I stopped him.
"Whatever you are about to say reconsider please." He did then he fell quiet a moment before opening his mouth again.
"When are you getting your marks?" He then asked and I couldn't help it I laughed. The marks were the last thing I had been thinking about.
"Monday I think." I just told him honestly and he nodded.
"Mason has been looking for you." He told me then and I sighed.
"I know, I am trying to avoid him." Lissa frowned but it was Christian who spoke.
"You should talk to him. You didn't see him outside that house, he was a wreck, If Eddie hadn't been hanging on him I think he would have run right back in to save you." He told me and I couldn't help but feel guilty again. The last thing I had told was that we would work it out. Now I had to crush that dream. Lissa sensed my discomfort and jumped in.
"I packed your things. From the room I mean, I thought you were dead but then a teacher came up to do it and I had already packed it so I took it back with me-" She ranted and I placed a hand on her knee to make her stop. She looked a bit embarrassed at her rant but I sent her smile.
"Thanks Liss, we can go over pick it up together." She smiled too and Christian being Christian had to ruin the moment.
"Did Kirova call you in?" He asked me and I looked at him confused.
"No why? Did she call you in?" He shook his head.
"No but Mason, Eddie and Mia did. We can only guess it is some kind of punishment. I just wanted to know if she didn't call me in because I am royal but if she didn't call you in either I don't know." He trailed of.
"that is weird…" I felt Lissa about to bubble over with secrets and looked at her suspicious.
"you know something." She was about to deny but then decided against it, I would find out either way.
"I uhm, ran into Alberta and I might have pursued her to-" I cut her off.
"Oh god you got us out of trouble?!" I exclaimed and she looked horrified.
"No, no nothing like that. I just convinced her to tell me about the reports and the plans and she said they won't punish you because you weren't going out to hunt but to get the others back. They considered suspending you for knocking the guard out but decided being held captive was punishment enough." She said looking at me. "If someone had died they probably wouldn't have done anything but considered they almost got you killed they felt like they had to take action." I sighed and threw up my hands.
"So basically their punishment is my fault because I didn't die?" Lissa looked at me shocked.
"No, no never say that Rose!" I grumbled and stood up.
"I have to go, sorry guys." I waved at them over my shoulder. Lissa yelled at me not to leave but I didn't listen.
I somehow managed to avoid the others until school started. I realized I had forgotten to get my tings from Lissa but she had put the suitcase outside my door, realizing I didn't feel like talking. My mom didn't return to the academy and I didn't know how to feel about it. The first day of school, was the day of my ceremony so I got the first classes off. The ceremony was very mature, almost quiet. No one knew what to do with a novice, who had her first kills but they decided to do it like any other ceremony. Emil pointed out my lack of promise mark but Alberta told him to just make the marks as she was sure the promise mark would follow. Then everyone came up. No one told congratulation and I was glad. Stan even hugged me, saying
"You're one of us now, I always knew you had it in you." I thought I would cry right there but I somehow held it. Then there was a lot of food and I mingled politely with some of my teachers. Dimitri kept his distance and I didn't push it. Afterwards I went back to have my combat class. My classmates of course were incredible curious.
"Come on Rose, show us what you got for your sword skills!" Sean begged and gave my ponytail a push. I laughed him off.
"Sorry guys, they have to be bandaged up, doctor's orders!" I couldn't blame them for wanting to see. Had it been anyone else I would have wanted to see too. Then I looked forward and right at Mason. He looked almost melancholic as he stood there with a small sad smile on his lips.
"Congratulations." He told me and nodded towards my neck. I gulped, those were not the words I wanted to hear. I cleared my throat before I answered.
"It is not…" I gave up trying to explain I didn't want his congrats. "Are you okay? I heard Kirova gave you shit." His smile disappeared.
"Yeah, but that's alright I mean we were reckless and all. She didn't do anything to you right?" He asked concerned that he had gotten me in trouble.
"No, she hasn't even talked to me. I think she is going to let it slip because of…" I didn't have to mention the kills, he knew.
"Probably, listen Rose I wanted to talk to you about… About us." I took in a deep breath and searched my mind for the best excuse I could possibly find. Before actually settling on something I opened my mouth and started babbling.
"I know. Listen Mase, I meant what I said that I hoped we could work it out I really did but, during those hours before the guardians stormed the house, things changed. I changed. I really need to figure myself out right now and I need some time and space and most of all really good friends to do that. Could you be my friend?" It was so convincing even I believed it. Possibly the best told lie I ever delivered which made me question: Could it be true? Whatever it was or not, Mason believed it. He nodded a bit eager actually and smiled.
"Sure thing Hathaway, wouldn't deprive you of my charming face." He joked and I let out a sigh of relief and hugged him.
"Thank you, Mase." I murmured and gave him a small peak on the cheek.
"I have to go, training with Belikov!" I called over my shoulder as I ran off. He stood back ruffling his hair like he used to with a small smile on his lips. I hoped that smile did not mean he thought we had a chance again. Getting my friend back however sounded appealing.