I don't own any of the stories or the GeorgiaNicolson Diaries characters...Louise Rennison does.

crusty uranus

Wednesday,Spetember 21st

8am

Back to school.

I feel hot and cold at the same time.

I think I'm getting the flu...

2 Minutes Later

I asked Mum to take my temperature cause I thought I had or was getting the flu but she told me I was being ridiculous.

5 Minutes Later

I just remembered when Libby was playing nurse she borrowed the thermometer to take Angus' I don't mean orally.

Erghh.

9am

Met up with the Ace Gang in Assembly.

I was going to sit next to Rosie.I'd rather sit with her and be exposed to her loonosity than have to talk to Jas about her 'feelings',but Jas wasn't there so I sat in my usual spot.

Then Slim came out in a wool pantsuit and addressed us. "Due to the untimely release of school science lab property,Langley and Mortimer will not be holding classes starting tomorrow lasting throughout the weekend."

All the classes went crazy, cheering "Hip hip hooray for Slim and her merry band of lesbians!" for the longest time .Hawkeye had to shout at us as loud as she could before we were quiet.

"Now, as I was saying, due to the untimely release of school science lab property,Langley and Mortimer will not be holding classes starting tomorrow lasting throughout the weekend,re-opening on Monday so there is to be no exucse for homework undone, tardiness, or school will be covered and sprayed by exterminators,using I'm sure, a noxious spray, so everyone at the end of classes, needs to bring all food items and containers out and take them home with you bringing what they need back on that to be understood? Now, stand for the opening prayer."

We were too exicted to pray though, and all throughout the gym you could hear the buzz of groups of girls talking.

Jools said "I bet it was the ginger titches, the ones that call you want to be just like you, stupid gits." I hit her round her ear with my beret.

Ellen said "But, er, won't they like, I mean, the rats..and the chemicals..."

"Yes, but that's the titches didn't think this sort of thing they had done it at the last bell Friday,they could have all escaped out by Monday."

"Like when you let the locusts out?"

"I still maintain it was an accident." and they all sid "Sure,uhuh."

Physics.

We're supposed to be studying the outermost layers of the terrestial planets but we've all too besides, the whole class has got the mad know the type, when one person laughs, the person next to them starts giggling, then the girl next to them starts giggling, and then so on and it spreads so that everyone has it? Well we had that.

Herr Kamyer is going over a review of the terrestial planets,focusing today on Uranus, but he keeps pronouncing it "Your Anus.".

So when ever he says something like "Uranus is covered with a thick crust" we start off in mad giggling.

But we're not helping matters when Rosie raised her hand and asked "Herr Kamyer, does Uranus have gaseous rings around it?",pronouncing it like Herr Kamyer does, and Herr Kamyer, looking taken aback, replied, "Ja, but off course it does." and looked even more confused when we laughed like mad.

So no one really is paying much attention to the class.

But Herr Kamyer hasn't even noticed. All we've got to do is raise our hand every few minutes and ask about Uranus and Herr Kamyer won't let on .

I don't think he ever will.

The Ace Gang,sans Jas are allowed to sit together this term so we got a chance to chat during the madness that is called Physics.

Jools asked "So does anyone know where Jas is?"

"Maybe she's on her period." Rosie asked.

"No, remember, she ate your whole choccy bar last week?"

Rosie frowned. 'Oh,right."

"I know where she is.." and they looked at me. "Well,at least I think I do." and I told them about Tom and Australia.

Jools swore quite violently and Rosie was even gobsmacked for a minute.

"Maybe I can have Sven go over and knock some sense into him."

"If he gets jailed he'll be sent back to Reindeer-a-go-go Land."

"Right, I don't want that. What should we do then?"

"Maybe she should,like, I mean...it IS far away and..." Ellen trailed off at our Look.

"We need to convince her she's a catch with or without Tom around."

Rosie snort-laughed and said "That's funny,Ge.."

"No,I mean it, we've got to show her that it's sad and useless to throw your self at a guy."

"Like when you stalked Robbie?"

"Shut up. Jools."

"And Masimo."

"Shut up Mabs. This is different." They raised their eyebrows in tandem like short furry synchronized swimmers..or something.

Anyways,they raised their eyebrows in tandem and I said "She's crying because he's going off to be gone for 6 months. Robbie was gone for 2 whole years."

Jools rolled her eyes "Oh, that'sREALLY different."

"COMPLETELY different!"

In the end, they agreed to help me convince Jas she really is a nice,useful person without Tom,aka Mission Impossible.

R.E.

My idea was to give Jas a makeover,makeup-wise AND clothes-wise,and start her on a low-midget-gem diet plan so she'll be stylish and thin(er) by the time Tom comes back for Chrimbo hols,and sees what he's missing and begs to stay home .So he'll be happy and Jas won't be so mopey and dull.

Tres brilliant I think .

"Now, how are we going to convince her my plan is the bees knees?"

"Bribe her?" Rosie asked.
"With what?"

"Midget gems."

"No, because she's supposed to be on a midget gem diet,remember?"

"Oh."

"Maybe if we like,I mean,tell her...she'll like, be happy and er, you know."

"Jas won't be happy if she finds out what we're doing."

"Too if you tell her she won a makeover? And get money from her Olds for it?I'm sure they'd be glad to have a new daughter."

I gave Jools a big hug."Brilliant! So it's settled, we're to meet at Jas' after school round 5?"

They did synchromized nodding like those little bobble head dogs people put in thier veee-hicles in New York,New York and then a bit of Horn dancing.

15 Minutes Later

Miss Wilson thought we were nodding because we agreed that the old,old time-y astronomer blokes were all heretics and her bob nearly exploded in excitement.

How sad.

Never mind.